Chapter 9
Hey you guys…I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever –ducks from flying utensils and pepsi cans and tomatoes- BUT….i have a good reason….-laughs nervously- high school is killing me and I've recently taken a liking to nejiten fics…XD…so, if you guys know any nejiten fics that are really good, feel free to pm me the title and I'll dedicate the next chappie to you guys, okay?
Anyways, I had trouble thinking up of this chappie cuz…well, I used many of my ideas and put them into cleared…HOWEVER, I just got back from this ropes course two days ago and …let's just say it was a hilarious experience at the cafeteria…but more on that later…XD
Anyways, I need ideas for this fic cuz that's why there are fewer updates….ANY ideas would be THANKFULLY accepted.
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN, YOU MINDLESS LAWYERS WHO DRIVE BLUE PORSCHES! (just watch the movie "Cellular" on comcast –it's hliarious…
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As Gaara and his sand sibs were out terrorizing the Academy and Naruto was scaring Hiashi with his "malaria" and while Itachi was hyperventilating at the thought of getting chemo and losing his beautiful hair (drool…XD), Lee and Gai had somehow gotten ahold of the cake.
(Flashback)
"Gai-sensei, why are we spying on Konoha's youthful Tsunade?" Lee whispered as he and Gai crawled up the Hokage's tower."
"Ahh!" Lee suddenly shrieked out.
"What is the matter, Lee?" Gai asked his "youthful" student.
"I…have…..GUM ON MY SPANDEX!" Lee cried out, arms and legs flailing as he fell from the tower.
"Lee! I will save you, my YOUTHFUL student!" Gai cried out as he flew down from his perch and fell down 50 feet from the tower.
5..
4…
3…
2…
1…
THUMP…
"Er…Gai…." Lee lay sprawled on the pavement of the sidewalk, temporarily knocked out.
"Yes, my youthful student?" Gai inquired.
Somewhere nearby, an old lady started screaming.
Gai and Lee turned to the source of the screaming, and saw that the old lady was standing right next to them, looking down upon them.
"Yes, my youthful passerby. What is the matter?" Lee inquired politely, wanting to comfort the old hag who was screaming her head off and pointing at Gai and Lee.
"THEY'RE…..THEY'RE……GAY NINJAS!" The lady cried, fainting from the sight of the spandex-clad student and teacher. "Er….Gai?""Yes?" Gai looked down upon his student, who was currently laying down beneath him.
"I think our youthful baa-chan was thinking unyouthful thoughts because of our unyouthful position…"Lee said, his doll-like eyes becoming as wide as dinnerplates as Gai stared at him, suddenly realizing their awkward positions.
Suddenly, Hiashi danced by, in his ballerina tutu.
Twitch.
Twitch.
"Lee…."
"Yes, Gai-sensei?" Lee looked inquiringly at his teacher.
"Let's hurry up and get that cake." Gai got up and the two started climbing up the building again.
"Yes! We must eat that youthful cake that everyone is talking about!" Lee declared, forgetting about the "incident" with the old lady.
(End flashback)
As Lee and Gai hungrily stuffed themselves with the tainted cake, a change swept over their features
"Lee, we must…" Gai started speaking and spraying crumbs everywhere, "We must grow ASTRO-TURF!"
"But Gai, we can't grow astro-turf since it's artificial…." Lee said.
"Yes Lee, however, my youthful student, I meant that we should grow astro-turf on our spandex!"
"Yosh! That is such a youthful idea!" Lee shook his fist in the air.
Sensei and student walked out to the nearest garden store.
(at the store)
Gai and Lee walked in the store and took a deep breath.
"See that, Lee? That is the smell of youth!" Gai said, pointing at the various flowers on display.
Cricket.
Cricket.
"NOOO! THE SIGHT OF YOU TWO MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT!" It was the old lady from before, apparently.
Lee and Gai started backing up until they bumped into another group of old ladies.
The group stopped and started whispering speaking among themselves.
"Oh Bertha, see I told you we shouldn't have came here. It was a gay meeting house anyways…"
"Oh dear, Esther. I guess you were right after all. But the manager seemed so nice!" The old lady who appeared to be Esther said.
"Oh well…come on, hun…let's leave…" Bertha pulled Esther away.
Suddenly, Lee and Gai bumped into the manager, who peered up from his insomnia ridden eyes, which were under the black bags which stood out like dark lumps of pimples.
