Women's Work
"Marian, you really do not have to do this. I am certain that you did not come all the way out to the forest just to get all dirty picking herbs with me." Djaq said as the two of them sat on the ground bundling some flowers they had just picked.
"Nonsense. I enjoy it. Besides," she paused, contemplating whether or not to continue, "I...I have missed your company as of late. It's odd in a way. I have been spending more time out here in the forest with the gang, now that my father is getting on so well, and yet it seems that you are rarely around these days. You're not avoiding me, are you, Djaq?" She teased.
"Of course not. I have been...well, I have been occupied in Loxley." She replied somewhat vaguely.
"Yes, that is what the boys all tell me. But none of them seem exactly sure what you have been doing there. Is it something to do with Robin's plan?"
"No it's...well..." She broke off wondering where to start and how much to say. She didn't know how much Marian knew about the things that Djaq had only recently discovered herself.
She thought back to the day, a few weeks earlier, when Robin had walked in one afternoon while Djaq was alone at the camp and handed her a small sack containing some pears. This, in itself, was curious, given the fact that she could count on one hand the number of times there had been any fruit or vegetables served since she had first joined the gang. Those men always seemed perfectly content to eat nothing but bread and meat. Much would sometimes grudgingly consent to adding roots or berries to a meal, provided Djaq went out and collected them herself, but fruit was almost unheard of.
"Pears? Where did you get these?" She had asked Robin.
"They're from the women of Loxley." He'd replied.
"Oh. Much will not be pleased." She chuckled, anticipating his reaction as something along the lines of What exactly am I supposed to do with these? "I am surprised that you bought them, though. I rarely see you men eat any fruit." She said absently as she unpacked the pears and set them in Much's kitchen.
"I didn't. They...they were a gift." He said hesitantly, as if he were not quite certain how much to tell her.
"Oh. Since when do you accept charity from the villagers?" She wondered aloud. "You are always so careful not to encourage that." He was behaving strangely and she was not sure why. What could be so secretive about a bunch of pears?
"I offered to pay for them, but she would not hear of it. They..." His voice trailed off uncharacteristically.
"Robin, what on earth is the matter with you? Is something wrong? Has something happened in Loxley?"
"They sent them for you." He paused for a moment as if contemplating something very serious. "They know." He practically whispered. And he'd looked at her apologetically and, she'd thought, a bit fearfully.
She, on the other hand, had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. So she'd just stared at him blankly.
"About you and Will being married and that you're...expecting." He said tentatively, pointing briefly at her stomach.
"Oh. But how did they-- Oh." Of course she knew. And as she opened her mouth to voice the answer to her own partially asked question, Robin did the same. So that they ended up speaking simultaneously.
"Much." They said together, causing them both to laugh.
"It's fine, Robin. Really. I am actually rather surprised that it took him this long to say anything to anyone. But I am not upset, if that's what you feared. There is no reason for it to remain a secret. Indeed, people are certain to find out sooner or later." He had seemed surprised by her response and, actually, so was she. It was not so many months ago when she had planned to run away before anyone had the chance to find out about her condition.
"He's actually been dying to tell people, but he managed to contain himself pretty well until the other day. You know Much, though. Once he gets started on a topic, there's no stopping him." He seemed much more at ease now after seeing that she was not upset by the news.
"But, what has this to do with pears?" She nodded towards the fruit, crinkling her nose in confusion.
"Apparently, they are good for women in your condition. I don't really know. But I was asked to give them to you by Bessie. She insisted and she would not accept any sort of payment." He had told her, clearly deciding that this explained it all.
"I see. Well that is very kind of her." Truth be told, Djaq was extremely touched by the gesture. And not a little surprised. She had always understood that the villagers mistrusted her and never quite accepted her the way they did the other outlaws. It had always made sense to her, though. She was different and they feared anything they did not understand. So this was something new and Djaq was not certain how to respond. "But she must accept some sort of payment for them. The people of the villages have enough difficulty keeping their own families fed. I cannot have them using their meager food stores on me."
"You do not wish to insult them, Djaq." He warned.
