A/N: I know a tab bit late :)
Olivia entered the hospital room Amanda had been assigned and paused when she saw Barba sitting at the blonde's left, his back facing the window "you didn't go home last night did you" she stated noticing the tan man still wearing the same cloths from the previous day.
Rafael looked up and shrugged "there's no need to go home" his face still held immense sadness
"You need your rest Barba" Olivia commented, she herself had reluctantly left the hospital late last night. She had to tend to the children. When she arrived home Noah had instantly jumped in her arms having more energy than she felt she could ever have again. Her baby boy talked a mile a minute about the wonderful day he had with his nanny and Jesse. The baby girl on the other hand was fussy, she reached out to the elder woman and Olivia had to put Noah down. Jesse clung to Olivia's shirt for dear life. "She's been like that all day, I think she misses her mommy" Lucy said as she gathered her things, before she left she asked the Lieutenant if she needed anything else. Olivia simply nodded no. "You miss your mama, Jesse, huh" Olivia said to the baby girl as she rocked her back and forth "I miss her too, but you know what, she's the toughest woman in New York and I know she'll be up soon"
"I can get all the rest I need here" Barba's voice brought Olivia out of her head.
"So I assume that you've taken the day off as well?" she asked as she placed herself in the chair on the opposite side of the bed.
"The week" Barba said clearly rubbing the back of Amanda's hand.
"Great minds think alike" Olivia offered a smile
"You too?" The tan man said in a questioning voice "I know how hard it was for me to get it off but you have a squad to run, what about all of your cases?"
"Now that Dodds is my second, I have a lot more flexibility than I used to. The boys have all agreed to pick up the slack" Olivia explained. Fin and Carisi had been by the hospital the day before, both staying for several hours. Carisi made sure to have his mother light a candle in the church for Amanda as well as start a rosary group. Fin had promised to take care of Franny, to the brunette's great relief. In all honesty Olivia had forgotten about the family's furry friend. Dodds, on the other hand, not knowing Amanda all too well only stopped by for an hour before he left.
"Not to be rude or anything Liv" Barba began "but why take off a week, I know you're taking care of Jesse and I couldn't tell you how grateful I am, how grateful Amanda would be, but to my knowledge you two weren't too close, not withstanding the last few outings you've had together" the lawyer asked. Amanda wasn't the most open person which was torture for Rafael, as a lawyer he hated to be left in the dark about anything; however, he also loved the chase and used his skills as a lawyer to get bits of information from the blonde, much to her chagrin. With all of the information he had learned about Amanda over the last two years, he never once heard of the two women having any sort of relationship outside of work. He found it strange that Olivia would use precious vacation time to sit at the side of her detective's bed when there was nothing she could do to remedy the situation. Something was up and Barba knew it.
"It's complicated" Olivia stated simply not wanting to give away their true relationship if she had any choice, at least until she had a chance to talk to Amanda directly.
"Complicated" Barba mimicked her, his mind already reading the slightly defensive body language his companion was showing. He could easily tell that she was hiding something but he couldn't quite place his finger on what. "Liv, I'm no detective but I pride myself in being able to read people and I know that this" he motioned between her and Amanda "is something more than just 'complicated'" he slowly nodded his head as he continued to read his companion, he squinted his eyes slightly as if he could almost see the truth "you're afraid of something"
"Look Barba" Olivia said with a deep breath "I know it's in your nature to dig, but please trust me that it's..." Olivia was interrupted by a knock at the door. A moment later it was pushed open and a short woman with curly black hair entered the room. She had a clipboard at her side but she was not a member of the staff at the hospital, she was dressed in a grey and black dress suit with small black heels. Olivia instantly recognized her.
"Harrison?" Olivia questioned the appearance of the professionally dressed woman before her. Natalie Harrison was known to the squad for their dealings with child protective services, whenever a child needed to be removed from a potentially dangerous environment she was the person involved.
"Hello Lieutenant" Harrison said with a small nod "I was told I could find you here" she finished and then looked over to Barba sitting on the other side of the room and offered him a smile as well, she didn't receive a response.
