A/N: The interchangeability of "Ben" and "Kylo Ren" is fully intentional in this chapter. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews.

The "Jedi facsimile" mentioned in this chapter is the one from TLJ found on Ahch-to. It's a little hard to find an image online, but I found one on Pinterest with the caption: "Here's the close up of the Jedi symbol in the cave on Ahch-to. You can really see the Ying Yang symbolism.". If you would like to search it up and take a better look than what was visible in the movie, I think you'll find it's pretty cool!

-_IX_-

The temple was how Ben remembered it, but the weather was warmer, and as a result the greenery, vines, thick-leafed plants, even tropical flowers consumed more of the crumbled stone of the structure. The sky threatened rain, heavy with clouds and the occasional sound of distant thunder.

He walked to the center of the temple's core; the stone architecture that provided a roof still mostly stood. The plants had only breached the edges. In the middle was a paved facsimile, an ancient thing, of what he could only assume was a Jedi holding a lightsaber. Yet, the Jedi was worked in half-black, half-white stone. It wasn't something he'd ever seen before.

Dismissing the facsimile as a curiosity, he took a seat upon it, legs crossed, to meditate, to balance himself before she arrived, even though he felt more balanced around her than he did anywhere else. He still wanted to be ready. There was too much on his mind.

He felt her arrival before he heard or saw her. The force became more active when she was near. Opening his eyes, he saw her standing in one of the archways into the temple. She looked small in the archway, dressed in pale, functional clothes, with her lightsaber strapped to her back. He felt something of a smile tug at his lips.

A moment passed wherein they simply looked at each other.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Meditating," he replied.

"You do that?" she asked, seeming surprised.

"Why wouldn't I?" he said.

"It just doesn't … seem like something you would do," she said.

"Of course it is something I would do," he said, more shortly than he intended. "It's useful."

She observed him for a moment, and then seemed to see the reason in his explanation. Walking into the center of the temple, she looked at the facsimile.

"I've seen that before," she said.

"You have?" he asked, glancing down at the black and white stones beneath him. "Where? What is it?"

"This was in the temple on Ahch-to," she said, pointing at it. "It looked just like it."

"The Ahch-to temple was built by the first Jedi," said Ben.

"I know," she said.

"What do you think it means?" he asked.

Rey moved over and sat near him on the light side of the facsimile, facing him on the dark, mirroring his pose, and he felt all at once disoriented by her proximity and the force between them. He'd almost forgot the question he'd asked or even about the facsimile upon which they sat.

"I don't know," she said, "How should I know? You're the one who went to Jedi school,"

"It's not called 'Jedi school'," he said, affronted.

She gave him something of a sideways smile, as if she were teasing him, or something like it. He wasn't familiar at all with those sorts of interactions and felt lost.

Glancing down over the stones, and then at the crumbling temple around them she said, "I like it here, it's peaceful."

Then she began to look sad.

Ah, the rebellion.

"Rey," he said.

"What am I going to do, Ben?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he said.

She sighed.

"But," he said, and her eyes came back up to meet his, "I feel like a solution will present itself."

"How?" she asked. "With the force?"

"Maybe," he said, not sure at all.

"I'll need to figure something out quickly," she said. "They'll notice I'm gone soon."

He glanced aside towards the direction in which his giant raven of a ship sat, silent.

"I don't have much time, either," he said.

"Why do you stay there?" she asked. "With the First Order?"

"Where else would it make sense for me to go?" he asked.

She left unsaid what he knew she was thinking.

"Impossible," he said, glancing away.

"It's not impossible," she said quickly.

"Yes, it is," he said to her, firm. "Think for a moment how much death and destruction I've caused the Resistance. Just think about it."

He watched tears begin to fill her eyes and didn't know if they came from thinking about all the horrible things he'd done, or due to the impossibility of the situation, or both.

"And what would happen to the First Order if I disappeared?" he said. "What would happen to the Resistance without my interference in the First Order's intelligence about the Resistance?"

"You can't stay there, Ben," she said, her tension rising. "They'll find you out and they'll kill you."

He couldn't stop the flinch that came automatically when she said that, considering the assassination attempt that morning, in his room. She stared at him.

