Daniel is waiting for her at the baggage claim with a cheesy grin and flowers. It's sweet, really, it is. They aren't her favorite flowers and aren't even a color she likes, which is just a perfect symbol of their relationship, isn't it?
"Hey babe," he says, leaning in to kiss her.
She turns so he catches her on the cheek.
"Daniel," she says, shocked by how confident her voice is. "I think we need to talk."
He raises an eyebrow. "Of course, let's go home."
It's not easy. It's awkward is what it is, but Regina owed him a face-to-face discussion.
When they get to Daniel's modern looking apartment, she heads to the couch and sits down.
"Did something happen?" He asks, and he looks nervous and scared for perhaps the first time ever.
"I've been away from you for three months, Daniel. Did you miss me?"
"Of course I did!" Daniel exclaims, "I…. is this about me not calling enough? Because—"
"No. It's about us not knowing one another well enough to miss one another. I know you didn't buy me all those thoughtful gifts I thought you did. I was upset until I realized I was an idiot to ever think you got them. You never made an effort to get to know you, and I was never open enough with you to show you who I really am. And that's not your fault, Daniel. But I can't do this. I can't marry you."
He looks shocked, brow furrowed.
"But you moved here," he reminds. "You packed up your entire life, you quit your job!"
"Daniel, I just told you I'm not going to marry you and you're talking about logistics. What does that say about the state of our relationship?"
"This is crazy, Regina, you just have a bit of nerves, you—"
"No," she says, a slight smile spreading over her lips. "this is the calmest I've been since you proposed. I know this is the right decision."
"This is crazy," Daniel repeats, sitting down on the couch, looking a bit dazed.
Yet there's not even a hint of a tear in his eye. And she thinks that yes, this will be hard, but she's had worst conversations by far.
This won't be as difficult as saying goodbye to Robin was for her. Not at all.
.::.
It is warm and sunny in Los Angeles, but in New Jersey, it's snowing.
She knows about the weather because Mary Margaret has already called to give her an update, and to ask how Daniel is. Regina hasn't told her about the breakup — she won't, not right away.
She knows who she has to talk to first.
"Well you know, it's John's birthday, and he wanted to go to that unlimited drink and food place? But I guess Robin wasn't feeling any better, because he only showed up for about a half hour before telling us he had to go. And he's been ignoring our texts. I'm actually worried about him."
"I hope it's nothing serious," Regina mutters softly.
"I think he misses you. We all do."
"No, it is probably the holiday blues. He wouldn't mope around and isolate himself just for me," Regina says, knowing it's a lie.
"Regina," Mary Margaret sighs. "Come on, we all know how much you matter to him."
"When is his flight to Montana?" Regina asks, scared the conversation may get too real if they head down the path of Robin missing her
"Supposed to be tomorrow around one PM or something. But with the snow, who knows? John is worried they might be stuck here. I told them they are all welcome at my house."
"Right, thanks for the update."
"How are things with Daniel?" Mary Margaret asks, "How's California?"
"I… I have to go, I'm sorry. I'll tell you all about it later."
The snow proves difficult. Even with enough airline miles for what should be a round-trip ticket, with the snow and the cancellations and last minute flight change, a one-way ticket home is difficult.
"It is just a little storm tonight, little bit enough to cancel a few flights. But tomorrow night is supposed to be a doozy. Will probably shut down everything from Philadelphia to Boston," an attendant tells her. "So if you can't get a flight tonight I can't say you'll find anything before Christmas. I'm so sorry, are you trying to get home to see your family for the holidays?"
"Yes," Regina croaks, because he is her family and has always been. "I just miss them so much. And I'm running out of time."
"Oh, sweetheart," the attendant says, sympathy pouring over the phone, the typing becoming loud in the background, "let me see what I can do."
She misunderstood of course, Regina realizes that. The poor woman thinks Regina is seeing a dying relative. She should correct her, but, well…
This is a bit of an emergency.
She winds up with a ticket to Baltimore and a train ticket to New Jersey. it's not the definition of fun, dragging around two large suitcases and a carry-on, but she's nothing short of grateful, because she's going to make it right before Robin leaves for Montana. Hopefully, she can catch him and plead her case.
