Ok, this will be the last chapter for Deadpool/MLP. However, if you request additional ones added and keep DP in MLP a little while longer , I can always find a way to squeeze that in.

When we last left Deadpool, he was on a chaotic spree ranking up a substantial amount brownie points with the vivacious goddess Eris. From the Crystal Empire, to the breezies cave, and now he ended up in Cloudsdale. The mane six were on a pony hunt for Deadpool, well with the exception of 1, Rarity, who has felt nothing but emptiness and impotence. Her horn had been cut off by Deadpool during their encounter in Manehatten. So 5 of the mane 6 worked tirelessly to find our favorite merc. However, Deadpool was actually in Cloudsdale for about 5 days after Trixie gave him temporary wings. After he revieled himself, he set his last grenade in the Rain Reservoir( used to make rain, :P ) and made a gigantic hole where the water was now draining , along with Deadpool.

_Cloudsdale_

*HOLY CRAP, LOOK LOOK LOOK*

Deadpool attention was detained, focusing on the fact he's falling without a parachute. During his time in Jump City, he went through the same situation, but ended up in the Hostpital.

Deadpool: " Umm…..hit pause on that….I think we might be screwed on this one."

(Couldn't we have Double Jumped?)

Deadpool: " DAHH, Dammit. I forgot about double jumping. That's the first thing you forget when screwing around with a new fighting game."

(It would have been nice to get a manueal with it, when they stop making them)

*They stopped dishing those out years ago, there , $60 bucks and no manual , GET OVER IT AND LOOK*

Glistening in the sunset, tranquil, visually sedative, there was a huge rainbow , formed from the water dispersing in the air.

Deadpool:" Huh, didn't plan on that…she might be pissed. "

*Who? Eris?*

(Actually I bet even money it would be her)

Parallel from Deadpool was Raibow Dash, gritting her teeth while dive bombing towards the ground at around the same rate as deadpool. She was moving fast enough for her trade mark rainbow stream to be seen.

Deadpool:" HEY SKITTLES….CHECK THIS OUT….MY RAINBOW MAKES YOUR LOOK LIKE A FLAG AT A GAY PRIDE PARADE…..HEY….I'M SAYING YOUR RAINBOW SUCKS…I KNOW YOU'RE PISSED , BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL. OH FINE….JUST FALL AND POUT oh wait she can't hear me, frikin movie myth. Saban is going to get an angry letter about the first scene in that power ranger movie."

*You're still going on about that?*

( Fellas, she's going faster…..and it looks like she's powering up)

Deadpool: " What kind, Anime Power up , Barrel of a gun power up , did she eat a bean burrito and can't hold it?

Rainbow Dash, well…she was mad enough to where her blind rage took over. Then without a warning , she busted with a final speed boost, and created another trade mark technique, The Sonic Rainboom. It was timed perfectly for Deadpool to fall into, and get hit with the recoil. Instead of falling, he was now heading parallel to the ground, gliding , slowly descending.

_Ponyville_CMC Treehouse _

Applebloom: " Taint fare! "

Sweetie Belle: " It'll eventually grow back, in a year..till then she might have to close the shop."

Scootalooo: " Unbelievable. The most generous pony in Equestria gets her horn lopped of, while the rest of her friends ended getting sick, a boo boo from a dumpster, and Twlight is just annoyed. How come he didn't do anything to her, she's the princess?"

(CRASH)

Deadpool:" *cough* Ok *cough* let's call it a draw. Well *cough* skittles."

POW

Deadpool:" OWw, oh hey girls *still laying down looking up* I'm guessing this is *cough* Ponyville, hit me if I'm right."

KABIFF

Deadpool:" Cool, I knew that was coming, so I might as well give it a job"

KABIFF

Deadpool:" OWWW, are you agreeing , or am I gonna end up in the hostiptal again?"

*Out of the frying pan…..*

(And into the…)

Appleoom: " CUTTIE MARK CRUSADERS ATTACK"

(…crusades?)

Deadpool: *whisper*is my spine back where I left it."

*Eeyup*

(I'm getting tired of that)

Even though they were just fillies, they got the same treatment as everyone else. Deadpool reached back with his head and pulled out his remaining katana in a defense position.

Deadpool:" Now that I have your full attention, well the katana speaks for itself… *ear to katana* what's that now …uh huh….uh huh…Mr. Pointy Thing would like you to stop staring at him when he's naked….and uh..oh yeah,….. BACK OFF!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders eyes grew wide with fear, anxiety, and dread. Already the worst case scenario is dancing in their heads. None of the girls have experienced any endeavors that the mane 6 have, now all of a sudden their valor is being tested.

Sweetie Belle: " Nnn.. ..NO!"

Deadpool:" Deadpony says what?"

