"Guys, guys, you won't believe this!" Roy shouted as he dashed down the stairs. "I just got OVER NINE THOUSAND kills on Endless Melee!"
"What?! Nine thousand?!" replied Mewtwo, "There is NO WAY that can be right…can it?"
"I think it's right," said Giygas, "Now shut up, I just spotted Fox. Hey Krystal! Get down here!"
"Coming!"
"Hey, Giygas," asked Roy, "Why are you so interested in Fox?"
"I suspect something of that asswipe," replied Giygas. "I mean, he's in his Command outfit, and we all know Star Fox Command was a load of bullshit."
"OK guys, what's so important that you call me all the way from-" Krystal stopped as she noticed Fox on the live camera feed. He was talking to Falco.
"So uh, Foxy, you been awfully quiet, something on your mind?" asked Falco.
"Well, I need to get something off my chest," replied Fox.
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Do you ever wonder why you're here and Krystal isn't?"
"No…well, yeah, kinda, but I thought, y'now, I just got lucky or something…"
"Can you keep a secret?"
"No, but I can try."
"This is serious business, Falco!"
"OK, OK! I won't tell anyone. What's the secret?"
"I…asked Master Hand not to invite Krystal."
"YOU WHAT?!"
"It's dangerous here, Falco. I don't want her to be hurt-"
"FOX, YOU ASSWIPE! FIGHTERS DO NOT DIE HERE! YOU STUPID SHIT! THE WORST THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN IS THIS!" On that word, Falco pulled out a dagger and stabbed himself in the chest. As he removed the dagger, his body turned stone-grey, and a large coin-shaped object appeared under his feet.
Fox gasped. Falco had (tried to) kill himself just to prove a point. Was Fox really so stupid?
Meanwhile in the basement, everyone shouted so loudly at once one could not tell who said what.
"What the SHIT?!"
"That's a new kind of low!"
"So that's it, huh…"
Krystal, however, kept silent. Roy looked into her eyes. They were not the peaceful blue, instead they were two, angry black slits. "Now Krystal," said Roy, "Don't do anything you might regret-"
Krystal had already taken her weapon and left, though. Roy sighed. This is NOT good.
Fox stepped outside the castle to get some fresh air. I feel like an asshole, he thought to himself.
"Well, maybe it's because you are an asshole!"
Fox turned around. There was Krystal, her weapon pointed at Fox's throat. "K-Krystal? What are you-"
Fox was interrupted by Krystal stabbing her weapon through Fox's chest, lifting Fox's body into the air and slamming it into the ground. As the weapon left Fox's chest, his body began to turn stone-cold. Krystal turned Fox's trophy on its side (while being careful not to touch the stand, lest Fox be revived), sat on Fox's head and…peed on his face. (WTF? I thought this woman was decent…)
With that, Krystal lifted the trophy and threw into the castle's moat. (Yes, the Brawl party is at Peach's Castle. Yeah, maybe I should've mentioned that.) Krystal spat at the trophy as it floated down into a nearby lake.
Roy paced the floor, worried. "Grr…if she kills Fox we'll be in deep trouble…" he thought to himself.
The doors burst open to reveal Krystal, who looked contempt. Ticked off, but contempt.
"Don't any of you say a single word to me until tomorrow. Got it?" There was a hint of I'm pissed off and will kill you if you talk to me in Krystal's tone
"Y-Yes ma'am!" everyone replied.
Krystal walked over to the TV, put on some headphones and started playing Metroid Prime. No one heard a word out of her for the rest of the day.
Author Commentary: (I'm allowed to do that right?)
Yeah. This is pretty much what I think of Star Fox Command. It sucks. They pretty much made Fox a big dick and ruined the series. What's worse, there are NINE endings. Of course there's no doubt in my mind the canon ending (If that horrible game is even canon at all) is the one where Fox and Krystal have a son. I guess Star Fox is officially dead. There's no word of whether or not another SF will come out. Yeah. SF joins Mother in the video game graveyard.
