A/N: This fic was written as a contribution to my amazingly talented friend's Sifki fairy tale au collection! It's called Dream a Little Harder and can be read on Archive Of Our Own! She writes some really really good stuff, so I recommend checking it out. I'll link it at the end.

This is the Sifki Princess and the Pea (inspired) AU that NO ONE ASKED FOR!

Enjoy


A prince and his knight sharing frantic kisses and whispered affirmations behind the drapes that lined the palace halls would surely bring a scandal.

Even more so when said prince was meant to be looking for a suitable (royal) bride, and said knight was a woman who had disguised herself as a man in order to become one of the royal warriors.

And yet, this was the position the two had been finding themselves in increasingly often.

As Loki's lips glided softly against Sif's, he felt her smile.

"What?" He asked, breathless and amused.

"It's just…" she bit her bottom lip, eyes scanning his body. "The illusion you've chosen does look...uncomfortably like myself."

Whenever he and Sif engaged in this diversion, Loki always created a magic disguise, in case they should be discovered. If a servant were to pull back the curtain, they would only see Sir Tyrson and some unknown woman. Not a knight and the prince.

Looking down at himself, Loki lifted an eyebrow. "Hm...perhaps you are right. I suppose when I attempted to conjure the image of a beautiful woman, yours was the one which persisted."

Rolling her eyes, Sif slung her arms around his neck. "And what would this beautiful woman like to do for the rest of the evening?"

"Oh, she has a few ideas." He grinned, his hands circling her armor-clad waist. "Do you think we can make it to my chamber without being caught?"

For a long moment, Sif returned his devious smile. However, then something serious overtook her gaze. "Do you really think that's proper?"

"My dear Sif, please tell me you are not insisting upon propriety now?"

"No, I only mean...are your parent not bringing the next candidate for dinner tonight?"

"Damn, I had forgotten." He sighed, head falling forward in defeat. For the past several months, his parents had been inviting high born young ladies from far and wide to stay at the palace. However, they never stayed longer than a day. Apparently they had been conducting a sort of magical test, which all had failed.

"Well, I have not forgotten! What if this girl tonight is your future wife? Do you really want to run the chance that the day you meet your bride, you will have been...consorting with a warrior?" Despite her serious words, there was a teasing edge in her tone.

Closing his eyes, Loki groaned. "Sif, please...you are meant to be my escape from that ordeal."

"Loki, I am not an escape! I am a woman who loves you." She hissed, dark eyes flashing.

Love.

It was not a word often spoken between the two. It was everyday implied, but rarely voiced. But when it was said aloud, when he himself murmured it between kisses, or Sif laughed it whilst the two fled from the palace grounds, Loki felt a feeling entirely individual to this declaration.

A breathless, excruciating, good sort of pain. Like all of the loneliness of his life gripped his chest once more, before dissolving into warmth.

He loved her.

Leaning forward, he pulled her flush against his body and kissed her.

"Loki…" she breathed against his mouth after a moment. "Loki, I do not know if I can do this."

Pulling away, he sighed. "I know."

Sif looked thoroughly defeated.

And it killed him.

Resting his forehead against hers, his brain began to search desperately for a remedy to her sorrow.

Then, an idea struck him. "Sif, do you trust me?"

"I...am not sure."

"Would you like to be my wife?"

Pulling away, hey eyebrows flew up. "Loki-"

"If the answer is yes, then I need you to trust me and do as I say."

"But-"

"I love you, Sif." He whispered, touching her cheek. "Do you trust me?"

"I...I do."

"Excellent. Then listen carefully…"


Three days later...

"Mother...father…" Loki started, pushing the vegetables across his plate in an attempt to seem casual.

The royal family (excluding Prince Thor, who lived with his wife in a neighboring kingdom,) were seated around the stately table, far too large for a three party meal, but ideal for the revelries King Odin was so fond of hosting.

The latter, a rather cold, easily angered man, did not look up from his meal at his youngest son's words.

However, Queen Frigga's eyes lit up the moment Loki spoke. "Yes, my dear boy?"

"I only wondered…" Biting his lip, he looked at the door. He must be quick. Any minute now, Sif would arrive.

"Wondered what?" Odin sighed, finally acknowledging the conversation.

"Well, you see, I was curious about this test you have been administering. To my...potential brides, I mean."

Frigga smiled, her eyes twinkling with the same mischief so often found in the prince's gaze. "Oh? And why is that? Do you have a favorite whom you would like to assist?"

"No!" Loki replied, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. He never had been able to lie to his mother with ease. With a breathy laugh, he continued. "No, I only...as I am studying magic as well, I thought, perhaps-"

"Your mother has devised this test to ensure you end up married to your soulmate. I believe it would be far too advanced for you, son." Odin interrupted, not unkindly, but rather, boredly.

"I understand, but I want to know how it works-"

His words were one again cut short, this time by the pounding of the front door.

Sif was here.

Damn.

"Who can that be?" Odin growled, rising from his chair. "We were not to host another lady until next Saturday."

His question was soon answered by a servant opening the dining hall door and announcing the presence of a young woman seeking shelter from the storm.

