Previously-

We ran and came back and ate our breakfast. "What's the plan today?"

"We got one more skip left this week." I pulled the file over to me and opened it. I read it and laughed.

Chapter 9

"Lu, we're going to a petting zoo today."

"A what?"

"Like a farm with little animals you can touch."

"What kinda' animals? I ain't touchin' no damn varmints!"

"No. Like lambs, rabbits, goats, ponies. Little animals you can touch and feed. This guy works there. We should wear regular clothes for this one." I looked at Lula. "Do you have some jeans? We need to blend. No purple hair either." She huffed at me.

We headed northeast towards Lawrence Township and passed a big farmer's market on the way. "We should stop here and load up on some stuff." They had crab and meats and fruits and veggies. We bought a bunch of stuff. We decided we would go by the library and get some cookbooks and have a little experimental dinner party tonight.

Finally we arrived at the Higgenbottom Petting Zoo. I parked my Honda CRV by a building near the parking lot and we headed into the zoo. We walked through the whole zoo and didn't see our guy until the very end. We sped up and headed toward him. Lula yelled at him, "Hey, you Elroy Buckner? We need to talk to you." He hopped over a fence and ducked into a small barn.

Lula said, "Dumb fucker. Like we didn't see him go in that barn. Let's go get his skinny ass."

She awkwardly climbed over the fence and I followed and we got out our girlie stun guns and tiptoed into the small barn. We walked over to a pen and looked in and didn't see anything and turned around. Lula was staring eyeball to eyeballs with a big ass ostrich. I was getting ready to say maybe we should back out of the barn when that bird made a racket and hauled off and kicked the crap out of Lula. She landed flat on her ass. Oh man, was she pissed. She got up and launched herself at that bird and feathers were flyin'. The next thing you know, phzzzt; 'big bird' was motionless on the ground. "Shit!"

"Lula is that bird dead?"

"I don't know and I don't care. That fucker was mean. He kicked the shit out of me. I thought all these animals were supposed to be nice and pettable. I just gave him a little attitude adjustment. You can't go around kickin' people for no reason."

I looked down at the bird and it twitched. "Uhh...Lula, that thing is likely to wake up really pissed off. Maybe we should back out of here before somebody sees us and wait for Elroy outside. He has to come back out."

"Yeah and maybe 'pissy bird' will get up and punt Elroy's ass right out the door and into our hot little hands."

We waited for ten or fifteen minutes and then Lula cocked her head. "Don't that look like our boy over there by your car girl?"

I turned and sure enough there was Elroy standing there smoking a cigarette. We looked at each other and the barn. "Back door," we said almost at the same time.

We started heading that way and when he saw us getting close, he ran into a that shed near the lot. When we got close to the shed, Elroy ran back out and right past us and kept going. We only had time to look at each other with raised eyebrows and turn to go after him when the little shed exploded and knocked us down and covered us with shit, literally. We got up and ran away as the flames began to get higher and spread. Then what went up next was my Honda. Shit! That was the longest I had ever had a car. We backed up and I called 911 and reported the fire. We stood there and watched as my car burned and then the gas tank exploded and it was dead. Lula said, "Damn, our dinner just blew up in that car." I glared at her.

My phone rang and the Batman ringtone chimed. I handed the phone to Lula. "Just tell him we're okay for me. I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Hello. This is Lula."

"Yeah, We're okay."

"She said no."

"Shit blew up."

"Then the car blew up."

"No, shit blew first." I rolled my eyes. Criminy, Lula!

"We good."

"Okay."

"Hello?"

"He's sending Tank and Lester and he hung up on me." I nodded.

"Just great! Tank chewed my ass this morning. Guess I'll get another one. I'm really pissed. Let's find Elroy. I want to wring his scrawny neck. My guess is that the shed was filled with animal manure they were collecting to sell as fertilizer and that idiot dropped his cigarette in there."

I pulled out my Taser and we were on the hunt. We found him hiding in a port-a-crapper on the property and we yelled back and forth at him for ten minutes until finally we threatened to turn it over unless he came out. When we started rocking it, the door flew open and I tased him. I cuffed him while cursing a filthy blue streak and when we turned around, Tank and Lester were standing there with hands on hips. Tank's mouth was twitching and Lester was clearly amused.

I said to Tank, "What? You here to chew me out again? Evidently you found Batman."

"We're just here to assist you."

"I appreciate that, but we're good. I didn't ask for assistance and tell the man in black that I don't need his help. No more trackers and butt out of my business."

Lester asked, "What the hell happened between you two? You went from good friends to not talking at all."

"Ask him Lester. Oh yeah, in case I don't see you for a while, this is Elisa in Miami. She wants to meet you." I flashed the picture on my cell at him and he beamed when he saw her ass-ets.

I pointed my finger at him. "She's not a one night stand Mr. Gigolo. She's a nice girl with a great personality. Don't make me come looking to kick your ass. I'm serious. I can kick it and ask Ranger if you think I can't." I noticed Tank was eyeballing Lula and she was batting her eyelashes back at him. Oh, good grief. I rolled my eyes at all of them.

