I've just dodged a CD Emily threw at me, fucking hell. She's being a bitch, currently trying to kill me, why? I cant tell you, I've no idea. Something's crawled up her arse and fucking died in there. "Calm the fuck down you psycho!" I scream when a shoe hits the side of my head. That's it, she's so going to get it.
I lunged at her and when she's pinned to the ground, I'm straddling her and holding her hands above her head, she's still spitting venom and trying to kill me with her eyes. "You're such a fucking bitch Katie! Why are you even here? Go and be a cunt somewhere else, for fuck's sake!" Her hips push upwards, almost making me lose balance but I've managed to press down harder, making her gasp for air. "God I hate you sooo fucking much! You don't even care that today's mum's birthday! You don't care, you never do. You didn't fucking care that it was the day she's died, no you've fucked off with your stupid girlfriend to Brighton and got laid. She never should have given birth to you, you ungrateful little bitch!"
I'm staring in shock at my little sister who's glaring so hard after my hand's imprinted itself on her cheek. I've punched her, I fucking punched Emily. Not a slap, no, a proper punch, my fist landing perfectly on her fucking cheekbone which is swelling like hell. "Fuck." I mumble and scramble off of her, reaching for her hand to pull her up but she's snatched it away like I've burned her. "Don't you fucking touch me."
The door opens and my dad barges in, followed by Jack. They've heard the commotion and must have known it's serious when we've gone quite. "What the hell?!" My father's booming voice demands when his eyes land on Emily's red face. "Did you fucking hit your sister?!" Before I can get a word out, defend myself, his rough hands drag me to my feet and he's shaking me like I'm a doll. "Where the fuck do you think you are, a fucking barn?! There's no violence in this house, and you fucking well know it." He's seething, a vein on his forehead looks like it's ready to burst and the colour of his face makes me worry.
He looks ready to have a heart-attack. "Dad I'm" "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
He's let go of me and wrenched open my drawer, throwing random clothes at the floor.
Oh my god, he's kicking me out. "But dad! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...she's provocative and I" But his eyes make me shut up and gulp, they're so fucking angry and disappointed that I want to shoot myself.
He'll never forgive me for that. "I'm a teenager, where the fuck do you think I can go? You cant throw me out!"
"Oh I can." He hisses, reaching for my suitcase on top of the wardrobe. "And you will never again set a foot into this house, do you understand me?!"
Never again? He cant be serious.
Emily's guilty and so fucking terrified eyes lock with mine and she's jumped up, clinging to dad's arm so he wont get the suitcase down. "Don't do that, dad, don't. She's not attacked me or anything, I've made her slap me. Please don't make her leave, please daddy." Tears are streaming down her face, the shock, fear and guilt making her sob hysterically. "Please, don't."
"Emily." His voice softened instantly when he's looked at her, fucking wanker. "This is not your fault, do you hear me? Not your fault, Katie knows the rules."
"But...but she's not hit anyone in years." Emily should stop talking now but she cant. "Please, please don't let her go, don't make her go." He shakes her off and goes on to packing my shit. Fuck.
My eyes try to find Jack's but he cant even fucking look at me, backbone-less tosser. He knows dad wont ever forgive him if he'll be on my side now. "Jack, please." But he sighs and leaves my room, his head hanging, but that doesn't help me much now, does it? Great that he feels awful, he fucking should.
Fuck, I knew that I'd be so out of here if I hit her, but it wasn't like I could help myself. It's just happened. I know better, I fucking do, my big sister has fought me once. Dad's sent her on the fucking streets afterwards. Even now that he's forgave her, she's still not welcome to move back in. I knew it and I still did it. God I'm so fucking stupid.
You see, with dad there's only one thing that is the breaking point-violence.
If he catches us, high as fucking satellites we'll be grounded. If we steal, bunk off, run away the same but he cant tolerate violence of any kind.
I guess that's a good quality about him but right now it doesn't feel very fair.
So when he's done packing my stuff, random things he can get his hands on, the suitcase lays by my legs and he's watching me expectantly. "Don't make it harder than it has to be, Katie." His voice almost begs me and I'm fucking considering making a scene, making it as hard as it only could get so he'll suffer. But I don't.
Wordlessly I take the suitcase and turn round, walking down the stairs.
He's next to me by the door, handing me an envelope with, what I am sure is, a grand in it. "Take care of yourself, Katie. Don't fuck your life up now, this doesn't have to be a bad thing." Fucking hell, he's trying to make me feel better? He's out of his fucking mind, that's what he is.
