A/N: So here's a pretty much drama free chapter, just don't get too used to it! I'm trying with this story, I want it to be great, but I know it lacks a lot. However, please review, and let me know :P


He came back to her, like he always did. Strong as the boy seemed to be, he didn't beg her forgiveness He didn't need to, neither did she. Strange as it was, the two of them went on with their lives as usual, pretending nothing had happened. Pretending they hadn't screamed at each other the day before, telling another that they didn't want to see them. This time, there didn't seem to be a fight. It wasn't even on it's way. Perhaps it was because of how tired the both of them were of fighting. Since they had never fought before this strange relationship had begun, they weren't used to it. They weren't used to spending so much energy on resenting each other. They weren't used to any of it really, not the part where they spent a whole lot of energy on worrying either.

That night, as they lay cuddled together like that first night when she had kissed him, simply looking at each other, or staring at each other really, it all changed - again. Lily had begun wondering a long time ago, how many times it could possibly changed. During the last couple of weeks their relationship had radically changed at least five times. They went from loving each other as best friends to hating each other, to completely falling for each other, over and over again. It seemed as if they couldn't make up their minds, they didn't know what to be, who to be. At least not when they were together.

"I love you," he mumbled, quietly, selfishly. No matter how moving the words were, they were selfish. Jamie saying that, even thinking of saying that, changed everything. It was some kind of confirmation. It took this thing between them from completely insignificant, perhaps not to the both of them at this point in their lives, but still insignificant, to something bigger than everything. Whatever they had shared was now something different, acknowledging it as love was.. it was life-changing really. For Lily anyhow. It wasn't something she had expected from Jamie, or at least not from James Lucas Scott. Not even as it was selfish of him, she had never expected him to say that.

She closed her eyes after staring at him for what felt like minutes, after his statement wondering what she was supposed to say, how she was supposed to answer to that. She felt it, she did, but saying it had a complete other significance. Hearing him say it had hit her like a pressure wave, striking her with all kinds of emotions. They had said it many times before, but not in this context, not meaning it the way he did now. Opening her eyes she found his blue Scott eyes still staring at her, with confusion and understanding in one look, it was that Jamie-look she hadn't seen up until a couple of weeks ago. That look, which meaning she hadn't figured out yet.

"I know," she whispered back, thinking that she might had figured out that look on his face. Maybe he already knew she meant it, but was confused and hurt by her not being able to say it. Maybe he wondered why he had said it in the first place. She wanted for him to regret it, he hadn't had any right to say those words, had he? Then again, maybe he did. Perhaps it would be easier for them to simply to the hardest thing, to admit it. Go with it. It sounded easy, but Lily was sure of how it wouldn't be easy. She knew it would be hard, close to impossible. They couldn't be together, in a way they weren't meant to be, in another they were the most perfect match possible.


He didn't seem very pleased with her reply, he might even had thought that she was cold, unemotional, but the truth was that the very much already broken-hearted girl was simply being cautious. She had gotten into the habit of not trying to care too much, not getting too involved. Since everybody she loved seemed to die, or leave her in another way, it didn't seem to be worth it. The girl was, however, well aware of the fact that it was already too late for that. She loved Jamie, she had loved him for a long time. Not in the way she did now, but he had always meant a great deal to her.

Burying her face in his shoulder, Lily Roe tried to figure out her own feelings. They weren't as clear as you would expect them to be. They were clouded, like trying to listen to music playing miles away, sound drowned by the wind. She couldn't really hear her own thoughts, only fragments of them. Maybe she was going crazy, that was the most likely option. Why else would she fall for such a shallow boy? Why else would she fall for the only boy she couldn't fall for? Why else would she feel like she was in love with James Lucas Scott? It wasn't fair, but at this point, the girl was well aware of the fact that life wasn't fair. It never was.

He was running his hand through her long hair, slowly, unsurely. Suddenly she felt guilty for blaming him for it all, for feeling it, for saying it. She realized she was hurting him, confusing him, with her silence. She wasn't fair, she might even be mean. She didn't mean to, however, she was trying to figure out what she could do about this, that would hurt as few people as possible. But she couldn't come to a conclusion. She couldn't think of anything to do, not after taking this so far. It was too late to stop it. Way too late. She couldn't stop herself from loving him, she wouldn't. She wouldn't stop to think of everyone else as she was hurting him. He was what mattered the most, and hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I love you too, Jamie. I shouldn't, but.. I do," she murmured into his shoulder, realizing then that she was crying, unaware of why. As the boy kissed her on the top of her head, she felt safe again. The kind of safe she had actually felt in the arms of her mother as she had gotten her heart broken for the first time. Perhaps he was the one to mend her heart as it had broken the second time. She couldn't help but to think that there was a point to all of this, there had to be. It couldn't be all for nothing. They couldn't be going through this for nothing.

"I knew you did," he said, quietly, smiling into her pineapple-shampoo hair. Maybe this was it, this could be the reward for all this drama, all this confusion and hardship. The reward was the moments of stillness, the moments of just Jamie and Lily, nothing else. When they could be just that, themselves, without the interference of the outside world, without having to be more. That was probably what made them feel so special around each other, there were no demands, no expectations.