I love reviews…and SUMMER!! Too bad I'm still unemployed. In my defense, I had an interview, but they didn't seem to like that I couldn't work nights because of upcoming summer school. Whatevs. I need to add that pretty much anything I add is a stream-of-consciousness thing, so please excuse any grammatical errors or just plain dumb ideas.
Scene 19:
House's room in the psych ward (2:45 AM)
Wilson is standing outside of House's room in the psych ward
Wilson: PSSSST!! HOUSE!
House: *waking up & mumbling* Put your clothes back on,Madonna!
Wilson: Huh?
House: Sorry, I had a nightmare that I was watching Madonna in concert. What are you doing here?
Wilson: I'm busting you out!
House: What happened to those Prison Break guys?
Wilson: Uhhhh, the author of this spoof didn't watch any Prison Break YouTube videos, so we're not using them. We can totally do our own action sequences anyway! It'll be awesomeeeeee
House: *laughs* riiiiiiiiight. Cuz I'm so fast and all with my cane.
Wilson: Yeah! Look at the bright side; we don't get a chance to be all action-hero-y. We're a drama show, after all.
House: Screw it. Let's go for it! But before we do…I have something to tell you
Wilson: What? Ohmigod, is it about you & Cuddy? You guys going to have Huddy babies afterall! EEEEEEE *fangirl flail*
House: NO! *huddles in a blanket and whispers* I see dead people!
Wilson: Damnit, House. Stop giving me false hope. Let's just get you out of here, mmkay?
*007 music begins to play & House and Wilson are spontaneously changed into tuxedos*
Wilson: No, sorry, not wearing a tux. There's NO WAY I can do action stuff in a tuxedo. I'm James Wilson, not James Bond!
House: you're hotter than James Bond, anyway.
PartyPants: Yeah, I agree. But finneeee, I'll change your stupid costumes.
*Techno music begins to play and House & Wilson are spontaneously changed into muscle tanks and cargo pants…and boots. They're also bald*House: Ugh! No way! I'm not going to be dressed like Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis or something.
Wilson: …and I didn't say to change the music!
PartyPants: Stop interrupting my story! You'll do what I want you to do, capisce?
*007 music comes back on, and House & Wilson are wearing the clothes they would normally wear*
Wilson: Much better. Come on, House, let's go!
*a montage plays out where House is trying to create a ladder only using paper clips & a staple. We then see him put the ladder down—and simply walk out of his first-floor window*
House: Wow, that was a waste of time, wasn't it? Oh well. Let's go to the meeting in South Park!
Wilson: Yeah!
*House and Wilson drive away in his get-away car: the CancerDude-mobile!*
Scene 20! : Seven Days Later
South Park, Colorado
Our beloved South Park characters can see all members of the TCU arriving in their city
Stan: Dude! What are all of these people doing in South Park?
Kyle: I dunno. Is there a Star Trek convention here or something?
Kenny: *mumble mumble mumble mumble*
Cartman: ahahahaha! That's what she said!
*Chef walks up behind the kids*
Chef: Hello, children.
All: Hey chef!
Chef: What's wrong, children?
Stan: We're confused. What the hell is going on here?
Chef: Sometimes, children, when you get older, you can be confused about sex…
Cartman: Not about sex, Chef! We wanna know why so many people are in South Park today.
Chef: Oh, the TV Characters' Union is meeting here today.
Kyle: Who are the TV Characters' Union?
Chef: Just a group of pissed-off television characters who hate what the writers are doing to their shows or something.
Cartman: that sounds gay.
Big Gay Al: Did someone say GAY?!
Chef: No, Big Gay Al!
Stan: so lemme get this straight: a whole bunch of people are coming to South Park because they're pissed off?
Kyle: That's not fair. Now we can't get around our quiet little redneck Podunk white trash kick-ass town without these people stepping all over us. We could get killed!
*Kenny is stomped to death by Barney the Dinosaur*
Stan: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards!
Cartman: Screw you guys, I'm going home.
*Cartman leaves, and Stan, Kyle, and Chef go to the TCU meeting to see what the commotion is all about*
Scene 21: South Park, Colorado
TCU meeting
Announcer: and now, entering the building—the President of the TCU, !