"Don't worry dad, I'll fucking shine." With a head-shake I take the money and look him in the eye. "Amazing timing, really, Naomi's not even here."
"That's what the money is for. It doesn't have to mean that you have to move in with her, you're eighteen, Jesus, a child." Now it's setting in, the gravity of what he's doing but I don't fucking care. He wanted me out? I'm out, so fucking out he wont ever see me again. "Bye dad."
When his arms reach for me I step out of the door, not about to let him fucking hug me. That's something he needs to do for himself, not for me. He can go to hell for all I care. "Bye."
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I knock twice, biting my nails as my eyes dart around in fear of someone following me. Who? I've no idea, but with my bags and all I feel like that would make one hell of a cover-page. "Katie? What are you doing here?"
"Can I stay for a while? I need to figure out where I'll live."
Cook furrows his brows and eyes my suitcase, bags and purse with a frown. "Can't you go somewhere else? I don't think that I'll feel very good about you living here." He adds that I should go to Naomi's place.
"If I wanted her to know I'd be at Effy's right now."
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Cooks watching me over his beer bottle that's fucking glued to his lips. Since the moment I've moved in, two weeks ago, he's been watching me like I am a bomb ready to fucking go off. "What?!"
"Have you found a room, or a flat or something?" He puts a newspaper on the table demonstratively. "I've highlighted a few offers that sound okay."
Turning the tab off I walk over and look at what he thinks is my future. "You think I should live in Easton?"
"Well, I don't think that you've plenty options, to be honest. Your budget's cut, you cant afford anything bigger or better so yeah...you should live there." He's shrugging his shoulders like it doesn't effect him at all where I'll live. Maybe it doesn't.
Ever since Brighton he's stopped acting like a mate and seems to only tolerate me. It's bugging the hell out of me but I cant do anything about it, can I? He doesn't like me much and he doesn't have to, well that is Naomi's opinion.
When I told her that he's hating my guts she responded with a shrug, telling me that it didn't matter. I begged her to talk to him but she wouldn't. 'I'm not getting in-between that, Katie. Sorry.' Were her actual words. I guess I can understand that, but it still hurts.
She doesn't want to have an awkward conversation with her mate, even if that means he's going to hate me forever.
Naomi.
She's coming home next week and I still have no idea where I'll be by then. Cook doesn't want me here, that much is clear, and I haven't really made it my goal to find something else. College is a drag, when I'm going that is, and hiding in here isn't much better.
Last week he's told me to get lost for two nights because Effy would be over.
I'm paying him rent, I'm not a social-case but he still doesn't like it. Me being here. I guess he can think of better places for me, hell perhaps or anywhere away from him and his mates. It was last week too when I've found his half smoked Spliff and finished it off.
I thought he's going to kill me, he was so angry. Drunk and angry. We ended up screaming at each other for half the night. 'You want me to fuck off, then? Imagine what Naomi will do to you when something happens to me, you fucking tosser.' I've smirked at him after he went off at me for being alive and ruining everything.
It wasn't a nice night.
"Well, Katie?" I know there's more he wants to say, so much more but he bites his tongue..not at all eager to get on Naomi's bad side. "You cant stay here forever and I don't want you here when Naomi gets home."
"Why is that such a problem?"
"She doesn't know you're not home any-more, she'll think it's my fault you ran away and that I've been hiding you and probably shagging you as well." He looks away with a worried expression. "She'll think it's because I'm in love with you or something."
"Are you?"
He's looking at me, like I'm a marsian with five, green heads. "Course not, you're a fucking child but she's in love and wont think clearly. She'll think I've tried shagging you for ages, and that I've now managed."
I roll my eyes, god he's such a pussy. "Well, I wouldn't come near your desease-coated pinkie cock anyway and she trusts me."
"Yeah? Sure about that? She thinks you're home, well and just a bitch that doesn't want to Skype. When she finds out you've neglected college, ran away, moved in with me and spent your days hiding in here she'll fucking flip." A nasty smirk is thrown my way. "Enjoy having a girlfriend, you wont for long."
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I haven't moved out and Cook's on his way to pick Naomi up from the airport with Effy. I don't know what I'm expecting, hopefully she wont go to my house and look for me. Na, not in the net-time.
I mean, everyone texts and asks if you're home before visiting, no one's coming round any-more. Too big of a chance you're not home.
I already got a text asking and I told her I'm not at the house, currently. Don't think she got the meaning though, how would she?
I guess she'll ask me where I am after she's done unpacking, or at least reuniting with her family.