*what?*

(what?, ohhhhh, literally Deadpony. Not the clever name they gave us on deviant art)

Sweetie Belle:" After what you did to my sister…..to everypony….."

Deadpool:" You'll have to be more specific. "

Sweetie Belle: " RARITY. *starts crying* you cut off her horn*sniff, wipes nose* and now she won't stop crying , she won't eat, she can't even work because she can't control her magic,*sniff*."

Deadpool:" Ohhh, listen, I don't have to explain my actions to you girls. This is grown up "business "and while a may act like a deviant kid, I'm an adult."

*Good thing you're wearing that mask*

( A lie that poker players could see a mile away)

Deadpool: " So let's just leave the grown up business to the grown ups before you meet the business end of Mr . Pointy Thing. "

Sweetie Belle:" I'm not moving!"

Applebloom:" After all dat yammerin bout cider, then I come to find out you done hit my sister with a dumpster. You ain't getting out a this one. I'm staying right here"

Scootaloo:" The whole town felt awful the day after you set up that party. Not to mention Rainbow Dash couldn't believe she let you slip through her hooves. I'm finishing what she started.

Deadpool:" Dems fightin words…ok, before this goes down, can I give you my end of this proverbial crap storm I just went through. Applebloom, did your sister tell you that she hit me with a whole dumpster first?

Applebloom:" She wouldn't of don nuthin ifin you just put away yur sword..

Deadpool :" Mr. Pointy Thing."

Applebloom:" IT DON'T MATTER"

Deadpool:" I give little miss Mott's apple sauce a scare bear stare , and that equals dumpster, heh. I've really out done myself. AND YOU, Scootaloo, forget that I just rymed and give a listen. Where I'm from , we drink that stuff all the time, sadly one of the side effects is what they just went through. Don't blame me for a hangover. If you wanna play ya gotta pay."

Scootaloo:" Hangover what?"

Deadpool:" Ahh, so young, so innocent. It's better you don't find out. Finally , Sweetie belle, she's lucky to be alive right now. The one thing that was repeated through my drill sergeant's mouth back when I was a soldier, was verbal diarriea , but that's beside the point. *clears throught* Disarm your opponent , and chances are they have nothing to fall back on. She took out her weapon, which in my book, doesn't mean "give me a kiss and a hickey,"

*If that were true , Domino and Outlaw would be covered in them. We could play connect the dots on them with chocolate syrup!*

( XD)

Deadpool:"….it means she want to do me harm. Yeah, I cut off her horn , sue me. It'll grow back so what are gabbing about?"

Sweetie Belle:" You don't know a thing about unicorns do you? She can't use her magic to do anything. Now she has to learn how to do everything like an earth pony, but the worst part is that she won't be able to make dresses like she use to.

Deadpool:" Cry my a river and drowned in it. I got news for ya, usually I just screw around with people's heads like Bugs Bunny did with the Opera singer. My convictions gave me a pimp smack on my butt when I found out that they were taking me to be turned to stone. Not buried up to my neck in the ground and pelted with rock, not even a new pair of Italian cement shoes, but …stone …cold…statue. Only thing I had to look forward to was taking off my mask right before they did it. I could flipped them the bird, but I'm lacking in said bird, index , pinky , and the almighty thumb. I don't think so, Noope!

Sweetie Belle: " Are you out of your mind?"

Deadpool: " Totally!"

Applebloom:" All we done is welcome you in like the gentle colt we thought you were. We let you in our home, treated you like family. I aint just talkin bout us. Everypony! "

Scootaloo:" Do you even have proof?"

Deadpool:" A cackle of cockatrice came and tried turn me into stone, no sooner than when I escaped the train (for the first time) after hearing your sister and Twilight talk about it. "

Scootaloo:" And?

Deadpool:" And what, you know how rare it is to see that many cockatrice in one flock. In Final fantasy you get 3 at the most, then again they only had three slots for enemies at that time, then 9 came out and gave the monsters a frikin +1 invite to the party. "

Sweetie Belle:" Do you think Princess Celestia has a garden filled with colts like you?"

Deadpool: " umm, I'm gonna say yes, but chances are you'll say no , and I'll come back with a retort."

Scootaloo:" So you just pictured the worst case scenario and went with it. I feel sorry for you.

Deadpool:" I….wait….I can't trust…..

Sweetie Belle:" If you're a grown up then take some responsibility, YOU JERK!

_DEADPOOL'S HEAD_

" YOU PSYCHO"

" NUT JOB"
" DAMMIT WADE"

"DON'T SAY A F#)* ING THING WILSON"

"WE AIN'T AND NEVER WILL BE TEAMATES."