"Why should anyone be insulted? We always pay for our supplies. Sure, sometimes the villagers try to refuse our money out of gratitude for all we do for them, but we always insist. Why should this be any different?" She was confused.
"This is not just some villagers, Djaq. It's the people of Loxley. More specifically, the women of Loxley. And they've done this for you." He raised his eyebrows and nodded, as if to indicate that she should now understand.
But she did not. So she gave him a strange look and he continued.
"You must realize that, out of all of the villages we help, we have the closest connection to Loxley."
"Because it is yours." She offered.
"No." He paused and shook his head slowly. "Because it is Will's." He said.
"Will's?"
He sighed. "Loxley was his home and, in many ways, it still is. He never really left there. Not the way that John or even I did. And even though it was part of my estate, I was not really one of them. I tried to be a good master and always see to it that everyone's needs were met. But that is not the same as being one of them. Not like Will." He explained.
"Yes, I know that Will has a special place in his heart for the people of Loxley, Robin. But what has this to do with pears? Or with me, for that matter?"
"The people of Loxley care very much for Will. He is one of their own and they recognize how much he does for them. You must remember that his family was a part of that village for a long time. His parents were well liked and respected there. His grandparents lived and died there. He is very much their native son and most of them have known him all of his life." He looked pointedly at her.
"Alright." She prodded him to go on.
"You are his wife now. And you are carrying his child. I think that this is their way of welcoming you into their fold, so to speak. Besides, Djaq, they know how much you give of yourself so that they and the people of the other villages can experience a better way of life. They probably want to show their gratitude...woman to woman. Do you understand?" He questioned.
"I...I think so." Actually, she was somewhat taken aback by, not only this gesture, but by Robin's explanation.
Was this really their way of reaching out to her? For Will's sake? She had never thought before about his relationship with the Loxley people. She knew that it had been his home, but she hadn't given it much thought beyond that. But of course they would love him. First of all, who wouldn't love a man like Will Scarlett? He cared for everyone. There was never a task that he wouldn't take on if it meant making people's lives better. He was wonderful and dedicated and they were lucky to have him.
But when she thought about what Robin had said, that he was their own native son, she was filled with a strange sense of pride to know that they would embrace her because of her relationship to him. How odd. She had always assumed that she would fight tooth and nail to avoid being known based on her associations with a man. Be it father, husband, or some other. She never wanted to live in a man's shadow. Even when she had pretended to be her brother it had been more for safety's sake. But this was different. She was filled with warmth at the thought that they they might learn to accept her and might even approve of her marriage to Will.
She was brought back to the present and the woman sitting beside her.
"Marian?" She began.
"Hmm?"
"Do you know much about wise women and the work they do?" She asked.
"You mean the midwives? They deliver babies. That's all I know of them. Oh, and they sometimes provide treatments for headaches. I know that because Sarah, our cook, told me so once. Are you going to see a midwife about your delivery? I had been wondering if you might not do it on your own. You know, since you're a physician." Marian replied.
Djaq laughed.
"Did I say something funny?" Marian asked.
"No. Well, yes. It's just ironic, I suppose. I am a physician and yet I know nothing of these matters. My skills lie in other areas of health and body. I have had no training and very little experience when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth."
"Oh. Yes I suppose that makes sense. I guess that physicians do not participate in such things. I just thought that, being a female physician, it might be different for you." Marian responded.
"That's just it. You would think that, being a woman and having medical training, I would have considered the female aspect of medicine. I was trained while assisting my father on the battlefields, of course. So that meant that I worked only on men. But I never even had the slightest curiosity about women's matters. Even though our physicians do seem to consider female matters as more a part of general health than do your physicians here, I have always considered it beneath me. I have to admit, Marian. I've been somewhat of a snob." Djaq said, looking down.
"A what? Djaq, are you mad? You are no snob."
"Oh but I am. I am ashamed to say that I have considered myself far superior to other woman for most of my life. I have seen them as rather frivolous. I have never valued their contributions. It's not that I wanted to be a man. I've always been proud of being a woman. But I've considered myself better than other women because of my ability to function in a man's world." Djaq replied bitterly. She had only recently realized these things about herself and was having trouble reconciling them.