"Well, bring her in." Frigga gestured, abandoning her chair as well.

And in a moment, Sif appeared before them.

She wore a dress of the deepest crimson, with a skirt large enough to swallow a battlefield, and sleeves which rested off of the shoulder. Her hair was wet and matted to her face in messy curls, and upon her head sat a silver tiara.

Loki was not sure why he stared. He had designed this illusion after all! Nevertheless, seeing the clothes upon her body left him speechless. This strong, intimidating woman; she did not lose any of her power dressed in such feminine clothes. No indeed, they clung to her muscles and swayed as she walked in such a way which seemed to declare: my beauty is a weapon, my grace is deadly.

Loki shivered.

"Please forgive me, your highnesses." Sif spoke, falling into a curtsy. "I was traveling, but my carriage became stuck in the mud down the road. It is storming so terribly, and I've nowhere else to go-"

"My dear child, speak no more of it." Frigga assured her kindly. "You have a place here for the night."

"Thank you, my queen."

At her royal highness's nod, several servants rushed forward and draped a towel over Sif's shoulders.

"Now tell me, what is your name? From where do you hail?"

Loki clenched his jaw. This was the moment his plan rested on (well, this, and discovering what the test was.)

"I am Lady Sif of the former Jotunheim." She bowed, the lie slipping smoothly from her lips.

While Jotunheim had fallen eighteen years ago, absorbed into Asgard, there were still remnants of it's upper class and wealth.

Crossing his fingers, Loki said a silent prayer that his father's grudge against Jotunheim (resulting in a lack of knowledge of its remaining royals) would work in their favor.

"Oh, a Lady? You are of high birth, then?" Odin finally spoke.

Loki sighed silently in relief.

"I am, my king." Sif replied.

"Well, I believe we have a room suitable for a lady like yourself, don't we?" Frigga smiled, meeting her husbands gaze.

"Indeed." Odin nodded, squinting his remaining eye. "Indeed we do."

Loki flashed Sif a grin.

It had worked.


After completing dinner, during which Sif maintained their lie with admirable dedication, Loki had excused himself, only to return, disguised as a servant girl. He had informed Sif that he would take her to her chamber, and led her down the many twisting halls to her room.

When they had arrived, Loki shut the door behind them and dropped the illusion.

"Will milady be needing help dressing this evening?" He asked wryly.

Turning, Sif grinned. "I knew it was you."

"Did you?"

"Indeed. I thought to myself, it is strange that this servant girl seems to smirk each time she passes a place the prince and I have...entertained each other."

"Hm, it seems I am not as talented an actor as you, Lady Sif of Jotunheim." Bridging the gap between them, he placed his hands on her waist.

"Was I truly believable?"

"You were marvelous."

For a moment, the two smiled at each other, enjoying the privacy, without fear of being discovered.

Then, Sif spoke. "So, tell me, how must I cheat to pass this notorious test?"

"Ah. About that…"

"Loki." Sif's eyes grew wide.

"I was unable to learn this information from my parents-"

"Loki!"

"-but I have not given up yet! Tonight, I shall find my mother and prompt her farther. My father was present when I asked before, and you know how the king is-"

"Loki, you were certain-"

"I know! I still am." He assured her desperately, his fingers tightening their hold.

"Should we fail, then you will have to marry some...some princess whom you do not love-"

"I know-"

"-and I will have to watch from the distance-"

"Yes, but-"

"And I could not bare that, Loki! That would be the death of me-"

"Please, give me a chance!"

Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh, her brow knitting in frustration.

"I love you." Loki whispered, a plead. "Dearest Sif…"

"Fine." She opened her eyes reluctantly. "Fine, speak to your mother. I will continue to trust you."

"Excellent-"

"However, bring me news as soon as you know. I should like to be able to practice whatever it is I'm meant to do."

"I give you my word." Stepping back, he took her hand and kissed it.

"Well, you'd best go, then." She smiled ruefully. "I shall be here, on this...alarmingly huge bed."

Smirking, Loki followed her gaze. She was correct, the bed was a behemoth, piled high with mattresses and quilts.

"I suppose that is how royals sleep?" She asked, laughing away the tears of moments ago.

"I dare say our time together has shown you exactly how royals...sleep." Loki replied, grinning suggestively.

"If I loved you any less I would slap you for speaking so."

"It is fortunate indeed, then, that you have fallen prey to my charms."

Lifting an eyebrow, Sif reached out, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling him into a bruising kiss.

"Or perhaps you have fallen prey to mine, milord." She breathed against his mouth after a moment.

Feeling pleasantly dizzy, Loki nodded and replied breathlessly, "Well, I do not mind being the victim, good lady."


Queen Frigga sat in the library, her golden hair glowing in the light of the fireplace. In her hand, she held a book of spells, and her mouth moved silently as she read.

From his place in the doorway, Loki stared. He knew he was adopted, taken in as a child when his family's kingdom had fallen. It had been a condition in the peace treaty, the last living prince of Jotunheim would be adopted by Asgard's royal family upon the death of his parents. In the way his father treated him, his status was obvious. However, there was something about his mother, her mannerisms and smirks, which left him feeling very much her son. They had always shared a bond, be it magic, or love. And it was this bond he had to exploit in order to help Sif.

