Chapter 9 - Old Habits die Hard
A/N Mon français est mauvais. :)) My english as well... I am sorry. Anyhow... I know that the spirits don't have names and things like that... but it felt much more natural than saying the Spirit of Fate and Shit to simply name them no? I hope you like the chapter and yes Houri is important... so if you don't like my OC... I will be a sad cookie.
"Damn my father! Wait... he is one of the damned already..." With a lot of effort he managed to get up, still leaned by the stone. His hand tangling through his hair as he tried to stop the bleeding of his eye.
Hawke could only see the ocean of gold tainted with blood as Houri tried only to breathe.
"Anders... I am fine..."She pushed the mage a little giving him a reassuring smile. The girl started walking towards the wounded man only to see Fenris doing the same thing. The elf got to Houri first, pushing him in to the rough surface of the rock. A little drop of blood slipped down the man's cheek as he was turned around to face Fenris.
"What are you?"Heard Hawke as she tried to make her way as fast as she could towards the two men.
Houri smirked releasing a little chuckle revealing his bloody teeth. The blood was coming from his eye and from the small glow of his skin were the scar opened also releasing some kind of a bluish smoke.
"None of your business, mon ami!" Fenris simply pushed him again and the girl could see clearly how Houri was biting down his lip to hide the pain he felt.
"Fenris!" Hawke grabbed his shoulder and pushed him brutally away... Fact that wasn't overlooked by the elf.
"Can't you see Hawke... he is no elf, he is no human... dwarf can't even be put it in the equation!"
"SO WHAT?" She pushed him once again but this time Fenris didn't even flinch. "Are you alright, Houri?" The man sighed but with a smiled answered.
" Saved by my chérie... For now, speak with your friend... I will be fine... and about what I am, Fenris, I am an assassin send by King Alistair to help your idiotic ass. " Fenris made a quick push of his body as if he was about to hit the poor man if it wasn't for Hawke to stop him. Houri left sitting next to Merrill next to the fireplace.
"What happened to you Fenris!? he saved us!"
"He said it himself... he knows Makhai! Your damned demon."
"My demon!?"
"YES YOURS! Whose else's... he is in your soul."
"That is what IT said?"
"He...it said despair is in your very soul. It is in you... it's you... you are an... " Fenris growled in exasperation as he was desperately ravaging his mind for word.
"Say it..."
"AN ABOMINATION!"
"Yes... I am... and you have to deal with it Fenris!"
"Deal with it Hawke? Is this some kind of a twisted joke!? Deal with it?" Her hand came to his jaw and he instantly relaxed. "Hawke... I can't..."
"You can't what?" His brilliant green eyes pierced her soul as she realized what he meant. "Fenris..."
"Just... I need some time to think." His hand came on her waist as he pressed his forehead to hers.
"I get it Fenris... You don't want to be with an abomination." Aisa pushed him once again but this time his hand hooked around her wrist, his metal claws painfully gripping her hand.
"It is not like that Hawke!" Hawke started talking as she pulled on her arm even if at some point blood started dripping.
"I get it Fenris... but remember this... I choose you when you were a slave, I choose you when you were an elf... AND I never... not even once wished for you to be human..." Fenris finnaly released her. The girl watched at him expectantly while taking care of the few scars. "I see how it is... You deserve to be threated as an equal... but I am a pathetic mage."
"Hawke... It is not true!" He pushed her into the rock behind. "It is not that you are an abomination... it is the fact that... the demon is in your head. In your soul! Can't you see it... that man... he did something... something I couldn't. And he brought you back... my Hawke... not that woman plagued by despair." Aisa's eyes widened.
"What do you mean?" His grip eased as his right hand came to her cheek, playing with one of her strands of hair.
"Your eyes regained their determination, their spark of hope... your face much more cheerful... beautiful... there are no more tears... Your lips don't shake anymore; you stay straight no more hunched shoulder... your entire posture emanating superiority, not defeat... I can see these small changes when they happened almost instantly, Hawke."
"Fenris..."
"I don't know... maybe the demon is changing you... plaguing you with his despair?"
"And what is there to think Fenris... I will still be an abomination! Under the same demon's control! WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT?!" With one hand she moved him aside. Fenris watched her leave without knowing what to say. At least the swaying hips are back.
"NO! Don't use magic on me!"
"It is a simple healing spell."
"Any spell fucks up on me... and my eyes are important..."
"At least let me look at them!"
"Merci but no..."
"This happens often?"