"What did you need me for?" Benson asked quickly "My office should have relayed that I am unavailable this week, so if it's about one of our cases then Dodds could..." Olivia stopped speaking as she watched the small woman in front of her raise her hand slightly and shake her head no in a small gentle manner. Her heart dropped slightly "Is it about Noah? Everything went through nearly a year ago, I thought these visits from child services would stop"
"It has nothing to do with your family Lieutenant" Harrison said calmly "I'm actually hear about your detective"
Olivia paused for a moment not processing what was just said, then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Jesse?" she nearly shouted out loud. Harrison offered a nod in affirmative.
Barba instantly stood from his seat, a protective glare forming on his face "and what is there a need for CPS to get involved for, Jesse is in a safe home being well taken care of"
"I have no doubt that Jesse is in good hand with Benson, but since Amanda has no next of kin listed in the state and no will on who is to care for Jesse in this sort of situation, we have no choice but to take custody until the next of Kin can be contacted" Harrison explained.
"Her family disowned her!" Barba yelled frustrated at the situation. He recalled how devastated Amanda was when her mother left her after her sister's arraignment. She tried so hard to make things easier for her sister but when Kim messed everything up, like normal, her mother turned on her eldest 'adopted' daughter. His hatred for her family would probably never go away, even if Amanda herself forgave them.
"That still doesn't change the facts for what we have to do" Harrison said smoothly. She was used to being yelled at in these types of situations, whenever a child was involved strong emotions could be brought to the surface.
"Amanda was practically raised in the system" Olivia said after finally snapping out of the fact that someone was trying to take away her granddaughter, she would not stand for it, not even for a moment "it would kill her if her daughter had to spend even a night with strangers, she's already with me. I'm a certified foster parent, why not let me keep her" the elder woman argued with fire behind her eyes.
"I was planning on having you keep her, but there is still protocols to follow, Jesse will have to come with us for the night and by tomorrow at the soonest... I am rushing the paperwork for you guys" the short woman offered with a slight shrug "you'll have her back legally so long as the next of kin doesn't fight for custody. I have someone on their way to collect Jesse as we speak"
"No, you can't do that" Barba yelled, "as the family's lawyer I demand to see the proper paperwork before I let any of your people touch that child". Barba offered in an attempt to stall the whole situation.
"Call them back now!" Olivia nearly growled at the woman before her.
Harrison raised up her hands in a surrendering motion trying to reason with the two.. "You know I can't..." she was interrupted
"I am her next of Kin" Olivia stated firmly indicating Amanda's still form on the bed behind her with a swift wave of her hand "I have every right to care for Jesse, she's my granddaughter" she had a glare that indicated that she would not back down to anyone on this issue.
"Granddaughter?" both Harrison and Barba questioned at the same time
"How exactly is she your granddaughter?" the short woman asked in well concealed disbelief.
Olivia took a deep breath, she had wanted Amanda to be the next person she would tell but for Jesse's sake she would not hesitate to reveal the truth. "It's complicated" she began as she sent a small look towards Barba "when I was fifteen I became pregnant with a child I could not care for. In order to give her the best chance in life I gave her up." Olivia sighed at the painful memory "Then recently a case brought up the thought that Amanda could be my little girl" she swallowed hard as she glanced back at the blonde on the bed, completely unaware of the conversation taking place around her "I had our DNA tested in secret and it confirmed my beliefs, she's mine and that makes Jesse mine as well. Now I just got them and my daughter here is fighting for her life... please don't take my granddaughter from me too" Benson finished with shallow breaths fighting very hard to keep any tears behind her eyes.
"Why is this not in her file yet" Harrison asked, she couldn't be quite sure she completely believed Benson's story, people could make up the most fantastical stories in these situations; but, one thing she knew for certain, the raw emotion coming from Olivia was real.
"I just found out two weeks ago. I was going to tell Amanda yesterday morning but the accident happened first" Olivia said distraughtly. Barba remained silent throughout the whole exchanged but kept his eyes firmly placed on Olivia.
Harrison stood still for a few moments clearly thinking hard about the situation, she nodded her head a few times as if she was agreeing with the decision she'd just made "alight, I'll leave Jesse in your care" Olivia and Barba both felt the stress suddenly leave their bodies "but I'll be back to see you tomorrow, you have to sign some paperwork and I would also like a copy of the DNA test... I assume you'll be here?" she asked and quickly received a positive response. Harrison then bid the two adults a farewell but not before offering her condolences.
