You Sexy Thing
"I'm here to see Doctor Anders Devin?"
"First elevator to floor 3. At the end of the third corridor, to your left," the receptionist answered.
"Thank you," Leto said politely, and picked up his bag.
"I'm so sorry about your shirt, but you had it coming. You really can't expect me not to snort the drink through my nose after a comment like that!" Lucía hit Anders's shoulder.
"Ah, no problem. Then it's a good thing you weren't having coffee today," Anders giggled. "Listen, are you sure you don't need more money?"
"Absolutely sure. In fact, you don't even need to give me the money now."
"Short debts make long friends, right? Besides, it's not that you guys are super rich now, and you're doing me a huge favour. I really have no time or taste to buy a wedding gift. They'd probably end up with salt and pepper pots in the shape of piggies."
Lucía laughed and opened the door. "See you tomorrow, then?"
"Same time, same place, sweetheart." He closed the door and took off his shirt, stained with soda. He chuckled; she was so silly sometimes. He heard a knock on the door. Maybe she'd forgotten something.
Leto was going by the second corridor when he heard a woman laughing. "See you tomorrow, then?" she said. "Same time, same place, sweetheart." Anders's voice. Leto barely saw the woman going down the stairs. Black hair, slender frame. What was that, he wondered. He got to Anders's office and knocked on the door.
He heard a merry voice from the other side. "Coming for more, eh?" Anders opened the door, bare-chested, and found his cousin Leto standing there.
Leto looked at Anders quizzically, before his cousin opened his arms and hugged him. "Heeeey!" Anders said. "I wasn't expecting you today! When did you get here?"
"I've just got off the train and why are you half naked? And who did you think I was?"
"Woah, you haven't changed a bit." Anders saw him in. "What will you have, coffee, soda…?"
"No wine? You disappoint me," Leto smiled, lying on the couch.
"Ah, no, I wouldn't do that if I were you. We've just been messy there," Anders pointed out. Leto stood up quickly and looked at him. "The woman who's just left…?" he asked.
"Ah, you saw Lucía. You remember her, right? I sent you a photo. The one with-"
"The amenta sister, yes." He frowned. "Why was she here? Did you…?" Fenris gaped at Anders.
"Yeeeeees?" Anders said innocently. He knew where his cousin's mind was going, and he wanted to see him embarrass himself for a change.
"Anders," Leto fixed his eyes on him. "Are you… dating her?"
"What a way to put it! And no, it's not a date. There's no romance involved. It's just work, you know. I help her sister, she helps me with… other things."
Leto couldn't believe his ears. Work? So then she was a… Her face and her voice popped up in his mind again – I'll do anything. "How can you?" Leto said, horrified at the thought of his cousin paying for sex.
Anders smiled mysteriously. Leto was exactly where he thought he would be: in the Wrong Zone. "She's not bad." He said, nonchalantly. "Not the prettiest thing across the land, but she knows her stuff."
"I don't want to hear about this, do I?" Leto groaned.
"Nah. Let's talk about you. I was flabbergasted when I got the email saying that I-heart-Kirkwall Leto would dare come to poor old Tantervale. What brings you here?"
"Isabela's sister is getting married in three days. We'll be spending one week here and then we're going on vacation to the beach."
"Wait, wait. Who's Isabela? Don't tell me she's Bianca's sister! And you're far from the beach."
"Yes, her sister's name is Bianca. How did you know?" Leto saw that Anders wasn't going to answer until he'd answered the first question. He sighed. "Isabela's the girl I'm seeing."
Anders gasped. "You brought a girlfriend here? Well, well – what do you know…"
"I don't know if she's my girlfriend. We've been seeing each other for some months. That's it."
"That's it? Some months, she's bringing you to the wedding to meet the family, you're going on vacation together… I'd say that's more than 'that's it' but what do I know about relationships?"
"Yes, what do you know about that?" Leto glanced at him sideways, a sly smile on his face.