"Only when I use my magic." Now Hawke could see the group clearly. Anders was next to Houri, Toby trying to dig something and Merrill with Darrian rearranging the tent.
"Hello." Hawke didn't really knew what to talk... just 5 minutes ago she was an abomination ready to kill everyone, she could see Darrian sending her killing glares, Merrill was blind and Anders worried as always. She sat next to the mage taking her mabari in her arms.
"Hey little Toby, here is a little threat."
"Hawke? You can't really pretend nothing happened." Darrian intervened.
"Wouldn't it be perfect if we could? What do you want me to do?"
"I know I am not really some friend or something... but..."
"I am good. Don't worry." The elf rolled his eyes and poked the fire with a little stick in annoyance. Being an elf taught him not to ask too many questions... in special to a human... so he remained thoughtfully and pretty much bugged by Hawke.
They stayed in silence next to the fire until Merrill said something about being hungry. It was quite a feast when they realized the carriage had some supplies...
"Maker I needed this!"
"What did you find Anders?" The man came with a box with at least nine bottles of wine.
"Andraste be praised! Let's get drunk people!"
Soon, besides Houri, all of them were a bit taken by the alcohol. Hawke and Anders started singing some Ferelden song, their hands around each other's shoulder, Anders with a bottle in his hand, moving on the rhythm of their drunken song. Merrill was clapping her hands trying to sing along and Darrian with a hand around her waist accompanied her. Houri was eating occasionally laughing with the group and Fenris leaned by a tree a bit farther from them with a bottle of wine almost empty by him.
"Well... our darling King really knows what to carry around." Anders said with a slurred voice almost unheard because Hawke was still singing/yelling.
"I'm trying to walk a straight line/ On sour mash and cheap wine/ Join me for a drink BOYS... Come one Anders! WE'RE GONNA MAKE A BIG NOISE." They both started laughing as they fell on their back with the last word sang.
"Damn it Hawke you really don't know how to sing." He took another sip only to realize gravity brought more of the liquid than he planned.
"You are not the best either." Taking a big mouth of wine Anders choked on the liquid winning a scowl and an uncontrollable laugh from the girl and from the group. After he got a big slap over his back he regained his senses (or what was left of them) and started again to sing being followed by the girl.
"Gonna roll around/ Gonna hit the ground..."
"Come on Merrill you know the lyrics here!"
Merrill and Darrian added their voice as well to the slurred existent ones... Hawke and Anders still on the ground sang as loud as they could.
"Taaaaake another sw-sw-swiiiing/ Haaaave another dr-dr-driiiink/ Gonna Drink it dry!/ Gonna get me hiiiii-hi-high!/ Come on ALLLLL/ MAKE SOME NOoooiiiISE!"
With a little smile on his face Houri commented at the end of the song. "Ferelden."
"Orla-lai- Orlaisi-si... OrlaisiANS." pointed out Hawke while leaving the ground. Houri stared at her face which got a bit frustrated for not being able to say the word properly, her face twisting some more with each letter gone wrong. "OramIwrong?" Now in her own anger for not being able to speak, the words tumbled down her lips in an unbelievable rush.
"Pas du tout."
"I will understand that as no... or was it a yes... damn orleasian and their language."
"You are not wrong... I was born and raised in Orlais."
"That is something." Houri crooked an eyebrow at her. "I wasn't wrong for a change..." Yet again she started laughing, the man realized just how drunk the woman is. "But anyhow... tell us how is to be a pain in the arse."
The man laughed at her statement knowing full well how the Orlesians are seen most of the times.
"An answer for an answer."
"Ohh a game!"
"And it is your turn. How did you make a pact with Makhai?" All the noise just now... ended, everyone being silent and looking at Hawke. She grabbed a bottle of wine and took a sip.
"You Orlaisians are a real pain in the ass! Keep your secrets 'cuz mine you won't touch." She didn't sound drunk anymore she actually had a death serious tone.
Hawke obviously woke up with the worse hangover. "Damn it!" She whispered as she got up from her bed roll. As she was massaging her forehead, working her magic in the process she could hear from outside.
"Fenris are you sure you are fine... you didn't sleep the whole night..."
"I am perfectly fine... Do not act as if you are worried witch."
"At least have some breakfast." Hawke could already imagine the characteristic Fenris growl scaring Merrill so she got up and out of the tent.
"Good morning people."
"Hey Hawke... look, I made breakfast with what I found if you want some it is still warm and there is some clean water that Darrian brought from the river, Fenris didn't quite eat and he should so I thought maybe you'll make him eat some because he has to and Houri said he'd like to talk to you but I believe you should eat first..."
