"Shit, Ray, I'm so sorry" James says pulling me into the kitchen away from Logan and the blonde slut.

"No, it's okay James, you didn't know they'd be there" Just let it go, I tell myself.

"So, can I get you something to drink?" He asks me.

I scan the beverage selection, there's an array of soda's, water, mixers, vodka, beer, and other alcohol based drinks.

"Meet me on the deck with two shot glasses in five" I tell him. I grab a bottle of absolut and headed out to the deck. There's a few people mingling, but most are inside dancing.

"Shots?" James asks curiously, sliding the back door closed blocking out most of the noise.

I just take the glasses and fill them to the brim, handing him one.

"Cheers" I say clinking my glass with his. I throw back the shot, enjoying the burn it causes in my throat.

"Like a true lady" James comments with a wink.

Three shots in and I'm starting to feel it. I leave James on the deck for a moment to turn on the outside speakers. I see that Logan and his slut have moved to the living room, gross. I head back outside to join James. The music is pumping through the speakers and I let the music take control. More people have wandered out onto the deck creating a small crowd. The bodies are moving and the hips are grinding. I grab James and press my body against his, turned on at the touch of his hands on the sliver of skin between my shirt and jeans. Our bodies fit together perfectly, his hips grinding against mine in perfect rhythm. The alcohol is making our bodies hot. After a while of some intense and sexual dancing we both head inside to get a drink to cool off.

Logan is still sitting there with his girl, going at it hard than before.

"Ew, get a room" I scoff as I head for the adjoining kitchen.

Logan gets up and stomps over to me, getting in my face.

"Shut it, you're just jealous cause I have someone and you don't." He spits out at me.

"Oh, you wish, I could have any guy here, even James."

"Fat chance" he remarks.

Now I'm pissed. Who the fuck does he think he is? I look at James. It wouldn't be using him right? I try to work things out in my head. No, I really do have feelings for James. Yeah, this is okay.

I walk over to James, covering his eyes with my hands. This is it, I think to myself. He turns around, smiling at me and grabbing me by the waist. I flatten my hands against his chest. Slowly I bring my head up to meet his, letting him close the gap. The kiss is sexy and sensual, his hands taking my face in them. Our tongues are in a battle for dominance. He lifts me on to the counter, deepening the kiss.

I lose any lingering thoughts of Logan and get lost in kiss. James pulls away, looking straight into my eyes. His body says he wants to go upstairs and have our own private party, but his eyes are soft and full of thought.

"I don't want to hurt you Ray," He tells me "but I don't want what's between us to end."

I can't form words. I only nod, yes, and kiss him again, hoping he'll understand what I mean. This is what I'd been looking for, a guy who wants me, someone to love me, someone to take away my pain. Someone who could possibly understand my darkest secret.

a/n: soooo what's the deep dark secret? =D 3