My heart starts pounding when I hear Cook turn the key in the lock and open the door. "Oh my god, finally. How's she look? Everything okay?" I ramble on before he is able to get a foot in. His face is stoic and I'm hit with one of his newly famous death-glares that he's perfected for me. "God, could you stop being a twat? I just want to know how she looked and if everything is okay."
"Ask her." He spits and makes room for Naomi to enter.
My heart stopped pounding and now it's so fucking silent I think I'll die. "Hey baby." She says with a small smile, looking around the place which is covered in my stuff. Here a jumper, here CD's and DVD'S, here some shoes and coats and so on. Naomi nods to herself and places an arm around my waist, slowly pulling me in.
Her lips taste like vanilla and I close my eyes, mesmerising it so I'll have that memory when she leaves my lying arse. "How've you been?"
I'm still too shocked to say anything, she's here. Here in Cook's dirty flat I've been hiding out in, and she doesn't look like she's angry. That's what unsettles me. She should be screaming her lungs out and demand answers, but she is not. She's lovely and smiling and apparently happy to see me. "Uh"
"Plenty happened, yeah?" I nod mutely.
She's biting her lip and sends Cook a look he seems to understand, his mean eyes are locked with mine again and he's smirking before leaving the flat. Fucking whistling to himself. Oh god, is she going to explode now? "I told him to be nicer to you." Shaking her head she walks in fully and moves in a circle, taking in all my shit that's laying about every free spot in the room. "Got comfortable here, then? Cant imagine living with that prick, specially not when he'd hate my guts."
"I don't think that he hates me...just not a fan." I mumble and watch her, carefully analysing every move she makes like she's a wild animal ready to pounce.
"It's hate, I'm sorry." Chuckling Naomi reaches for my hand but I flinch and it makes her brow furrow. "Doesn't mean I hate you." Oh god, it's not that Naomi, I think as a headache starts. "I'm...how was the trip?"
"Fine." She pulls me into a lose hug, her hands clasped behind my neck and mine go automatically to her waist. "But I really don't want to talk about it now."
"You want to talk about what I'm doing here, don't you?"
We look into each other's eyes for a long time, not saying a word and it's starting to make my blood run cold. She's so dumping me.
Just when I'm a moment away from fainting she shakes her head and leans in to kiss me slowly. "I really don't want to talk." Is whispered against my life-less lips. "Haven't had a shag in a month, we'll chat later."
I cant do much than obey, happy that at least for now she's not leaving me.
Instead she's pushing me gently towards the sofa I'm currently living on. When my arse hits the cushions Naomi moves to sit on my thighs, straddling me. Her lips rip free from mine and work their way down my neck, slowly, and I have no idea why but when her right hand reaches my tit, under my shirt, I push her shoulders and block any chance of her coming closer.
She's frowning and I am too, not having a clue why the fuck I am being a dick now. "I'm sorry"
"S fine. What's wrong?" She breaths, reaching across my arms-barricade to stroke my cheek lovingly. "Are you not happy to see me?"
It's so fucking absurd I have to laugh. Me not happy seeing her? God, I'm dying of happiness but it's hard to let it happen when you're scared you'll be single right after she's cum. "Right. Very funny, Katie."
"No, no. Sorry." My eyes trace her face, now worried looking, and I smile slightly, almost sadly. "I just...can you promise not to leave me?"
"What, ever?!" She exclaims, horrified. "How could I promise that? Katie!" Leaning forward I press my lips to hers, trying to calm her down but it doesn't work and she's pushing me back. "Wait...what happened? Did you do something stupid? Another hooker or something? I promise I wont leave you, as long as you've not cheated I wont. And you haven't." Her voice loses its certainty and she's asking now. "Have you?"
"No."
"All right." A huge breath leaves her tense body and she's already more relaxed again. "Then, everything else wont be enough to make me leave. Okay?"
"Are you not angry that I'm here?"
A sigh leaves her lips and her fingers tug on my hair gently. "I don't know why you're here, do I? I don't think you'd be here because you want it, so it has to have a reason which is enough for me. Okay?" I nod. "But if you stay here instead of coming home with me I will be royally pissed."
She cant be asking if I'm moving in, is she? No. "Please don't ask me if I'm moving in."
"Are you? I mean, you could. I've room for you. But you could also just stay as long as you need and we'll figure something else out after you've told me what's happened." And just because this is the best answer she could have given me I push my hips up, grab her waist and turn her around so she's laying on her back and I'm on top of her, my hips pushing into her. "God I love you."
"Glad to see you've missed me." I kiss the smirk off of her face and she's left moaning my name instead.
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