The room was silent for several moments after Harrison had left. "You were right to call the situation complicated" Barba offered slowly with a small but awkward grin. In truth he had yet to completely process the information, and instead of contemplating it any further he decided to simply ask the questions on his mind. "Although, I think complicated is a bit of an understatement" he added and Benson ran her hands through her hair as she once agin sat down at Amanda's bedside, exhaustion evident in her demeanor. Rafael followed her lead "so I guess this explains the sudden interest in Amanda"
Olivia bit her lip and just shook her head frustratedly "You have no idea, Barba, the emotional roller coaster I've been on these last few weeks. First it was just my suspicion, then it was the truth and I had to deal with the conflict of if I should even tell her or not. I mean we haven't had the best history together, God I almost kicked her out of the squad because of my anger towards her" Rafael was aware of that situation and realized that Olivia was ranting but allowed the older woman to let everything go. He had a feeling she has held it in long enough. "I think our biggest problem was her lack of trust and me seeing myself in her. She just reminded me of all my past mistakes I made and I could never figure out why, I think out of fear I just took out my frustration on her. Now I realize how similar we truly were... are" she didn't want to talk about Amanda in the past tense, she was still alive and she would wake up. Olivia was sure of that. Benson let out a stuttered breath "I feel like it's my fault that she's even in this hospital bed right now"
"You can't blame yourself for that, the only one at fault was that idiot who ran the light" Barba offered "besides it was my stupid idea to sleep at my house, we could've went to her apartment instead so she wouldn't have even needed to be in the cab. I mean her bed is more comfortable I believe..." Rafael trialled off momentarily, he suddenly realized that now he was talking to the mother of his girlfriend and he became very subconscious about mentioning how they've shared beds in the past. His cheeks began to flush bright red.
"Don't be bashful now Barba, you two have been dating long before the thought of me being her biological mother ever came to mind" Olivia smiled, the change in topic to something lighter made her heartache ease, if only by a bit. "Just no details please, I don't need the mental images"
"Oh God no" Barba scoffed "I would never dream of that" he laughed and Olivia joined him with a chuckle. "You know she's going to take it hard" Barba began "I mean, it's not my place to even say anything but she doesn't open up much, especially about her childhood, but from what I gathered she had it very rough"
"Why do you think I was so hesitant to even say anything" Olivia said "I don't know how I'll handle the possible rejection"
Barba stayed silent at this, even he couldn't predict what Amanda would do, and he would say with confidence that he probably knew her best. "What about your jobs?" he decided to change the topic "would this affect either of your positions?"
"In all honesty, I really don't know" Olivia said with a straight face "Family working together has happened in the past, even superior and subordinate positions, but those case were mostly uncle and nephew or niece at the closest" she shrugged "and you have to consider the fact that we only recently discovered this truth, and that we have spent the last few years working together already" she shook her head if in tired frustration "I just don't know"
"Well, what if I looked it up for you two?" Barba offered. He knew that both women loved what they did, not to mention they were some of the best detectives he had ever seen and the SVU would suffer greatly from the loss of either woman.
"you would really do that?"
"Of course" he smirked "I mean we're practically family now" he finished but then a moment later he realized what he said and gave a half look of disgust before shrugging and rolling his eyes in his famous snarky manner.
Tuesday morning, Olivia was once again entering Amanda's hospital room when she stopped and noticed Barba sitting in the same place she had left him in the night before. She had left late again last night but not before making the latin man before her promise that he would at least go home and shower and sleep. "Barba!" Olivia said at the door "You spent the night again, what happened to going home?" she finished as she walked up behind him.
"It just slipped my mind I guess" he lied easily but Olivia would not fall for it.
"Okay, but now you have no excuse" she stated "go home and rest..." he gave no movement "oaky at least shower and change"
"No" he said finally turning to face her but his hand firmly remaining on Amanda's "what if she wakes up when I'm not here, I can't allow that"
Olivia's eyes softened "Rafael" she said calmly in a soothing manner while placing a hand on his shoulder "It would hurt Amanda even more if she woke up to find your health deteriorated because of her"
The two were silent for several moments, both refusing to back down until Barba suddenly jumped up "Oh my God, Amanda!" he yelled and leaned over the blonde.
