Italy's shoulder was healing well in the month following the incident. Though the redhead's muscles were still sore and healing, the flesh had scarred over quickly enough and, much to Germany's relief, had resisted infection.
Germany looked up from his desk, eyes automatically glancing over to the couch, where he could just see the fringe of Italy's red hair and the curve of his back as the redhead lay huddled under a blanket, letting out hacking coughs every now and again. Italy had woken up with a fever that morning, and since Germany couldn't stay home with him because of work, the solution was to simply take the redhead to work with him. So now Italy was resting rather fitfully on the surprisingly comfortable couch that Germany kept in his office in case he needed to work late and just decided to spend the night at the office.
"Oi, Italien." Germany said the words softly, just in case the redhead had managed to doze off. But a second later, Italy poked his head out from under the covers.
"Sì?" Italy responded in a voice that sounded rough and scratchy from coughing his throat raw. Germany beckoned with one finger, and Italy scrambled off the couch, keeping the blanket wrapped around his body as he padded over and wrapped his arms around Germany.
Germany felt a small thrill of shock when Italy's fingers touched his bare skin. It felt as though the redhead had been soaking his hands in buckets in ice water, a startling contrast to the fever warm skin of the rest of his body.
"Your hands are so cold." The German observed out loud, and he felt the breath from Italy's sigh against the back of his neck.
"I know, Luddy." Italy tried to give one of his trademark wide, happy smiles, but it just looked tired.
With a gentle tug, Germany pulled the Italian into his lap and took his hands in his own, cupping them and blowing warm air on them like he did when Italy got cold outside, but now Italy resisted, pulling his hands back to himself.
"Won't help." Italy mumbled, yawning and resting his head on Germany's chest, shivering despite the blanket wrapped around him.
"How bad do you feel?" Germany asked. "I can still take you to the doctor if you feel too bad. We can see if we can get you some medicine for your fever."
"No doctor." Italy whispered, his eyes flickering closed.
Germany looked at him. Normally he would have yelled at the Italian for falling asleep on him when he obviously had some important work he needed to be doing, but Italy's face was so pale, save for the pink fever flush adorning his cheeks and the bruise like shadows under his eyes from the lack of sleep. This sight, coupled with the rusty stains under his nose and brighter red on his lips made him look pitiful even to Germany's tough exterior. So Germany was content to let Italy sleep on him, just so long as the redhead was getting the rest he so desperately needed.
Besides, he can do his work one handed.
.~*~.
After a few miserable days, Italy's fever broke, and the redhead was recovering as well as he could. He had met Germany excitedly by the door when the blond had returned home from work, so excited to see him that Germany was convinced that if Italy was a dog, then his tail would have been wagging as fast as Aster's. Now, the two were sitting on the couch together, a fire in the fireplace to combat the frigid air outside. Germany made no protest as Italy threaded his fingers through his, only frowning slightly.
"Why are you so cold?" Germany asked, turning his frown on Italy, though the Italian's wide smile showed that he was not fooled. Germany was not angry with him.
Now that the redhead's skin was not burning from a fever, Germany could feel that all of Italy's skin seemed to be rather chilled, though his hands definitely seemed to be the coldest. It was almost frightening in a way, though Germany would never admit it to his Italy. The redhead's skin was starting to almost remind Germany of a corpse, yet the Italian himself tried to stay as lively as ever.
"Ve~ I just… am." The Italian shrugged as he spoke the words, his smile never faltering in the slightest, not even as Germany let out a thoughtful humming sound. "My skin has been cold for awhile now." Italy said in ways of an explanation.
"Oh." Germany said, turning his gaze to where his three dogs rested as close to the fire as they could get without singing their fur.
"Hasn't Germany noticed?" Italy asked, turning his honey eyes on Germany.
"Honestly, no. I hadn't noticed before a few days ago when you were ill." Germany said, frown deepening only slightly, keeping his blue eyes locked on the gentle rise and fall of breath from Blackie.
"Well… I suppose I have been a bit distant." Italy said softly.
"Yes, you have been." Germany did not say it accusingly, but with a hint of sadness, remembering the years leading up to Italy telling Germany about his illness, when the redhead would sleep on the far side of the bed, trying to keep distant and still keep up his façade. Germany let out a quiet sigh.
"I'm sorry." Italy said.
"It's alright." Germany said automatically.
