Chapter Nine: Choices
He was uninterested in following his father around. He was uninterested in hunting or fighting. He was only slightly interested in reading, which was new. Fiyero lived in anticipation of the weekends when he could talk to Elphaba. This was getting out of control, but he didn't know how to stop it. He didn't think he wanted to stop it, actually.
"Earth to Fiyero," Elphaba laughed, waving a hand in front of his face. "Are you paying any attention to what I'm saying?"
"I'm paying attention, just not necessarily to the words coming out of your mouth."
Her cheeks darkened. She always got embarrassed at even the slightest implication that he was admiring her. He wondered what would happen if he just came out and said that he thought she was lovely. She rolled her eyes at him. "You're ridiculous."
"And I don't think you mind it."
She looked at her hands. "It's amusing."
She used the word "amusing" a lot to describe him, and somehow he felt that it didn't mean the same thing every time she said it. "I'm glad I entertain you."
"Well, I apparently don't entertain you! You didn't hear a thing I said!"
He didn't argue. She entertained him. But at the moment it wasn't what she'd been saying that was entertaining. He was sure it was something intelligent and insightful, but sometimes he got so wrapped up in this… feeling he was having. It wasn't something he was familiar with. He grinned at her stupidly. "Give me some credit. That's the first time that's happened."
"I'll give you that," she conceded. She looked towards the window thoughtfully, thinking about distractions of her own, he could only guess. After a moment she asked, "Are there any pets in the castle?"
"Well, outside of the horses in the stable, the only animals I've seen are some stray cats wandering… why?" He looked at her, wondering what she was getting at.
"Well one of those strays seems to have taken up residence in my room."
"I can make sure it goes somewhere else…"
"No, Fiyero, it's not bothering me, and stop trying to make my life easier. We talked about this. And I like the cat, okay? I was just wondering if I'd get in more trouble for letting the sneaky little creature stay."
"I don't think anyone would really care." Fiyero wanted badly to go to her room now and see her with the cat. Was she maternal and sweet and nurturing? Or did she just let it sit around? He wanted to see another side of her. He wanted to see every side of her he could. She was the most intriguing human being he had ever met.
"That's good."
"So you like cats?"
"I like this cat. I can't say I've seen a lot of animals, Fiyero. Occasionally we'd find a hurt stray nearby or on the doorstep and take it in until it was healed. One of the maunts had a bird. But that was about it."
"How much 'healing' and caretaking did you do, Elphaba?" The idea of her nursing anyone back to health was amusing to him.
"As much as was necessary. I know what to do if someone is injured or sick. I tried to keep my distance from the infirmary, though. There were often children there who would look at me and be afraid."
"You do not seem scary or threatening to me."
"But think about it from the eyes of a child. To a child in the City, you'd probably be scary, too."
He hadn't thought about that. Outside of the Vinkus, he was an abnormality, as well, though not to the extent that she was. He wondered how people would react to him at Shiz. And he wondered, if Elphaba had been able to go, how people would react to her – her skin and her personality. She was certainly unique. He only wished she could go to Shiz. Fiyero was still working on his idea for that, but he wasn't so sure. There were still months left until the entrance exams, anyway. "I'm going to miss these conversations when I go to Shiz," he thought aloud.
"That was random. How did you get from children in a mauntery to Shiz?" Elphaba laughed kindly. "And you won't miss them. There will be plenty of intelligent people there to talk to."
"But they won't be you."
"No, they won't be. And at some point you'll find yourself grateful for that."
"I'm not so sure. I wish you could go to Shiz, too. You deserve to. You're certainly bright enough."
"Are you trying to rub it in?" She was getting a little sensitive, he could tell.
"No, not at all."
"Besides, you're being ridiculous. That's a little less than a year away. You take the exams in seven months, and you won't get the results for two more, and you won't actually go for two more. By then we'll be sick of each other and glad to be rid of each other."
"You think you'll be sick of me?"
Elphaba grinned. "I might be."
He knew she was teasing, so he mocked feeling hurt and frowned dramatically. "That makes me sad."
She giggled. He hadn't heard that before. He'd heard her laugh – loud and brazen. But the giggle was different. It was so feminine, so sweet. She seemed to realize it and shrugged it off. "You know I don't mean it. You might have plenty of people to talk to when you go, but no one else will be here for me to talk to."
"I remember a time when a certain 'Miss Elphaba' had no desire to talk."
"It wasn't so long ago. But I've changed my mind."
"I'd like to believe I had a hand in that."
"Believe what you will," she smiled wickedly.
"Did you finish that book we were talking about? The one about the history of Animals?"
"Yes. I found the old myths about how Animals came to be separate from animals to be really fascinating! The idea that some were baptized by tears, and so they were able to think and speak. I mean, clearly, that isn't what happened, but it's interesting, the stories that people come up with for things they can't explain."
"That's how religion comes about, I guess."
"From silly illogical theories that make no sense? That seems to me to be exactly what religion is." Elphaba half-smiled. "Oh, how the maunts would shudder to hear me say that!"
"You're not in a mauntery anymore. If you want to blaspheme Lurline or the Unnamed God or whatever else there is, you can feel free to."
"It is strange sometimes," she admitted. "The mauntery felt so stifling. But it also felt safe."
"Safe? It was in the middle of the City!"
"I meant… Well, the mauntery kept everyone there safe from themselves. Free will is a wonderful gift. But it's also a curse. People don't always make the best decisions for themselves."
"I think you can make your own decisions, take care of yourself."
"I'm beginning to see that. It is just different to be able to make those choices."
"But you like having the freedom to make your own choices, right?"
"Of course. I mean, I can't do everything I want. I'm still a servant. You have more freedom than I do, Fiyero."
That was true. "I guess I do."
"I can't wander the castle as I wish. I can't eat whatever I like. But I have more choices than I did before, even if I don't have as many as you do."
"I think you have more choices than you think," he said softly.
She looked at him curiously, intently. "Like what choices?"
"Like this one." And then he made a choice for both of them. He kissed her.
