Time for some England-Massachusetts conflict! This probably isn't going to end well…..
Rated T because of swearing, some minor themes, and (comedic) violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
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"My name's Honey Boo Boo child…." The TV blared. Massachusetts wasn't sure how much longer he could take this hell. He turned to his younger brother Mississippi, who was laughing at everything the little pageant queen said and most likely, had his hand shoved down his pants. Probably scratching his dirty, hillbilly balls, Massachusetts thought to himself.
"Isn't this a re-run?" He asked desperately.
No response.
"Mississippi?"
No response.
"Oh, I see how it is. Fine then but just know I didn't want it to come to this." Massachusetts cleared his throat and then in a high-pitch voice screeched, "MISSSSSSSYYYYYY!" Mississippi was instantly jolted from his daze. He turned his head and glared at Massachusetts.
In a low, menacing voice, Mississippi said, "I thought I fuckin' told you not to call me that." Massachusetts smirked.
"Correction. It's actually 'Fucking'."
"I'm gonna-" Mississippi was interrupted by someone behind them clearing their throat. They both turned around to see who it was.
"Who is it?" Massachusetts asked his brother in a hushed tone.
"Those two nation dudes."
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
It was them. Germany and that ugly-ass England. Wait…Massachusetts took that last thought back.
"Guten tag. I'm Germany and this," He paused (probably to point at England), "England. We just need your names. We just need to make sure neither of you are….international threats." Massachusetts scoffed.
"Oh, well that's no problem." Mississippi began. "I'm Mis-" Massachusetts cut him off.
"Don't you dare say a word!"
"Why not?"
"Because I said so."
"What make your 'say so' so important?" Massachusetts heard his own voice say back. Oh… he didn't say that; it was that stupid Englishmen.
"I'm his older brother."
"So?" Massachusetts laughed. He laughed so hard. England sounded so stupid.
"It's funny how you say that now but about 237 years ago you would've slapped a certain someone for doing the exact thing Miss-I mean my brother is doing to me right now." Massachusetts smiled smugly. He heard Mississippi stifle a laugh.
"How dare you!?" England shouted.
"How dare you!? Acting like I should be kind to you! Please! As if I, Massachusetts, would be kind to you after everything you did to me! The taxes! The brutality against my and my father's people! The fucking Boston Massacre! So just shut the fuck up! Because you most definitely don't deserve my respect! Look at you, you fucking martyr! Begging for sympathy and forgiveness! Just-just shut up! At least….at least you can fucking see!" Massachusetts was out of breath. If he had any left, he would've laughed at the sound of his own voice. Whenever Massachusetts got angry, he would begin to sound like a true Bostonian and lose his stupid English accent.
"Well… you wouldn't really understand what countries have to do!" England said. He sounded as if he regretted the words the minute he said them.
Too little too late.
Without caring who or what he hit, Massachusetts took a swing at the air. His fist made contact with something, no, someone. The person let out a pained yelp. Massachusetts smiled. Guessing on who the people in the room were, the only one who would've yelped is that stupid England. Satisfied with his results, Massachusetts stormed out of the room. After a few steps into the hallway, Massachusetts screamed in his true Bostonian voice, "Kiss my star-spangled ass!"
Germany and Mississippi looked at each other with wide eyes.
"I'm Mississippi, by the way."
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"But I wanna go upstairs!" Whined the younger boy. He was a funny looking kid. His ears were big and looked like they stuck out from his head, his bright blue eyes were framed by big, black, thick-frame glasses, and his blonde hair was neatly gelled back. He was dressed in a blue suit with a white dress shirt and a red tie. There was a little American flag pin at the bottom of his tie. The kid would've been considered cute….until he opened his big mouth.
"Silencio, acho!" Puerto Rico said in hushed tone. He was currently stuck in the basement with his incredibly annoying "baby brother" D.C. Why did his padre have to punish him? He didn't even do anything wrong!
"Why are we even down here?" D.C. asked with slight annoyance in his tone. Puerto Rico sighed. Didn't he already explain this to the little chico?
"Because Padre's friends are coming to make sure our brothers and sisters aren't threats. You're not even a state so you can't be a threat," D.C. pouted at this but Puerto Rico continued anyways, "and I am a territory. I guess Padre is just being a little overprotective with his 'favorite territory'."
"You say that like it's a bad thing….."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't! Now, just shut up and go play on your stupid I-phone or something."
"But I want to go talk politics with the other countries!"
"Like they'd ever listen to a ten year-old."
"Maybe they would!"
"Doubtful…" Tears began to form at the corners of D.C.'s eyes. Puerto Rico felt a little guilty. The kid was annoying but he it wasn't fun to see him cry…. "Hey! Tell you what! When the countries leave, I'll make sure you can have as much time as you want to talk politics with Padre! How does that sound?" D.C. wiped the tears out of his eyes.
"Really?" He asked shyly. Puerto Rico nodded. His Padre always listened to him, well…..at least on important issues. Or when it came to D.C. "Thank you so much!"
"Shhh, hermano!" Puerto scolded while holding a finger to his lips.
"Oh, right. Sorry…" D.C. said sheepishly, averting his eyes to the floor. Puerto Rico smiled. He lied. The kid was freaking adorable… even when he opened his big mouth.
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D.C.'s so cute! Don't forget to review! Also check out my other Hetalia story, The Seven. Thank ya'll so much! Bye!
Translations:
Silencio- silence
Acho- Puerto Rican slang for "man" or "dude"
Padre- Father
Chico- boy
Hermano- Brother
Guten tag- Hello