"Ve~ no it's not." Italy tried to make his voice serious like Germany's but it was all lost as that verbal tic slipped out.
"It is okay, Italien, I understand." Germany said, turning his bright blue eyes on his little redhead lover. "You were scared, I get that."
"Ve." Italy pouted slightly, lower lip poking out slightly, and Germany rolled his eyes.
"Get over it, Italien, there isn't anything you can do about it now."
Italy's eyes brightened slightly, his face losing its little pouting look. "Ve~ Doitsu is right!" he said cheerfully, bouncing slightly on the couch until Germany stilled him with a strong arm around the Italian's waist.
"Sit still." Germany said, sighing, and Italy obeyed.
"If you don't like how cold I am, let me know, and I'll move." Italy said the words even as his pathological need for physical contact and cuddling made him press closer to Germany's warm body.
"Never." Germany promised, pulling Italy closer to him as the redhead smiled sweetly. Italy coughed as he rested against Germany, making the blond sigh again, and then Italy blinked his wide honey eyes at Germany.
"I have a question for you, Luddy." Italy said, shifting slightly so he did not have to crane his neck so badly as he looked up into Germany's face.
"Ask away." Germany said, while his brain screamed. Please don't ask for pasta again!
"Can we… before I…" Italy broke off, confusion swimming in his honey eyes as he tried to speak before his thoughts were in order. "Sorry… That… Give me a second."
"Take your time." Germany said, a note of amusement creeping into his voice as Italy struggled to get his thoughts in order.
A solid minute passed in perfect silence, something that Germany was certain had not happened for a long time around Italy. Then the Italian spoke. "Okay." He said.
"Okay." Germany said in response.
"Before I… Before I die… I want us to… be able to get married." The redhead flushed slightly, and Germany was faintly amazed. Years of sleeping naked, showering with Germany, and one novel experience when Italy went drinking with England and both had ended up…. Well anyway, it took marriage to make the redhead blush?!
Germany realized that Italy was peeking up at him, those honey orbs wide, and his cheeks still faintly pink as he waited for Germany to answer him.
"I think we can do that." Germany said with a small smile, rubbing Italy's back comfortingly.
"Ve! Are you sure?!" Italy looked more excited then ever, and Germany stifled a sigh. Like he was going to let his Italy die before they got married.
"Of course I'm sure." He said, catching Italy's chin with his finger and lifting it, ducking his head down so their lips met in a brief, chaste kiss. But when they separated, Germany could see a look of sadness and regret on Italy's face.
"I don't think either of our countries would allow it." He said quietly.
Germany felt like smacking himself. Of course not! What would their bosses think if two nation avatars decided to get married? It wasn't like this was a marriage as an alliance, though those had happened in the past. Germany knew that Austria had been married to Hungary and Spain in the past by the wishes of their bosses, and that Poland and Lithuania had been united through marriage once. But this marriage was different, between two nations who wanted to marry each other for love, not gain or benefits, although Germany was fairly certain that Austria and Hungary had been thrilled to be married. But that was a lucky case. There was no way that he and Italy could get married, both because of the nations that they each bore on their shoulders, and because two men being together in any sense other then friendship was almost unheard of, and the rare cases that did come up were horribly abused by society.
"Don't worry." Germany said, his hand stroking Italy's red locks without any conscious thought. "We'll think of something."
.~*~.
"Doitsu? A-Are you asleep yet?" Italy's thin, trembling voice roused Germany out of sleep, and the blond half sat up, propped up on his elbows, sleep weighted eyes focusing on the Italian standing in his doorway, clad in a long sleeved pale nightdress, and his hands were clenched in the fabric in small fists.
"Not anymore." Germany mumbled, squinting slightly. "What do you need, Italien?"
"I had a bad dream…" Italy whimpered, scurrying up to the bed and scooting under the covers, where he found Germany's warm arms waiting for him.
"Hush, Italien." Germany said, drawing the Italian to his chest and kissing the redhead softly. "What did you dream about?"
Italy buried his face into Germany's chest, whimpering slightly, and hot tears falling onto Germany's skin. "I dreamt I was at a f-funeral…"
Germany opened his mouth to speak words of comfort, but Italy cut him off before he could even get one syllable out, and said, "It was my funeral…"
Oh. Well that changed things. Germany felt the sleepiness leave his body instantly, and he sat up, climbing out of bed and pulling on his pants and a tank top. Italy scrambled out of bed after him, the hem of his dressing gown swishing around his ankles, following Germany downstairs.