"What?" she asked.

"What?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"What?" she demanded, leaning in, refusing nothing for an answer.

He gave her a look.

A familiar determination crossed her face; she flung her hand out and used the force on him, she actually used the force on him, so she could discern what he was hiding in his mind. He fought back, holding onto his memories and pushing against her mind, against her attack. They hung in stalemate until he threw out his hand with the force to send her physically flying backward, out of the facsimile and onto the main temple floor. His throw broke her concentration; she hadn't expected it, and he maintained his memories as his own, but was shaken by her use of the force on him. He stood the moment he could manage it.

"What was that, Rey?" he asked, demanded, furious.

She was still on her back, perhaps the breath knocked from her by the throw.

"You weren't going to tell me," she said, clambering to her feet, "so I had to find out, somehow!"

"By forcing it from me?" he asked in disbelief.

"As if you've never tried to do the same to me!" she said, her face challenging him to deny it.

"You were my enemy!" he said. "You had information I needed!"

"Well, you have information I need!" she said.

"Am I your enemy?" he asked.

That gave her pause, and there was a moment wherein the haze of agitation between them thinned.

"How could you be?" she asked, her voice gone soft, though she seemed hesitant to meet his gaze. "You're… the only person who seems to understand what I am."

Her words endeared her to him.

"Instead of rashly rushing in to take what you want," he said, "why don't you try persuasion?"

"Like suggesting you tell me what I want to know," she said, "and waving my hand like this?"

"No," he said, almost wanting to laugh. "Talking. Without the force."

"Oh," she said, as if that option hadn't occurred to her.

"You do know what you were just doing would be considered using the dark side of the force, don't you?" he asked her.

"What?" she said, looking surprised, and maybe a little horrified. "No, I didn't know that."

"Taking what you want against someone's will is the very definition of the dark side of the force," said Kylo Ren.

"But it was for your own good," she objected. "You wouldn't tell me what happened to you, and-," she pointed at him, "I know something did happen."

"If something happened, how is you knowing about it going to help me?" he asked.

"I can't know that until you tell me!" she said.

She was so persistent, he could barely stand it.

"Ben," she said, more gently, stepping closer, "I want to know because I'm concerned about you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Why not?" he asked, feeling cold.

"Because," she began, then seemed at a loss for words.

"Find it," he commanded, willing her to find the words. To tell him. He wanted it. He wanted it so badly.

"I don't want to lose this," she said, gesturing between them, "Do you?"

"No," he said at once, his voice coming out less solid than he would have liked.

She stood there, gazing up at him silently, withholding from inquiring further, but somehow more persuasive than anything else she had done. He felt his stubbornness cracking at the seams.

"I don't want you to worry," he finally let out. "I know you will, you'll blow it all out of proportion, and you have enough to worry about with the Resistance."

"What happened?" she asked, her eyes moving across his face in the same way… that day. In the elevator. He didn't know if he could trust her like this. Was she manipulating him? Did she know the effect she had on him?

She reached out and touched his gloved wrist, and he bit back a flinch.

"Ben," she said, all gentleness. "Please, tell me."

He felt cornered. He felt as if there was no escape. He had to get out.

Pulling his wrist away from her fingers in a sharp movement, he stepped away from her.

"No," he said.

She had the gall to look furious and something clicked in his mind.

"Hah!" he said, pointing at her. "I knew you were manipulating me!"

"I was not!" she objected. "I was persuading you!"

"They're the same thing," he replied.

"But that's exactly what you told me to do!" she said, throwing her hands up. "You're a terrible teacher."

"I never promised to teach you the art of persuasion," he said, "and besides… you're very good already."

"Really?" she asked, momentarily forgetting to be irritated.

"Yes," he said, brushing off his sleeve, "but it's disturbing."

"Oh," she said, disappointed.

"Would you like me to teach you Jedi meditation techniques?" he asked her, completely changing tack.

"Yes," she said, appearing interested. "I would like that."

"I will," he said, "if you promise not to force-attack my mind again."

"Oh," she said, slight embarrassment crossing her features. He found it adorable, but refused to let it show. "I'm sorry about that, I won't do it again."

