Trying to sleep
A/N : Just a Kleenex warning here—this chapter is pretty sad. It also goes more into how everyone is affected by the current circumstances and how they support one another—I always loved how Gibbs' team is a family (albeit a dysfunctional one!) Hope you guys enjoy!
MTAC grew silent as Nikita entered with Gibbs' team. Abby and McGee were there too; they didn't know her that well, but they wanted to offer any support they could. None of them really heard the words spoken for the fallen Marine as they stared at the scene before them. Nikita gave no reaction at all until the guns were fired. With each shot, her slim body jerked as if she felt each bullet herself. It took every ounce of discipline she had to not run from the room. For the first time she realized her other half was gone forever. It just hadn't seemed real until now.
"I'll see that you get the flag, Miss Stewart." Vance spoke softly.
"Thank you, sir," Nikita whispered. "Could I ask one favor?"
"Of course."
"Is there any way I could get a copy of my brother's service record?" Nikita didn't look up, but no one was surprised by her request.
"Consider it done," Vance said. "I'm very sorry for your loss."
"Me too." Nikita fought back the tears that were threatening. She really didn't want to lose it here. "Thank you."
Abby gave her a tearful hug and said, "You've got my number. If you need anything, you call me, okay?"
"I will." Nikita hugged Abby hard. She could tell the forensic scientist felt her friends' pain as keenly as if it were her own. "Come by later?"
Abby nodded and fled MTAC. McGee followed after a moment. Then the dark-haired girl sank into the nearest sear, visibly trembling from the effort of keeping her emotions in check. Ziva sat beside her and spoke softly in Hebrew, offering what little solace she could. Vance quietly excused himself, leaving Gibbs and Tony standing a short distance away.
"We should get them back to the house." Gibbs spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the two.
"Boss, I don't know how to handle this," Tony admitted. "I'm worried about Ziva. She's really hurting bad."
"I know, Tony," Gibbs answered. "Just be with her. She's gonna need a friend, and most likely you're the only one she'll let in right now."
"I just hope I can help. It kills me knowing that..." Tony broke off as Ziva helped Nikita up and led her toward them.
"We should go," Ziva said in a voice barely above a whisper. Silently the four of them left MTAC and headed for the elevator.
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Two hours after their return to the house, Nikita still hadn't spoken a word. She had accepted a large glass of bourbon from Gibbs, but had yet to drink it. She just sat starting mutely out the window, unable to process the day's events. Ziva watched her with growing concern and finally drew Gibbs aside.
"What are we going to do?" she asked. "We cannot help her if she doesn't speak to us!"
"I called Ducky," was his response. "Right now the best thing would be for her to pass out and sleep—at least she'd be away from this for a little while."
"I know how she feels, Gibbs," Ziva blinked hard, but a few tears escaped down her cheeks. "I wish I did not."
"Hey." Gibbs reached out to her for the second time that day. "Just remember you're not all alone here. Me and DiNozzo—we've got your six, Ziver."
She managed a small smile at Gibbs' pet name for her and she hugged him tightly, thankful he was there. Gibbs had often treated her like a daughter and was more of a father to her than her own had ever been. As he held her closer, she asked, "Do you think you could talk to her?"
"I can try." Gibbs stepped back to look into her eyes, seeing the toll her own pain was taking. "In the meantime I want you and DiNozzo to get some rest. It's going to be a long night."
"Maybe later," Ziva whispered.
"It wasn't a suggestion," Gibbs told her firmly. "You look like hell."
"Thanks a lot," she answered dryly.
"Tony's worried about you," Gibbs continued. "He can see that you're hurting and he wants to help. If you'd let your guard down for a minute he could really help you through this."
"I know that, Gibbs," Ziva sighed. Then she looked up with a small smile. "What about your Rule 12?"
"What about it?"
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"DiNozzo."
Tony looked up at Gibbs, wondering what the hell he'd done now. When Ziva had come back into the living room, she sat next to him and snuggled into his side. She hadn't moved or spoken and quickly fell into a light sleep.
"Yeah, Boss." Tony kept his voice low, not wanting to wake his sleeping partner.
"Put her to bed," Gibbs said in the same tone. "Stay with her and make sure she gets some rest."
"Are you sure that's okay? You know, Rule 12?" Tony winced as Gibbs smacked him lightly.
"Don't be a smartass, DiNozzo." Gibbs fixed him with the famous stare. "Ziva can't take on this case alone, no matter how hard she tries. It's too close to home for her to view this objectively. She needs you to have her back."