"THIS GUY TASTES AWFUL"

"DISGUSTING"

Deadpool:" …..*sheaths sword, Pulls out something from his pouch* ….I didn't want to have to use this, but you've given me no choice. This is an Mk2 grenade. I pull this pin *Pull* and it will explode, sending bits of metal pieces everywhere, slicing anything within a 6 foot radius, but as long as I'm holding this little handle like thingy , it won't go off. Do I have to explain it any further?"

The girls were told about Deadpool's healing factor. They knew if he dropped it, he would survive. The only choice they had was to step aside and let him go. Deadpool stepped around the Crusaders , still locked on to their eyes. He made it to the door, and dropped it, fleeing down the ladder.

Cutie Mark Crusaders:" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…."

Deadpool:" *outside* SORRY TO DISAPOINT YOU, BUT YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES AND STOP HUGGING EACH OTHER. "

Appleblooom: " Wha wha wha *heart beating rapidly* *Looks down* apples?"

Deadpool: " I KNOW THEIR NOT PINAPPLES , BUT IT COULD OBVIOUSLY BE WORSE."

*True , they could have been F )*ING pomegranates*

( Or pears, I HATE PEARS!)

Deadpool ran as fast as he could to get away from the little hell raisers.

*Wouldn't it just suck if they all got like, drama masks for cutie marks after that?*

( Or ones of an actual grenade, they don't exist here so it'll drive them, frikin crazy)

Deadpool:" We gotta make a few stops first, then we go all Oceans 13."

*Oceans 13 where exactly*

Deadpool:" Canterlot"

*WHAT?*

Deadpool:" Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer"

( What are you going on about?)

Deadpool:" ATTICA!"

*Oh, Al Pacino*

_Ponyville Hospital_-

Dr Stable:" Nurse Redheart, did we get the lab results back from everyone who was affected by that hole cider incident."

Nurse Redheart: " Yes Dr. They should be ready within the hour. It's a master sheet of every patient treated so hopefully the anomalies will be clear. "

Dr Stable:" Thank you Nurse Redheart."

The Cider Harvest "party" brought nearly everypony in Ponyville seeking medical attention. Hangovers, were not something they were or even could be accustomed to since alcohol didn't exist, not up until now that is. Dr. Stable thought that the link between what happened in Manehattan, and possibly what made the breezies sick, is linked to whatever happened in Ponyville. He did have other patients to see in addition to the "epidemic," so he made his way to his next patient's room.

Dr. Stable:" Ok Mr…um *looks at chart* Big Willy Johnson."

Deadpool:" That's *points down south* his name, don't wear it out or I'll make you prescribe me Viagra."

Dr. Stable:" For the love of Celestia, what do you want."

Deadpool:" To reach in your pockets and grab something *gets up*"

Dr Stable: STAY BACK… NOOOOOOO!

_Outside Carousel Boutique _

Deadpool:" Guy throws a hissy fit just cause I wanted some swabs and*looks at swabs* HAH, They have isopropyl ALCOHOL swabs , but not booze.

*The stuff that can you*

( Versus the stuff that focuses on your liver)

Deadpool: " *takes out syringe* I know right, I did them a favor *jabs syringe in leg* Owwwie*cries*.

*You're still afraid of needles? *

( Even after a whole night of continuously cutting off your regenerating leg?)

Deadpool" *pulls plunger* Well , come on dude. You can't block a needle. Even if you tried , you're stick your arms up. The guy trying to stab you would be like "Thanks, made my job easier."

*Whatever ,just get this over with*

Even though night had settles, Deadpool remained in the shadows…..and or bushes. Hiding in one of Rarity's bushes….*snicker* Deadpool started to climb up Rariy's shop to make it to her window.

Deadpool:" Knowing her , she's in bed with an industrial family size tub of ice cream."

Knock Knock

*I don't know why you keep knocking on windows but plow through doors. *

( Both makes you seem like a rapist, although a knock on the window sounds more romantic…..did I just say that)

Rarity:"*sniff* what was that? Opalescence did you make your way outside again? *opens window*

Deadpool: " Shhhh *swabs neck* *jabs syringe in subclavian vein* You've just been upgraded from "Drama Queen" to the mayor of "I told you so town,"you're welcome!"

Rarity:" What did you just inject me with you BRUTE?!"

Deadpool:" Let's see, it could be a neurotoxin from the fugu fish, TTX, in which case you'll be paralyzed within 30 minutes…

Rarity: " Oh…what….I'm *grabs fainting couch* "

Deadpool:" But I drew the short straw so chances are it could be a lethal does of Potassium Chloride ..

Rarity:" OH MY…*grabs couch*

Deadpool:" But I called heads so….you might be looking at radioactive spider venom , so you'll end up having spider powers , fall in love with a red head, get C )K blocked everytime a bad guy pops up…

Rarity:" I CAN'T BE…*grabs couch* wait what?"

