A/N: My apologies for the wait! I've probably rewritten this chapter about 4-5 times and I'm still not totally satisfied, but I've honestly put forth so much effort that I'm willing to go ahead and post what I've written. Also, this chapter will be divided into two parts instead of a single post like I'd originally planned. It simply ran way too long. Look out for an epilogue as well.
EXTRA NOTES: Now that other content has come out following the movie, we know that Ben sensed his mother surviving the attack in TLJ. Also, another element for this project that I was going to include has been confirmed to be taken from Leia, but I've decided to include it regardless. For any further updates on my Reylo fanfiction projects, check my Reylo side blog on Tumblr: reyloisblessed.
SONG INSPIRATION(S): Vengeance - Zack Hemsey
WARNINGS: nothing major this time, just some bickering between Ben and Rose
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Ben's lightsaber captures her attention for the umpteenth time as they fly in silence, her mind traveling back to the last moments before they'd left the room on Cloud City. After his confession about Luke, Ben had gone to the workbench, taken the cracked kyber crystal and seated himself in the center of the room, legs folded beneath him and hands resting on his knees. His palms faced the ceiling with the crystal resting in his right hand.
It caught the light from the window, winking red.
For a long time, the world around them was utterly silent, Ben's eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. Then, with a shocked exhale the crystal levitated above his palm, a soft rose glow illuminating his face. Rey stepped closer, enrapt, as he fell deeper into mediation, the tension of his body melting away and an alluring calmness radiating from him.
The pinkish hue of the crystal was changing, paling. Her eyes grew wide with amazement as she watched. Lighter and lighter it grew, illuminating the rift within the crystal. It looked like...
A scar.
The crystal is a mirror of him, she'd thought.
Afterward, he rose slowly and reassembled his weapon, not bothered by Rey as she hovered around his shoulder. She hadn't asked, but...
"Ask Rey." Ben's voice jolts her from the memory.
She smiles awkwardly, feeling like a meddlesome child. Nibbling at her lip, she whispers. "What did you do?"
He smirks as he stares out at the stars. "I purified my crystal." comes the simple reply.
She waits for him to explain further; he doesn't.
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Maz stands at the rubble of her old home as Rey and Ben approach, evidence of the once great castle cutting gargantuan shadows across the landscape. Behind them, the sun kisses the horizon, bleeding gold and fire across the sky. Ben slows, his shoulders stiff and brittle as he meets Maz's probing stare. Rey ignores their silent exchange and steps up to Maz who turns her shrewd eyes on her, the goggles magnifying them to an uncomfortable size.
"The Rebellion?" Rey asks.
Maz nods. "They are safe. For now." Her gaze flickers again to Ben before focusing back on Rey. "I'm happy to see you're safe as well."
"For now." Rey mirrors.
Maz smiles. "You've held hope for this long." She removes her goggles and beckons for Rey's hand to which Rey gives her. "It would be a shame to give up now." Maz then glances behind her. "Find your way home, have you, Ben Solo?" she sniffs. "He said you'd be stubborn, like your mother."
Ben remains silent, but Rey catches the minuscule flare of his nostrils, the almost invisible tightening of his jaw.
'He said you'd be stubborn, like your mother.'
Luke, Rey's mind whispers and familiar words brush her senses. Peace and purpose.
Maz releases her hand. "Come. Time is not a luxury we have."
Rey seeks out Ben's gaze. His eyes are naked, vulnerable, with all the look of an animal prepared to flee and her heart squeezes at the sight. He appears so awkward, so lost in this moment. The mask of Kylo Ren stripped away, the choices of that half self laid bare. This new path before him is a terrifying set of uncontrolled possibilities. A complete unknown.
She smiles reassuringly at him and follows after Maz.
He could walk away, right now. He could run. Her own steps are solid beneath her. She'd be hurt, she'd be angry, but she wouldn't hold him back. She will allow him the choice... as she had in the throne room.
Seconds later, the heavy stride of his feet catch up with her and a lovely grin tugs at her lips despite herself, tears whispering at the corners of her eyes.
They come to the familiar clearing where Han had touched down the Falcon... all those months ago. It feels like an eternity. She pauses mid-step, her heart leaping at the sight before her. Old metal glints dully in the blaze of the sunset, new patches betraying the extent of the damage done by the horrible explosion.
