Doubt
The Devil remained inside the ruined store while Gabriel and Castiel went outside to talk as they walked down the street. They hadn't gone far when the archangel decided to speak.
"What are you doing?"
"What?" the younger angel asked, sounding clueless.
"What are you doing, Castiel?"
"Did Lucifer tell you?"
"That he's offered you some sort of deal? No. He doesn't have to. He's Lucifer." Gabriel lengthened the name, pronouncing each syllable.
"You think I shouldn't."
"I don't think you should even entertain the idea of a deal."
Castiel said nothing and they continued walking down the street in total silence for at least another block before the quiet was broken.
Gabriel sighed. "You've come a long way since you were a little midget angel."
He tousled the younger angel's hair playfully and then slung an arm around his shoulders.
"I'm surprised you came to me. Lately you've been strictly a solo act."
The trench-coat wearing angel stared miserably at the ground. This made Gabriel laugh.
"I didn't mean any offense. Sheesh, Castiel, learn to lighten up just a tad, would ya?"
"The last big decision I made ended very badly. I killed people. Innocent people."
"You didn't kill anybody. That was the demon. Not you." Gabriel reminded him with a smile.
"It wasn't the demon who stabbed Balthazar in the back."
"Yeah, okay, that was your bad. Mistakes happen," said Gabriel plainly. "Balthazar has been your friend for a long time and you know he forgives you. Now forgive yourself and move on."
"You make it sound so simple," he murmured.
"That's because it is that simple," the archangel replied.
"I'm considering saying yes."
Gabriel stopped in his tracks and lowered his arm, attention entirely on Castiel, no trace of a smile anywhere.
"You mean that," he said knowingly.
"Yes."
The older angel took a deep breath and exhaled audibly. "All right, lets hear it. What exactly does Lucifer want you to agree to?"
"He wants the vessel he has to be made to contain him for good. In return for my help, he will refrain from harming Sam and Dean Winchester."
"For two humans? You're contemplating a deal with Lucifer to protect village idiot number one and two?"
"Gabriel."
The archangel waved a hand in the air, dismissing him from speaking any further. "Yeah, yeah, God placed them under your care and all that. We all know the story."
"Then you understand why this is so important to me."
Gabriel folded his arms across his chest and lifted an arm to drum his fingers against his lips as he apparently thought things through. The tapping ceased abruptly.
"How do you feel about him?"
Castiel looked blatantly caught off guard. "What do you mean how do I feel? He is the Devil. He is manipulative, dangerous, and untrustworthy. That's why I wanted to talk to you."
"Is that all? Be honest," he gave him a look. "I mean it, Castiel."
The two angels stared at one another for a very long moment. Past comfort for either of them most likely but Gabriel didn't let up, waiting for a reply.
"I don't know."
"Come on, you can do better than that."
Castiel wouldn't meet his gaze. Gabriel solved the issue by angling his head until the other angel lifted his eyes to meet his.
"I really don't know. When he is near it just feels..like I am home. I keep my guard up anyway because I remember what he has done in the past. I try to hate him but..."
"Angels weren't made to hate," he informed him. "Angels were made out of love and for love."
"Lucifer hates God." Castiel pointed out.
"No, Lucifer is angry. He doesn't hate God. He loves God even after all this time."
"You aren't angry with him for killing you once?"
Gabriel shifted his weight around as if he were considering the question and then shrugged. "Nah."
"Nah?"
"Yeah. Nah. I put Lucifer in that position. He didn't want to kill me anymore than he wanted to fight Michael."
"Why can I not be as certain as you always are?" asked Castiel.
He chuckled loudly. "I do seem to be that way but it's not true. I'm a pathetic excuse for an archangel. I've spent a large portion of my life running away from my problems. You really are something special, Castiel. I think even Lucifer believes you're the strongest of us all."
"Hardly. You could overpower me in a heartbeat."
"In physical strength and power, sure, there are many stronger than you are. It's your will power that trumps the rest of us every time, and the will is a mighty powerful thing. It's why you're still standing here today."
Castiel said nothing and Gabriel put a hand on his shoulder as a way to provide comfort without using any words. The touch brought back a memory Castiel had thought lost to him.
He was young, barely over three feet tall, and he was seated next to Michael and Raphael. The three angels were in one of Heaven's many gardens. This part was mostly a grassy field but there were several trees scattered about, along with rocks of a variety of sizes. They were perched on one of the more flat rocks that didn't rise too far off the ground.
The two archangels were attempting to teach him about the purpose of angels and his role in everything. Both of them sat on either side of Castiel, heads held high. They were among the only four angels to have seen God and were to represent themselves as the caretakers of all God's angels in a strong, solid manner.
