Chapter Nine

Ren watched as Kanae questioned Kyoko's musical ability with amusement. Kyoko swore blind that she'd never had any training other than the vocal exercises at LME Acting Classes, and Kanae found herself once again amazed, and a little annoyed, at her friend's ability.

Though I suppose that's why she's my rival...

A sudden fire had been lit underneath her the moment Kyoko had started singing, and now she wanted nothing else than to work harder than ever to compete with her friend. So determined was she to hit the iron while it's hot, that she decided she would leave, right there and then, to talk to one of the singing coaches in the department.

Of course, that would mean leaving Kyoko and Ren, on their own...Well, needs must.

"Kyoko, I've got some jobs to do so I'll see you later," she announced, before turning to face Ren, "Oh, and Tsuruga-san...could relay to my apology to Yashiro for the other day? And make sure to tell him that when I have to intervene, nothing and no one can ever stop me - anyone that tries will face the consequences...can you tell him that?"

Having passed on her – if you do anything to Kyoko you'll have me to deal with – threat successfully, but in a discrete way so that Kyoko wouldn't catch on, she gave Kyoko a half hug, half pinch, on the shoulders and left.

Being left alone together resulted in a moment of awkward silence. Ren was happy that Kanae seemed to have accepted his presence in Kyoko's life as a necessary evil, but disliked the fact that it meant that even a relative stranger could see his feelings for the girl.

Kyoko on the other hand, was extremely nervous; and she really wished Kanae hadn't left her alone with Ren. It had been Kanae's presence alone that had kept Kyoko sane enough to stand so being so close to him after that song had left her shell shocked from the discovery it revealed. Unconsciously, she began humming the tune, despite the fact that she wished she'd never heard the song and it's pointed taunting. Hearing her, Ren chuckled gently to himself.

"Do you have the song from earlier stuck in your head, Mogami-san?" Ren asked, glad of something to dispel the uncertain air hovering between them.

"Hai, something like that." She murmured, blushing hard and severely wishing she couldn't feel the warmth on her cheeks or his questioning stare.

Walking as quickly as her short legs would allow, they were soon back in the main building and Kyoko once again saw the President in his plain boring clothes. She heard Ren's intake of breath.

"Oh, I'd forgotten." He muttered to himself, guiltily. He saw Kyoko's confused look, and once the President had entered the lift, he explained.

"Today's the anniversary of his wife's death."

Even though she'd never met the woman, Kyoko immediately bowed her head in respect of her, and felt her own sorrow for the President coursing through her heart. Although she was sure it would be a sad story, she felt the need to ask.

"Is that the reason why he's wearing such plain clothes, to respect his wife's memory?"

"Sort of, but it's more complicated than that. You see, the President was originally a talent manager-like Yashiro-and that suit was his 'lucky' suit. He'd worn it the day he interviewed for his job and the day he found his first talent. One day when he was wearing it, he was accosted by a wardrobe assistant of the drama his charge was in. She harangued him for wearing such a 'boring and lifeless' suit but Lory wasn't having any of it. Eventually though, the assistant dragged him to the costume department and forced him to try on one of her homemade creations – a matador's costume. While he was changing, Jun, the assistant, hid the suit, meaning he had to spend the rest of the day in the outfit. They didn't cross paths again until a few weeks later, when the entire scenario took place again, except the brand new Jun creation was a Greek chiton (like a toga). This continued for a number of months until Lory sought Jun out and asked her if she could specially design an outfit for him for a first dinner date with the woman he'd fallen in love with. She agreed and made the most ludicrous, demeaning outfit in the history of creation - mainly because she wanted to embarrass him in front of this other woman- but...well...when she finished it, the President asked her out to dinner and admitted it was her he'd fallen for."

Ren took a breath, almost as if preparing himself for what was to come. The story so far was sweet, but it wouldn't be long until it all turned sour.

"They married, had a son - Marie-chan's father, and the President carried on wearing her creations - no matter how ridiculous or exotic they'd become. It was all apparently perfect...until Jun fell ill, of course...Leukaemia...she only had two years left when they diagnosed her. Lory said he found the suit that started it all amongst her possessions after she'd died, and vowed to wear it each year to remind himself of the day they met and strengthen his resolve for facing the next year without her...even now he still calls it his 'lucky suit', even after all he's been through, but...I guess it was what brought him happiness for a time..."