Dear Lucía, I'm Isabela, Bianca's sister. She gave me your email address so that you'd contact the other girls of the dept. for the girls' night out that I'll be organizing. Please remember to pick up a package I've pre-ordered for the party. I'd go pick it up myself, but I have no idea where that place is. It's a shop called "Good girls' fun" and here's the address and phone number…
Lucía picked up the package from the mysterious place on her way to Bianca's. She was really curious about it, although she imagined the contents would be even more surprising for Bianca's moral sense. She struggled to get on the bus with the box, but mostly because of the heels she was wearing. She wasn't used to wearing that kind of thing. Neither was she used to wearing a dress, but Isabela had insisted that all the girls should wear short black dresses. She didn't feel like arguing with someone she didn't know, and had complied. As she was sitting there on the bus, she decided to take a peek at the contents of the box. She used a key to cut the tape holding the lids together, and lifted a corner. She quickly shut it back, covering it with her little handbag nervously.
"Maker…" she murmured, scandalized. She was glad that Bethany had stayed home.
"Bianca, this is Leto; Leto, this is my little sister Bianca," Isabela introduced them.
"Thank you for enduring her," Bianca said sweetly, shaking his hand. He chuckled.
"Now that you two know each other and Bianca's accepted you as my plus one-"
"I actually didn't believe her when she said she was coming with someone," Bianca apologized.
"You can go, Officer Fenris. I have to get dressed and I don't want you to see me naked," Isabela said, fluttering her eyelashes.
Bianca and Leto laughed out loud. Bianca wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and said, "Ah, so funny. That's a good one, 'Bela. I mean, who hasn't-?"
"Shush!" Isabela said, faking anger. "See you tomorrow morning, Leto."
Lucía got to Bianca's apartment block. The tension in her arms was killing her. She was eager to leave the package somewhere. She climbed the stairs – it was just three floors and the elevator had been out of order for months now – and when she was getting to the last floor, she was so absorbed in counting the steps that she bumped into someone coming down. She lost balance and dropped the box, its contents rolling down the last flight of stairs. When she turned to look at them, she twisted her ankle and she would have rolled down as well, had it not been for the man's arms. He held her by the waist and for a moment, the two of them looked at each other in the eye, blinking. "Lucía," he said.
"Leto," she replied. They both frowned and said in unison, "How do you know-? Anders."
He gently pulled her towards him so that she wouldn't fall. The heel of one of her shoes was broken. She sighed heavily when she saw that. She'd have to go back home.
"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "You… dropped your… things." And he bent down to pick them.
"No, don't touch them!" she said, blushing. There was no need. Leto couldn't bring himself to pick up anything, shocked as he was at some of the contraptions. She tried to take a step towards him but her ankle had sprained. She winced.
Leto didn't know what to do. Never in his life had he felt more mortified and sorry for another person. "I can try to pick them up without looking," he smiled weakly and covered his eyes, fishing for the objects.
Lucía te-heed nervously. "Trust me, you don't want to go groping for those things."
It was Leto's turn to blush. Lucía took a deep breath and moved slowly down the stairs, picking up the contents of the box, hoping that nothing was broken, although she was silently cursing the blasted things. Leto watched her, his suspicions confirmed now. Anders was right: she wasn't the prettiest thing ever, but she was something. Her long legs and her soft arms were toned, and her mouth was the most remarkable feature of her face, if one didn't consider the eyes.
"You know, your cousin talks a lot about you. Thanks for sending me to him."
"Er… No problem. I see you've been keeping yourself busy. Anders said you have a job, and that your family's well provided for," Leto said, hoping his words resembled some sort of small talk.
"Yes, I love it here," she replied. "And Anders and Varric helped me find a good position. The pay's good. It's hard work, though. Takes a toll on the body, you know? But it's very rewarding."
"I… guess?" he mumbled. He'd never met anyone so open. "Shall I help you climb the stairs?"
"No, I'm fine," she winked and leaned against the wall. "Thanks for helping me. See you around!"
Leto found himself waving goodbye and watching her go, still in shock.
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Title: Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing" - not a lot to say really. My shuffle option in Winamp chose for me, so I had to make an Anders/Fenris/Lucía chapter with it.