It's 10 AM when she gets to the train station and she's not sure where he will be, perhaps waiting at the airport trying to get an earlier flight before that second storm...
She calls him, but his phone is off or (worse) he has blocked her number.
Before she can think too hard about that, her phone rings, John's welcoming face popping up on the screen.
John doesn't ever call her just to talk, so her heart races as she answers the phone.
"Hey, John. Is everything okay?"
"Hey, Regina…" He sounds really awkward and uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I know it's really early over there. I was wondering if you had heard from Robin recently?"
"No," she admits. "Why, is something wrong?"
"Not really," John says quickly. "We have a flight later today but there's a storm headed this way. We weren't supposed to meet for another two hours, but you know, with the snow… I just thought we should leave early. But his phone is shut off and he's not at home. Thought maybe you'd know where he is."
She looks out at the weather, and it's not really too bad, at this moment, it's barely snowing, just a slight dust dry powder in the air. There are several inches on the ground from last night's storm, of course. The trees are covered in it, frozen branches shining in the sunlight, snow blanketing the small patches of the grass she can see.
Would be even more pretty if she weren't in the middle of the city with its traffic everywhere.
And then she just knows.
"Sit tight, John," she says, hanging up quickly.
As she's in her taxi, she calls Mary Margaret to ask what the woman will no doubt feel is a rather strange question.
"Hey, are you home?" she asks, fishing out her spare keys.
"No, David and I are doing some last minute shopping, why?"
"You left my car in your driveway, right?" Regina asks.
"Uh…. yes? Why?"
"No reason, tell David I said hi."
She begs her driver to stop and wait for her, tossing her luggage into the car, packing it high with luggage that was supposed to last her months in California.
The driver should seem surprised, but she guesses he's seen stranger things than a woman putting all nearly all possessions into a snow-covered car.
When she sits back into the car he only shrugs and asks, "Where to next?"
.::.
It's not snowing anymore, and Robin supposes that is a good thing. He's supposed to be at the airport in a bit, and things look good for this flight to Helena.
Or… they would, if it was not snowing there, too.
But he's not going to worry about it right now. His boots are covered in crisp snow, there's that smell of winter in the air, and everything is so soft and still and beautiful out here right now.
His dad would have loved this park. Would have preferred they go into the wooded hiking trails, but Robin always liked being near the water during winter. Frozen water is so beautiful.
Regina loves it, too. One year they went ice skating in Bryant Park. She's not a person he'd take for any sporting activity, but if an activity involves Christmas, all bets are off.
Fuck, he misses Regina so much. He can't get her out of his head for even a moment. She only left two days ago, but he hasn't talked to her since their last night together, a little over two weeks ago. It's by far the longest he's ever gone without seeing her or at least texting her, and he feels so immeasurably lonely and lost. It's so unnatural to lose someone who means so much to you this way. Regina is alive and well a few thousand miles away, hopefully happy, hopefully adjusting to California life, but he doesn't get to know her anymore. He will hear her mentioned offhand by Mary Margaret or Mulan, maybe, but that will be it. He most likely will never see her again, just the finality of that makes him sick to his stomach.
He wishes his dad were still here. Robin's father always had decent advice when it came to interacting with people, he could read them well, figure out what they really were thinking. He was a simple man, but a good one. And Robin just knows his father would have had the perfect thing to say to Regina to get her to stay.
No crazy romantic gesture, no elaborate presents, no big speech.
His dad would just say something, soft and sweet, some magical sentence, and it would fix everything.
"What do I do now, dad?" Robin asks softly into the wind. He prays for an answer, a little early Christmas magic, that maybe his dad can whisper the answer to him, a few precious words that will fix everything.
But it's not Christmas, his father is dead, and magic isn't real anyway, so his question is doomed to be unanswered like all the others he's asked over the years.
He should really get going. He has a flight to catch.
Still, he walks on. There is something oddly peaceful out here. And despite having no answers, he isn't ready to leave quite yet.
So he loops around the lake once more. He takes in the entire scene, untouched snow covering the grass, sparkling as rays of sunshine peak through the clouds. The sky is crystal blue. If it weren't for the snow and you saw this scene, you'd swear it was a beautiful summer day out.
