CHAPTER 9
TREPIDATION
I rise up from my lounging position, staring at Bella; my mind frantically searches for an appropriate response. What does one say when you have been caught pleasuring yourself by your fiancé'? After 4.5 seconds, I decide on the honest approach.
"I was just reminiscing and I got...carried away. I...I'm sorry if it offended you."
As always, Bella's reaction is not what I would have guessed.
She smiles saucily. "Offended? Not at all. In fact, please don't stop on my account."
I know my eyes slightly widen in surprise before I am able to control my shocked reaction to her words. She licks her lips as she leans against the doorway, looking at me with clear expectation that I will continue.
I huff as I stand up and adjust my boxers before zipping up my jeans. "Bella, there is no way I am doing that in front of you."
"Too bad. Well, by this time tomorrow, I can take care of that for you," she says coyly.
"You're home earlier than expected," I say, trying to distract her, as I move to turn down the blaring music. I know I am going to have to explain my intentions about abstaining from sexual activity to Bella soon, but I prefer to wait as long as possible. I will definitely have to address this with Bella tomorrow, as she will expect us to resume our sexual activities when her menstrual cycle ends.
She moves toward me. As she walks, she starts removing her jeans and bra. "I finished my research and decided to call it a night. I have to be up early in the morning for our first class."
By the time she reaches me, she is in just her T-shirt and underwear. She tosses her removed clothing into a hamper and turns to me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I pull her to me tightly and reach down to kiss the top of her head. "I missed you, Bella," I whisper.
"I missed you, too."
I hold her tightly, relishing moments like this. I have the love of my existence in my arms safe and content. This is perfection and I vow to do nothing to jeopardize this ever again.
We stand like this for 48 seconds before she pulls away. "I'm going to take a quick shower."
I change into pajama pants and turn on our heated mattress. My phone rings and I am surprised when I see it is Esme calling.
"Esme, everything okay?" I ask as I answer it.
"Everything's wonderful. I'm just calling to see if you and Bella can join us tomorrow night at the house for dinner with Paige. I know it's short notice, but it's the only night this week that Paige will be available."
"Does Carlisle know about this?" I ask.
She laughs lightly. "Yes, Edward. It's okay, really. I know I was being silly and jealous. I want to show Carlisle that he has no reason to be worried. Will you come?"
"I will need to speak to Bella to make sure, but I'm pretty sure we can both make it."
I hear Alice's voice in the background. "She's going to say yes, Edward."
I then hear Emmett. "Your ass better be here. If we're stuck eating human food, so are you, brother."
"We will see you around seven, then?" Esme asks.
"It seems we will see you at seven," I respond, chuckling lightly. "Thanks Esme."
I slip in under the covers and wait for Bella. When she joins me 15 minutes later, she moves immediately into my arms and I hold her, sighing in contentment.
"How was your day?" she asks me as she nuzzles my chest. I respond by stroking her back and shoulder lightly.
"Well, Alice and Rosalie finished your gym."
"That was so kind of them. I'll be using it in the morning. I haven't worked out all week."
"I also stopped by the hospital and met the hospital's in house attorney. I made arrangements to volunteer over the next few months so I can satisfy my pro bono requirement."
"Are you going to be okay working at the hospital around all of that...blood?" she asks me solicitously.
"After overcoming my bloodlust for you, I can handle anything," I say wryly.
I lean down and kiss the top of her head.
"Love?"
"Hmm?" she responds, as she turns her head slightly and places a kiss on my chest. It's a small gesture of affection, but it makes my dead heart swell every time she does it.
"Esme has invited us to dinner at the house tomorrow night. She's inviting my new boss. The whole family will be there. Do you want to go?"
"Of course," she responds, trying to stifle a yawn. "I love you," she mumbles.
"Good night, my love."
X * X * X * X *
We arrive nearly 30 minutes early to my parents' house.
I have not yet had a chance to tell Bella about Paige or Esme's real purpose for having this dinner. As soon as we enter the car, Bella receives a message from her work and she furiously texts and emails the entire drive.
"Bella, can you put the phone away? We're here," I say, as I cut off the engine and turn to Bella. She is so engrossed in reading an email I am not sure she is aware we have arrived.
"Edward, can you just give me a minute? This is important," she says with impatience.
I sigh as my family's thoughts bombard me.
Does Bella have PMS again? Don't worry. I'm prepared. I found that PMS questionnaire and I will find some chocolate.
Thank you for talking to your mother. I'm sure you and Bella will find your way, too.
Why does Emmett want me to add chocolate to the baked salmon?
Edward, can you please talk to Alice for me? She's mad because she says I'm going to do something to anger her tonight, but she won't tell me what it is so I can avoid it. Women!
Edward, would you please explain to Emmett why he can't name a vibrator after himself?
Beijing, Beirut, Belfast…
Alice is the only one blocking her thoughts from me by reciting world capitals in alphabetical order .
Bella sighs in frustration, but puts her phone away after another minute passes. "Ready?" I ask patiently.
"Yes, I'm sorry, but an emergency has come up. I may have to skip our study time tomorrow and go in to work."