Tank said, "Bomber we're already here. Let us give you a ride and get your skip to the police station and get you home. Just then we heard a loud noise behind us. "Whoo..whoo..woooo!" We turned around and Lula's foe, the ostrich was at the fence and he was craning his neck toward her and making a kicking motion with his leg.

"Don't you threaten me fucker! My dinner just blew up and yo' ass would make a whoppin' turkey dinner!" Tank and Lester raised an eyebrow each.

I looked at them. "That's another story", I sighed.

"Okay, let's go." Lester grabbed Elroy and cuffed him in the back of the Explorer. I talked to the police and fire department and made arrangements to have yet another car towed away. All I had to do was call the junkyard and say it was Stephanie Plum and the guy just said, "Where is it?" That's so embarrassing and it never is my fault.

Tank said, "You two are riding all the way in the back and we're rolling all the windows down." I gave him my best Burg glare and flipped him off. Lester laughed.

When the guys finally dropped me off at my apartment, I gave them a little finger wave and headed up to my apartment and the shower I needed badly. When I got out and walked into my room with the towel wrapped around me I stopped. Ranger was there sitting on the end of my bed and he didn't look good.

"Ranger, I have made myself clear to you. Why are you here?"

"I thought I was giving you enough."

"You were giving me enough. Enough to fall in love with you and then when the relationship became uncomfortable for you, you would have broken my heart and pushed me away. You told me very plainly how you felt. I don't get a future with you at all. I'm not going to invest in you when I know you're going to hurt me one day and it will be much worse than what I went through with Joe. I know because you're everything I ever wanted. I have to let you go. I'm strong now, but I might not be later."

"I..the thought of you with another man..is..."

"I'm sorry. I want a future with the sex. Not just sex for however long it's comfortable for you. I want companionship and the love of a man."

He was struggling. "I want…shit…you don't know much about me or my life." I walked in front of him and stood between his legs. "Why don't you tell me what you can?"

He reached for my hands. "My missions are dangerous. I have a government contract and when they call, I have to go. The statistics are never good. I have enemies and I have to be focused. You don't know the things I've had to do. You don't know what I am."

"So basically you're telling me that the government and your enemies run your life and you're letting them take your life from you? I don't buy that and I'm stronger than you think. I don't care what you've done in the defense of your country. I know that you are a good man Ranger. Your entire focus in life is keeping people safe. That's what you do and you do it well." He removed the towel and put his hand to my now clean-shaven mound and then wrapped his arms around me and kissed my belly.

"I don't want to leave a woman or a family behind. I don't want to leave you in danger."

"Bullshit! You're just not comfortable with commitment. I get in plenty of trouble. Do you think I'm scared of your enemies? So your work is dangerous on missions. You think our work everyday is not? What about my day today? How about Miami? You have more than plenty to leave a family in the case of your early demise. If you were killed, it would hurt me and I would grieve, but your family and legacy would go on. Cops get killed, firemen get killed, military men get killed, and regular people get killed every day. Life has to go on and people generally don't just live in fear of what might happen. You're afraid of relationships."

He went to let me go and I pushed him back on the bed and lay next to him, draped my leg over him and held him. I pulled the leather tie out of his hair and ran my fingers through it. "Bullshit. That's Gordy's favorite word. I heard you went to see him."

He snorted, "Gordy?"

"Lula's new nickname for him. He can be awful grouchy. Lula's working on that. " He actually laughed.

"Babe, the man is a Special Forces drill sargeant. Of course he's grouchy. He can be a mean ass motherfucker."

"Well he sure was that the first time we met him. He yelled at us and carried me like a sack of potatoes to his office and gave me the wedgie from hell. Oh yeah, he also said you must have suffered brain damage for wanting to be with me." He guffawed at that.

"I brought you a car. Big Dog won the pool at the cop shop and Cal won Rangeman's." I growled at him. "What? Your guys are doing that now too?" He rolled to his side and pulled me to him for a kiss. "Harmless fun Babe. They don't wish harm for you or your cars. Losing them has just gotten to be a fact of your life." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Can we reach some kind of middle ground here? When I did that dumb deal, I thought I would get up the next day and things would go right back to the way they were. I didn't know it would just make me want you more."

"You know the reason you want me more. The same reason I want you. You just don't want to admit it. It's too late buster, I'm already here." I put my hand to his heart and rubbed there.

He took my face in his hands and gave me a long sweet kiss and there was emotion in the kiss. Then he let me go and got up and walked out of my bedroom and out the door. Jeez, the man is so frustrating. I want to get through to him, but I don't know if I ever will. One side of him is strong and in control and the other is like a little boy that wants to be loved but doesn't think he deserves it. I love the whole man and I'm not afraid of what might or might not happen. There it is. I already love him. Fudge and crappity, crap.

TBC