Nory's POV
I sat there for 2 hours without even flinching. I remained frozen; unable to shift from the pain I had caused. I lay there half dead to the world as tears fell from my eyes wondering if this was all I could do from now on.
I don't even think I could blink.
He had left me; he had run and left me behind- because I was a stupid slut totally unworthy of him…
My tears flooded my face again but sobs stilled. I could only feel the heart break under my chest.
The bruises and bites on my body numb.
Then the phone rang; this time- it was my phone.
Caller ID flashed brightly: 'April'
I looked to it and hit the red button; ignoring the call as I pulled myself back up onto the sofa.
My shower still ran; but I didn't care.
I didn't care about anything anymore…
Just him.
Him, who I probably would never see again. And the idea broke me.
The phone rang another time as I stared at it.
Had he gone home? Was he safe? It had been hours…
My broken body at least needed to know he made it home.
I clicked the green button; unsure of what to say as April breathed down the phone.
"Nory! Nory? Tell me your okay! Nory!" she sounded panicked and frightened, her breathing laboured and worried.
"April" I murmured out; my voice at least staying level.
"Oh thank fuck! Guys- its alright; she's talking to me" she called, calming her self down. I could almost hear the panic in her body as she breathed deeply.
"Are you okay? What's going on?" April asked me out right as I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't.
"Nory!" she called in a frustrated bark, but I couldn't answer her; more tears fell down my cheek in my utter heart break.
"I need to go see her" she said talking to someone else as I could hear her hurrying as crackle came down the phone.
I panicked; if April walked in on me looking like this then…
"N-NO!" I bellowed out feeling my own throat pull at the sharpness.
"April- s-sorry, I'm fine- totally fine, just still hung over a-and t-tired" I breathed out keeping my voice level
April huffed and sounded extremely unsure.
"What's happened?" she asked and I decided to play dumb; had Leo not told them how I had attacked him?
"I don't know what you're talking about…" I drifted off
"North James- don't you dare lie to me- Leo came home earlier and-"I cut her off.
"Is he safe? Did he get home okay?" my voice wobbled as tears splashed into my lap. My eyes found the window to my right, picturing his body fleeing my home again. My insides cracked further.
"He's…not exactly himself" she said, suddenly her voice was softer; filled with worry. I bit my lip.
It was all my fault.
"Oh…" it was all I could say as I pulled myself up to stand, wrapping the blanket around me. I breathed it in deeply; it smelt so much like him.
I gritted my teeth feeling the wave of sadness coming back, reminding me I had completely lost him…
"Nory; Did Leo stay with you last night?"
"He…he slept on the floor" I blew out finding the truth a happy medium instead of creating a web of lies. My eyes were heavy and wet as I swallowed the sharp lump in my scratchy throat.
"and was he…okay?"
"he was…he was really drunk" I added keeping my sentences short. I could hear her huffing down the phone.
"What time did he go?"
I swallowed hard.
"I-I'm not sure…He left…really fast" I gritted my teeth. The memory of his horror filled face dashing away from me was enough to make me feel unwanted, ugly and useless…
I swallowed needing to get away from this call.
"I'm sorry April- I-I'm not feeling great at the moment; I need to go lie down- phone me later alright?" I told her. She tried to keep me on the line, but I couldn't keep talking about him. I couldn't delve more into my broken heart than I already was…
It started to curl into a pain in my chest unlike anything I had ever felt.
"Nory are- are you sure your alright?"
"Totally; well not really- I'm really ill, I'll call you later alright? bye" I called to her; then dropped my phone into my lap and tucked my head into my chest, the agony returning thick and fast.
All I wanted was Leo and I would never get him ever again.
I sobbed louder and pulled the covers round me tighter. I was such an idiot…
The evening drifted into the night, so quickly and my headache hadn't subsided. My emotional state was something else entirely. April called to ask if I was feeling any better; I told her that I wasn't and that she should keep away as I thought it was more of a virus than a hangover, even though, it wasn't. I told her was going to keep away from the lair for the next few days and she told me it was fine; seeming to come down from her heightened level of worry.
In some way I wondered if Leo had mentioned anything at all; but I tried not to dread hard on that point.
At some point, I pulled my body up from the living room; and turned to go to the bathroom. I began sneezing knowing the cold water from the night before had gave me a slight cold.
At least I hadn't lied completely straight off to April.