Deadpool:" Then it hit me, today is Tuesday, plus I'd never wish that on anybody. "

Rarity:" *DEATHGLARE**grabs Deadpool* IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU JUST VIOLATED MY BODY WITH, I'LL HAVE OPALESCENCE USE YOU AS A SCRATCHING POST TILL MY HORN GROWS BACK."

Deadpool: " Oh well that's good, cause it's not gonna take too long, *pokes horn*"

Rarity:" Oww, WHY YOU"

Deadpool:" My word*British accent* is that a pimple on your forehead?"

Rarity:" EEEEP *Dashes to nearest mirror* I don't see…Oh my Celestia…my horn"

Deadpool:" Is that what that was? I thought it was a white head in a KKK hat."

Rarity:" I don't believe it *starts crying…happy tears* this is unbelievable!"

Deadpool:" Luckily I'm not a grammar Nazi Ms Redundant. "

Rarity:" Is hat what you injected me with, some kind of healing potion."

Deadpool:" Nope, I gave you my blood. You're lucky I'm type O, and a pony. That "healing magic " you guys coined me with. It's not magic, it's a curse. Just because I can heal from anything doesn't mean I can't feel the pain. Honestly I'm the only person who can tell you how it feels to have your head blown off."

Rarity:" mmhmm, well your curse can't be all bad. You got to wrong a mistake you made."

Deadpool:" Mistake, possibly, but not confirmed. I did this this so your sister and her apple bucking friend didn't kick me again. "

Rarity:" *chuckle, sniff* It's just like Sweetie Belle to go out of her way and help others. To be honest I'm simply flabbergasted she didn't tie you up. "

Deadpool:" Threatened her with a bomb, well not a bomb per say, it was an apple, BUT …for all she knew it was a radioactive zombie making tomato powered explosive device, ON FIRE!"

Rarity:" *chuckle* I had you wrong…Wade… my life was taking a turn for the worst….and you brought me back laughing. I don't know why you chose to gallivant around Equestria causing cacophony like tones and rigmarole, but can see you have a good reason, Celstia knows why, but a good one none the less."

Deadpool:" I understood a few of those words then I nodded off, but for all you know, I could just be doing this for fun."

Rarity:" I have an eye for detail Wade, nothing gets by me."

She looked again at his eyes. The eyes of a man (pony) who has seen the worst in people and experience all their hate. A soul that Celestia probably couldn't save.

Deapool:" I uh….have to uhhh…jus…..I… YOU'RE WELCOME, :P"

This was the first time Deadpool had ended a conversation he started. He jumped down from Rarity's Window and set course for Canterlot. Rarity finally was able to go to sleep that night, but not before a pair of eyes saw the entire ordeal.

Pinkie Pie" *Blows bubble pipe* Hmmmmm, very interesting.

_Canterlot_

Deadpool has reached the cream de la cream of Equestrian cities, Canterlot. Home to some of the most glamorous shops, the richest ponies , and Equestrian Royalty. This is the home of Princess Celestia and Luna. At this point…

Deadpool:" Ok writer, just stop with the town description. That might be just DANDY in a book, but this is a FAN-FICTION. Meaning that the people know every detail about the show, they just want a little more. Canterlot, they know where we are. So let them just fill in the FRIKIN BLANKS."

SUCK IT

Deadpool" YOU SUCK IT! Wanna know where I am. I'm smack dab in the middle of Canterlot, sitting at a table, eating greek yogurt that cost me an arm and a leg."

*Not literally folks, but you know he could*

(He's saving that bullet for any form of meat)

Deadpool: " Tell me about it. They won't let me carve my up my own steak , but farmers sure as hell can milk a cow. I bet Cows are just lovin it. I would too if I had 12 nipples being groped by a stranger with strong hands *eats some yoghurt* Hmm, but hey , *gulp* you don't see me singing about it….again."

?" Please excuse our interruption. I'm Jet Set and this is my wife Upper Crust. We saw you from across the cafe and just had to find out where you acquired that eccentric outfit."

Deadpool: " Dude, you know it's not a crime to breathe through your nose. Won't make you any less of snob either."

Jet Set:" Well I must say, you are no gentle colt good sir. "

Deadpool:" You don't approve of me,*British accent* OH NO, WHAT SHALL I DO, I'VE BEEN REJECTED BY THE 1% OF PONIES WHO PROBABLY BLEED BLUE BLOOD AND CRAPS MONEY. Try using a mattress, or a bank. The butt is no place for bits, no matter how much it makes you hold up your nose. F.Y.I. Mrs Upper Crust, you gottta boogie. "

Upper Crust:" Oh my, *sniff* you..you ….why you!"