"Good," he said, but then she pointed at him suddenly, and he leaned back impulsively.

"As long as you don't force-attack my mind again, either," she said, giving him a stare-down.

Holding up his hands in truce, he said: "You have my word."

Then she smiled, and he felt warmth fill him.

-_O_-

"How much did my uncle manage to teach you on Ahch-to?" he asked her.

They were sitting cross-legged facing each other on the ancient Jedi facsimile, again. The day had begun to wane, and orange rays of late afternoon began to filter through the rich greenery that grew nearly everywhere outside of the temple's center. It only reminded Kylo Ren that his brief time with her was passing too quickly.

"Not much," she said. "I've told you a lot of it already. We managed to barely touch on the biggest concepts."

Kylo looked at her.

"He explained the force to me," she said.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"He said it was in the balance of things," she said.

"Interesting," he remarked.

"Is that not what he told you?" she asked.

"Well," said Ben, "you know that the Jedi order isn't really based on balance."

"Then how do they use the force so well?" she asked.

"How do Sith use the force so well?" he asked in reply. "They're not balanced, either."

Rey watched him, seeming to wait for more answers. He loved how curious and anxious she was to learn. He'd missed it.

"Perhaps that's why the only people who can use the force act as Jedi or Sith. The ones who are extremely strong in the force are those who can overcome the imposed philosophy imbalances to wield it," he said.

"Have you been both?" she asked him suddenly, surprising him. "Jedi and Sith?"

"I don't know," he said, honestly. "I've never been able to understand what I am."

"I feel the same way!" she said, excited.

"Yes, well," he said, a little taken aback by her intense enthusiasm, "now we are not alone."

The smile she gave him was warm, radiant, disconcerting.

"Now, close your eyes and feel the force," he said, closing his own.

He allowed himself to become immediately aware of the force around them, of the push and pull between himself and Rey, and the glorious colors that erupted when their forces combined. It was incomprehensible, but, once riveted, he did not want to take his mind's eye away.

"Can you feel it?" he asked.

"I feel it," she said, softly, and the force around her pulsed as she spoke, as if both her words and her force said it, meant it, felt it. The force around her was so warm and generous he found himself greedy for more of it, and he had the sudden desire to look at her.

Opening his eyes, her found her gaze already upon him.

She held up her hand, palm out, for him to meet her on the center line of the facsimile.

"But wait," he said, yet his voice came out gentler than normal, "I haven't even begun to teach you how to balance the force inside you."

"This feels like balance already," she replied.

He was at a loss for words, because it did, and because she knew it, too.

"Rey," he said, "I won't always be with you."

She looked as if she wanted to protest that topic, but he went on.

"When we are apart, you'll need this," he said. "You'll need these skills. They'll help you."

She gazed at him, then sighed and dropped her hand.

"Fine," she said, closing her eyes again.

He wanted to smile at her. She was so rash at times, but also so enthusiastic about learning and knowing new things. Her peculiarities threatened to prick him, but he maintained his focus and returned to his meditative state.

"Feel the force," he said, "and feel both dark and light in you. Understand that neither can exist without the other."

He heard her sigh out a breath, and he knew what she was feeling.

"I almost always converse with the force while I meditate," he said.

"How does one converse with the force?" he heard her voice ask, perhaps confused.

"Poorly, to be frank," he said, "It never answers as clearly as you or me. But the process allows me to come to terms with it for another day."

"Your relationship with the force sounds downright antagonistic," she said with a sprinkling of humor.

"Perhaps it is," he said, though the idea gave him a certain deep sadness. "I have had my entire life torn apart by the force. Or, perhaps better said, by those who wanted to take advantage of my strength with it."

"That's not the force's fault," said Rey. "That's the fault of people."

He paused to consider.

"That's true," he admitted.

He opened his eyes to see she was looking at him, again.

"How am I supposed to teach you if you keep looking at me instead of meditating?" he asked, and she had the gall to look sheepish. "We don't have much time."

Her countenance turned sad.

"I don't like that," she said.

"You don't like what?" he asked.

"That our time is so limited," she said. "That we must be secretive, that no one can know. I don't like it at all."