By the end of his story Kyoko was crying, not her usual tears that were loud, noisy and often unnecessary, but her true tears. They were the tears that recognised true sadness like the abandonment of a mother or the loss of a loved one. He handed her a handkerchief and tried not to think of his own losses – Rick - and the tears Kyoko would cry for him if she ever found out what happened that day.

"He's so strong." Kyoko finally said, wanting to talk out her emotions so she could put them into some sort of order. "I've thought for ages that love made you weak and ruined everything, but…"

Ren stared at her, half hoping but half fearing to hope. Her tears slowly dried up and she made to return the handkerchief, but upon seeing the state it was in, she put it in her pocket so she could clean it before returning it to him. She looked Ren directly in the eyes and gave him a smile of uncertain emotion. He smiled back encouragingly, though for what he didn't know, wanting to see the smile that made him strong.

"Arigato...Re...Tsuruga-san. I've got to check that Sawara-san doesn't have any requests for me yet. Have a good day." Bowing deeply, Kyoko turned to leave.

With At least out loud I won't say I'm in love still ringing in her head, Kyoko walked away from the only man she thought she could possibly concede to caring about as more than a friend or senpai.

-x-

That night Kyoko tossed and turned on her futon, trying to get to sleep and to not think about the song that still controlled her mind. She'd been lucky enough to have tonnes of labour-intensive jobs to do for Sawara, after she'd left Ren, to distract her throughout the day, but once she was home she found herself with no such luck. Okami-san and Tashio had given her a washing-up task to do when she'd asked them for it, but it only seemed to occupy her hands, not her brain. It was only years of practice that had prevented Kyoko from breaking a whole variety of crockery while her emotions started to fluctuate. Eventually, much to Kyoko's disappointment, all of the chores for the evening were complete and she had no option but to go to her room.

In the darkness she held Corn tightly in her fist next to her heart. Fear was coursing through her - fear of the truth, reality, and a future she couldn't control. Kyoko couldn't accept what her mind was telling her - after denying any kind of affection for so long, it seemed almost impossible to believe that maybe, just maybe, something was stirring inside.

She felt...something for Tsuruga Ren.

Something that felt a lot like...

Curling up tighter, she strained to get a hold on the box deep inside of her, willing the demons left there to seal it back up and throw away the key, no matter how damaged the walls. But she couldn't. The grudges clung on valiantly but they were no match for the fluttering angels that had broken through, spilling from the box and tearing down her heart's protection.

She wanted to blame something or someone for the situation she was in, and distract herself because, despite Lory's insistence that this kind of realisation would be one of the happiest moments in her life, she felt thoroughly miserable.

Her grudges held an emergency conference in the last safe place for them - the portion of her brain still filled with the misdeeds of Fuwa Sho - and it soon turned into a full on argument, none of them reaching a conclusion on who was to blame.

This is all Tina's fault.

No. It's not. She was only doing her job - she didn't choose the song.

Right...so it's Director Hielberg's fault.

No. Blaming somebody who wasn't even there is unfair, and how can you be so ungrateful and disrespectful to such a famous and incredible director?

Well, what about President Lory? Yes...he was the one who forced us into the stupid LoveMe section.

But if we weren't in the LoveMe section then we wouldn't be an actress and wouldn't have been able to start the growing process of 'Mogami Kyoko'.

Yes, but we don't need to grow this emotion - it's nothing but trouble. President Lory has every right to believe in love - what with the story off his wife and all...but that doesn't mean he has the right to interfere with everybody else's wish to remain a pure maiden for the rest of their lives!

You've already let Hielberg off because he wasn't there, if you don't let Lory off then that's double standards.

Fine, it isn't Lory's fault...What about Kanae?

Now you're just being ridiculous, how on earth could it be her fault?

Well...she did force us to sing the song after Tsuruga-san said all those inappropriate things about us being equal to him.

I will not blame my best friend!

We don't need to.

We don't?

No it's obvious whose fault it is.

It is?

Of course, it's Tsuruga-san's fault. If he still hated us we wouldn't feel like this. I mean, how are we supposed to offer protection from the Co-star killer and Emperor of the Night?

Silence reigned for a moment at the Grudges' discussion table. They all turned on the grudge who'd made the suggestion of blaming Ren.