Deadpool:" You're welcome"

With those parting words of wisdom , they left in a scuffle.

Deadpool:" heh, I kind of wish they would leave their cash in a mattress."

*Easy to steal?"

Deadpool:" Nope"

( Set their house on fire then watch as they die making a dumb decision)

Deadpool:" *takes a bite of yoghurt* Oh yeah, slow and steady might win the race, but it'll F)*K you over in a house fire…..hmm, I can still hear them, do they not know they sound like that."

*Gambit's accent isn't even that thick*

Upper Crust:" I can't believe you tried to associate with such a ruffian."

Jet Set:" Well I just assumed he was a soldier. He carries that sword around as if it was his baby."

Upper Crust:" A soldier dressed in fabric, sounds like a garment that Rarity pony would conjure up."

Jet Set:" *chuckle* Indeed. I admit she has a certain finesse for abstract fashion, but word through the apple orchards is that somepony cut off her horn. "

Upper Crust:" *chuckle* my eyes are sure thankful , knowing that I won't have to see any more of her garments again."

Jet Set:" Not unless she uses the horn as a tie pin."

Both took off down the streets , laughing at Rarity's former predicament. Little did they know Deadpool snuck on to another table closer to them hiding behind a newspaper.

*The List*

(The List )

Deadpool: " Oh yeah, I'm getting my list."

In case you didn't know, this is a list a sort of "bucket list " Deadpool has made over the years. However since he's not likely to die anytime soon, he decided to just add to the list and check off one that he could do during one of his jobs.

Deadpool:"*whips out list* Let's see…rant on actual soap box…..make Pluto a planet again…Kill Ryan Reynolds….Ah, Crash A Rich Guys Party. "

*Wait, do you know they're gonna have a party *

( Devine intervention, this was meant to be)

Deadpool:" Maybe, was it devine intervention that I found this in the paper*points*."

*"The Grand Galloping Gala." Hmm, like moths to a flamethrower *

(Except this flame thrower needs a ticket, invite only)

Deadpool:" Great, social event of the "Blue Bloods" and "Hoity Toity ." and we're stuck trying to find a last minute ticket. *sigh* I knew I couldn't cross that off just yet."

?:" Cross what off my good sir?"

Next thing you know , Deadpool comes face to face with another rich occupant of Equestria.

Deadpool:" Umm, it's my "bucket list" to which I'm going to check off "meeting a penguin," unless that's a tuxedo. If so then I need to add then check off my list. I'd tip my hat off for wearing that 24/7 , but I'm waiting for the rich pony who wear a top hat everywhere to come by. "

?:" Hahahhaha, oh my *laughter* Touché old sport. I hate to inform you that I'm not a penguin. Oh but how rude of me, allow me to introduce myself, Fancy Pants, and this is my associate miss Fluer Dis Lee. "

Deadpool:" Fancy Pants? Are you sure you're not a penguin? Tell me that you're at least a pimp for having someone as fine as miss lee hang on your soldier. Then again it would suck since "pimp" on my list involves me slapping one. "

Fancy Pants:" OH my * Laughter* How Droll."

Fleur Dis Lee:" *snicker* indeed."

*At least someone is enjoys our presence*

Fancy Pants:" Are you in the entertainment business Mr…um.

Deadpool:" Uhh Clease, John Clease, and yes. In some circles I'm known as the crimson comedian."

Fancy Pants:" Well then , you must come with me to tonights get together."

Deadpool:" If it's a gathering of Insane Clown Posse fans I'm going to be very upset."

Fancy Pants:" I'm not sure I understand what you mean, but I couldn't help but over hear you talking and mention the Grand Galloping Gala. Honestly it's been dreadfully uneventful the last few years, and I thought you might be willing to spice things up a bit."

Deadpool:" Really? You want to take me as your plus one? What about the New Orleans Saints fan there?

Fleur Dis Lee: " Actually I was invited weeks before any pony else."

Deadpool:" Of course you were."

*Eye candy *

( Trophy …umm…whatever their relationship is)

Deadpool:" I'd be happy to join you."

Fancy Pants:" MARVEL-OUS!"

Deadpool:" You have no idea"

_Later that night on a mountain near Ponyville_

Mountain tops are the perfect place for a dragon to store their treasures. It's secluded, can easily be expanded , and no one is likely to climb up unless they were looking to be burned. At this particular mountain top, a red dragon was perched in front of a cave filled with unimaginable treasures. Only he was not alone.

Eris:" Mmmm, such powerful creatures. Yet so stupid. Guarding a treasure that no one dare to touch, only to fill the monster greed. Making the beast all the more powerful as a result."

Eris strolled around the cave, actually she just walked around the dragon since it's body barricaded the it.