"You know it's necessary," he said.

"But if they knew you like I know you-," she began, but he had to cut her off.

"They know me enough," he said sharply, feeling a twinge of familiar anger.

"Ben," she said, perhaps condescendingly, "I tried to kill you."

"Several times," he added.

"And now look!" she said, spreading her hands. "We are peacefully meditating together."

"I'm trying to teach you how to meditate and you keep interrupting, you meant to say," he replied.

"But the point is," she said, holding up a finger, "We could be peacefully meditating together and wouldn't be attempting to kill each other."

"That's true," he conceded. "Is that the point, though?"

"I'm saying it is," she replied, and he bit back a smile.

"I can't possibly invest the time in each one of your associates to allow them to get to know me," he said. "You know that. Besides, I would hate that."

She laughed a little at that.

"It would be terrible, and you know it," he said.

"The idea is definitely amusing," she said.

"But be reasonable, Rey," he said, shaking his head, "You know it just isn't possible. There'll be assassins after me wherever I go."

She seemed to pick up on that and he winced before he could stop himself.

"Wait, are you-," began Rey.

"No," he said, cutting her off.

"Have you had assassins after you?"

"No," he said again, cursing himself.

Her eyes widened.

"You have!" she cried.

"Just one," he said, and then for emphasis: "Just one!"

"One is enough to kill you, Ben!" she said.

"He didn't manage," said Ben.

"When did this happen?" she asked.

"This morning," he said.

"Ben!" she chided, as if he'd done something wrong.

"What?" he inquired wearily.

"How can you act so normal after such a thing?" she asked.

"I suppose it wasn't surprising," he replied. "Although, there was something strange about it."

"Tell me," she said.

"He called me a 'Jedi', and seemed to loathe me for it," said Ben. "It seemed to be his personal motive behind the attempt."

"Called you a Jedi?" asked Rey, making a funny face. "How weird!"

"I would have to agree," he replied.

"Why would he think you're a Jedi?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I would think burning down the Jedi temple would be enough proof that I am not."

Rey cringed at that. It seemed to bother her. He didn't care much. She wasn't there. She didn't know what it was like.

"Sorry," said Kylo Ren with a one-shouldered shrug, a wan offering.

"Well, there's nothing to be done about it, now, I suppose," said Rey.

"About which? The assassination attempt or the burning down of the Jedi temple?" he asked.

"Ben!" she chided.

"You do know why I did it, don't you?" he asked, feeling very calm. Almost rebellious.

She stared at him, hard, for a long moment. Finally, she blinked and glanced away and admitted from between her teeth, "Yes."

He found that concession very interesting.

"Not that I think it was right," she quickly added.

"Of course you don't," he said, glancing away in exasperation.

They spent the next several moments in weighted silence. He refused to resume talking first. She'd opened up a particular can of worms that he didn't like at all.

He could feel her glancing at him, looking him over, and he waited for her to speak. Suddenly she stood, and he was engulfed by the fear that she would leave.

"Rey," he said, looking up at her.

"What?" she replied.

He glanced down at the white half of the Jedi facsimile, realizing his fear of losing time with her was greater than his pride.

"Please," he said, "have a seat."

She mulled in place for a moment, and then he watched her sit, cross-legged, upon the white stones. He couldn't have expected how pleased he was to see her return to her place.

Her rightful place as my equal.

"Ben," she said, her voice soft, gentle, endeared.

He blinked.

"Did you just…," he began, not knowing how to finish.

"I felt it, what you thought, through the force between us," she said.

He felt embarrassed and warmth pushed at his collar. She seemed to find this amusing, which made it worse.

"Don't blush-," she started.

"I'm not blushing," he objected.

"I'm flattered," she said gracefully, and then held out her hand to him, palm out. "Now… because I can, because light-years aren't separating us, because I have you right here beside me for this moment, I want to touch you."

He glanced at her hand, at its pale, feminine radiance, and was reminded of his secret worship of its form, touch, and balance. Recalling the double-helix starburst of touching her, he felt his fingers tremble as he began to move his hand towards hers.

"Take off your gloves!" she insisted.

He couldn't take them off fast enough.

-_IX_-