"That makes sense, Djaq. Aside from being a physician, you were a soldier. Another occupation reserved for men. And now you share your life with Robin's gang. All men. I can certainly understand why being strong and capable enough to handle such a life would give you a certain sense of pride." Marian offered. She had often envied Djaq's ability to so effortlessly interact with the men. She had even, occasionally, seen Djaq order them around. And they listened!
"But here is the thing." Djaq responded. "I have recently learned that while I was so busy thinking I was conquering a man's world, I have been completely ignorant of everything concerning my own gender. I understood the basics, of course. I knew what I had to based on necessity. But there is just so much that I do not know. About myself, about pregnancy, about babies and women and all of it. It turns out that I have been rather a fool."
"Where is all of this coming from?" Marian asked. It was strange seeing Djaq so down on herself. She was usually so confident and sure. Although, Marian had to admit to herself that she was touched that Djaq was choosing to confide these things in her. She recognized that she was being given a rare glimpse into the inner workings of the woman's mind. She was also rather pleased to be in a position to offer encouragement.
"Well, when I asked you about wise women, I was thinking of more than just childbirth." Djaq sighed, took a deep breath, and related the story of the pears that had been given to her by the women of Loxley. When she had finished, Marian's face wore a mixture of confusion and warmth, just as Djaq's probably had when it had first taken place.
"So this Bessie woman wanted to reach out to you? That's really lovely. The pears were a very kind gesture." Marian responded.
"Actually, Bessie and the pears are just the beginning, Marian."
"Oh?"
"Apparently, there are many women who carry a certain...knowledge. I really knew nothing of this until a few weeks ago. It seems that midwives, and their assistants, of which Bessie is one, pass this knowledge on to one another down through the generations. They keep it alive and...well, apparently, they have to keep it rather secret." Djaq explained.
"Secret? Why? And what sort of knowledge? Surely you are not talking about witchcraft?" Marian was a little bit frightened now. She considered herself a sensible woman, not some superstitious ninny, but witchcraft was not to be dabbled in.
Djaq laughed. "No, Marian. Of course it is not witchcraft. It has to do with herbs and nature and all sorts of things. They have so much knowledge. You would not believe it. A lot of it I know already. Like the uses for many of the herbs. But they also know different ways to use the bark of different trees and how to apply pressure to certain parts of the body to reduce pain or aid in healing. It's remarkable." Djaq became excited every time she thought about it. These women had opened up a door to a whole other world.
"But surely they do not know more than you do about medicine. Your father was a physician. You performed surgery on me and saved my life when I was stabbed and close to death. That is no small feat."
"Well they do not have any knowledge of surgical practices and they seem to know very little about preventing infection. That much is true. But they do know some things that I was never aware of before. I wonder if the women at home know such things as well. I never thought to find out." Djaq mused.
"But then, why must it be kept secret?" Marian wondered.
"I will tell it to you as Matilda—she seems to be the most revered of the wise women--"
"Yes. I know Matilda. She has been delivering babies since before I was born. In fact, she delivered me. Probably Robin too."
"Really? Well, I will tell it to you as she told it to me. She says that this knowledge has been around for thousands of years. Probably since the beginning of time. She says that, at first, men were fine with women being healers. The men wanted no part of childbirth, so they preferred that it be a woman's domain. They stayed as far away from it as possible.--"
"Humph! Typical. They want to be around to make the baby, though. Don't they?" Marian laughed, but then quickly thought about what she'd said and looked at her friend. "Oh. I'm sorry Djaq. I didn't mean--"
But Djaq laughed too. "No, Marian. It's fine. And you are right. So anyway, men did not want to be around for childbirth duty. And, by extension, they allowed women to have dominion over most illnesses and even prevention of illness as well. But, as time went on and this knowledge developed and expanded, men began to feel left out and rather jealous. They resented the fact that women understood the human body in a way that they could not. And that women seemed to have a grasp on nature and the earth's bounty that they could not understand. They saw it as a power that we—women, that is—possessed and were using against them." Djaq paused, unsure how much Marian would be open to hearing. Especially from her, a non Christian.
