Chapter 8
Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricanes set in motion…yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now…come down
Let the rain come down
~Into the Ocean- Blue October
I felt like I was walking towards my death.
Well not really, but it certainly felt that way.
Waiting outside that dreaded wooden and metal door was agonizing. Waiting alone in the room beforehand was agitating enough but this was really settling my nerves on high.
"Come on Bella dear, I know you're outside that door." Esme's voice tried to reassure, but all it did was make me even sicker to my stomach.
Seeing that I might as well just get it over with, I sighed and turned the doorknob.
The first thing I noticed about the room was that it seemed to be some type of study. Various books lined the walls and the smell of old paper permeated the room. The carpet was a deep velvet color with hints of the hardwood floor peeking through. There was large mahogany table positioned in the center of the room with a small Victorian-esque candle holder in the center.
It took me all of two seconds to notice those things but about 10 or 12 to notice the ten bodies positioned across the room sitting in a set of chairs in some form of a semi-circle.
A lone chair was positioned in front of them and Alice who had seemed to appear out of thin air gestured for me to take a seat before skipping, yes skipping back over to her seat between my uncle and the man named Emmett. I recognized the faces that were introduced earlier but noticed they were two or three that I didn't recognize.
This made me squirm even more.
Carlisle spoke up first.
"Isabella…"
"Bella." I huffed, rolling my eyes and saw that Phil was giving me the stink eye.
Carlisle cleared his throat and started again.
"Bella, you know why you're here."
"Yes and against my will." I sighed taking another look over at my uncle.
"Again, we will discuss that at a later time, but we are here to talk about your treatment."
"Treatment that is completely unnecessary."
"Bella if you would please to not interrupt me." Carlisle asked calmly. I nodded my head.
"As you know of course we considered you as one of our candidates beforehand due to the circumstances of your parent deaths."
"You know nothing of my parent's deaths."
"You're right, only what we were told by your uncle and newspaper clippings, but then again, you can never trust everything you read, but I digress. Bella we are not here to fight with you and you know it."
"You knew of our deal and since we thought we were all on the same page we let you go. But due to recent events we knew you needed treatment immediately."
"Yes, as Carlisle was saying you are here for treatment under our care. As I mentioned earlier there are a few who will go through the program with each of us independently…" Esme startled.
"And let me guess, I'm one of those people." I retorted back sarcastically.
"You know rudeness won't get you anywhere." Angry bastard muttered.
"Like I asked for your opinion." I growled.
"Bella…" Uncle Phil warned.
"Sorry." I huffed crossing my arms awkwardly since the thick cast pretty much harbored any movement I tried to do.
"As I was saying, you will go through various sessions through all of us, except your uncle for personal reasons of course, although we have the right to tell him any information that might be deemed of importance to yourself as he is your legal guardian." Esme said and I nodded my head.
"Carlisle of course is a licensed physician and me and a few of my other staff have our credentials as licensed psychiatrists."
"Usually, the process would be longer to get you started and incorporated into our program, but due to your latest attempt…" I cut her off right there.
"Attempt at what?" I barked out. Esme startled for a second.
"Of um, killing yourself." Alice whispered from the corner of the room. I let out a laugh that startled every one of the room.
'Is that what this is about? Doc, I wasn't trying to kill myself." I continued to laugh and I admit I sounded a bit like a madwoman.
"Oh is that right? Then please explain what it what it was then?" The stupid bastard asked crossing his arms so that the tattoos looked even more prominent against his pale skin.
"Not what everyone thinks I was doing apparently? Trust me, if I wanted to kill myself, I would have done it the night I found my parents or someplace where I knew I wouldn't be found. I just… I just wanted a release that's all and it got out of hand." I replied, and I noticed Carlisle scribble a few things down on a notepad.
"Oh perfect, Doc is writing down my so called problems."
"You do have a problem Bella, that's why we are here to help." Rosalie added.
"Yeah right."
"And us finding you in a pool of your own blood isn't a problem?" Bastard asked.