"Always," Tony answered without hesitation. "Boss, I'd do anything to take away all that pain she's going through. It's breaking her heart and there's nothing I can do."
"You love her, don't you?" Gibbs interrupted quietly. Tony stared at him in surprise. "Just take care of her. She needs you."
Tony gently lifted Ziva in his arms, hoping he wouldn't wake her. She briefly opened her eyes as he laid on the bed, but fell back to sleep almost immediately. Tony looked up and saw Gibbs standing in the doorway. "Thanks, Boss."
"Try to sleep, Tony." Gibbs smiled a little as Tony settled beside Ziva, wrapping her in a protective embrace. Silently he closed the bedroom door to allow them some quiet and privacy, then took a deep breath before turning his attention to the broken soul in the next room.
"Hey, kid." Gibbs sat quietly beside her on the small sofa. "That stuff would do a lot more good if you actually drank it."
"I keep thinking this is some nightmare," Nikita whispered, staring at the liquor glass. "Is this real, Gibbs? 'Cause if it's not I must have gone off the deep end."
"It's real enough." Gibbs picked up the glass and handed it to her as the doorbell rang. "Drink up, kid. It'll help."
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Gibbs was relieved to see Ducky with Abby and McGee. He knew too well how Nikita felt right now, but he was truly at a loss how to help.
"How is she, Jethro?" Ducky asked as Abby went to hug her friend, McGee following.
"Not very talkative, Duck," Gibbs answered. He shook his head sadly. "I know how it feels to lose a family, but not the way she has. It's not the same."
"Jethro, from what you and Abby have told me—and from what I personally have observed—Nikita has only had her brother for support since their parents died," Ducky answered. "Losing him in any circumstance would be difficult enough, but he was also her twin. It is no surprise that she is devastated. I have read cases of twins being aware of one another's pain even when they were on opposite sides of the world."
"What can we do, Duck?" Gibbs asked. "She's about to go up against one of the deadliest killers alive and she's out for blood. And obviously he's trying to kill her too."
"So are we aiding or protecting her?" Ducky asked softly. His heart nearly broke at the thought of the young woman either falling prey to a killer or becoming that killer herself. "Poor dear. She is going to need a good friend to talk to. She seemed to bond with Ziva..."
"Yes, she has," Gibbs agreed quickly. "But this is a very painful case for her too—remember she lost a brother too. Right now Tony's taking care of her."
"In that case," Ducky said, "I should have a talk with our young friend. She should know that we are there for her."
As Ducky went to talk to Nikita, Abby hugged her one more time before letting him take her place and moving to Gibbs' side. "Gibbs, is she gonna be okay?"
"C'mere, Abs." Gibbs hugged her tight. "We're gonna make sure she's all right. I promise."
"Where are Tony and Ziva?" Abby asked in a small voice. "I thought Ziva would still be here—you know, it's funny, they look so much alike, they could be related..."
"Hello, Abby," Ziva interrupted softly. She looked on the verge of total collapse now—dark circles under her eyes emphasized how pale she was and her clothes were rumpled from the pitiful amount of restless sleep she'd gotten. Abby let go of Gibbs and hugged her tightly. To her surprise, Ziva accepted and returned the hug.
"I thought I told you and DiNozzo to get some rest, Officer David," Gibbs said sternly.
"I couldn't sleep," Ziva answered. "Tony is sleeping and I didn't want to wake him."
"Too late, Sweet Cheeks." Tony's voice came from behind them. He slipped an arm around her as he added, "When you got up, I was awake."
Ziva nodded, but didn't reply as she leaned against Tony. Truthfully she was exhausted but she was afraid to sleep. The day had brought back too many bad memories and there would be no peace for her tonight.
"Both of you come sit down before you fall over," Abby ordered, practically dragging Tony and Ziva into the living room. Nikita looked up as they came in, her eyes glazed over. Apparently Ducky had convinced her to finish off the glass of bourbon, and from the look in her eyes it hadn't done nearly enough. Behind a thin alcoholic haze her eyes gave away the hell she was going through.
"Guess it's for real, huh?" she said dully. Ducky pulled her into a compassionate hug.
"I wish it were not, my dear," he said gently. "But we're here for you. All of us."
Okay, I'm not a hundred percent happy with this chapter, but I think I managed to gauge character reactions to this situation. And I hope I managed to write Ducky in character—he's really tough to write!
CaliBrat