I nod in acknowledgment of what she has said, although I really don't think it's a good idea for her to forgo studying in favor of going into work.
I open Bella's door and help her out. She is wearing a pair of black trousers and red cardigan sweater. My favorite part of her outfit is the high heels she is wearing. They are black and strappy and...high. Her hair is braided, and as always, she looks breathtaking.
I reach into the backseat and retrieve a covered dish. I made miniature Swedish meatballs. I cooked these for Charlie when he came over to watch a Mariner's game a few months ago. Apparently, they make a good appetizer. Bella likes them too. Besides, it gave me something to do while I waited for Bella to get ready.
We are greeted warmly as we enter. My family's thoughts and words reveal their genuine happiness at seeing both Bella and I. While I can't read Bella's thoughts, Jasper confirms that she feels loved and secure when she enters the home.
"Thank you so much for the gym. I used it this morning and I'm spoiled. I will never be able to use a public gym again," she tells my family as everyone takes turns hugging her.
I try to make eye contact with Alice, but she is pointedly refusing to look at me as she continues to block me from her thoughts. I'm no empath, but even I can sense her anxiety.
"What is that foul smelling thing you are holding?" Jasper asks me.
"Miniature Swedish meatballs," I respond, handing the dish to Esme as I kiss her cheek. "I made them myself. Just keep them on a warming plate until time to serve."
I pointedly ignore Jasper and Emmett snickering, and follow Carlisle into the living room. Esme has glasses of wine sitting out so that we can play into the illusion that we eat and drink.
Bella and I sit together on the sofa as everyone gathers around.
"So how was your first day of class?" Carlisle asks.
Bella and I briefly discuss our views on our first day, both noting our dislike for one of our professors.
"So Bella, have you been feeling irritable or aggressive lately?" Emmett suddenly asks.
"I'm sorry, what?" Bella asks, with a bemused expression.
"How about feelings of depression? Any bloating?"
Jesus. He is reciting questions from some Cosmo PMS questionnaire.
"Stop it!" I hiss at him.
"Uh, no. Do I look bloated?" she asks Emmett, cutting her eyes at me. Her expression is one of bewilderment.
"I wouldn't say so. How about breast tenderness?"
"Enough!" I nearly shout, punctuating my command by roughly shoving Emmett off of the chair arm he is perched upon.
"Emmett? Does this have something to do with your research for Sodom and Gomorrah?" Bella asks in confusion.
"No, it has to do with Emmett being an idiot," I say. "Ignore him, love." I whisper in Bella's ear as I resume my seat and put my arm around her.
Fortunately, Bella is accustom to Emmett's odd behavior so she lets it go. "So Carlisle, tell me about who is coming to dinner. All I know is she's a woman and she's the head attorney at the hospital," Bella says, as she sips on her glass of wine.
Carlisle smiles in response, but it's a nervous smile. I can tell from his thoughts that despite Esme's assurances, he is still leery of saying anything too favorable of Paige.
"She's...new," he says eventually.
"New?" Bella asks, laughing lightly. "That's it?"
"I believe she went to law school at Stanford," he adds.
"Interesting," Bella says, giving me another look of confusion. Carlisle is not being exactly verbose in responding to Bella's questions.
"Well, is she nice? A good attorney?" Bella asks, clearly trying to prompt Carlisle to tell her more about our dinner guest.
"Uhh...she keeps a neat office," Carlisle says, trying desperately not to say anything Esme may misinterpret.
"How old is she?"
Carlisle's expression becomes one of panic. Oh God. There's no good answer to this one.
I take mercy on my father.
"Based upon her date of graduation that I saw on her diploma hanging in her office and her appearance, I would guess she is no older than 30."
"Wow. She's young to be a lead attorney for a hospital. She must be good," Bella says enthusiastically.
"Did she tell you what you are going to be doing?" Bella asks me.
"I'm going to be helping her on a litigation matter," I say generally, knowing Carlisle probably wants to talk about something or someone other than Paige.
Between Alice and Carlisle's nervous thoughts, there is definitely a feeling of trepidation in the air.
Jasper, sensing Carlisle's discomfort, mentions college football, and Bella and my brothers are quickly lost in conversation about FSU's chances of making it to a major bowl game this year.
Dammit. No matter what I decide, it doesn't change anything. Alice's unguarded thoughts finally make it through her block. Before she effectively resumes her chanting, I catch a glimpse in her thoughts of us sitting at the dinner table later tonight. It's somewhat chaotic. Everyone seems to be arguing.
"What was that?" I ask Alice so low that Bella can't hear.
Nothing. Stay out of my head Edward! Alice leaves the room, clearly irritated. Damn. It's not like I can turn it off. She knows this.
I then hear Paige's thoughts as she pulls into the driveway. She's talking to herself.
"Paige, you are not going to embarrass yourself tonight by gawking at Dr. Cullen or Edward like a school girl !"
Emmett and Rose both snicker. Carlisle groans.
Much to Esme's chagrin, I hear her slip. Hussy! No, I didn't mean that!Esme is determined to be gracious and not show one iota of jealousy tonight.
Paige continues with the self lecture. "You have a professional relationship with both of these men and you cannot undermine your credibility with them by revealing that you might find them somewhat attractive."