"Merrill slow... down."
"I am sorry." Hawke laid her hand on the Dalish's shoulder smiling at her. "I am happy you are back, Latha'lan."
Aisa knew exactly what she meant so she simply nodded and left to take the breakfast she heard so much of. She also grabbed an apple and walked towards Fenris throwing it right in his lap as he was leaned by the same damned tree. He was fully armored with the claws and everything. His hand wrapped around the red fruit turning it. Hawke sat next him with the bowl of Merrill's 'breakfast'.
"Good morning Fenris!"
"Morning!" She started eating. Surprisingly Merrill knew how to cook.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, Fenris simply staring at the apple... or through it and Hawke waiting for something to happen.
The elf wanted to think of anything else right now but Hawke. He stared at the apple. Big with the skin shaded with crimson red... quite appetizing... but who gave it to him? And again she's back in his mind...
He took a bite from it... FINALLY! His teeth sunk through the skin of the fruit tearing it up to reach the flesh. Hawke stopped even breathing when she heard that sound, the cracking of the fruit, the juicy flesh being penetrated by his teeth and then him chewing. Why was this so interesting for her?!
The flesh of the fruit was white and tender... juicy and sweet and mildly aromatic. Apples...
Hawke's was holding her breath but soon realized so was Fenris. He stopped chewing he stopped everything.
"Fenris are you all right?" He shook his head before answering.
"Yes... I am fine."
"Good..." She doesn't want to go through this again... she won't! She won't let him throw her away, she won't let him turn a blind eye and believe nothing happened. "No..." She doesn't want another three years of tension and denial!
"What?" She doesn't want another eternity of no Fenris because he is too much of a close-minded jerk.
"I didn't say anything." She gave him a reassuring smile, even though it was fake. His lips crooked a bit into one of those infectious smiles of his she was so damned addicted to. It left just as fast as it came being replaced by a frown. If he is doing the same damned thing he did in their first night together she's not going to wait for another three year... She'll be Damned if she'll wait for him so much again!
"Hey... you two... we packed everything... Up and let's go!" Hawke nodded to Darrian making her way towards the carriage.
"Where are we heading?" Anders yelled from the front where he was standing next to Houri which was holding the reins.
Hawke quickly grabbed a map opening it wide on her lap. With a finger trailing on it she started mumbling to herself.
"We are positioned in quite a lousy point... the Brecilian Forest is the nearest to our position right now but still we should go to Lake Calenhad?"
"Why is that?" Anders was trying to come in to the moving carriage.
"There is the circle tower... If you remember Inanna said that the Right of annulment was invoked."
"That was some time ago. They might already be dead."
"I am not working on 'might'."
"Hawke."
"It is our fault Anders... I want to check on them at least."
"You realize that that place is overwhelmed with templars and probably Seekers as well?"
"We'll be careful."
"We can't be 'careful'!"
"What are you afraid of Anders? It is bad to be back in your old prison? Don't you want to help your old friends... if not friends... don't you want to save the mages you sacrificed everyone for!" He scowled at her and returned next to Houri.
Hawke heard him whispering: "Damn that woman." and Houri chuckling.
She sighed but with a finger still pointed on the map she added. 'We'll go through Lothering. Rest there...We can also see about those Title Deeds Houri has from Alistair and then go for the Circle Tower. "
"What about the Dalish?"
"Afterwards we are going with you Darrian..."
"I don't have any business with your little problem... I will remain in Lothering and wait for you."
"Darrian... If I remember right our job was to simply get you out of Denerim... not to escort you to the Brecilian Forest..."
"I can't go alone there..."
"Then help us all the way." He opened his mouth to say something but Merrill stopped him midway with a hand on his shoulder and a smile.
"She is my friend Darrian... I can't leave her until I don't know for sure she is going to be fine... and right now I don't really... I am blabbering again... but you know." The elf rolled his eyes and nodded towards the mage.
"Fine... Lothering, Circle Tower and then the Dalish."
The road was long... Fenris and Hawke were as silent as possible unlike the others. Merrill was laughing with Darrian and Houri was joking with Anders in the front of the carriage. Aisa was left with only her mind now, after taking a few glances towards the brooding elf she realized he was left with himself as well. Why this dancing around, this useless routine between them? I can't believe it! He's seeing me as an abomination! We've been through so much why? Damn it! Stop thinking about him Hawke! Stop thinking. With that thought in her mind she looked at the sky. As blue as ever... birds flying as always... and the clouds... white as ever. At least the sun was shining warm... and tender. The wind brought familiarity to Hawke as Toby sneaked under her hand begging to be scratched.