"Our Father loves the world very much. It is the responsibility of all of us to take care of the Earth. You, Castiel, are what is called a watcher. You are to watch over all manner of creatures living on Earth." Michael was saying.
The little angel had recently been taught telekinesis and naturally for such a young being, he found the ability much more fascinating than a lecture from his older brothers. Castiel was amusing himself with his newfound power by lifting his finger slightly so not to attract Michael or Raphael's attention, moving a small tree branch off the ground.
"But remember, Castiel," Raphael added. "You watch. You are not to interact with any of the creations, only observe."
Swiveling his finger in a circular motion, the branch rotated continuously, spinning about.
"We've talked about this before but lets make sure you were listening," began Michael. "God made you for a special purpose. You will be like all the other angels in appearance but one day, you will be given a special mission. What is that mission, Castiel?"
Currently, the piece of wood was moving through the air, shifting like a pen to paper, spelling the tiny angel's name. It was making a swooping motion to make the letter "e" in his name when the branch abruptly burst into flames, instantly incinerated.
"Castiel! You aren't paying attention!" Yelled Raphael.
Michael lowered his fingers from when he'd raised them to snap to conjure the fire and stared down at the child squirming around on the rock. There came laughing and the two archangels looked away from the young angel to find Gabriel leaning against one of the trees in the field, not far from where they sat. Lucifer stood next to the youngest archangel, a nearly identical smirk on his face.
"You should know by now, he can never listen for longer than four hours at his age." Lucifer reminded them in all seriousness.
"He needs to understand his role in Heaven." Raphael said firmly.
"Come on, let the little guy take a break. Then he can give you all the attention you desire later," suggested Gabriel.
Michael peered down at Castiel who had his head hung down low against his chest, feeling self-conscious about the attention he'd thrust upon himself because of his misbehaving. He often found himself in trouble. With a short attention span and an innate habit to question everything, he was scolded quite a bit. It was an angel's duty to obey without question and at the moment, Castiel was the opposite of what made a good angel.
"Young one."
The small angel didn't move.
"Castiel, when someone is speaking to you..."
He forced his head up to meet Michael's eyes.
"Good. You will go with Gabriel to learn about the things our Father has made. When you are finished, you will return to listen to Raphael and I. And the next time, you will listen, yes?"
"Yes, Michael," he dutifully answered.
Raphael grumbled his disagreement with the plan but did nothing more. Castiel continued to stare wide-eyed at Michael. Realizing he was waiting to be dismissed, Michael waved him away.
"Go on, Castiel. You're dismissed."
The little angel wasted no more time and hopped off the rock. His favorite moments were when he was being taught by Gabriel or Lucifer because most of the time they would take him down to Earth to show him the ocean, the forests, all kinds of things. Castiel made it over to the other two archangels and looked up at them both with his big eyes.
"Can we go to Earth? Can we?"
Gabriel grinned down at him amusedly and this prompted the young angel to add, "Please?"
"You got it, kid. Think it's time we check out a tropical rainforest."
Castiel merely stared up at him as though Gabriel was the most amazing person in the world. Then the wide eyes shifted over to the angel standing next to his new hero.
"Lucifer? Will you come too?"
Lucifer placed a hand on top of Castiel's head and smiled down at him. "Not this time. I have something to discuss with Michael. You go ahead with Gabriel."
Castiel blinked twice. His eyes finding the street he was standing on in Carthage, Missouri with Gabriel. The memory had seemed so vivid and real.
"Wow. I take it you can't control these visions or whatever, huh?"
The younger angel looked at Gabriel, startled. "Wait? You saw that?"
"Um..that's a big yeah."
"No...No I guess not," admitted Castiel.
Gabriel's fingers were back by his lips, tapping. "This deal. I don't think it's a good idea, Castiel."
There was silence as a response.
"But..it's also not my decision to make."
He caught the other angel's eye. When he was certain Castiel was listening fully, he continued.
"If you want to make a deal with Lucifer, then make it. Only do it if you're getting something more out of it."
"More?"
"Yes." Gabriel told him. "More. I don't think you should deal without more from him."
"I will keep that in mind."
"Good..well that's all I've got for you. Your wise older brother's all out of wisdom for the time being. Well I guess I'm off to contend with the others until you decide to grace them with your presence once again."
"Gabriel. Thank you."
"Yeah, yeah. I hope you know what you're doing."
The archangel teleported away and once he was gone, Castiel murmured four words so softly that he barely heard them himself.
"I hope so too."