Rey walks closer, very near to the edge of the lake. Memories of her running down the ramp, eyes darting in all directions, drinking in the green before her, cheeks flushing at the feel of cool, moist air. Han coming up behind her, his gruff voice imprinting on her bones as he offered her a chance to fly with him, to be free. Tears fall as she takes in the blackened smoke fused into the metal of the hull. She recalls Leia's face, her voice.
Leia's son bears her eyes, deep, warm velvet. He is the glaring evidence that both of them, Han and Leia, did succeed. That all they fought for was worth every breath, every bruise of failure, every fleeting moment of success.
Rey would have once felt a streak of envy at the realization, but she doesn't. Not anymore.
"How?" she blurts aloud.
Maz scoffs. "Sneaking a ship like this one out from under Poe Dameron's nose is impossible most would argue, but I have my ways."
Rey's heart drops at the mention of Poe.
Maz notices her guilty expression. "He'll come around." she says.
Rey sighs, looking out across the lake. "He trusted me. After what I did, I can't blame him."
"Trust yourself, child. Both of you," she nods, her intense eyes falling on Ben. "Both of you are needed. Poe will understand."
Rey shakes her head. "I—
"You trust the Force, don't you?" A knowing smirk tilts Maz's lips.
Rey does not answer, looking back to Ben. His dark gaze roams along the ship, distant, the tinge of fear catching like a fire in his eyes. He senses her stare, dragging his attention away from the ship to her. For one terrifying moment the swirling disquiet in her chest blooms into a storm, but through the chaos of her thoughts she hears his voice.
Together. The fear in him ebbs and the set of his jaw tells her all she needs to know.
She nods, answering back, together.
Something stirs and emerges from the ship, thudding down the ramp.
Ben stiffens.
Rey turns just in time to see a rush of brown fur as powerful arms yank her up into a suffocating embrace. "Chewie!" she sputters.
'Where have you been?! I was worried!' he growls emphatically.
"I know." she bows her head. "I'm sorry."
His hold tightens and he pulls her close as another figure walks down the ramp. Chewie lowers her down and Rey looks up to find a pointed glare framed by disheveled raven locks.
"Rose." she breathes, flabbergasted.
Rose holds her tongue at first, simply gazing from Rey to Ben and back to Rey again. "Don't ask questions. I'm here, because I trust you."
Rey bites her lip and nods. "Finn?" she asks, feeling sick with shame.
"Sticking to the plan." Rose says lowly, crossing her arms. "Waiting for us."
"Plan?" Rey whispers, bewildered.
Rose, along with everyone else, turns to Ben. He purses his lips, inhaling a deep breath, and focuses on Rey. She sees his mind, how he had kissed her nose when rising from the bed, never having slept; then the conversation with Lando, the request to speak with Finn... and the agreement on a covert plan right under the nose of the Rebellion to strike the First Order's recently appointed Grand Marshal. Armitage Hux.
"You should be on your way." Maz urges. "You've one chance to get this right."
No one moves, the growing hum of electricity beating around them, an echo, a heart beat. Everyone can feel it, their expressions unveiled with both awe and unease. Rey breathes in. She can taste it, pure and sharp. An energy. The Force.
'And this is the lesson.' Luke's memory whispers.
We are destiny, her mind suddenly declares, blowing her awareness wide open, the pulse of the world around her, inside her, singing so completely that her heart feels as if it might split its moors and mount from her chest, higher and higher, up into the sky, up to the stars. Aligned stars.
We are the call to balance.
She closes her eyes, taking quiet breaths to calm the excitement in her heart. As she opens them, she finds Ben staring directly at her, the shared revelation written all over his face, in the lax set of his mouth, the glistening, childlike wonder of his eyes. The understanding.
Every step has come down to this moment, this shared action. And she feels as if she is strapped to a runaway comet, no sure clarity of the future, only the certainty that this path is right.
At last, Rose and Chewie turn to file up the ramp. Ben lingers in his spot, so Rey moves to follow behind them, but Maz's voice stops her.
"I have something for you." she says softly. "Something Leia wanted you to have."
Rey stares at her, momentarily surprised.