She took a deep breath before deciding to continue. "Matilda also said that religion played a part as well. That women taking charge of their own bodies meant that fewer people were going to priests and holy men to be healed by prayer, which meant less money paid to churches. So the churches started labeling these women as witches. And men were more than happy to believe it. Men figured that it explained why women could do things they could not. Even pregnancy and childbirth began to be seen as god's curse on evil women. So the women started dealing with such matters in secret."
"Is that true? Not about it being a curse, but the rest of it? Matilda can be a little out there sometimes." Marian inquired skeptically.
"I do not know, Marian. But I do know that men will go to almost any lengths to keep women out of anything they deem important. Look at the challenges that you and I have had to face just to do the things that are important to us. The lies we have had to tell in order to be who we wanted to be. When viewed in light of that, this story does not sound so far-fetched to me." Djaq answered.
"You're right about that. So that is what you have been doing in Loxley, then? Learning to be a midwife and deliver babies? It sounds intriguing." Marian had always had an interest in healing. She found it helpful to have the ability to treat her own minor injuries and give herself stitches and such when possible. After all, The Nightwatchman could hardly go to someone for help in such instances. But she hadn't been aware that there was an entire subculture of women right in her own backyard who possessed knowledge unknown even to physicians.
"To be honest, I have been somewhat hesitant about the childbirth aspects of it. But we have been comparing uses for different herbs and curatives and the like. And I have been sharing some of my own knowledge with them. It has been very interesting for me. I never thought that the women here would be open to learning from me. Although, I suppose that they may have thought the same of me." Djaq explained.
Marian decided against questioning Djaq about her hesitation over learning about childbirth. It was not the first time that she had swallowed a similar question unasked. Djaq seemed to be having a very difficult time relating to her pregnancy. She seemed to shy away from questions concerning the actual baby, and to stay focused on the pregnancy itself. Almost as if, it seemed to Marian, she could not quite think far enough ahead to the child, and could only deal with the immediate changes she was facing. So Marian tried hard to avoid any subject that might be upsetting to her.
"So then, do none of the men--Robin and the others, I mean--know what you have been up to in Loxley?" She asked instead. "If, as you say, it's suppose to be a secret?"
"I do not think that it is as big a secret as it sounds. I mean, men must have some idea of what goes on when their wives go to see these women. The villagers can surely not afford to send for a physician when they are ill, so they must be aware that the contributions of midwives go somewhat beyond pregnancy and delivery. That is what I think, anyway." Djaq answered.
"Yes. They can surely not be completely clueless." Marian agreed.
"I think that it is more about women being the keepers of this knowledge than it actually being completely secret. And Robin and the others know that I have been with Bessie and Matilda and some of the other women, helping them and learning from them. They simply do not ask for any details. They probably consider it to be women's work." She laughed. "Except for Much. He actually seems interested and has asked me a few questions. But then, he has always been interested in my knowledge of herbs and surgery."
"That probably goes back to his days in the Holy Land. He treated Robin when he was wounded, and, from what he has said, Robin was not expected to live at one point. So it makes sense that he would have some interest in that area." Marian offered.
"I think that you are right. He has assisted me more than once and I have found him to be very competent."
"So Will does not mind you spending so much time away?" She asked and she thought she saw a dark look pass over Djaq's face.
"Will has been very busy lately." She replied flatly. She had always been a practical woman and she shad no intention of dwelling on her difficulties with Will.
Marian had no desire to pry, so she changed the subject. "So, when will you go to Loxley again?"
"I am going there with John in a little while, actually, in order to make some drop-offs, and then I will take these herbs and a few that I have set aside at camp to Matilda. We are going to compare uses. I also need to arrange to have a new smock made. This one had grown a bit tight for me." Djaq answered, grateful for the change in topic.
"Oh, I see. I should actually be on my way to the castle to see Guy. Well, after I go home and change, that is. You weren't exaggerating about how messy this can be." Marian laughed.
"I do not envy you that task, Marian. It must be very difficult to put on a friendly face with that man given the way you must surely feel about the things he has done."
