Chapter 8 – All that's left

He collapsed on the cold stoned ground. It was ruins now, this place - where he had fought Itachi. He could remember every moment, every second of it.

He had been running for days. From the Fire country, all the way to the North, and now, near the former Akatsuki base, to the ground that had seen battle with his brother. The whole area was desolate. He couldn't feel any shinobi's chakra for miles. So he crawled to the wall, at the very same place Itachi had spoken his last words to him. He sat and leaned on it, looking at the ruins around him with sad and desperate dark eyes. Then he closed them, and tilted his head back. The cold wind was rough yet somehow appeasing.

Sasuke was too exhausted to care about the cold. He was already in a half-dream state. The genjutsu his brother had casted on him through Naruto was still playing, and replaying in his mind. The memories were mixing with reality. But of course he knew all too well which were true.

His brother had wanted him to know what it was to care about a village, precious friends, a home… He had wanted him to know how it felt to be able to protect said village, and to have the wish to protect it, no matter what…

At the same time, it had had the effect of making him understand Naruto. Sasuke had no idea if Itachi had planned that. Knowing him, probably, Sasuke thought, a smile curling around his lips. Itachi had always seen through everything, every possibility…

And now, despite the rage, the hatred, the frustration and bitterness that were in his heart – that hadn't changed much – he couldn't bring himself to make plans of destroying Konoha. He simply wouldn't do it, because if the feeling that he belonged in Konoha had been way too faint to change anything before, now, because of Itachi's genjutsu, it was much stronger. And also, he didn't want to kill Naruto…

Funny how, in the different versions, they were always complete opposites. And yet, during the past few days, they had somehow been closer than ever before, finally understanding each other…

"Nii-san," Sasuke whispered, his eyes still closed, and a little smile lingering on his lips, "You played tricks on me 'til the very end… Thank you."

xxx

Naruto was running through the endless forests at the North of the Fire country, yet his current state of mind was way too dark to possibly make inner jokes about that. He simply hadn't been able to follow Kakashi's advice to stay at the Leaf for now. They didn't need him back there at the moment. His team had just finished an important mission after all, and they had a few days off. Kakashi had warned him not to leave, and Sakura and Sai had been worried for him, but Naruto hadn't listened to them. He wanted to find Sasuke, and he had a pretty good idea where he had gone.

Sasuke had always been such an intense, passionate person. Even though when they were younger, he had appeared as an emotionless guy, it was the opposite. Sasuke had always been consumed by his emotions, Naruto knew that now. He understood that. And he wanted to help him. He just needed to.

This brought back a memory for Naruto. Almost a year ago now, with his friends they had been searching for Sasuke in this area. They had almost found him on time. But Madara had been faster. After Sasuke's battle with his brother, the masked man had been the one to rescue him. Naruto had often wondered… What if he had been the one to find Sasuke back then? But now he knew that it was pointless. Sasuke would have probably been a ghost of himself. He would have been bitter, with no purpose, never knowing the truth. This was Naruto's conclusion, anyway, and he didn't want to think about the past anymore.

And he also wanted Sasuke to stop thinking about the past – which would be a much bigger challenge. But he had to try.

It had started raining. The cold wind combined to the rain was making Naruto shiver. He was also very tired; as soon as they had arrived to Konoha, he had taken his decision to go after Sasuke. He hadn't stopped running since then. But he had at least stopped at his apartment to bring some water and food.

It was night when he found him. His guess had been right. Sasuke was lying on the ground against the ruins of a stoned wall, curled up on his side. His face was buried in his arms, as if to protect it from the rain and cold. His raven hair and thin black clothes were completely soaked.

Naruto walked up to him carefully. He sat beside him. Sasuke didn't move. He put his hand on his shoulder, and noticed that he was trembling. He rolled him on his back.

"Sasuke?" He called.

The raven frowned slightly, and opened his eyes. He sat up, glancing around him, then back at Naruto.

"You found me." He said simply.

"Of course I found you, you're kinda predictable you know that?" Naruto made a little smile.

Sasuke didn't reply. But in his onyx eyes Naruto could see the faintest glint of amusement as he held his gaze. Well, that was better than nothing.

"Do you know if we can find a shelter around here?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah…"

Sasuke got up, but seemed to be a little bit too weak to walk on his own. Naruto hesitantly took his hand, and seeing that he wasn't protesting, put his arm around his shoulders. Sasuke led them to the entrance of the cave, where Naruto noticed an Uchiha crest imprinted on the wall. He frowned, but didn't comment.

He was still supporting Sasuke's weight as they walked. They stopped at the back of the large room, to lean on the wall. They sat and Naruto let go of his arm. Instead he took out a bottle of water from his backpack and handed it to Sasuke.

The raven drank it without a word. Naruto decided to speak first. He didn't really know what to say, but the silence was just getting too heavy.

"So…" he hesitated, "should we fight or…?"