"Take this." She holds out a small, silver rectangle. A memory drive. "Coordinates." she says. "Once you reach them, use this again as a key to open a vault."
Rey takes it. "What's inside?"
"I didn't ask, child." Sorrow laces her words. "Now go."
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A sneak attack. One the Rebellion will unknowingly be creating a distraction for as Poe orders a full on attack against the First Order fleets... and he has no idea. Rey is astounded by Finn's willingness to cooperate with Ben's plan. In fact, she's still having a hard time believing it, a very hard time, because her own willingness remains in question.
The window of the cockpit peers back at her and Chewie, a billion blinking diamonds on a bed of ebony satin, as they prepare for lightspeed. Rose leans stiffly on the paneling behind them, desiring to be as far away from Ben as the Falcon will allow. Ben himself paces the open corridors of the ship. Rey can feel him, like a maddening animal kept too long in a cage, desperate to do something with its claws. Anything.
After the jump to lightspeed, Rey releases her straps and rises from her seat. Rose and Chewie remain as she walks back through the cockpit access tunnel to the main hold. She finds Ben facing away from her, standing painfully still while he looks on at the hologram table. She stops feet from him, holding her peace as he experiences old memories. The beat of his heart quickens. She can practically feel it in her own chest and she sees a boy, a very young Ben Solo sitting at the table playing dejarik.
Han's voice surrounds her, echoing through the hold. "Ben! Did you carve your initials into the pilot seat? My pilot seat?"
The boy grins and Rey is struck by its carefree nature, its largeness. The expression takes over his entire face, bringing a mischievous glimmer to his night eyes and making his nose crinkle. The curious constellations of beauty marks and moles are softer, the rich paleness of his skin kissed by sunlight. In that moment she sees all three of them in young Ben: Han, Leia and Luke.
The boy holds something, too. It glints yellow in the overhead light. A pair of dice.
Taking a step closer, she places a gentle hand on Ben's arm. No response. "Ben?" she murmurs.
"I can feel your memories here." he says distantly, eyes traveling along every corner. "You've become as much a part of the ship as my... family." The last word wavers from his mouth.
She smiles with a hint of sadness. "There are moments my life before this ship seems as if it belongs to someone else."
His hands move leisurely to her face, smoothing away errant strands of hair, and she closes her eyes, delighting in his feathery touch. The warmth and press of his fingers remind her of the their lovemaking only hours before and she sighs into his hands, pressing a kiss to his palm.
Opening her eyes she leans in to capture his lips, but the mood is broken as they hear both Chewie and Rose coming through the access tunnel. They part, letting their hands fall back to their sides and look off in opposite directions. Rose pauses at the entry way, sensing the intimacy still hanging in the air. Chewie lopes passed her to the lounge, seeming mostly unaffected by Ben's presence. Rey studies them both with shifting eyes and Rose glares over at Ben, her hands balled into fists at her sides.
"You going elaborate on this plan you convinced Finn to be a part of, or are you going to just stand there?" she demands coldly, chin held high.
Ben turns to face her, his movements unnecessarily menacing. Rose stands unaffected and only glares harder at him.
"Well?" she crosses her arms.
"Your allies have no doubt told you that the First Order has divided its forces." he speaks evenly.
"That's right, into three main divisions." she affirms. "Word is that Hux faced problems with the loyalty of his stormtroopers after the truth about Finn circulated their ranks."
Ben nods. "Their numbers have dwindled. Something Hux has attempted to keep a secret."
"But you didn't exactly help him on this front." Rey smirks, suddenly realizing exactly why Hux has sprung the trap as he had. "You were about to move against him. Fortune wasn't just a captured enemy. Both of you had planned this." Her eyes widened more and more as she spoke the words, everything clicking into place. Finn isn't the only one acting on Ben's gamble. Fortune's loyalty should have always been obvious, especially to her. She holds her breath a moment, the memory of Ben's strained, bloody face invading her mind. "The only problem was me, your weak point." she says flatly.
Ben holds her stare, his lips toying with a genuine smile. "He saw my weakness long ago, even before Snoke... and he took advantage."
Rey's cheeks flush as his words surround them, naked and undisguised. "You were being stupid." she mutters, pulling at the frayed hem of her shirt.