"It is at times. But I am certain that if I could just get him away from the Sheriff for an afternoon, he would open up to me about their plans. Robin, of course, is making it all even more difficult by constantly making snide comments about my efforts, but I will not allow him to deter me." She said confidently.
"I know how determined you can be. I am sure you will succeed." Djaq said casually as she gathered her herb bundles. Never a woman to mince words, she had said exactly what she meant and did not consider it a big deal.
Marian, on the other hand, was extremely flattered to hear the words. "Thank you, Djaq." She beamed.
"What for?" Djaq wondered.
"For having confidence in me. You may be accustomed to that, however I am not. It is a rare thing when someone trusts my instincts and abilities. It means a great deal to me." She felt a bit foolish for making such a big deal about it. Surely Djaq would think her ridiculous.
"Marian, I have a great amount of respect for you. You walk a very fine line with the men in your life and I know that it can not be easy. And if it seems as though Robin and your father are against you at times, it is only because they care so much. But I know that it does not make it easier. In fact, it probably only makes it harder. Why can't men understand that?"
"Surely you do not have that problem? The men all respect you very much. They trust your instincts." Marian said rather sulkily, making Djaq laugh a little.
"Do you know that the first time I stood next to them in a fight, they all tried their very best to keep me out of harm's way? They jumped in front of me, ran up beside me, and pushed me out of the way more than once. All in order to protect me from the big bad guards. It infuriated me!" Djaq said heatedly, remembering the day.
"So what did you do?" Marian asked, wide-eyed.
"The first time it happened, I was too angry to do anything more than throw myself even more furiously into the fight to prove my worth to them. Which only made me take stupid chances, something that I would never have done otherwise. So I realized that I was only adding fuel to their fire by showing them that I could not really handle myself out there. That, I could not have. So I decided to use my head instead."
"How?" Marian was fascinated. She had never considered that there might have been an adjustment period for Djaq when she first came here. That it might have taken time for her to be accepted.
"The second time I went into battle with them I was ready for their over-protectiveness. So I let them do their manly thing and try to beat down any guard who got near me. They had it down to a science too. They would each keep their eye on me and I saw them nod to each other several times throughout the first few moments of the fight, just to kind of let each other know which of them would jump in for me next, I suppose. Or perhaps they were congratulating each other on keeping me safe. They actually thought that they were helping me. I do not know if they thought I would appreciate their efforts, or even that I expected it from them. Perhaps they thought that I did not notice and that they were somehow indulging the little girl and letting her play soldier with them." Djaq spat out. In fact, the memory still irritated her whenever she thought back on those days.
"So how did you teach them a lesson? Please tell me that you put them in their place, Djaq!" Marian was now grinning wickedly.
Djaq smiled too. "Well, as I said, I let them have their way for the first few moments, and then I starting doing the exact same thing to them. I ran up and jumped in front of one or another of them with my weapon in hand whenever a guard got too close for comfort, and I made a point of shoving them out of the way and taking out a threat anytime the need arose. In short, I gave them a big taste of their own medicine."
"You didn't!" Marian practically giggled.
"I did. And, let me tell you, they were furious. A man's ego is a fragile thing. They could not believe that I had dared to think that they needed my help. When the fight was finally over and we were all headed back to where we were camped for the night, I could tell how angry they were by their stomping and grumbling. But none of them wanted to be the one to shout at me. They probably feared I would cry or something. Until finally, unable to contain himself any longer, Allan asked me what on earth my problem was. Only his language was much coarser than that. And I replied, as innocently as I could, that I was merely following their example. That I just assumed that was the way people fought in England. Trying to protect their friends in a fight even though the friend was perfectly capable of handling it. I very sweetly told them that when I was a soldier in my country, and I was fighting men who were better trained, better armed, and twice the size of the Sheriff's guards, my comrades and I had always known never to interfere with one another in battle. But English fighting must be different." She finished proudly.
"And what did they say to that?" Marian asked, barely able to contain her enthusiasm.