Feeling slightly guilty, he took a step forward.

"What is it, Loki?" The queen asked kindly, not looking up from her book.

"Good evening mother, I was wondering if you might-"

"Tell you more about the test?" Grinning, she lifted her brows in amusement.

"Yes." Loki breathed a nervous laugh, falling into the chair beside her.

"I thought as much." Eyes twinkling, she folded her book and set it aside. "What would you like to know?"

"Oh, well…" Loki folded his hands. "I suppose I would like to know what the test is?"

"Sleeping." She replied, without missing a beat.

"Beg your pardon?"

"You heard me correctly. The test is simply sleeping."

"But...but how…" Brow furrowing, Loki's nerves began to increase.

"I have put a charm upon the bed in the young lady's room. All they have to do is sleep, and I will know if it is a good match."

"What sort of charm?"

"One of my own invention." Gaze softening, Frigga rose from her chair. "This charm will grant a young woman the most blissful sleep of her life, if she is not your soulmate."

"And if she is?"

"If she is your soulmate, and you are hers, well then...it will feel as is her bed is made of rocks."

Suddenly, Loki felt as though a veil was lifted from his mind.

He was a fool to have not noticed it before!

Every time a young woman would visit, his father would inquire the next morning how she slept. And after receiving a positive answer, she would be told to pack her bags.

So all Sif had to do was tell them that she had slept badly, and they would be married!

Unable to hide his grin, Loki shot up from his chair. "Well, thank you for explaining, mother."

"Of course, my dear-"

"I must go to bed now. I'm quite tired." Bowing slightly, Loki made for the door.

But he was stopped by Frigga calling after, "I hope she is the one, Loki."

Turning, the dark haired young man's blood ran cold. "...who?"

"My dear, I taught you your spells. I can see through them." She crossed the room, taking his cold hands in hers. "And I could tell by the way you looked at her all throughout dinner. You are in love."

"Mother…" Loki closed his eyes, squeezing her hand back. "Please do not send her away."

"I will not." Frigga shook her head kindly. "I know that status is all too important to your father, but love is a treasure which cannot be found in a kingdom's vault. I want you to be happy, my son." She placed a hand on his cheek.

Relief flooding over him, Loki lifted his own hand to cover hers. "Thank you, mother."

Frigga chuckled, "Well, now, I suppose you must go and tell your beloved how to cheat my test."


Loki crept into Sif's room, closing the massive door with as little sound as was possible in a creaky old castle.

"So, you've come back." Sif greeted him from her perch on the towering bed, its size seeming all the larger now Loki was aware of its task.

"Indeed, I have." He replied, climbing the three steps which led up the side of the bed.

"And? What have you discovered?" In her eyes, her nerves shone like sunlight upon choppy waters.

"I...I did. Discover something, I mean."

"Yes? What must I do?"

Seating himself beside her, he sunk into the soft mattress, and pursed his lips in thought.

Why was he hesitating?

His plan had worked, he would be able to marry Sif! All he had to do was tell her of the test.

The test that would determine, not only if she was his soulmate, but if he was hers.

If he would make her happy.

And Sif, beautiful, strong, faithful Sif...she deserved to be with her soulmate.

He shook his head. "You misunderstand me. I have only discovered that the test will take place tomorrow. I will...I will try to discover what it entails and inform you before luncheon."

Sif nodded, her gaze fixing on his folded hands. "Are you sure this was a good idea, Loki?"

He studied her profile, sharp and breathtaking against the candlelight, and let out a shaky breath.

How he loved her.

How much he wanted to be her husband.

But, he had made a decision.

And in the morning, he would know if he was worthy of her.

Rising from the bed, he caught her hand and kissed it. "Think no more of that this evening. Just...try to get some sleep."

She nodded, her gaze soft, yet brave.

And as he walked towards the door, she called after, "I mean you no offense, but I should think a royal family such a yourself would be able to afford a less tortuous bed."

His froze. "What?"

"I know this monstrosity looks comfortable, but I dare say I will not sleep a wink tonight. It feels as though I'm laying upon a bed of rocks."

Her words shattered any composure he had maintained. Unable to hide his grin, Loki felt tears of relief prickling the corners of his eyes.

He wanted to run to her and kiss her.

He wanted to hold her in his arms.

He wanted to leap for joy!

But instead, he simply turned, placed a hand over his heart, and bowed.

That all could wait.

It could wait until they were married.

"Goodnight, my love."


Prince Loki and his mysterious Lady Sif were married the following week.

After arriving at breakfast looking thoroughly exhausted, Queen Frigga had taken Sif's hands and announced that she would be the prince's bride.

The wedding was a small, intimate affair, nothing like that of Prince Thor. But the happy couple simply refused to wait. They said their vows in a modest temple, surrounded by the kingdom's knight and warriors, before moving to their own castle overlooking the former fjords of Jotunheim

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.


Check out more Sifki fairy tale aus here: /works/15286434/chapters/35461860