"Hey boy." Her voice broke the silence almost making Fenris jump from his seat. The girl looked lost as her slim fingers scratched the dog's head. Fenris observed the length of her nails, from those small bitten nails, now they were long and sharp... thick and solid... just as some claws... How does it that Hawke didn't observe? His eyebrows almost came together as he realized that this possession is taking a tool on her, physically speaking because mentally he already knew it was. Her gaze turned towards him. At least those deep blue eyes were left untouched... but the tiredness in them still visible... still so real and yet unreal. After a few hours of traveling Anders broke the silence for everyone. His finger was pointing towards a small field of grain.
"What is that? The Fade energy feels quite strong and it seems that the pressure is coming from there." Hawke peeked through the small window only to see a small green cloud above the ground.
"Stop the carriage."
Shortly they were close to the strange energy.
"What is this?" Asked Merrill quite attracted.
"It feels a lot like the Fade." That is when Houri realized but it was too late to say anything as a few Shades came pouring down from the portal.
They were ready to fight in a blink of an eye.
"IS that some kind of a portal?"
"It is a fucking tear in the FADE! I never thought it will happen..." Hawke was just cutting a gruesome creature as she heard his last words. Turning around she could see the man.
His hood was on but some of the blond strands of the hair were still waving through the fabric as he was practically dancing... he was only using one long danger... much more accurately... a short sword. But his technique was unique... he was much more fighting with the hilt than the blade itself. Actually, now she knew why he was wearing a thick leather glove with a small gauntlet at his right hand... he was holding the sharp part of the sword in his hand while moving as close as he could to the creatures. He was graceful and fast, the demons falling one by one...Hawke was simply putting mesmerized.
"Derriére!" The girl instantly knew what Houri meant and she managed to freeze the Shade behind her in a blink of an eye. The man shortly made his way towards her, pointing towards Fenris and the other elf. "The tear isn't going to close by itself... Hawke and I will have to intervene!"
Fenris nodded and shortly was next to them in a guard position... Darrian and Merrill coming shortly.
"Intervene?" Hawke didn't even know a tear could be formed through the Fade.
"I can't close it... I don't know how actually... but I know how to make a connection with the spirits in the fade. I will ask them for help. But I need a person with an affinity to the world... a mage."
"I don't know..."
"Tout sera bien!" His hand grabbed hers pulling the girl towards the strange green cloud. As she got closer to the tear it felt as if her life was sucked through that thing... and her shoulders were crushed by the pressure surrounding her.
"Oh MAKER."
"No 'MAKER'! Concentrate! " His palm gripped her shoulders, his fingers digging through her skin."Concentrate your mind on the Fade."
"And what?"
"You simply have to take me in the Fade!"
"Take you in? Why not go alone?"
"I am not a mage... I can't! Just clear your mind."
"Clear my mind? Houri!"
"Listen to me Hawke! Chérie... look at me."One of his hands grabbed his hood slowly letting it down. His eyes shining with determination... he looked so strangely appealing. His long and chiseled jaw, the strong and prominent bone structure, his cheek bones creating a hollow curve in line with his full, enticing and luscious lips, slanting upwards to the start of his ears... his hair messy practically falling everywhere kind of splitting his face into two sides . A human one revealing a perfectly smooth and pale skin and a deep blue eye and a fabled one with the dark tattoo around his unnatural white eye hiding maker knows what secrets. As he spoke she could already picture his accent in her mind. "Concentrate on me... Think of me and nothing else... "His long fingers grabbed her chin."Close your eyes." It felt as a whisper to her...so she obeyed. "Take a deep breath... "She heard him do the same."And concentrate."
After a few seconds she realized they were in the Fade.
"Vous pouvez vous marcher?" Aisa opened her eyes only to meet a really worried Houri.
"What? Speak English please..."
"Excusez-moi... I often... slip...when under pressure."
"Understandable... Now what?" Houri's features tensed all at once, his eyebrows coming together as his eyes got a strange look in them. Then small blue cracks started forming around his tattoo as once again his scar opened emanating that strange bluish smoke. "Here is my turn."
Hawke's head started hurting as hell as she simply fell to her knees, crushed by the pain. She tried to get back on her feet... slowly pushing herself with one of her hands... when she looked around the air changed... and everything was dark... as if she was engulfed by a black hole.