Get her. How dare you suggest we blame Tsuruga-san, it's not his fault we fell for him. Yes, he shouldn't use the Emperor of the Night on a pure hearted Japanese maiden, but he is not to be blamed. He has been an extremely generous senpai. He's helped us in so many ways. There's no way it's his fault. If anyone is to blame it's us. How could we be so stupid to fall for him? We're plain and ugly. We barely deserve to be his kohai. It's only because he is so generous that we can even register in his existence. He deserves better than us.

"He deserves better than me."

Although it broke her heart to think it, there was no other reasoning Kyoko could come up with that night.

He already has someone he loves and they deserve to be together. I can't make things awkward between us and I can't cause problems for him. I will act like the best kohai in the world and not bother him with my disgusting unworthy feelings.

Slow, sad but determined, Kyoko rebuilt the defences around her heart and put a heavy padlock on it, feeling more and more weighed down by her inadequacy. Suitably convinced that she'd buried her feelings, Kyoko rolled over again and proceeded to fall into a heavy sleep - one that neither tormented her nor offered her any hope.

But she had no way of knowing what the fates had in store for her.

-x-

Hielberg listened to the recordings from earlier that day while drinking one of the bottles of beer he'd brought with him for his own enjoyment. He couldn't stand sake - Carona all the way. It had been a productive day both for Tina and for him. He'd managed to secure a large enough hotel for them all in Kyoto that would allow them to film both inside and out, while Tina had…well I guess I've got to say she's done it again. He was mightily impressed by his assistant and couldn't help but feel smug when he remembered how there'd been opposition to him hiring her at the start.

And now look at her...she's a consort battleship, easily dealing with any problem he chucked her way he thought, proud of his protégée. Now all she needs is to find herself a nice young man...a part of his brain considered in a fatherly manner, and that was the moment he decided he'd had enough to drink that evening.

I'm turning into Lory...he shuddered, but then, considering the talent Lory seems to have acquired over the last few years, maybe taking a leaf out of his book wouldn't be such a bad idea... Tina had related to him the effect of Kyoko's singing on everyone, and once he'd heard it he had to agree that it was pretty emotive stuff. She's turning out to be a right little find her...I'll have to make the most of it.

Tina entered the room with the last of the paperwork they needed to prepare that night. It was already late but Hielberg knew there would probably be problems as soon as they started contacting people in the morning, and knew that it would only get worse the later in the day they began. He couldn't waste time in the morning on paperwork.

"This one's Kyoko Mogami's, I mean Mo…"
"Don't bother Tina, I commend your effort to sink into Japanese culture but it's just the two of us and, knowing my head right now, I'll probably get them confused it you put their names the wrong way round."

Tina didn't risk getting into the conversation that technically it was just 'the other way round' rather than 'wrong', because Hielberg was the kind of person where if anything was different or the opposite of how he usually did something or had been brought up to do, it was automatically wrong. She'd already had an unnecessarily long conversation with him and the English manner of dating things in the order of day, month then year rather than month, day and then year, which had been completely unsuccessful in calming him down so he didn't verbally abuse the poor English intern at the company.

"So we're offering Kyoko the part of Sarah and a wage of…"

"Excuse me, but when did I ever say she was playing the part of Sarah?" Hielberg asked haughtily.

You didn't, but that's the part she auditioned for and you've never given her any audition pieces for any of the other characters. Unless…the song, Sarah doesn't sing, she's a model, so why would Kyoko have to sing that piece..? Unless she's going to be playing…

Tina looked up at her boss, surprised. It wasn't that she thought Kyoko couldn't handle the piece, it was just...well...it's quite a part for her to be handling, she's only 17 after all.

Hielberg saw the look on his assistant's face and chuckled with amusement. Plucking out his cigarette box from his top pocket he took one out and lit it, before breathing in and releasing a cloud of smoke, its heavy sent filling the room at a record speed.

"Yes Tina, I'm giving Kyoko that part. It wouldn't do for the antagonist the audience is supposed to hate to have more life and chemistry with Ben than his love interest."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Finally got around to my explanation for Lory's plain suit. Sorry if this is a slightly depressing chapter. Despite being the writer I'm annoyed with Kyoko's determination to close off her heart but it means there can be more fun later. Hope you don't hate me too much. Thanks for all you're reviews, please don't stop. Arigato :D