Eris:" I must admit, Deadpool has been more than successful, but this is personal. *touched the dragons head* Listen to me dragon, treasures await just beyond your grasp, but selfish Princesses claim it for their own, and have been doing so for a millennia. Show them that your collection far exceeds theirs, and add it to yours."

With that final whisper, Eris placed her hand on the dragons head. Her magic started to flow through the beast, sending it into a murderous rage, with Eris's words to direct it. Suddenly it took to the sky, on a voyage of unknown treasures.

_Canterlot Castle: Grand Hall, 30 minutes into the party_-

Deadpool:" So then the talent agent say's " Wow , that was some show. What do you guys go by?"

And the father , stands up, bare $$ed , looking over his family , throws his hands up and say, " THE ARISTOCRATS."

Everypony within a three feet radius, wear in stitches. Deadpool charmed the pants off of every Blue Blood in the grand hall.

Filthy Rich:" HAHAHAHAH, oh my , *sniff* oh my word Mr. Clease, I haven't laughed this hard in decades. "

Hoity Toity:" The Aristocrats , HHAAHAHAH."

Deadpool:" I know right"

_Deadpool's head_

*ok , run this by me one more time*

( This sounds too good to be feasible)

" This is the perfect set up gentleman, while Fancy Pants forced me to pick out some clothing "

*Forced you?*

" Shut up! Anyway I managed to get my hands on some H2SO4 , aka Sulfuric acid"

( How did you managed that?)

"Don't question greatness. As I rant, a dilutued concetraion is flowing through every inch of the piping in the whole damn castle."

*Even the toilets, what happens if someone drops the kids off at the pool?"

( or discards a used condom?)

" at this level, it only works on fabric and synthetic hair. Besides I didn't use the entire system. Look up…the sprinkler system is set up on it's own tank. I managed to dump it in there ,so it'll continue to flow until I set fire to an unsuspecting plant."

*Nice*

( *yawn*)

" I knew you'd do that, so I added a little something extra.*

(DO TELL)

"red dye. Any piece of clothing that survives won't matter when people think the apocalypse is coming on the reins of blood."

(PERFECT)

*Their blue collars will be red in no time. No need for a blade XD*

CRASH

A dragon nearly crashes into the entire grand hall. While it's disoriented from the fall, as well as Eris's manipulation spell, Deadpool becomes a little confused. While everypony is screaming and running around like a chicken with its head cut off, he's just standing , almost feeling relieved.

Deadpool :" Or….a dragon can randomly make an entrance "

*Works for me*

( He might set off the water sprinklers regardless of what we do)

Deadpool" Sweat, I'm gonna grab a couple canapés and call this adventure a success. "

Deadpool didn't even bother to see the fruits of his labor. He let the dragon do as it pleased. Walking around and sniffing every pony in site. Why was everyone still in the room?

Deadpool:" DAMMIT, I locked the doors*sits down* Might as well make myself comfy"

?:" Don't you even dare think about bringing that nose near me."

Dragons, proud creatures, don't so well with order from lesser beings. With the exception from Fluttershy and her "stare," no one has been able to order a dragon around. This was no exception. The pony that the dragon had been sniffing, well…it was Rarity. With her horn back to it's former glory, she decided to attend the Gala with the invitation she had received from Fancy Pants. It was only know she regretted putting on enough perfume to attract Discord himself, but the dragon only felt greed, looking for any treasure that would visually excite him. Then his gaze turned to Rarity. The dress she wore for the occasion was studded with enough gems to be truly outrageous.

Rarity:" *slaps dragons snout* Don't you even think about it. "

Little did she know that this dragon was embedded with Eris's magic. All the dragon saw was a pony getting in it's was. From there, it started to take in a breath hard enough for the canapés to fly off of its tray. Everypony, who was locked in the grand hall, knew what was happening. The dragon was getting ready to set fire, to the only pony with enough gusto to slap a dragon in the nose. The Dragon caught its breath, and let out wave of flame onto Rarity. Everypony saw her engulfed in dragon fire. Her failed attempt to use her magic and find something to shield herself ….well, I'll let you be the observer.

Rarity : " NOOOOOOO."

?:" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THEY WERE RIGHT….IN THE NEW KNEW LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIE….DRAGON FIRE HURTS SO F *$ING BAD."

Rarity could only see darkness, until the dragon's lungs were empty.

Rarity:" *looks up* WADE!"

This, this was the one of few moments, where Deadpool had sacrificed himself for someone else. A lifetime of pain , was as equally concentrated as the dragon fire. Deadpool shielded Rarity from the dragon's fire. Rarity only maintained a few scratches from falling. All thanks to Deadpool. Whose clothes had been burned to nothing, leaving only his spandex suit, with the exception of his entire back being burned to a crisp, exposing his soft tissue and bone to Equestria. Not knowing the intense heat from a dragon. Deadpool was …for the first time in pain ...pain that actually hurt..and was afraid that he might never come back from it. While the dragon tried to inhale another breath, 5 figures , who were just blurs from Deadpool's perception , subdued the dragin with quick elemental magic precision.