All of the sudden whispers could be heard... from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
"We'll be freed..."... "She has to leave!"..." This is not right."... "We are hungry!"..." We demand blood!"..."We'll be free! We'll be free! We'll be free!" They kept on saying the same sentence "We'll be free! We'll be free! We'll be free" At some point it became annoying and slowly it turned in to a painfully sound making Hawke's mind bleed. But then it was silence... deafening silence until a blinding light appeared revealing Hawke's surroundings.
"Fucking Fade!"
"Indeeeeed!" She froze in her place as she heard him. That demonic voice and the little snake like hiss it made when it spoke... and the noise its body made as it crawled closer to her. One of its claws captured her chin as the other one grabbed her arm. From the corner of her eye she could see Makhai and its horrible smirk. His chin splitting in two revealing those gruesome fangs and his long tongue slipping out to lick her neck and cheek leaving a trail of black, stinking saliva. "The fade is quite a... sssssickening place... but such is the mortal realm!" A creepy chuckle echoed in its throat as he continued. "But... your world has its pluses... "He left her, crawling on what looked as some stairs."Do you like my home?" A few torches lit at once... some demons could be seen creeping through the shadows. That is when Hawke realized...
"The Black City!" Her voice seemed as if it traveled across all the corridors she could only imagine.
"Go back to your foolish life my little puppet. I just wanted to let you know... that I am still in here."
"Why did you bring her here, half breed?"
"Why are you here?"
"You shouldn't have come?'
"You are not ready!"
Damn those stupid spirits! Houri could be found in the middle of a circle made by at least a dozen of spirits. "I need you to close that tear... it could have dire effects in time... in short time I might add."
"It is just one tear!"
"So what?"
"Across the whole mortal realm these anomalies start appearing... It is not our place to intervene!"
"But brother... The humans will drown... slowly and carefully."
"It is their entire fault! Half breed... you will soon be one of ours... your rejections and attempts will only delay the inevitable."
"I fucking KNOW! But for now I am a stupid mortal... As were my mother... and I want to do something with this stupidity of mine..."
"Brothers... we should assist the mortals."
"Silence Moirai!"
"Fate has been their only friend for so much time... And honestly I am losing fate... myself!"
"Indra don't be so reckless, call upon the honor in you... The mortals could be useful... The balance is shaking and you can feel it!"
"The mortals were never useful, one bit! Because of them the Golden city fell in to the Fallen one's hands. Ganesha in your wisdom You - are -BLINDED!"
"Merde! Can you decide already! The time for me is ticking... and I am not going to waste it on your bullshit!"
"You ungrateful..."
"Indra!" All the spirits yelled.
"I Ganesha... spirit of Wisdom...decide that we'll keep the demons at bay... but we will not close the portal."
"What? Why?"
"It is... not meant to..."
"Not meant to? Huh?... you could have just said I can't do it because I just can't but nooooooo... you have to make a big fuss and involve destiny... Vas te faire enculer!" Houri said mockingly.
The spirit made a few steps towards him and pressed his hand to his tattoo perfectly tracing his scar with a finger. "Because of your rebellious nature I am forced to do this." Houri saw a white flash of light before losing his conscience.
They both woke up taking in a big breath. Soon Aisa realized that the man was at her feet holding on to his eye and whimpering from the pain. "Houri?"
"Je vais bien..." She crushed to her knees trying to cuddle his face but he wouldn't let his hand move... not even an inch.
"Houri... Let... me...SEE!" She finally managed to unstuck his palm. His face was contorted from the pain, his eyes closed tightly as blood was coursing from his right eye and scar... but...
"Your tattoo..." His eyes opened wide in pure and utter shock.
"What about my tattoo?"
"It... faded... a little..." His features...if that was possible, filled with even more despair.
He snatched himself from her hold to retrieve one of his knifes. After looking at his reflection he threw the blade.
"No... no, no, NO! MERDE! "
Hawke went to his side and watched as he was grieving his tattoo. She never would have imagined him so superficial. But all of the sudden he jerked clenching his finger around his right eye again.
"Houri what is happening!? Houri let me help you! Houri!"
"Stay away from ME!"
The group saw the man pushing Aisa away with all his might. The girl went tumbling down. Anders came next to Houri trying to see if he could do anything. Merrill rushed towards Hawke but Fenris and Darrian remained behind... both of them with an unreadable look on their faces... Fenris with his permanent scowl and the other elf with his thoughtful pout of his lips.
A/N Why a cookie... well Why not? Here is a virtual cookie for sticking up with my storie :D Also the song drnky Anders and drunky Hawke were singing is Have a Drink on Me by AC/DC.