Somewhat attractive? Is that the equivalent of hot? Wait until she sees me. You'll probably have to peel her off when she gets a load of this! Emmett thinks.
"Emmett!" I hiss. "Paige is a nice girl. Don't be crude tonight. Try to be a gentleman."
"A nice girl?" Bella asks me pointedly.
"A nice woman...young lady. You know what I mean," I rush to explain.
We wait in the living room while Esme and Carlisle greet Paige at the door. Esme, the epitome of a lady, greets Paige warmly and welcomes her to our home. Paige enters, wearing a pink sweater dress. For the first time, I see her with her hair down and realize it makes her look even younger than what she appeared to be in her office.
She is relieved when she sees me, glad to see another familiar face. I smile in greeting and rush to introduce her to Bella. "Paige, it is so nice to see you again. Please let me introduce you to my fiancé, Bella Swan." I pull Bella to my side as I make the introductions. They shake hands and exchange greetings. Carlisle spearheads the introductions to my siblings.
Esme urges us all to sit while she and Rosalie finish up with dinner. "Edward, would you pour Paige some wine?" she asks as she leaves the room with Rosalie in tow.
"So, Carlisle mentioned that you are in law school as well Bella," Paige says, after I finish pouring her a glass of wine. "Do you and Edward take classes together?"
"Yes, we have two classes together this semester. He is not in my Discrimination Law seminar."
"I always liked seminar classes. The discussions and debates are such a welcome format after sitting through countless lectures," Paige says kindly.
"Me too. My first assignment is going to be tough though. I have to come up with persuasive points arguing against the adopting of the Equal Rights Amendment which has just been reintroduced in Congress."
Paige smiles politely, but shakes her head. "Well, I think the most persuasive argument is that it's simply not needed. Women have the same opportunities as men in the workplace."
"But women are still at a disadvantage in male dominated fields," Bella counters.
"Are they really? I have to say I don't see that in the real world. I mean I've never faced any sort of disadvantage in my field. And look at the number of doctors on staff at the hospital. 42% are females."
"Yes, 42% even though we make up 55% of the population," Bella again counters.
"But Bella you're not taking into account that many women take themselves out of the workplace to stay home and raise their children. The entire female population is not working."
Bella's smile is forced. I don't think this is such a friendly debate anymore.
"Well, maybe that's a problem in itself. Why should such a disproportionate of women stay home with children."
"Well, certainly you're not saying women should not stay home with their children? Should children suffer in some sort of misguided quest for women to prove they are as capable as men?"
Bella takes a deep breath and then continues. "I'm not disagreeing that when possible, a parent staying home with children is a good idea. But why does it have to be women that are staying home? If women can truly make as much money as men in the workplace, maybe more fathers would be staying home."
"Oh, Bella, that's an excellent counter-point." Paige says good-naturally. "I think you're going to be a great attorney."
"Indeed," Carlisle chimes in, giving Bella a look of fatherly pride.
"I tell her the same thing all the time," I say as I squeeze Bella's hand.
Bella laughs. "You were scaring me there for a moment. I thought you were actually advocating some old fashion notion that women should accept a lesser role in society."
"Well, I was just playing devil's advocate with you there. But if you are asking for my personal opinion, I have no problem with the traditional notion that the man is the provider, and the protector. To say, that women having a different role in society does not mean they have a lesser role."
God, feminism is boring.
Watch Bella, Edward. She's getting angry.
I try not to let my brothers' thoughts distract me as I watch Bella. Her eyes are aflame.
Bella crosses her arms in front of her chest. "But why do we need to be protected or provided for? That's simply out-dated. Women can provide for themselves."
"But just because we don't have to do it, doesn't mean we can't let ourselves be cared for. What is wrong with being cherished by someone else?" Paige says evenly.
Then she looks at me. "What do you think Edward? Should men be the protector and provider in a relationship?"
Bella turns to me. "Yeah, Edward, I would love to hear what you have to say on the subject."
Holy hell! I'm not getting in the middle of this. I need a distraction.
"Uhhh...I'm sorry, I nearly forgot. We have appetizers. I'll go get them."
As I hurry to retrieve the meatballs, I hear Emmett speak up. "You'll have to excuse Edward. He left his balls in the kitchen."
E/N—So that there is no confusion, the lawsuit Bella has been working on is the lawsuit a nightclub filed against the City. Paige works for the hospital, which is going to file for an injunction against a nightclub but has not done so yet. Therefore, if it just happens to be the same nightclub, Bella and Paige wouldn't necessarily know about the other yet.
Also, just a note of interest, the ERA was re-introduced in Congress in 2009.
Stay tuned, part II of the dinner is coming up. I don't think it's going to be quiet, boring affair either.
Thank you Sis for a great weekend.
Thank you Eviekinz for your quick turnaround and great editing.
Thank you Lemonmartinis for the encouragement and great ideas.
Oh and Sis from another Miz, at least Bama lost too.
And finally, thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. I really enjoy reading the reviews and they keep me motivated to get these chapters out as soon as possible. Don't forget to check out the forum for teasers.
All things Twilight belong to SM.