"Nothing. Not one word. But the next time we fought, they stayed as far out of my way as they possibly could. They still kept an eye on me that day, and for many fights after that one, but they never interfered with me again."
"But what if...I mean, I know you're a good fighter, but what if you...need help one day? Will they be afraid to help you out, or would you even want them too?" Marian asked.
Djaq sighed. "I have often wondered that myself. I know that they are there for me in a fight, just as they know that I am there for them. But, the truth is that I had probably better see to it that I never need them to intervene on my behalf. Because I do not know if they would just come to my aid, or have to think about whether I wanted them to or not, possibly causing them to wait too long. That is sometimes the price we pay for wanting to be treated as an equal, is it not? Because, frankly, they would have no problem if they—the men, I mean—came to each other's aid. Because they would know that it was not done out of protectiveness or a lack of confidence. Only friendship. But, as a woman, I must prove even stronger and more capable because I cannot take the chance that any failure on my part will be seen as weakness. We both walk a fine line. Don't we, Marian?"
Marian merely nodded pensively as they rose in order to say their goodbyes and go their separate ways. But both women found that they felt just a bit less alone in a man's world.
A little while later, as Djaq was walking through the forest with John on their way to Loxley for deliveries, she thought about how much she had been enjoying the past few weeks. Summer had begun again at last and she could not have been happier about it. It had become her favorite English season, not surprisingly.
Although it did not get nearly as hot as her homeland, it was the only time of year when she actually felt comfortable being outside. It still rained quite a bit, of course, but she could live with that. It was preferable, by far, to be wet and warm than it was to be wet and cold, and the farther away from winter she got, the better.
Aside from the wonderful change in weather, she was also pleased to note that she was no longer experiencing nausea and sickness in the mornings. She was relatively certain that it would not return, seeing as it had been over two weeks since her last bout, and this made everyday a little bit better. She still had a constant need to relieve herself, and was dismayed to find that her breasts and her middle section seemed to have begun a competition with one another to see which could stretch the furthest. But she was learning to live with these little inconveniences and would not allow them to dampen her good spirits.
She was no closer to a happy balance in her relationship with Will, however, and this did cause her some concern. But, seeing as she had been so busy learning about the history of the wise women and the work they do, she had had much less time on her hands during which to miss him.
"Will you be staying in the village again after we are done with drop offs?" John's words broke her out of her reverie.
"Yes, I have some things to do there. You do not have to wait as I may be a while." She said, smiling at her friend.
"I'll wait." Was all he said, leaving no room for discussion.
Djaq nodded at him, still smiling, and quickened her pace. As much as she enjoyed helping the villagers by delivering food to them, she found that she could hardly wait to be finished with that part today. She was very much looking forward to spending time with Matilda and learning more of these ancient ways that fascinated her so. It reminded her of her childhood days when she had had such a thirst for knowledge that she had soaked up everything in sight. She had not felt that kind of excitement in a very long time. Her companion smiled and , noticing her enthusiasm, decided to hurry along as well.
Meanwhile, at Nottingham castle, Marian fidgeted as she watched Sir Guy of Gisborne approaching.
"Marian, what are you doing here?" He made his best attempt at looking and sounding bored as he strode over, but could not help the tiny skip that his heart made at the sight of her. She was wearing the loveliest green dress that hung just low enough at the neck to allow him to peek down her blouse without being obvious. He snapped his eyes back up to her face almost instantly. He did not like to think of Marian that way.
"I'm here to kidnap you." Ha! Those last minute alterations to the neckline of her top would do the trick this time, she was certain. She had seen his eyes roam up and down her chest and, although she found his leer rather revolting and she hated resorting to such tactics, she was relatively sure that she would be able to command his attention for long enough this time to finally get some useful information.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me. I'm here to kidnap you. I wish you to accompany me on a ride and I will not take no for an answer this time." She flashed him her most perfect smile. She had been attempting to lure him away from the Sheriff's presence for weeks now, knowing that he was unlikely to give away any important details where the Sheriff might overhear. But, try as she might, she could never get him further than the castle courtyard. She refused to become discouraged, however.