It's not, of course, it's bitter cold. His cheeks and ears are beginning to sting a bit from it, but it doesn't hurt as badly as the ache in his heart, so it's okay, really. He can live with it for a bit longer. The pain is distracting, anyway.
He catches the sight of something moving out of the corner of his eye and turns just in time to see a few deer running by, kicking up snow as they gallop away.
It's beautiful here.
If he weren't so heartbroken he would be able to appreciate the beauty even more.
He looks off into the horizon and for a moment, trying to get himself to appreciate things, to see things the way his father would. He gets lost in thought trying, thinking of these walks with his father when he was younger, how they would say nothing at all for hours and yet he'd never feel closer to his dad then in those moments.
"I knew I'd find you here."
At first, he thinks he must be hallucinating her voice. He's actually worried, too afraid to turn around to see for sure whether he's going crazy or not.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your walk."
He turns around then, and thank god, she's her, and holy hell, how beautiful she is, it almost hurts to look at her, looking like this and not just taking in his arms is killing her.
Her hair is around her face in loose waves, that black coat of her pulled tight, a little blue scarf covering herself from the cold. She looks absolutely stunning, fresh and natural.
God, he loves her.
"Regina?" he asks, and through all the confusion, and all the sadness, he can't help but smile. "You're here?" How?"
"I had to use those airline miles a bit earlier than I had intended," she says softly, and all he can think is he's missed the sound of her voice so much it's pathetic.
He has a thousand questions to ask, but his body moves to wrap around hers as if by instinct. Thank fuck, she hugs him back tightly.
"I… I don't understand." Robin pulls back out of the hug just to make sure it's really her. His vision is cloudy now, eyes watery, fuck it, he won't cry. "You said you never wanted to see me again, I—"
"And that was a terrible mistake. Those were the hardest two weeks of my life, Robin. It was like denying myself oxygen."
Part of him wants to make a chemistry joke, but he's not sure his voice works all that well right now, and he's not sure he could bear to ruin this moment.
She presses on. "You'd think I would have known then, when every moment away from you was painful but…"
Tears are falling down her cheek, and she falls silent for a few moments, before taking a breath, "I'm so sorry, I just missed you so much. I don't think I've gone this long without seeing you."
He can't help but smile now, and grab at her hand, his heart knocking hard as he feels her fingers move to lace in his. They are cold, but they are hers, and they are real.
"I missed you too, you have no idea how much."
She really came back to see him.
"I was on the plane and I read your letter, and…"
Shit, that letter. He didn't want to give it to her, but he thought if he didn't send it, didn't give himself some sort of closure, he might never be over her. In the end, he asked John to slip it in her pocket, but he wasn't sure she'd even read it.
"The whole time I thought the reason I was so upset to move to California was that I loved it here, that it is home, that I'm scared of moving away to what is different and new. I thought I was mad at Daniel for putting me in this position, and let's face it, I deserved to be. He shouldn't have asked me that, sure. But I realized if you moved to California I wouldn't second think it. After two weeks apart from you I'd be on a plane to Antarctica excited to start a new life. I'd move anywhere you went, I wouldn't care if you told me last minute, Robin," Fresh tears well up and fall, and she sobs a bit, he places a hand on her cheek as comfort, an unspoken understanding that she should continue what she's saying, because he needs to hear it. He needs to be sure. "You're home to me, you're the only one that is home to me, and it's been awful without you, and I am so, so sorry it took me this long to realize it."
"You… are you—"
"I broke up with Daniel," Regina says bluntly. He searches her face for pain, some sort of regret, but she's only smiling through her tears. "I don't know what you want, maybe you don't want to see me anymore, you probably shouldn't, not after the way I handled this, I—"
"Of course I want to see you," he swallows, his voice thick, "I always want to see you, Regina."
She lets out this sound, this stifled, choking sob that breaks his heart into a million pieces, she won't cry anymore, he won't ever give her reason to cry again.
"I was so worried about that," she breathes, and he squeezes her hands tight.
"Regina, I would never not want to see you." He needs her to know this, even if this is some sort of fake out she learned from Daniel, even if this conversation leads in her leaving him again, off on some new adventure.