"Ve~ What are you doing, Germany?" Italy asked, looking like a child in the long white nightdress.
"Sit." Germany said, pointing to the kitchen table and watching as Italy obeyed his order without a word. Once Italy was seated and quiet, Germany turned to the stove, turning on the burner and pouring milk into a saucepan, putting the saucepan over the burner.
It didn't take long before Germany was handing Italy a mug full of warm milk and sitting across the table from him with his own mug, sighing quietly. It was late, he had to be up early in the morning for work, and yet he felt a strange tingle in his stomach that only Italy could make him feel. It took him a moment to think of its name.
That's right. Sharing mugs of steamed milk at three in the morning with the man he loved, to comfort the smaller man after a dream that Germany himself had had before, only a few hours before Germany had to be up and ready for work, yet he did not feel compelled to go back to bed just yet. This feeling in the pit of his stomach…
It was happiness.
.~*~.
It was a lazy weekend morning in bed, a few weeks after Italy's nightmare. The Italian still hadn't been sleeping well, beginning to suffer more nightmares that could wake him in tears in the middle of the night.
With a sleepy sigh, Germany pulled Italy close to him, but a moment later his eyes shot open as Italy flinched in his arms. "Did I hurt you?" he asked incredulously.
"N-No?" Italy said, the word almost a question.
"You don't sound too sure." Germany said dubiously, his brows drawing together in a frown. Italy didn't respond, so Germany said, "Feliciano, if I'm hurting you, you have to tell me."
"It's okay, I'm just sore." Italy said, trying to give Germany a cheerful smile.
"No, it's not." Germany said, his tone firm, propping himself up on one elbow.
"Ve~ It's fine." Italy said, blinking up at Germany with wide eyes, clad in long sleeved flannel pajamas and smiling unconvincingly, but Germany only narrowed his eyes at the little redhead.
With a sigh, Germany lay back down, the room was too cold, but continued to glare at Italy, seeing the redhead shrink beneath his gaze. "Why are you in pain?" Germany asked, trying to make his voice gentle, but it was hard. When Germany was concerned or worried, he usually seemed angry simply because he had no idea how to express the emotions. He was trying to fix it, though.
Italy didn't answer, simply hiding his face in Germany's chest. This irritated Germany a bit. He was so tired of Italy hiding things from him, especially when they were related to something so important.
"Please answer me, Italien. Did something happen?" Germany asked, trying to coax the answer out of the Italian.
"Nothing happened." Italy said in a surprisingly meek voice, still hiding his face.
"Don't lie to me." Germany warned.
When Italy spoke again, his voice was muffled slightly by the covers he was hiding under. "Nothing happened." The redhead insisted. "It's a new symptom." Italy murmured this, so quiet Germany barely heard it.
"Symptom?" Germany asked, confused. "Symptom to what?"
"My illness…" this sentence was spoken even quieter then the last one and Germany mentally slapped himself.
"Oh." Germany said, feeling dumb.
"I'm sorry." Italy whispered, the smile he had still been trying to hold in place finally fading away, to be replaced with a look of sadness that no human or nation should ever have to wear.
"It's alright, Vene. I'll just have to be gentle from now on." Germany said, brushing a gentle hand over Italy's cheek.
"You shouldn't have to." Italy murmured.
"Yes I do, obviously." Germany said.
"No, I mean that you shouldn't have to." Italy said, and Germany finally thought he understood.
"Italy, what are you trying to say?" Germany said, his voice dropping past a warning and into the true danger zone. Italy did not seem to realize this, or did not want to acknowledge it. Either way, his voice remained steady.
"Doitsu, I'm going to die. You shouldn't want to be with someone who is dying." Italy said earnestly, trying to make Germany understand.
"I don't care if you're dying, Italien." Germany said, his voice low and honest. "I don't care if you're going to die, because I'm never going to leave you. That's what I promised you when I gave you this ring, right? Per sempre e sempre, right?"
Italy smiled a true smile that broke across his face like rays of sunshine. "Per sempre e sempre." He repeated, stretching to kiss Germany softly. "Grazie, Luddy."
…
…
…
Per sempre e sempre= Forever and ever, or forever and always. (Italian)