His swift moment startled Olivia "What's wrong?" she asked as she rushed to the other side of the bed
"Her hand" he said as he place his other hand over her stomach "she moved it, I think she's waking up" he yelled excitedly
Olivia was about to mention that maybe his exhaustion was beginning to show until she noticed Amanda's eyes fluttering "you're right, she's waking up" they quickly called for a doctor and they were both rushed out of the room so they could run some tests on the blonde.
Olivia and Barba waited for hours in the waiting area. Time was flowing by very slowly, they both paced the room much to the dislike of the area's other occupants but they payed them no mind. Finally Amanda's doctor appeared. The pair held their breath as she approached them "Well she has regained consciousness" Dr. Wilder began and Rafael and Olivia both breathed out a sigh of relief
"Is there any brain damage?" Barba asked timidly
Wilder paused before smiling and shaking her head "No, the swelling has gone down dramatically and all of our preliminary test show that she should make a full recovery. Of course she'll be staying several days at the least and I won't even begin to estimate a time to return to work" she paused and smiled at Olivia "but she is alright"
"Can we talk to her now?" Olivia asked, she needed to see Amanda awake with her own two eyes. The doctor's words were not enough at the moment.
"Yes but please only light conversation and not for too long, she is very tired and needs her rest"
"Of course" they both answer as they quickly made their way back to Amanda's room.
Barba entered first, he did so slowly and took in the sight of his lover awake in her bed. She was sitting up slightly, her face showed the exhaustion she felt but her eyes immediately met his as he entered "Raf" she smiled as she reached out for his hand. At that moment he knew that she was herself. She called him by the nickname he hated when others called him by it, but loved when the word would leave her lips and hers alone.
Olivia noticed the exchange between the two and felt like she was intruding on a personal moment, but she couldn't bring herself to leave. "Olivia?" Amanda said as she finally noticed the presence of her boss. Olivia walked to her side and grabbed the blonde's other hand and said "Hey", she mentally berated herself for her sudden loss of vocabulary. "How do you feel?" a stupid question Olivia thought
"Like I was hit by a truck" Amanda said without missing a beat and Benson and Rafael let out a small chuckle at the blonde's joke.
The three talked and stood in their own little world for nearly an hour before they heard a knock at the door. Another moment later and Harrison walk in, she was slightly startled to see Amanda awake, but showed genuine happiness for the room's occupants.
"Natalie Harrison?" Amanda questioned "What are you doing here?" she said not comprehending why someone she worked with on small occasions would be visiting her in the hospital. It was almost weird enough to have her Lieutenant waiting for her the last few days.
"Well it's not a social call I could tell you" Harrison chuckled slightly "I am truly glad to see you up detective, but I am here for your case, well your daughter's to be more precise"
"Jesse's?" Amanda exclaimed "Oh God, please tell me that you didn't put her in the system" she asked worriedly
"No, luckily your mother here was able to take care of her" Harrison said as she indicated Olivia, not realizing how everyone in the room tensed
"My mother?" Amanda repeated and looked at Olivia "Okay thank you, so since I'm awake I can verbally state that I allow 'my mother' to continue watching her until I'm out of the hospital"
Harrison nodded, "yes. It seems I have no more business here for now" she said but stopped at the door "But detective, I really implore you to update your paperwork so if God forbid something happens in the future, Jesse won't be in risk of entering the system" and with that the short woman was gone.
"Oh wow Liv" Amanda said after Harrison had left "You lied to CPS" she breathed "thank you so much. I just can't stand the thought of Jesse being in the system. I can't thank you enough. But will that effect anything with Noah... that you lied for me." Amanda paused and Olivia and Rafael shared a look "I can't even believe they bought that, I mean you... my mother?" she chuckled
Olivia looked down at her hand and reached out to take Amanda's "It's not a lie" she whispered, her voice failing her at that moment.
Amanda could not understand her "Excuse me?" Olivia took a deep breath and repeated it again, this time clearer and much stronger.
"It's not a lie"
A/N: So I did say that this chapter would be a bit longer than usual and it turned out it took me longer than usual to write haha :) The big reveal, or should I say it's fall out will be next chapter. This was the scene that I've had planned out from the beginning, for that reason it took so long to get to it. I am leaving for vacation this weekend and will be away from a computer for a whole week, I will try to have the next chapter up before then but I can make any promises. Again, thanks to everyone who has read this story and especially those who take the time to tell me what they think.