Sasuke glanced away. He folded a leg under him and let out a shaky sigh. When he turned back to look at Naruto, he looked somehow… shy. The blond's eyes widened, he hadn't expected this.

"Naruto… I don't want to fight you."

He had to repress a silly grin. But he did make a little smile. "Can you say that again? It just… felt kinda good to hear, you know?"

"…Idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry for being an idiot and all but… I didn't exactly know what to expect when I decided to go after you. So it's nice to know you don't want to kill me."

Sasuke glanced away again, and shook his head slightly. "It wasn't… I didn't want to kill you. I wanted… revenge."

"Yeah I know that," Naruto said on a serious tone. "But what do you want now?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "I'm not gonna destroy your village, but, I'm not going back with you either."

"Why not?" Naruto couldn't help but ask sadly, even though he already knew the answer.

"Do you seriously think I'd last one single day in jail?"

"Maybe you'll get out sooner than you think!" Naruto argued. "Your friends – Suigetsu, Karin, Jugo – they're out now."

Sasuke glanced at him, his eyes dark and sad.

"And even then? What do I do? Wander around happily in Konoha? Like nothing happened?"

Naruto sighed. "I guess… you have a point."

"I'll just hide… for now, anyway, 'til I figure it out…"

"Where?" He asked, concerned.

"I don't know."

Naruto leaned his head back against the wall, sighing heavily.

"What is it?" Sasuke glanced at him sideways.

"Nothing I… was kinda hoping you'd tell me, so that at least I know where to find you if…"

"If?" The raven encouraged him.

"I don't know, if I want to see you…" Naruto finished in a little voice.

Sasuke's expression softened, but then he glanced away. "It's better if you don't know. That way, if they interrogate you back at the Leaf, you don't have to lie."

"What makes you think I would've lied?"

Sasuke smirked. "You knew I was here, yet you didn't tell them and came alone."

"Right," Naruto chuckled.

There was a silence, in which only the sound of the pouring rain outside could be heard.

"I guess," the blond eventually said, "I don't think you deserve to go to jail."

"Of course I do," Sasuke immediately replied, still glancing away at anything but Naruto's eyes, "And you know it. Saying that I of all people don't deserve to go to jail would make you selfish. I mean, tons of people are behind bars for much less than all I did so…"

"Then I guess I'm selfish."

This time Sasuke turned his head and their eyes met. The raven's expression was unreadable. But the moment was so intense that Naruto felt like he could lose himself in those onyx eyes. Their faces were close; Naruto could see the details of his perfect lips, his delicate nose, his pale skin, his long black eyelashes…

There it was again, the same feeling, the same warmth in his gut he had experienced at the bath. He was attracted to Sasuke, even if he was fully aware that he wasn't a girl.

Suddenly Sasuke shifted, and went to simply lie down on the cold ground, folding his arm under his head.

"I'm gonna stay here for the rest of the night… You?" He asked in a careful voice, as if he hoped Naruto would stay but didn't want to admit it.

"Yeah," the blond simply said.

He unzipped his backpack and took out his sleeping bag. He laid it down a couple feet away from Sasuke, and crawled inside it for warmth. He took pity of Sasuke, who was shivering in his light clothes. So he took off his jacket and threw it at him. The raven caught it, sat up to put it on and then lay down again, curled up on his side and facing Naruto.

"Thank you." He said.

"No problem." Naruto smiled. "You know, I really wish I could take a picture of you wearing that."

Sasuke chuckled and closed his eyes. "Shut up, idiot."

Naruto didn't reply. He kept his eyes open, unable to sleep. He knew Sasuke wasn't sleeping yet, either. He still looked like he was cold. He was pulling the orange jacket tighter around his thin body, and almost burying his face into it, as if he wanted to breathe in its scent – Naruto's scent. Somehow just the simple fact that Sasuke was doing this warmed Naruto's heart.

After a few minutes Sasuke opened his eyes. He frowned as he looked back at Naruto.

"Have you been staring at me this whole time?"

"No," he lied.

"Cause that would be kinda creepy."

"I just can't sleep, okay?" Naruto exclaimed defensively.

Sasuke made a little sad smile. "Yeah me neither. It feels weird to be here…"

Naruto stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

"You have no idea," Sasuke said slowly, "how good of an actor Itachi was. Right here, at this very place, he made me believe he wanted to steal my eyes, and then leave me to die. And I…" he chuckled, but it came out more like a sob, and a single tear rolled down his eye. "…I fucking believed him," he finished in a whisper.

There was a silence, and then Sasuke swallowed hard, took a few deep breaths and calmed himself a little.

"Not once I thought," he continued in a low voice, eyes still locked with Naruto's, "that the Itachi I knew, and loved, would never have done all that of his own free will, not once I thought that there must be some greater force involved…"

He wiped his tears in frustration. Naruto stayed silent, he knew Sasuke just needed someone to listen.

