"So…next stop, Ebon." Ed grinned up at his little brother.

Alphonse nodded his acknowledgement, eager to get going. Edward folded the paper into a pamphlet, shoving it into his coat, and threw his suitcase over his shoulder. The boy flew down the steps of the Military Headquarters and raced down the streets towards the train station.

The pair sped right past Sans, paying the strange man no mind. He waved to them ironically, knowing full well they didn't notice him.

"hey, where the kids running off to?" he asked as he entered the office.

"You mean Edward and Alphonse?" Riza clarified "I think they said they were going somewhere on a lead… 'Ebon', I think they said."

"'Ebon'?" Sans repeated. He thought a moment, mulling to himself, then addressed Mustang "mind if i go with 'em?"

Roy blinked, startled out of the House of Cards he was building, which fell over on his desk. He sighed, grieving a minute over the destruction of his work, then met Sans's gaze with a rather annoyed glare.

"Skell, you don't do any work around here as it is. Why should I let you go?" he muttered.

Sans shrugged, walking up to the Colonel's desk, and leaned in close "i got some friends who live near there. if ya catch my drift."

Roy frowned a moment, then sighed, slouching back into his chair. "Fine. Tag along with the Elrics, won't you? That way they have a babysitter."

Sans chuckled "buddy, you mean that way I have babysitter-s."

"Same thing." Roy shrugged "Hurry up if you want to catch that train, Skell."

Sans threw him a sloppy, left-handed salute "thanks for the va-ca must-sta."

"Whatever. Hurry up and get out of my hair." Roy mumbled, re-starting his task to build a small civilization out of playing cards.

Sans winked at him, left, found an abandoned corridor, and teleported to his apartment.

Quickly, he shoved extra bandages, some notebooks, civilian-esque clothes and small bottles made to look like medication. Shortly after, he was adorned in a more prude version of his casual outfit. The shorts were replaced with slacks, the slippers with his military boots. Instead of his brown gloves, he pulled on his dark-blue mittens underneath the sleeves of his favorite hoodie.

Bag slung over his shoulder, he took another quick shortcut to a near-deserted loading bay near the train station. A roll of his shoulders, a brisk walk, and his eye sockets were scanning over the crowd for an easy-to-spot suit of armor.

As expected, it didn't take too long to spot them. The two boys were sitting on a bench, staring intently at the boarding area. Ed was leaning on his suitcase which rested on his knees, his right leg bouncing impatiently as he drummed his fingers against his face. Al sat in a way clearly trying to make himself look smaller. His helmet was ducked into his narrowed shoulders, his legs close together with his feet overlapping.

Sans swallowed down a chuckle as he snuck up on them. Whoopie-Cushion safely nestled in his mitten, ready to be deployed. Apparently old habits die hard.

"hi." Sans grinned, getting in between the brothers while slapping the whoopie-cushion against Edward's shoulder. The short blond let out a startled (incredibly comedic) yelp and practically threw himself onto the ground. Al yipped slightly, turning to look at the unexpected visitor. Sans made himself comfortable on the part of the bench Ed had vacated. He winked at the boy "thanks for the seat, kiddo."

Ed's face was flushed red with part embarrassment, mostly rage. He leapt to his feet and pointed an accusatory finger in the man's face.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" he snapped.

"Brother, calm down!" Al retorted sharply.

"no biggie, kids." Sans said. He shrugged "roy-boy told me you guys were going to ebon. i got some friends who live near there so i figured i'd tag along."

"No one said you could!" Ed spat.

"roy did." Sans said casually, making himself comfortable. Ed opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, then opened it again. He then settled for sitting down on the other side of Alphonse, arms crossed and his bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

Al sighed at his brother's lack of manners. "So, Major Skell?"

"sup." Sans didn't as much ask as say.

Al fidgeted, clearly trying to think of something to break the tension he was imagining Sans had. "Er… Are you going to Ebon to visit your brother?"

Sans tensed up, then quickly forced himself to relax "nah, my bro doesn't live around there."

"Oh. Uh…" Al said "So how are your friends like?"

"Imaginary, probably." Ed muttered. Sans laughed at that, wiping a tear out from under his eye and shooting the boy a wink.

"nice one, kiddo." Sans chuckled. Ed growled at him and pressed himself against Al so he was out of the man's sight. Al muttered some choice words of complaint, causing Sans to chuckle a bit more. He winked at the armored spirit. "well my friends are pretty unique, i'd say. my bud alphys is a huge nerd, i got another friend named tori. she likes to bake pies and read books and kinda has that 'i-adopt-every-child-i-see' vibe going on." His grin widened "she tells great jokes too."

"They sound nice." Al chirped.

"they are." Sans nodded "real great company."

"Then why do they hang around you?" Ed growled.

"ouch." Sans said, his eyes darting to the side "ya really hurt my feelings."

"I wasn't aware you had those!" Ed hissed.

"Brother, calm down!" Al snapped.

"nah, it's cool." Sans shrugged "everyone's got their own sense of humor, P-Al."

Al blinked a moment, registering the pun. Then both of the brothers shot him a pointed glare. "Seriously?" Ed muttered.

Sans laughed "sorry boys. i guess you don't think my sense of humor is pun-tastic."

"THAT ONE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!" Ed snapped.

Sans winked at him "y'mean it doesn't make 'sans'?"

Ed grinded his teeth, a hiss howling from between his teeth. He opened his mouth to deliver a not-so-nice message when Sans interrupted him yet again.

"sorry to derail your train of thought there, bucko, but the train's here." Sans chuckled.

Ed fumed, screaming obscenities and threats at the top of his lugs as his little brother held him back, trying in vain to calm the blond down.

Sans's grin grew wider, as it was he was quite content with this reaction.


A/N

Short chapter. Sorry. I wanted to update but I didn't want to hog my sister's computer. She needs it for something so… yeah.

The 'derailing of the train of thought' pun is something I use quite often. The more off-topic I get, the more layers I add to it. for instance "my train of thought derailed, rolled down a hill, landed in a mind field, exploded, flew 200 feet into the air, then landed up-right on a different track".

This Chapter's Favorite Line Was:

"Roy mumbled, re-starting his task to build a small civilization out of playing cards."