My eyes fell on the running shower, the memories lurching back to me…
With a deep breath an understanding crossed between us; droplets of water falling from my open mouth in awe. I nodded once, my mouth hanging open slightly at the notion as my heart stammered and slammed in my chest. I held my breath unable to take a deep inhale as I felt him slowly; so dreadfully slowly, lift the wet t-shirt up over my head and threw it alongside his hoodie…
I gripped the door handle tightly, the memory so painful when it should have been so wonderful…
Oh I wished this afternoon would have gone so differently; that I would have woken up with him holding me, and instead of gasping- instead of feeling regret; he would have pulled me closer, kissed my head and chuckled when we realised what we had done…
Maybe made some food together while I waited patiently for him to kiss me for the first time ever…
Leo looking at me with the same loved eyes he had watched me with all night.
I shut myself down from thinking about it anymore. I couldn't; I knew it would kill me.
I breathed slowly trying to push down the knowledge that in reality he hadn't done so; he had bolted- taken off in a similar way someone would spit out a bad taste in their mouth.
I was nothing more than a bad taste…
I huffed and shook my head again. Leaning over to turn the freezing water off as the shower ran silent for the first time in 17 hours…
I bit my lip to stop the tears again.
My eyes found myself in my mirror and I looked about as beautiful as I felt.
My eyes were red, strained and puffy, my face drawn back and grey from the hangover. My nose red from crying and sneezing. My hair huge and bushy. Then I eyed my naked body; dropping the cover to the floor as I looked at what Leo had seen this morning.
My face dropped into a shocked expression.
My neck and collar bone were red; cherry red with teeth marks and bruising, my hand raised to it instinctively as my fingers touched the mark. It ached, but didn't hurt too bad; mostly feeling like I had bashed it once and it was tender. But my eyes moved from my neck to my fingers and down to my wrist; the bruising there yellow and in three distinct places; one round circle bruised showing where each of Leo's fingers had been on me. I swallowed; it looked bad. My other hand went to grip my wrist pulling it away from the rest of my body as I looked down- my collarbone was a little darker than normal, the top of my right breast; another huge bruised hickey lay, just to the right of my nipple on my left breast, another bite mark. A few more loose browning bruises where his hands had been on my hips.
And yet it didn't hurt me in a way, even as bad as it looked- I felt like I had been at the gym and the after ache was all that had been left. But I looked like I had taken five rounds with Mike Tyson.
My cheeks burned.
Maybe Leo ran because he thought he had hurt me? Maybe he had bolted in thinking I was damaged…
But I shut myself down as my eyes met themselves in the mirror again.
No…it wasn't just that…
He would have called Donnie first; if he had any shred of care left for me. It was so obvious that he was ashamed of me; ashamed of what I had done to him…
"stupid fucking slut" I called to myself, feeling the anger course threw my veins as I eyed my self up in the mirror.
"stupid ugly bitch" I gritted my teeth scrunching my eyes up with the tension of it all; another flash of anger raising in me as I felt a scream bubble to my lips.
I pushed it back down and turned on my heels. I whipped off my underwear and found new clean ones in the dryer. I avoided going back into my shower. I couldn't…not yet…
I found a comfortable set of large pyjamas as I pulled them on and like a zombie I carried myself to my bed.
I needed to rest; maybe this horrible dream would come to an end and I would wake up sitting in my bed; Leo and his brothers still coming round to mine for pizza and movie night.
I laid my head down on the pillows as tears sprung to my face.
That was never going to happen again.
I cried silently in the most hurting way possible, trying my best not to allow sobs into the open air- they only reminded me that no one was coming, that I was completely alone…
"Your cold honey" he slurred; whether he was drunk from booze or from what we were doing now I couldn't be entirely sure. I only knew what we were doing was adding to my height of my levelled dizziness, and if Leo felt the same; I knew we weren't finished with each other yet….
I took his hand in mine; trying to stop the worry from his face as I opened the shower door and pulled us both out of the little crook.
I walked backwards, constantly facing him; my eyes watching his, terrified to look away in case he would disappear on me; that my drunken dream would end.
I wasn't sure where I was taking him until my legs hit the back of my couch. I turned us and pushed him to sit down on the sofa. He sprawled himself out arms flying to the side almost like his body was becoming paralysed as he watched me seductively; entranced at my slow movements as I walked towards him and immediately, and slowly, moved to straddled his lap.