"I love you," she blurts out, tears still streaming down her face, and Robin thinks he might be crying too, tears of relief, or disbelief, or something, his heart cracking wide open, never feeling more raw and vulnerable at this moment. "I'm in love with you. Like nothing I've ever felt before, and it is strong, and wonderful, though sometimes it is painful and awful, but I don't ever want to stop loving you, stop appreciating every part of you. I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't say it before."
He's had about as much as he can take, so he pulls her into his arms, still dizzy and confused with the sudden turn of events.
And then he draws back, and cups her chin and tilts her head up, his thumb swipes over her bottom lip. She looks entranced, and he still feels a bit hypnotized himself. And then he brings his lips to hers and soaks in the feel of her.
They've kissed many times now, and he's appreciated every last kiss they have shared. The soft, and sweet, the frantic and desperate, the passionate and lustful.
This kiss is all at once, somehow. It's tender and measured, then heats, becomes more, and Christ in Heaven how he's missed her, really missed her, every part of her.
"I love you too, Regina." He says softly. But he has to be sure, he can't go through something as awful as the last two weeks, if she pulls away from him again, it would be too difficult to get over again. "I only want to do this if you are all in. These last few weeks have been so hard, I've felt so lost without you, and if you aren't sure, I could at least just take your friendship—"
"I am completely and totally yours, if you'll have me," she says, echoing his words from weeks earlier, and Robin cannot help but laugh.
"I'll have you, of course I will," He laughs, and this still doesn't seem real. "I… I'm sorry I'm a little stunned. I was just thinking about you and…"
There's no magic or miracles in this life. But this, he thinks, this is as close as it gets.
"I was just trying to think about how I was supposed to make it through the holidays when I'm this miserable," Robin chuckles, tears stinging his cheeks.
"You have a plane to catch," Regina smiles, pressing a kiss to his lips. "But don't worry. I'll be here when you get back."
Robin laughs and shakes his head. "Fuck Montana. I'm spending Christmas at home this year."
And in case there is any doubt as to what he means, he kisses her again. He lets his hands tangle in her hair, lets his fingers scratch at the back of her scalp. She shivers, and it's only then he remembers that it is freezing out. He tugs at her hands, pulling her in the direction of his car.
"Let's get you some place warm. I wouldn't want to lose you to frostbite after all of this."
He calls John from the car, all apologetic about having to miss out on Christmas.
"Regina's here," he explains. "I hate to cancel but I really want to spend the holidays with her."
"You won't miss out; the storm is terrible in Montana. Our flight was canceled. Mary and David already invited us over to her family's mansion for Christmas. Apparently there is a pretty elaborate party. I don't know, could be fun. I'm sure she'd love to have you and Regina. And um, Daniel, if Daniel is there, I guess…"
He's trying very hard not to ask too many questions, clearly knowing there's something dramatic going on in the background.
Regina just laughs. She seems she doesn't have a care in the world about what people might think.
.::.
Her life is a mess, and she couldn't be happier about it. She's very soon-to-be-homeless (her lease is up at the end of January), jobless, and has absolutely no idea what the future holds.
Except she's pretty sure it holds Robin, and that's all she needs, it turns out.
She hasn't stopped smiling since he kissed her and she's not sure she ever will again. He's driving her somewhere — she has absolutely no idea where they are going but she hopes to god it's his apartment.
This may be the only time she will be happy to enter that place.
And that reminds her of why she started hating it in the first place.
"I was jealous of Sabine," she says, because being entirely honest is contagious and all her feelings are spilling out. "and all the other women I saw you with."
"Really?" Robin laughs incredulously. "There was never anything serious. I guess Sabine was a bit more… but she told me right off the bat she wasn't looking to settle down. That's why it lasted so long, in retrospect."
"I liked her a lot, but I was jealous of her," Regina laughs. "Should have been with you years ago."
"Maybe, or maybe all the waiting we did will make our time together even better."
Her phone buzzes then, and it's Mary Margaret, and boy, this will be fun. She flashes Robin a coy smile and puts it on speakerphone.
"Hey, Mary."
"Don't you dare just hey Mary me!" Mary Margaret scolds. "David and I just got back from shopping and what do I see but your car full of luggage without so much as a word! Regina at first I thought a hobo had set up camp in there!" Regina has to cover her mouth to keep from laughing and Robin is shaking with laughter "And since when do you just come home without telling me? Are we not best friends? Where are you? Are you okay? I don't know even who you are right now I—"
"I swear I'm fine," Regina laughs.