"May I help you, kind sirs?" The manager grinned scarily.
"Yes, oh youthful store-keeper. We need ASTRO-TURF!"
"Oh dear….oh dearie me….I think we might have that somewhere…" The manager hobbled off and started rifling through the shelves, and finally came out with a huge roll of astro-turf.
"Do you see that, Lee? It looks so YOUTHFUL!" Gai started shaking his fist in the air, doing a victory dance to the tune of the "I'm not wearing any underwear today" infomercial on the real ninjas amv (you should see it on youtube-just type in "real ninjas")
"YOSH!" Lee cried. The two soon became immersed in taping the astro-turf to their jumpsuits.
(a couple of hours later)
"Yosh! We have completed our goal!" Lee and Gai jumped in the air, hugging each other. The background of a sunset and rushing waterfall suddenly appeared.
However, the two became carried away though, by the effect of eating the cake. As a result, they had decided that they'd each grow some "real" astro-turf on their chins, and so they grow mini-goatees. Finishing their work, the two headed out –Lee in search of Sakura to show off his new goatee and Gai to compare his goatee to Kakashi's gravity-defying hair.
(with Lee)
"OY SAKURA! CHECK OUT MY NEW GOATEE!" Lee cried joyfully upon finding his cherry blossom.
Cricket.
Cricket.
"SASUKE, SAVE ME FROM THE WALKING ASTRO-TURF BOY!" Sakura jumped into Sasuke's arms, panting heavily from the sight of Lee with his goatee.
"Lee…word of advice…with the goatee, you're never gonna get a girlfriend…" Sasuke said, holding back a chuckle of laughter.
"Why?" The innocent Lee asked.
"Because you're girlfriend will suffer from … burns….as in….brisly goatee burns…" the Uchiha said uncomfortably, shuddering at the thought of a rope/goatee-burned girl kissing Lee.
Sakura and Sasuke walked away, with Lee wondering about the possibility of giving someone something worse than herpes.
"Nah…that would be too unyouthful…" Lee said in response to giving a youthful girl goatee burns.
However, as much as Sakura and Sasuke were repulsed by the sight of Lee with a brisly goatee, they kept coming back for more…(oh god, that did sound wrong, didn't it? XD)
Fifteen minutes later after staring at the atrocity on Lee's chin, Sakura and Sasuke managed to drag themselves away from the horrifying yet arousing sight…(it must be the cake….-sighs-)
"Sasuke, now Lee must think we're stalking him…" Sakura said quietly as the two tried to slip away unseen. Little did she know that Lee was right behind them.
"What did you say, my youthful cherry blossom?" Lee asked, oblivious to Sakura's horror and Sasuke's laughs.
Sakura just buried her head into the Uchiha's chest as the two laughed their way home.
(with Gai)
"See Kakashi! I told you I'd beat you in something. This time, I have a goatee and YOU DON'T! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kakashi merely raised his eyebrow.
"Gai…you DO realize that you're gonna have to trim that sooner or later…"
"Why?"
"Because your future –cough-nonexistent-cough- girlfriend will get a faceful of hair if you guys ever make out…"
Kakashi started reading his little orange book again as Gai hmphed and left the bar.
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So, how'd you like it? The incident with the astro-turf thing actually happened –I was at the ropes course and we had to eat lunch at the cafeteria at the college of the place we were at. Anyways, the college had just turned co-ed so there were only like five guys there, excluding the gay ones…XD…ANYWAYS, my friend and I were walking by this guy with a HUGE goatee and we were like laughing so hard and then I started choking. Anyways, there was this middle aged guy unloading stuff and he turned and started smiling creepily at me so I almost sprayed my diet pepsi everywhere.
Unfortunately, my friend and I were obsessed with looking at the guy and then we found out that he had a girlfriend and my friend was like, "eew…she must get like, third degree rope burns when they make out…" and I started laughing again…we almost didn't get caught but then we walked back to our seats and I said, "I think astro-turf guy thinks we're stalking him…" and then my friend poked me and I looked back and ASTRO-TURF GUY WAS WALKING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND RIGHT BEHIND US! As you can tell, I was like .
Anyways, if you guys have any ideas, I NEED THEM because I'm running out of them and that's why there are fewer updates…so, I thank you guys in advance and PLEASE REVIEW!