"Oh…love" He grunted and I couldn't wait to feel him under my lips any longer as I moved forward. I kissed at his cheek again, gently; softly…
Then everything changed; he gripped me hard; way too hard, making me hiss. I looked at his face. It was horrified.
"What the fuck are you doing? Get off me!" and then he threw me across the room, I skidded down just to below my window.
He laughed at me and eyed me up and down.
"As if I would let you do that to me; you think I want someone like you?" he walked backwards and forwards in a leader manor. I felt humiliated; I sat up as tears pricked at my eyes.
"Oh North- go on and cry; you're nothing to me; April is the only one I would want. she's much better looking; better body too" his eyes looked me up and down as I tried to cover myself. I cried heavily as he laughed at me, and suddenly he wasn't alone; all his brothers were with him.
"Leo told us what you did" Donnie spoke tauntingly. Mikey laughed with him looking down at me.
"Why would anyone want you?"
"Come on boys; April needs us more…" Leo said throwing his voice towards me as they turned and ducked out my window.
Leo the last to go.
"No one will ever love you the way you are…"
I sat bolt up and screamed. I screamed until my lungs were empty of air for the longest time ever. I screamed in anger and hurt. I just had to.
My eyes finally opened to the darkness of my room. My heart louder than normal. My eyes were wet with the tears that had fallen from my nightmare and my head still pounding. I pulled my legs up to my chest and breathed slowly. I listened to the floor boards settle below me and the creaking from the above apartment continuously moving slowly.
I breathed in and out deeply.
I leaned over to check my phone; 4:15am. I closed my eyes and laid my head back down on my pillow; it gave me the upmost comfort in such a sad time. I lay there still for a minute, letting my body settle from my horrid dream. I tried to think of anything but, I tried to think of a plan for the day; maybe some reading, maybe some washing…
Maybe pick the feathers up off my living room floor…
My heart stopped and the pain came rushing back.
No no no,
No I wasn't ready for that yet. No, please no; I couldn't face it yet.
But the emotions came flying back to me; my heart ache so strong and my chest closed in with a tightness I knew wasn't normal. I gripped at myself, as if trying to hold the pieces of me together, but they blew apart again, ripping a hole in my heart as I cringed and lay flat from the heavy pressure. My eyes dripped with more tears that I willed to stop, but wouldn't.
If this was heartbroken rejection; I never wished it upon anyone.
I tried closing my eyes again, trying to will sleep to come back and claim me; but then I remembered my dream.
It was either stay awake and suffer in real life with my reality; or sleep with my nightmares constantly.
I gritted my teeth. This would never leave me.
After ten minutes of this, I found my TV remote; hoping for something to distract my head and heart. I flicked on the first channel I found.
It was Alien 2 ….
"So what is this you're getting me to watch?" I asked Leo with half a smile. He grinned down at me with a chuckle, a mischievous look in his eye.
"Alright alright- so we watched Alien the other night right? Weeellll this is the sequel?"
"Oh my god there's a sequel?" I asked with a raise in my voice. He chuckled deeply it almost sounded like a hum. My insides squealed at him as I kept my face composed.
What was happening between us?
"Yeah and I sent Donnie and Mikey off on a scavenger hunt; Raph's with Casey- so we have the TV to our selves!" he smiled triumphantly. I giggled as his warm face watched me pleased.
"You load the movie up and I'll get the pop corn" I told him. He chuckled as I passed and went to the kitchen.
My heat fluttered in my chest as I grabbed a microwave bag from Mikey and shoved it in the little oven. I grabbed two cans from the fridge and filled the bowl with the packet.
I walked back into the living room to see him cross legged on the floor; his eyes scrunched up in concentration.
"Donnie told me how to do this before…" he commented to himself as I placed our things down on the small makeshift coffee table.
"Having trouble?" I asked lightly. He looked to me and raised his eyebrows.
"I-I got it" he said waving me off. I leaned over his shell, right over his shoulder, before pressing the play button.
The starting credits rolled on as he turned to look at me with a blush.
"Silly turtle" I commented, running my fingers over the end of his bandana tails.
I flopped down onto the sofa, pulling my legs up beside me. I patted the seat next to me as he copied my actions. An arm loose around the back of me as we settled in to watch the movie…
"Oh Come on Leo- I mean its good but; newer movies use new technology; look at gravity- that is a great sci-fi film"
"I haven't ever seen it" he commented with a point of his finger. I grinned.