"And the most fucked up thing is," he whispered, "he's still trying to protect me, even after his death. He knew that there was a possibility Madara would find me, and that I would go crazy with frustration and anger. He even gave you some of his chakra," he shook his head in disbelief, a sad smile lingering on his lips, "and showed me this genjutsu… You know why I changed my mind about defeating you, and then Konoha?"

Naruto parted his lips, but no sound came out. So he just shook his head, holding his breath.

"Because in the genjutsu, I end up killing you," Sasuke whispered, frowning, "but it's like the reversed roles don't matter anymore. In the end I'm just me, and you're you, and we're fighting… And you know what your last words were?"

"….What?" Naruto whispered.

"In the end, you're the hero who killed me."

Naruto frowned. "That's… what you once told me. You can either be killed by me," he quoted, "or become the hero who killed me."

"Yes," Sasuke nodded slightly, "and it's also what Itachi wanted me to be. The hero who killed him. Naruto… I think, without even being really conscious of it, I wanted to die by your hand, just like Itachi wanted to die by mine…" he finished in a strangled whisper.

Naruto sighed shakily, trying to contain his repressed emotions, but it wasn't easy. He wanted to be strong for Sasuke, though. He got out of his sleeping bag and went to sit beside him, his legs folded under him. Carefully he reached with his hand to brush the raven bangs away from his face, and then he wiped his tears softly with his thumb. Sasuke looked up at him with big dark eyes, searching his own blue orbs for answers. Answers to what, Naruto wasn't really sure, but he spoke anyway.

"I guess, if we finally understand each other, there's no point in fighting anymore," he whispered. "Don't you think, Sasuke?"

Slowly, the raven sat up and leaned closer. Naruto held his breath as their faces got dangerously close. Sasuke closed his eyes, and Naruto could tell he was also holding his breath. Their lips touched, but so slightly that Naruto wasn't even sure if he had imagined it. But then Sasuke moved a little bit closer and pressed his lips against Naruto's. The latter closed his eyes, and kissed back. He had no idea what he was doing, but it felt so damn good that he didn't want it to stop. He just moved his lips against Sasuke's, caressing, nibbling, licking…

Sasuke pulled away. Naruto's eyes snapped open and met shocked onyx ones.

"Sorry," the blond breathed, thinking that maybe he had done something wrong with his tongue.

"N-No you just surprised me," Sasuke stuttered, a light shade of pink covering his cheeks.

At that moment, Naruto decided that embarrassed Sasuke was the cutest thing in the whole world.

Naruto smirked, leaned closer and kissed him again. He placed his left arm around Sasuke's waist, flushing their bodies together. His right hand took place firmly in Sasuke's soft raven hair. This time, when he tried to enter Sasuke's mouth with his tongue, the latter didn't pull away. Instead he parted his lips, and welcomed him with his own tongue. It was a little clumsy at first, but it was their first kiss after all. Well, Naruto supposed…

When they pulled away, panting a little, Naruto stared at Sasuke questioningly.

"What?" he asked.

"Did you ever…" Naruto hesitated, "do this… before?"

An amused glint flashed in Sasuke's eyes. "Well, when I was twelve, there was this certain idiot…"

"That doesn't count!" Naruto exclaimed, annoyed. "I mean, with someone else?"

"No," Sasuke said simply.

"Ever?"

"Well," Sasuke's expression became thoughtful, "there was this one time, with Orochimaru…"

Naruto's blue eyes widened in pure horror and he moved back. Sasuke burst out laughing and moved closer.

"I'm just fucking with you, Naruto!"

"…I think I'm scarred for life now. I really didn't want to have that mental image."

"Oh, sorry I guess." Sasuke said but a little amused smile lingered on his lips.

Pale hands timidly reached to take Naruto's hands. He kissed him again, and when he pulled away it was his turn to glance at Naruto questioningly.

"What about you? Did you ever…?"

"Oh, no," Naruto shook his head.

"Not even that Hinata girl?"

"You knew she liked me?" Naruto frowned.

"Yeah everyone knew she wasn't exactly subtle about it." Sasuke replied.

"Oh," Naruto blushed and glanced away. "I didn't know until she told me, but no, not even her. Just you…"

In a silent agreement they lay on Naruto's sleeping bag in each other's arms. It felt a little bit weird for Naruto to be like this, his arm firmly around Sasuke's waist, their bodies touching. But also, it felt good, it felt… so right.

"…Naruto?" Sasuke suddenly whispered.

"Yeah?"

"…I'm sorry."

Naruto frowned and pulled him even closer. He kissed his soft hair lightly.

"It's okay…"

xxx

In the morning, when Naruto woke up, he was alone. He sat and hugged his knees, letting a few tears roll down his cheeks. He felt extremely lonely. And it was strange, really, because he was used to being without Sasuke. But it seemed as if each time he left him, it was even worst than the last.

But later, when he put his orange jacket back on, he frowned when he found a little note written on a crippled paper in the inside pocket.

I'll never be far. You're all I have left.

Naruto closed his eyes, and the tears kept falling, but he was smiling.