*can..we just stop…this hurts too much.*

(I'd like do go to sleep now, wake me when we're dead)

Deadpool:"*cough* Hugh Jackman…..ain't got S!%T….on me *gasp*"

Deadpool finally collapsed.

Rarity:" Wade, *shake* my friends are here, they stopped the dragon*shake* Don't be rude again. Don't make me call my sister and her friends* holds back tears, bring hoof mouth* please…..please wake up….*shake* NO …NOOOOO , You said you can heal*crying * from anything , PLEASE WAKE UP. YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH PAIN* crying* PLE..AAASE WAKE UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP."

_-Deadpool's Head_

" If I knew I was going to kick the bucket that night…..I would've …well….*chuckle* F#&k! I have no idea. That bucket list was more like something I thought up of while on the john using bound toilet paper"

" It would be the same crap , in a different pile. I don't believe in destiny, I believe that we're all idiots. Doomed to repeat the same mistakes if given the chance to re-live my spiraling toilet bowl I called an adventure. Yup, giving the secret nod of approval to kill , the odd handshake to kill the dude that did that thing he did to whatever blah blah blah. To end up with cancer, to say F #K the treatment along with my on/off again girlfriend, to let Weapon X slice me open and do what I was paid to let them drill in me, Eeyup…"

" At least I know Death. Despite every cartoon depiction of the Grimm Reaper, Death, Republicans…...
I knew her, I welcomed death, if only to have a friend after everything that's happened to me. I only wish that….

DEATH:" I'm…so sorry my love…no matter how hard you try…no matter how much I wish….you still come out on top."

Deadpool:" Babe, wait what ? Come out on top?

Deadpool:" BOB'S YOUR UNCLE…*falls out of bed* *get's up in embarrassment* Whatever I said in my dreams can't be used against me in….a court….of ….ponies. Ok I guess I'm still alive."

Twilight Sparkle. " You sound disappointed"

Deadpool:" no….*looks around * ….but I might."

AppleJack:" Shucks, any pony that can spring up like a daisy after being bucked by me with a dumpster, you musta been wearin golden shoes shaped like a clover."

Deadpool:" Totally ….ummmm, was anything inserted in my person while I was unconscious?"

Fluttershy:" Well, you were brought to the castles private medical facility after the…

Deadpool:" Answer the question, if I got a prostate exam without my consent, well, I want to find out who gave the ok t dig around in there. I won't let someone wave their finger in my face let alone my …"

Rainbow Dash:" Don't ….don't say it. No one even thought of doing that."

Deadpool:" *Phew* thanks Skittles. "

Pinkie Pie :" Still, you had us worried , I was this close to giving you C-to-M resuscitation"

Deadpool:" What, is the C something I should know about?"

Pinkie Pie:" Cupcakes, *munch * I brought enough to ….

Twilight Sparkle:" Pinkie , not now..

Pinkie Pie:" Oky dokey, more for me."

Twilight Sparkle:" Well…..Mr Deadpool, I believe we need to have a discussion. Right now my mentor and constituents are waiting in the throne room. "

Deadpool: " *sigh* for the evaluation, you know what , fine. Just let me get into something that doesn't smell like a burning Santa Clause."

From the door of Deadpool's private castle medical quarters.

Rarity:" I believe I can help* Walks over to Deadpool* I tool the liberty of …..well ..I have a gift for guessing sizes …and well….hopefully it meets your standards."

Using her newly grown horn, Rarity's magic glowed around a red box she had brought in. It hovered over Deadpool's covers before landing on his lap. He opened it , to reveal.

Deadpool:" *chuckle* you made me a new uniform, and a new mask. My favorite colors too."

Rarity:" I mean of course it may look the same, but you had a polyester blend. I decided to make it 50/50 Lycra and spandex. It should feel like a second layer of skin darling..*Blush*"

Twilight Sparkle:" We'll leave you to put that on, be ready in 20 minutes."

Deadpool:" ….peachy keen jelly bean…"

All but Rarity stayed

Rarity:" I can assure that I've voiced your good deeds to the princess. My sister contributed as well, she informed us of the dissonance that may have transpired when I suggested to twilight when we first met, of the while "stone" incident. Please ..just know that."

Deadpool:" This isn't my first rodeo, ya think I'm the kind of pony that wouldn't keep bouncing back in court?"

Rarity:" actually, Twilight informed me that , you're not from our world."