He shrugs, unruffled by the contempt in her voice, and pushes the conversation forward. "FN-2187 said your general plans to attack the three divisions head on, effectively dividing your own forces." He directs the statement at Rose.
Tendons along Rose's jaw tighten. "Finn. His name is Finn." she growls, taking two threatening steps forward. "Where are you going with this?"
Ben swirls his tongue inside his mouth as if tasting wine. "Only pointing out that your people will be weakening their effectiveness for a plan that won't work."
Rose's patience disintegrates. "Out with it!" she snaps.
Ben raises a sardonic eyebrow. "It isn't surprising that FN-2187 has already caught on." he proclaims slyly, deliberately using Finn's old serial number. "He came of the First Order after all. Not some ragtag Rebellion—
Rose moves abruptly, reaching for her blaster, eyes blazing. Ben's hand shoots out instinctively, lips peeling back over gritted teeth.
Rey leaps between them in haste, hands flailing. "There's no need for this! Rose put that away and Ben," she turns a hard glare on him, "can you not be yourself for five seconds? Please?"
Minutes drag by. Then, with a vexed huff, Rose relinquishes her weapon and Ben slowly softens his stance, lowering his arm. Rey sighs, dropping her hands. At the hologram table Chewie surveys the scene with wary eyes. The ship seems to groan in agreement.
"Now," Rey whispers. "Let's play nice and actually end this war."
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"You're crazy." Rose exclaims, glowering at Ben as he stands idle, arms at his sides and expression rigid. She turns to Rey, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "There's no way this is going to work! You mean to tell me this is what Finn has risked his neck for?"
Rey bites her lip, hating to say it but... "She's right, Ben."
"I've never cared much for the odds. I follow my instincts." He pauses, letting the silence gather around them, reminding Rey of the moment she was at his mercy in the throne room. "They've never failed me." A coy smirk tugs at his lips.
"We don't have a lot of options." Chewie growls.
Rey tears her gaze away from Ben. "No." she agrees.
"Do you really expect a group of stormtroopers supposedly turned rogue within the First Order to actually help us?!" Rose yells incredulously. "How can we trust them?"
"We trusted Finn... and Fortune." Rey points out.
"That's different." Rose says. "If these soldiers are really against the First Order, they would have defected. Joined our side."
"It's more complicated than that." Ben interjects. "Your spies infiltrated the lower ranks of the First Order and those who have not been rooted out are more exposed now than ever."
"What do they have to do with...?" The final cog fits into place and the answer comes tumbling out of Rose's mouth. "You're suggesting these stormtroopers are trying to protect our spies?"
Ben circles his gaze around the hold, making an effort to look bored. "Their families are captives of the First Order as equally as your spies." he exhales deeply. "I told you. Complicated."
"And Poe will be attacking the divided fleets along with those spies." Rey adds with a dismal frown.
Rose's face falls.
"What of the Grand Marshal?" Rey continues.
Ben sneers at the title. "Tucked safely away from both the First Order and the Rebellion."
Rose staggers back, umber eyes flickering. "What do you mean?"
"As I said, FN-2187 realized the obvious. Hux is not with the First Order." He grits out impatently. "If I hadn't contacted him, your general's whole plan would be for naught. Now, at least, it will suffice as a distraction."
Rose looks about ready to set him on fire when Chewie's growl stops everyone. "We're here."
A beat of silence.
Rose then turns on her heel, throwing over her shoulder, "I need to contact Finn." She disappears through the tunnel with stiff footsteps and Chewie soon follows, leaving Ben and Rey alone in the hold.
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It was good to hear Finn's voice over the comm despite the exchange involving only Rose and himself.
Rey takes a deep breath, glancing down at her saberstaff. The Rebels have begun their first attacks. It won't take long for Hux and his partner to realize something else is amiss if anything should go wrong. And it will, a part of her whispers.
Even so, her mind growls, we'll adapt. We must succeed here.
"Ready for this?" Ben murmurs only loud enough for her to hear.
"No." she admits, smiling. Why must she smile at the oddest times?
He peers at her with half-lidded eyes, lips twitching, but instead of saying anything she feels his fingers intertwine with hers.
Another deep breath.
They will move like shadows.
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