"Well I happen to have it on blu-ray, so next movie date is at mine"
he grinned down at me as we turned back in to watch the film; I had no clue what was going on, we had chatted for half an hour, but it looked like someone was getting eaten.
I felt silly, grinning so hugely at a TV screen monster.
But I didn't care about the movie; I didn't care about my blue ray sci fi films…
I only cared about the turtle who was sitting beside me watching them with me…
I flicked the TV off. My eyes prickled as my chest began digging at the hole again.
That was gone now; our night together had ended.
And the pain in my chest exploded.
I missed him so much already…
I closed my eyes; nightmares were a better risk than this. At least that was 50/50 chance over 100%. I curled up and shut my eyes tight waiting for the never-ending darkness to come back to me; releasing me for a few more hours sleep….
"Leo?"
he stood in front of me- only a meter away and smiled at me. My eyes filled with tears.
He was happy here; looking at me like I had remembered.
Then the room went dark and so did his features.
"You think id ever forgive you? You're banned from my home. You're banned from my brothers/ What you did- can't' ever be forgiven" he told me with a grave voice.
He growled and I flinched.
"L-Leo I'm so-sorr-"
his hand made contact with my face as I fell to the floor…
Suddenly I was back naked; only in those blue panties I had worn.
Leo laughed and then his face turned cold. His eyes distant and angry, nearly spilling with tears.
"how could you do that to me?" he asked in a raspy light voice. I wanted to answer him but my voice disappeared and I felt a huge weight hold me down from moving away or reaching for him.
"You're nothing to me anymore…what we had- its over…"
Then the laughing started; this time- April, Casey, Donnie, Mikey and Raph joined in. Pointing at me and laughing evilly. Hysterically.
I tried to get away but I couldn't, I was paralyzed and they were pulling me apart…
My eyes flew open and I screamed again. So loud; loud enough to be heard blocks away as it echoed around my bedroom. My heart hammering again, my eyes no longer dry.
I swallowed and sat up, light streamed in from my windows. I turned to look at my little alarm clock; 3pm.
Sleeping didn't ease the pain, neither did being awake. I doubled over with an ache in my chest and gritted my teeth.
I didn't dare move from my bed; I couldn't. I didn't want to go out there and face…
I stopped myself even thinking it. As I reached to find something to distract me. Instantly I found my head phones, pulled them off the night stand and shoved them in my ears.
Anything- all I needed was a distraction; anything I could find…
The music filled my ears as rested my head back against my head board, leaving it on shuffle as heavy rock drums filled my ears; perfect. Just what I needed.
I wasn't sure how long I sat there; but I could feel my self slipping back into a restful state. It was exactly sleep, but it was near enough, just letting the music carry me away for a little while. I opened one eye seeing the darkness pass through my room as I looked down surprised; I knew it grew dark earlier from the time of year, but surely I hadn't been sat here this long. I eyed my I pod's clock.
6.30pm…wow- I had found a safe place to help me through this…
Then 'Yellow' came on.
And my eyes flew open. And I froze.
I wanted to rip the stupid buds out of my ears. I wanted to escape from the song.
But I found myself staying in the same position, sat stiffly. Unable to even turn my head.
"…Oh yeah, your skin and bones, Turn into something beautiful…"
I swayed with him and I swore I could feel him breathing in my scent, almost breathing me up as his head buried down into my shoulder, resting there like it always should have been, like we fit together like a jigsaw...
I felt his lips skimming my shoulder blade and grinned up at the sky, my heart and head pounding.
"You know I love you so…"
Then I found the strength to move.
I ripped the buds from my ears and sprung from my bed. I threw my I pod away from me down the little corridor into the living room. Where the feathers still lay…
I gasped as the feelings came rushing back; the pain, the hurt, the humiliation.
And then I was on the floor, clutching my self together as I lay there, shivering.
The tears came back flowing as I begged myself to keep it together. I needed to- I couldn't go threw this again. It was as if he had died. But it made perfect sense.
Because I was dead to them now- I had to be. They couldn't let me back in their life; they couldn't even let me be near them…which meant no April or Casey either…
"Please…" I whispered angrily to my self on the floor; the word only reminding me of how alone I was as it echoed around the hall.
I guessed this was how it was going to be for a long while...
Awww poor Nory!
I felt like i needed to do this chapter to really explore how heartbroken she would feel; April getting suspicious oooo!
Whats going to happen next!
Thanks to you guys leaving reviews; your so awesome! it totally makes my day!