"Like I said previously, I wasn't trying to kill myself." I sighed.
"Yeah right, that's what they all say…wait no they don't because many don't often get a second chance and you're just being stubborn." He growled and I noticed the bright green of his eyes turn to a dark jade color.
"You don't know anything about me!" I screamed.
"Masen! Bella! Stop it." The big burly one whose name I think was Emmett barked out.
I stood from my seat.
"Bella please sit back down." Esme said, but I shook my head.
"Look I don't care what you do with me, it's not like I have a choice in the matter anyway, so why bother?" I sighed dejectedly and walked towards the door.
"Of course take the easy way out." His voice echoed as I exited.
If only he knew.
"If I really wanted the easy way out, I would have died that night alongside my parents and I wouldn't be suffering through this hell with you." I hollered back.
…
You okay over there?"
I look up startled to see it was the little blonde hair girl from earlier.
"Uh yeah, I'm fine." I looked down at the plate of untouched food I had gotten. Turkey and ham finger sandwiches, a handful of corn chips and a few red grapes and a bottle of water.
I really wasn't hungry but they had all but practically shoved us all towards the table of food. All the other kids were sitting around in small groups with a few off to themselves kinda like I was just a few minutes earlier.
I looked up to see Samantha still standing there awkwardly with a plate of food in her hand. She nervously bit her lips as she looked around the room looking like she was on the verge of a panic attack.
I quickly grabbed her attention and gestured for her to take a seat beside me to which she gave me a relived smile. She settled herself a few inches away from me and began picking at her own plate. We both said nothing, welcoming the silence as we both sat there.
I really just wanted to go home. My arm was beginning to itch from the cast and all I desperately wanted to do was just go home and fall asleep. I wanted to get away from this extremely exhausting day and the sad part was that it wasn't even twelve yet.
Samantha and I sat there for a few more minutes before Esme and the others came back into the room. They situated themselves in a semi-circle as they stood with Esme situated slightly more in front as she held a grey clipboard in her hands.
"Okay now that some of you have finished eating I can begin separating you all to go with your selected mentor for a few minutes to brief about their schedules, etc."
"Okay, I'm going to do the singles first. First off with Emmett…" I zoned out as she continued down the line and they all disappeared in separate directions.
It took me a few seconds to realize that the room had all but cleared out and there were only six others left in the room besides myself.
One of the six included Samantha who was looking around the room nervously. In the far corner there was a boy who was fidgeting around nervously. His hair was shaved on both sides and fell over his dark blue eyes and one of his arms was adorned with a sleeve of tattoos.
A couple of feet away was another girl with dark hair. Her skin was the color of chocolate and from the look on her face, seemed to be wishing she was anywhere but here. She was dressed in a denim skirt with tights and a purple blouse with high heeled boots.
To the left of her was another guy around our age in a pair of jeans and a multicolored plaid shirt. He had bright blue eyes and seemed to be looking over in my direction with a few curious glances and beside him was another girl with short cropped blonde hair and grey eyes.
I looked back over at Samantha who was trying to hide herself behind the curtain of her blonde hair as she hunched her shoulders and leaned forward.
Situated behind us was a tall lanky boy who appeared to be of Native American descent who was seemingly trying to wear hole in the floor as he scuffed his hands against it roughly.
No one said anything, but it didn't take a genius to realize that the seven of us would be all together in this hell hole.
We sat there in silence for another twenty minutes. Everyone seemed to be off in their own world and it was only then after we heard the multiple footfalls of people leaving out the back door that I knew it was our turn to be spoken to. Ten more agonizing minutes later they all came back into the room.
For some reason my eyes were immediately drawn to the stupid green eyed bastard who was eying me with an amused grin. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest agitatedly.
"So I guess you all have figured out that you are the group that gets to have the pleasure of having all of our mentors assist you." Esme grinned.