"As I have told you, Marian, I am needed here. A man in my position can not simply pick up and go riding anytime he chooses. Perhaps, in a few weeks' time, I will be more available. Check back with me then." And he abruptly turned to go.
"Sir Guy, wait!" She wanted so badly to prove to Robin that she could do this.
He couldn't help but smile at the desperation in her tone. Try as she might to convince the world otherwise, Marian was not so unlike other women. Ignore them and they become putty in your hands. He wiped the smile from his lips before turning around to face her. "Yes? What is it now?" He again feigned disinterest.
"Surely you will not again try to send me away with the same tired excuses about the Sheriff expecting an important visitor? You have been saying the same for weeks now and yet I have seen no sign of anyone arriving. Nor do there appear to be any preparations underway for a reception. And, surely, if there were, my father and I would have been informed by now. We are still leading members of the Nobility, after all. Is there really such a visitor expected or are you merely trying to politely refuse my requests for your company?" She asked coyly, hoping to at least be able to pin him down on an arrival date.
"Why is that any concern of yours? My reasons are immaterial, are they not? You will be informed of anything that you need to know when and if the Sheriff deems it appropriate. Until then, you will have to accept my word."
"I..." Oh how she hated this. She allowed the slightest hint of a pout to grace her lips as she readied herself to play upon his ego. "I never get to see you anymore. That is all. You are always so busy and now you are living at the castle so I see even less of you. I just hope that the Sheriff appreciates how much he owes you."
"Maybe you would be able to see more of me if you had completed your wedding vows to me rather than acting like some sort of low-born mare at the altar!" He spat. He saw her flinch and immediately regretted his words. He had been reacting more to her statement about the Sheriff appreciating his contributions than anything else.
"Of course, Guy. I have tried to apologize to you for my behavior at our wedding and to explain the reasons behind my outburst. But it was foolish of me to think that you could ever forgive me or that we could ever again be...friends. I won't trouble you any further." And she turned to walk away. She was actually torn between wanting him to come after her so that she could try to get more out of him, and wanting to be as far away from him as possible in case his temper flared even more.
"Marian, wait. I'm sorry. I did not mean to bring up any unpleasantness. Of course I appreciate your attempts to renew our...friendship. And I assure you, there is a visitor. A very important one. That is why I am needed here. The Sheriff has been expecting him for several weeks and we have just received word that he is finally on his way."
Finally! "My. He must be traveling from quite a distance if it is taking so very long." She tried. "I am sorry that you have been kept waiting. A man like you must have so many important things to attend to." She threw in at the last moment to cover any curiosity in her tone.
"He is coming from London, actually." What did secrecy matter any longer? She would know where the man was from as soon as he and his party arrived in Nottingham. Just as long as she did not suspect his reasons for being here. "He is a Saracen man, actually, and he is traveling here with a rather large retinue on a peace mission. Prince John has been entertaining him for quite some time now and he wishes him to stop off in Nottingham on his way to the port before returning home."
"A peace mission? That is good news then. The sooner peace is declared, the sooner the King may return. Well, then. I shall not keep you from it any longer. I trust that we can see more of one another at some point in the near future. Good day, Sir Guy." And she smiled sweetly and forced herself walk towards the stables at a leisurely pace until she was out of his line of sight. Then she hopped on her horse and raced, as fast as she dared, into the forest. This was the biggest break they had had in quite some time, and she wanted to let Robin know of it as soon as possible.
She had actually begun to despise the work she had been doing over the past few weeks. She hated having to resort to flirting and pouting in order to be useful to her king and her people...not to mention Robin. It made her sick to her stomach at times. She knew that there were so many other things she could be doing to help. So many skills she possessed that would be useful. Why did it always seem to end up with her having to use her feminine wiles rather than her mind or her fighting skills?
But today she would not let those thoughts spoil her success. She thought over what Djaq had said earlier about the fine line that they walked and Marian knew that she had done what she'd had to do, just as she always did. And now she finally had some useful information about the Sheriff's plan. Plus, from what Guy had told her, she could tell that there was much more going on than even Robin had suspected. So she congratulated herself on a job well done as she rode on into the forest.