"Where are you?"
"I'm—"
"You know what, I don't care where you are. You better come over here right now before I come to get you myself!"
She trades a look with Robin, and he shrugs and nods.
"I'll be right over."
Her heart is racing. She's going to tell her, here and now. And she made peace with the world judging her and knowing that she has cheated on her fiancé, but Mary Margaret is a different story.
Regina loves her, and she will hate to see the girl disappointed in her.
Still, she won't hide from this. She will own her sins, all of them.
God, let Mary Margaret forgive her in time, let her find a way to make it up to her.
Robin can sense her mood, she knows it from the way he reaches to squeeze at her leg.
He pulls into Mary and David's driveway, and Mary Margaret is out the door before Regina can even unbuckle her seatbelt.
Shit.
She takes a deep breath and opens the door.
"Mary Margaret, I am so sorry I didn't tell you. It was a last minute decision, it was just a mess, I'm—"
But her friend doesn't look upset. She throws her arms around Regina instead, hugging her tight.
"What happened?" she asks when she breaks the hug. And then she eyes Robin suspiciously, and the color drains from Mary Margaret's face.
Shit.
Shitshitshit.
"Are you two together?"
Regina doesn't even know how to answer that question.
But she can answer another.
"I broke up with Daniel. Because I realized that I'm in love with Robin. And I know—"
"Oh my god!" Mary Margaret slaps a hand over her mouth. "That's so great for you!"
Regina isn't even sure if she's on the same planet. Mary Margaret has been hurt terribly by her father's affairs, she expected she'd see her and just another Leopold Blanchard in disguise. Yet here she is, throwing her arms around Regina as if this is some wonderful celebration instead of a confession of, well, she's at least confessed to an emotional affair.
"You really think this is great?"
"I've been trying so hard to get you to realize it! I mean, Regina, Daniel wasn't for you. He never treated you as well as Robin, we all saw it, even David saw it and he is so oblivious to everything."
"Hey," calls David in a weak, unsure voice.
Regina looks at him, scratching his neck sheepishly a few feet behind his soon-to-be-bride.
"I only object to the part about me being oblivious."
Mary Margaret smiles and continues. "I knew if I told you I didn't see you together you could write me out of your life entirely or try to prove me wrong. You are so stubborn, I know you. So I kept trying to give you a little push in the right direction." And then she swaps Regina hard on the shoulder. "You always reacted the right way but did nothing about it! It was so frustrating."
"All those 'Oh, Daniel is so wonderful' comments were you trying to push Regina in the opposite direction?" Robin asks. He's now out of the car, looking perplexed and remorseful himself.
"I didn't say that Daniel was wonderful. I said specific things that clearly weren't true to get Regina to think about whether she really should be in that relationship. And made specific suggestions that would maybe get her to rethink things."
Regina thinks back to Mary Margaret excitedly telling her Daniel must be worth all this inconvenience, to her bragging about how Daniel employed Robin to supervise the wedding planning, or how Regina should picture being in California with Daniel each and every time she was feeling sad about leaving. The ridiculous wedding plans — Mary Margaret knew her better than that, they were all things designed to make her more uncomfortable, weren't they? And the idea to wed in New Jersey… How she paired them up on Thanksgiving and demanded that Robin take her home. Fuck, Regina needs to give Mary Margaret more credit. She's really quite clever.
"You hated Robin being involved with the wedding planning," Regina murmurs.
"Well, he'd just make the whole thing easier for you even though he was in love with you." Mary Margaret explained. "And I thought that would be hard on him."
"How did you…" Robin asks, then stops. "Was I that obvious?"
"I'm just very perceptive," Mary Margaret grins. "Okay, I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do," she giggles. "Go on, you can get your stuff later."
"I love you," Regina says, tears forming. "Thank you for everything."
"Thank you for staying," Mary Margaret smiles. "and I love you, too."
She grabs her carryon bag anyway, because, well, gets into the car and exchanges a look with Robin before they burst into laughter.
"That couldn't have gone any better," Robin muses.
"I know the rest of the world might hate me for this, but," she smiles and grabs his hand. "I have you, Mary Margaret, and David. That's what's important."