"You will all meet with them individually on certain days of the week as well as in a group on Sundays for our weekly activity. One of my staff will be your main mentor who you report to everyday for an hour, while you spend your other allotted time with your particular mentor for the day." No one said anything so she continued.
"How about we introduce ourselves and explain why we are here huh?" No one said anything.
"A volunteer perhaps?" Esme pushed.
One of the boys sighed and began speaking. It was the boy with sleeve of tattoos on his arm.
"Uh I'm Levi, I'm nineteen and I'm here because I'm a recovering drug addict and about six months ago I tried to OD on some heroin. My rents freaked out and here I am." He replied nonchalantly.
Esme gestured for the dark haired girl to go next.
"I'm Jane Meyers, I'm sixteen. I got into some trouble back home with a boyfriend of mine…" she rolled her dark brown eyes. "And it got a little tough so I took some of my mom's oxycodone and yeah…. I live with my aunt and she thought this was best." She drew off as she began fidgeting with her French tipped nails.
The other boy in the corner followed her. "Uh my name is Felix, I'm sixteen as well and my dad used to beat my mother and me. I survived and she didn't. I need help sorting things out. Ms. Esme is actually why I'm here. The girl beside him went next.
"I'm Charlotte, but everyone calls me Charlie. I'm seventeen and I'm battling an eating disorder. I actually brought myself here." I studied her closely. At first glance you wouldn't think anything was wrong, considering her corn silk blonde hair, high cheekbones and piercing grey eyes. But her clothes told a completely different story. They were baggy, extremely baggy considering she seemed to be my height if not a couple of inches taller.
The boy who was wearing his hands against the floor suddenly spoke up in a rushed tone. "I'm Brady, uh I'm fifteen. I got into some stuff on the Res and I'm here." He breathed and continued to rub his hands against the floor.
Samantha spoke up next. "Uh my name's Samantha Stewart, I'm fourteen years old. My mom was into a lot of sketchy things and that included quite a few men. A few of those men used to sneak into my room and yeah, I really don't want to talk about it." She shivered and looked down at her lap, before turning her head over to me expectedly.
I noticed everyone's attention point over to me.
"Name's Bella, uh Bella Swan. I just turned seventeen a couple of months ago and I could really tell you I want to be here but that'll be a lie and that's about it." I mumbled.
"You're supposed to explain why you are here, not how you feel about being here." Jane muttered under her breath
I rolled my eyes. "I don't have to do anything." I growled back.
"Bella." Phil sighed, giving me a pointed look.
"Fine. Both my parents died and I just so happened to witness their deaths, alright. The pain in my but over there that's currently glaring at me happens to be my uncle and he forced me here." I huffed.
"Okay then, now that we are done with introductions, I'm going to assign you your primary mentors alright." Esme grinned; grabbing a clipboard from the red haired woman whose name I found out was Maggie.
"To start us all off. Levi, you will be mentored with Jasper." Jasper moved from behind Esme and walked over to stand beside him.
Following the same manner, they all began to stand by their respective mentee with Emmett and Felix, Sasha and Jane, Samantha and Rosalie, Brady with Alice, Charlotte with James, and low and behold I got stuck with the stupid green eyed bastard.
"Yay!" I huffed sarcastically. He waved his fingers at me dismissively.
"Get over yourself. You're not a piece of cake either." He growled.
Ignoring the obvious tension between the two of us, Esme continued. "I'm going to give you guys a couple of minutes to get acquainted where you guys can work and agree on a schedule and then you'll be free to go. With a final glance, she along with Uncle Phil and Carlisle strolled out the room.
I continued to look at the ground, blankly ignoring the looming shadow behind me. I heard him grumble a quick follow me before strutting out the room. I sighed and picked myself of the ground to follow after him.
This was going to be fun.
Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove that I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
Set front row in my need to fall
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Thoughts? Leave it in a Review.
After a general consensus from you reviwers the outtake for last chapter will be posted, although I want to wait a couple of chapters before posting because it will make more sense later on.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try and not to make the gap between updates so long.
xoxo Sylvia Cullen
