Wow, what an opening question. Quinn looked nervously at her small daughter who was currently sitting next to her, looking quite upset. Her daughter,just had to ask such a horrible question. Quinn knew she had to answer it carefully or her daughter might under up hating her forever.
'What has Rach or Puck said about it?' Quinn asked, trying to see how much Beth already knew.
'Rachel said that I was given up for adoption because you loved me' Beth replied quietly. 'But I don't understand what she meant when she said that, how was giving me away loving me?' Beth began to cry. All the emotion she had built up after many years of wondering, about why she was adopted, were now coming out.
'Shhh, it's OK honey' Quinn said comfortingly, going into mother mode. Carefully she put an arm round Beth and after noticing that Beth had not rejected her touch, preceded to bring the crying girl towards her and give her a big hug. 'I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you' Quinn whispered into the girl's hair. 'You were so beautiful, tiny but perfectly formed.'
'If you loved me why didn't you keep me?' Beth asked, from within Quinn's comforting hug.
'You have to understand Beth, though however much I loved you, I could not keep you' Quinn continued, telling Beth about her sophomore year at high school. 'I was sixteen when I had you, I was so young and scared. My parents were strict, religious and sought to keep up an image of the perfect American family. An un-wed daughter did not fit into the equation.'
'What happened?' Beth asked curiously, feeling a lot of sympathy for the woman who was sitting next to her. She freed herself from Quinn grasp and sat cross legged facing Quinn, eager to hear more of her story.
'They kicked me out, I was given ten minutes to collect some belongings together and then I had to leave the house' Quinn replied frankly, 'I did not see my mother until you were born and I have not seen my father in years.
'Do you blame me for that?'
'No, I never blamed you, he was a miserable man anyway, he cheated on my Mom, they got a divorce and I haven't seen him since.'
'So you went to live with Dad, right?'
'No, this is the part where I tell you how awful I was in high school, before I had you' Quinn said sadly, taking Beth's hands into her own. 'To put it bluntly, excuse my language, I was a bitch at the beginning of high school. I was the head cheerleader; I dated the star quarter-back and ruled the school, making life hell for people like Rachel.
'But Dad never played quarter-back...you weren't dating Dad?
'No I dated his best friend, Finn'
'The one always in the front of the early thunderclap pictures of the glee club, with a puppy dog expression? The one that Rach said she dated for a bit? The one who apparently, according to Uncle Jesse, dances like a zombie?'
'Yes' Quinn replied laughing 'It was at a party, Finn was not there, I was feeling fat and I got drunk. Next think I know I'm pregnant with Puck, the bad boy of the school's baby'
'I was a mistake?' Beth asked tears welling up in her eyes.
'You were never considered a mistake by me or your father. He loved you from the very moment I told him about you. Having not had a father growing up he was determined to be the best father he could be. To start off with however I was selfish enough to turn him away'
'What did you do?' Beth wondered
'I pretended that the baby was Finn's and he was stupid enough to believe me. I was so caught up in trying to be perfect and I was so scared, I did not see how much I was hurting your father' Quinn replied sadly, staring down at her hands.
Beth jerked her hands away from her biological mother's in anger. 'How could you do that?' she asked incredulously.
'I know I was wrong, but like I said I was scared. Back then I did not know that much about Puck, only that he was, I quote 'Badass' and Jewish. I really though Finn would make a better father. Then as we got closer to our first sectionals performance, Rach became for suspicious about the baby's real father and announced her findings to Finn. Rach had a thing for Finn back then. Anyway Puck and Finn fought, Finn quit glee club and I was homeless again.' Quinn paused for a moment before carrying on. 'I moved in with your father after that, he was so sweet and I felt awful for treating him so badly before. We tried to make it work, being together, but at the time he was quite a ladies' man and besides you there was no real chemistry between us. I moved out a couple of weeks before you were born.'
'How come?'
'Puck and I were getting on each other's nerves and we fought a lot also I don't think Mrs Puckerman did not like me that much. Then I moved in with Mercedes.'
'Rach's friend, who is a fashion photographer and has a very powerful voice?'
'Yeah, she was lovely to me. Anyway during all of this was happening; Rachel was meeting her mother for the first time.'
'Rachel told me about Mom's plot to meet her and how she and Uncle Jesse dated for a couple of months in High school'
Quinn tried not to wince at Beth calling someone else Mom. It was strange to think that this was the first real conversation she had ever had with her eldest child. 'Anyway we went to Regionals, lost to the team Shelby was coaching (Quinn could not bring herself to say your Mom) and my water broke' Quinn then paused and took Beth's hands back into her own. She stared into her daughter's eyes, eyes which were so like her father's and continued. 'After a short labour, a spectacularly beautiful baby girl was born. You opened your tiny little mouth and gave a high pitched scream, alerting the members of the Glee club who were waiting outside that you had triumphantly entered the world'.
'At that moment I so desperately wanted to keep you' she continued as tears welled up in her eyes 'but I knew Puck and I could never raise a child together. We are great friends now, but back then we went from laughing to screaming at each other very quickly. When Shelby expressed and interest in adopting you, I knew she was the perfect choice. She would love you as much as I loved you and she could give you a happy childhood. Please say you understand why I gave you away? I was giving you a better home and a better chance in life' Quinn looked into her daughter's eyes once again, searching their depths to find an answer.
Beth blinked and looked into her mother's eyes. She thought about what her mother had just told her and even though she still felt some anger she now understood why. She thought back on all the happy times she had had with her Mom-her adopted Mom. Shelby had loved her so much and had given her so many opportunities, now thinking about it, she doubted she have had the same if she had been raised by Quinn.
'I understand' Beth said finally.
Quinn breathed out the breath her had been subconsciously holding, waiting for her daughter's answer. 'I just want you to know I never forgot about you, you know' she said pulling Beth into a hug. 'I've got ten year's worth of birthday and Christmas presents in a cupboard at home. I bought them just in case I saw you and to remember you. You are always near my heart Beth, you made me a better person, I was less of a bitch and started to make amends for the hurt I had caused in the past.'
Quinn then reached to her necklace which was around her neck. She no longer wore her silver cross, but in its place was a small heart shaped locket. Carefully she opened it and showed Beth the pictures it contained. Next to the one of Sam holding a small blond haired girl, Beth assumed to be Aimee, was a fuzzy picture of a small baby, fast asleep.
'It's the only picture I had of you, taken from Mercedes' camera phone, a couple of hours after you were born' Quinn said before closing the locket and tucking in back down her shirt. 'Now you are back I can get a better one.'
'Thank you for talking to me' Beth said 'I know I call Dad, Dad but I just don't feel comfortable with calling you Mom...'
'I understand honey' Quinn said 'I don't want to take Shelby's place in your life, but if you want to, I would like to be in it.'
'I'd like that' Beth replied smiling
'I'll be almost like your godmother, someone you can escape to when Rachel's craziness finally gets to you!' Quinn suggested hopefully
'That sounds good, Thanks Aunty Quinn!'
'Aunty Quinn, I like the sound of that!' Quinn replied smiling at her daughter, as she drew her into another big hug. She knew, call it mother's intuition, that even though she had just been reunited with her daughter, they would have a good relationship.
So what do you think? This was a hard chapter to write because all the other chapters were building up to this moment so I hope it is OK!
Thanks for all the reviews and please review this chapter!
~Cherry :D