*House enters the room from the side to "Fight the Power"; he does the Fight The Power dance, and his FanGirls with flame canes enter the room from the back and walk up to the front*
House: psst, go away! I'm trying to do something productive here
FanGirl 1: Do you think he's telling the truth?
FanGirl 2: No way. Everybody lies.
House: Not today! SECURITY!
*FanGirls are escorted out by Steve from "Jerry Springer"*
House:Yo yo yiggity yo. *pulls out some index cards* My name is House & I'm addicted to Vicodin
Everyone: Hi, House.
House: Oops, wrong intro! *pulls out another group of index cards* Hello, everyone. I'm Dr. Gregory House from FOX's "House M.D."
Everyone: Hi, House.
House: Hey, how you doin'? Well, the reason I've all called you into South Park for our first meeting is because I, as well as my fellow docs on "House", feel that a change needs to be made in regards to resolving sexual tension on our shows.
*everyone begins clapping*
House: It's been a long time coming, but lately, writers have been out of hand in dealing with these issues.
*Bones/Brennan from "Bones" stands up*Bones/Brennan: Yeah! What was the deal with hallucinations this season?
House: Right? I 'hallucinated' Cuddy & I having sex, and didn't Booth hallucinate sex & pregnancy for the season finale,too?
Bones/Brennan: Yep. I finally thought, "wow, the writers want me to be happy after all," just to find out in the last 3 minutes of the season finale that it was all a cruel joke. WHY?! *runs out crying, and Booth runs after her*
House: It's not just about the stupid hallucinations. Some shows take forever to resolve the sexual tension, and others barely touch on the subject through the entire series! Take "Law & Order, SVU". Benson & Stabler, aren't you sooooo tired of working together and like, not actively resolving your sexual tension?
Benson: We're always saving each others' lives while giving each other longing glances….but just when you think we'd get together—BAM! He's back together with his ex-wife.
Stabler: It's so unfair. Do you think I wanted that?!
Benson: You know what? I just saved Stabler's life by kissing a murderer right in front of him on Tuesday's season finale, and I bet you anything that the writers STILL won't give us any kind of resolution. I bet they don't even mention it ever again.
House: and what about Ross & Rachel on "Friends"? They were together, then they broke up when Ross cheated on Rachel…
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!
House: Riiiight. Anyway, long story short, they had a baby together and didn't even get together until the fracking last episode. "I got off the plane!" wah wah wah. We all knew they were meant for each other, even when they were with other people.
Rachel: For real. They even made me kiss Joey! Zero. Chemistry.
House: Look, all I'm saying is that it's time that we get together and stop this madness! It's not fair that we can't all be happy. I know I don't want to me a misanthrope anymore, but when I finally tell Cuddy how I feel, and when we're FINALLY supposed to have sex, I end up in a psych ward. It's not right. Our freedom of speech is freedom or death; we've got to fight the powers that be!
McDreamy: *does hair flip* Fight the power!
Chase: Fight the powers, mate
Rachel: Fight the power!
Stabler: Fight the powers that be!
*everyone begins to stand up and chant the lyrics to "Fight the Power". Canes appear for everyone out of thin air, and everyone begins to dance like House did*
Stan: Dude, this is f****ed up. Let's go home.
*South Park kids leave, and everyone is still dancing*
Meanwhile, across town…..
Dog: Hey Beth, we have a new case originating from New Jersey
Beth: What's up?
Dog: A 49-year-old male from Jersey escaped from his room in the psych ward in Pennsylvania or something with his non-gay best buddy.
Beth: Is he a felon?
Dog: Kind of. I mean, he wasn't convicted because his boss perjured herself for him, but hell, we're cool enough to be spoofed. We're taking the case.
Beth: Sounds cool. Let's go find him. Hope he's not a runner….
To Be Continued…………..
So, I'm nearing the end of this spoof, but no worries; I am in the brainstorming stage of creating a sequel spoof! I don't know what the title is, but it'll be a spoof of fanfics that I've read as well as spoofs of different TV shows, music, etc. I have a great idea for the first chapter, too! Hint: a small ditty of "Boats 'n' Hoes" will be seen. That's all I'm telling you.