Deadpool:" Oh, well then there ya go, just imagine what goes on outside of Equestria."

Rarity:" Can…Can I make one request?"

Deadpool:" if chasing after my butt has taught you anything , it's to go with the flow, just ask and…

Rarity:" Can ..I see you without your mask?"

Deadpool:"…*sigh* what the hell, might as well extinguish this flame before Eris sends me off to a far off place only the writer knows."

For the Second time, with her newly formed horn however, Rarity uses her magic to remove Deadpool's mask. He exhibits no hesitation.

Rarity:" Ohh….so this is why you we're so hesitant before."

Deadpool:" This *waves hoof around body* all of this, happened long before the dragon's fire. "

Suddenly they both looked at each other. Locked as if Rarity had broken into Deadpool's window.

Deadpool:" I mean, I'm used to….this..hell…one time this complete douche called um Wolverine..he WhOA Wait….."

Silence whispered in Deadpool's room. He wasn't turned to stone, he didn't succumb to his injuries ( In fact he's healed up to 100% before they dragged him here). The only thing that kept him silent, was something else, well somepony else. Despite Deadpool's appearance, and even his transgressions, Rarity could see the good in him that the world has tried to extinguish. In a nutshell….

*BECAUSE YOU KEEP US IN SUSPENSE YOU D #K!*

Everyone's a critic. Anyway, Rarity was kissing Deadpool. Just like "Beauty and the Beast," there was more about Deadpool once you get passed his scars.

Spike:" Hey guys I managed to…

They broke away just in time.

*THE IRONY, ANOTHER DRAGON BLOCKED US!*
( Use any cinema scene in SKYRIM, Yup, that's us)

Spike:" Are you guys ok"

Rarity:" Perfectly fine"

Deadpool: " Satisfied…"

Rarity:" I'll see you in the throne room then"

Rarity walks out of Deadpool's room. Spike gave Deadpool the "I am watching you" hand gesture."

Deadpool:" Hey , spike. I need a few things before, I change. Trust me this'll be fun. Also …I need you to write a letter."

_Throne room_-

Spike :" *ahem* Princesses , I give you , Deadpool.

You could hear wheels squeaking, a guard was obviously pushing some kind of cart. A figure started to materialize down the hallway. It was Deadpool, being pushed on a hand-truck dolly, in a straight jacket, with a muzzle, wearing his updated uniform. The guard promptly placed him in front of the four princesses.

Princess Luna:" *chuckle with hoof to mouth*"

Princess Cadence:" *laughing under breath*"

Princess Twilight:" *facehoof(palm) why can't anything be simple with him"

Princess Celestia:" Well…um Mr. Deadpool. "

Deadpool:" *best Anthony Hopkins voice* Good evening Clarice, come closer to the glass…..CLARICCCCCCCCEEE. …..no one , really? I'm ready to be jusged by 1 ..2..3..4 princesses, wow."

Princesses Celestia:" Well, your record speaks for itself, the princesses have given me their reports , and I have ..inspected you ..*ahem * apparel."

Deadpool:" I have a permit for that rubber chicken ."

Pinkie Pie :" What?"

Princesses Celetia: " And I believe that..*Ahem* given all of your transgressions , as well as your selfless acts "

Deadpool:" Alcohol , you're welcome."

Twilight Sparkle :" SHHHHH, zip it!"

Princess Celestia:" I have come to the conclusion that….you …Mr. Wade Wilson…aka Daniel way…aka Leeroy Jenkins….aka…

As she went through the list of aliases Deadpool went by during his time in Equestria. Deadpool, of course thought the worst.

Princess Celestia:" I can say without a doubt, that you are not a threat to Equestria, and I welcome you with an open heart."

Deadpool:" OBJECTION, HOLD IT, TAKE THAT…WHAT! "

_Appleloosa _

Deadpool:" And that's all I have to say about that."

Braeburn:" ummmmm, Eeyup….I gotta go.

Braeburn ran out of the saloon lickety split. Deadpool just walked out , paying no mind that he just gave most of his story to a pony that might of fancied him. He went across the street, and picked up the new katana he ordered. Without hesitation he slipped it in his empty sheath.

Deadpool:" Ahh, to be whole again, speaking of which , I WANT MY FINGERS BACK!

A portal opened up behind him. The same portal he had used before, and would again. However , every time he went through those portals, well, let's just say that the pony he was yesterday is completely different from the man he was slowly getting back to today.

To be continued.

P.S.

- Just to give you a bit a reminder, and teaser. The next series will be Deadpool kickin ass in "ADVENTURE TIME." This was suggested to me by one of my readers. Again , please tell me where you want me to send Deadpool next.

P.P.S.

- The next series opens with the letter he asked Spike to write, XD.