Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation nor do I own Pop Japan TV (Yes it's an actual show, I use to watch it every night!)
Chapter 9: Lost Melody
This could not be happening; he was just with him yesterday. Ryuichi wept loudly as his forehead rested on his knees. He sat balled up in a corner in Takashi's bedroom as he stared at the bed. That was the last place they were together, the last place he would see, hear and touch him. His heart wanted to break; the only gentleness that he had ever known in his life had been from Takashi.
He wanted to go back to the hospital and see him again, but all that was left was the shell of the man that he loved.
He wanted to be comforted but if he left this place he may not be able to come back. Or if he left then Takashi's family would come and take his things. Takashi would be back, most likely he was just making Ryuichi feel bad for not being around him those three weeks.
His fist balled up in anger as he punched the floor. Tohma had taken his remaining time away from him. If only…
He screamed out in misery, he knew that he was mostly to blame. If he hadn't been so focused on Tohma…It wasn't like he was held prisoner, he was sure he could have left like he had before. But he was too absorbed in the blond to really leave and go and see his friend.
"What am I going to do?" he asked himself out loud. Tears were streaming down his cheeks uncontrollably, stopping them wasn't an option.
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Tohma shook his head in disbelief, Takashi was…
"When, How? Where's Ryuichi? Did you check every possible place he could have gone to?" Tohma asked as he began to panic. Ryuichi was alone, and god knows what he could be thinking right now or…
"Did you check Takashi's house?" Tohma asked.
The older man nodded his head, "we went there but it was no way of us to get inside. If he were inside he didn't answer."
After hearing this Tohma grabbed his coat and ran out of the studio. Takashi's house was the only place Ryuichi would be at. Last night when he had told Tohma of his leaving that was where he was headed. He could imagine Ryuichi sitting in the apartment alone. Having had made the decision to be with his former lover, he couldn't imagine the anguish he was feeling, how much he was resenting Tohma at this moment. Regardless if Ryuichi could display nothing but anger for him at the moment, Tohma had to be there for him no matter what.
He arrived at the apartment no later than twenty minutes after hearing the news of Takashi's death and to his disappointment; the door was still shut and locked. He banged on the door and called out to Ryuichi hoping that he would hear him. He knew he had to be in there and he was hoping that he would open up the door.
"Excuse me sir…" a voice said from behind him. Tohma turned around to find him self staring at an older woman. Her eyes were red, from the possibility of crying, she stared up at him with concern.
"Were you a friend of Takashi's?" she asked as her eyes began to water up at the mention of his name.
Tohma wanted to say no, but he couldn't lie either, "I know him, but I'm a close friend of Ryuichi."
The woman looked confused for a second, "Ryuichi?…oh…you mean Aoi."
"Aoi…yea," Tohma answered awkwardly. It was hard to believe that people still called him that. Was it something that Ryuichi approved of? If so why would he like being called that after so much suffering?
The woman excused herself and unlocked the door, Tohma watched her as he followed her inside the apartment.
"That poor boy has been through so much and now this, what will he do without Takashi?" the woman asked out loud as she sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands.
Tohma felt bad for the woman, but he could only imagine how Ryuichi was feeling right now. He made his way to the back room and to his relief the lead singer was asleep, balled up in the corner. The blond walked slowly over to him not expecting a happy greeting, but he didn't care. He kneeled down beside him and noticed how wet the front of his shirt was.
"Ryuichi," he whispered as he gently moved his hair out of his face. Tohma watched his sleeping face as sadness overcame him. When Ryuichi woke up and realized his presence, he was positive the singer would be angry.
The brunette opened his eyes slowly as Tohma noticed the look that illuminated from his eyes. It was the same look he had received from his father countless times. A look that drove him away from home and caused him to not want to get close to anyone, the look of pure repulsion. Tohma wanted to back away but he wasn't going to without a fight.
"Ryuichi, come on…let's go back to my place."
The singer yanked away from the blond as he glared at him, "don't touch me." He whispered weakly.
Tohma felt his heart breaking but he told himself to keep it together. Ryuichi was angry now but he was sure he would get over it.
"Ryuichi…I'm…"
"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled as he stared at Tohma menacingly. "You're the reason why I didn't get to spend the last weeks of Takashi's life with him. You told him to stay away, I hate you!"
Hate.
Get away from me you disgust me! Every thing about you makes my stomach churn. If I wouldn't look bad in the media's eye I would dump you and that slut of a mother of yours out on the curb.
Tohma stood up as he backed away from Ryuichi. He couldn't deal with this right now.
"What's going on?!" the woman who had let Tohma in before asked from behind him.
"Ami chan get him away from me," Ryuichi pleaded as he broke out in tears.
The woman who Tohma now knew as Ami looked at him suspiciously, "What did you do to him?"
Tohma wanted to defend himself, but he didn't have it in him at this moment in time. He needed to get away and have time to himself. So he left just as Ryuichi wanted.
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Tohma sat down at the table at Okuda's restaurant along with his mother and father. The time had come for him to meet Mika and Mr. Uesugi under the agreement of their arrangement. Tohma smoothed out his tan blazer as he looked at his reflection on the wall mirror. A week had past since he'd heard anything from or about Ryuichi. He had been doing many things to keep himself busy from bothering to find out. All he knew was that the band was going to stay together and that he would be ready to come back to work in a week.
Am I really ready for that? He wondered to himself as he continued to stare at his reflection. All that he could see was the shell of a person he couldn't recognize. Mentally he was worn out, but physically he looked fine. He continued to stare at himself when he suddenly noticed his father glaring his way.
"You better not embarrass me."
"Yes father," Tohma answered politely.
"I'm sorry we're a bit late," a voice apologized from behind them.
Tohma, his father and mother stood up politely as they bowed and shook hands with Mr. Uesugi. Tohma's eyes then wondered over to Mika as he observed her. She had on a long peach dress with spaghetti straps, a pair of diamond earrings that were only made visible because of her hair being up in a bun.
"Mika-san, you're as lovely as ever," Tohma said as he took a hold of her hand and kissed it.
"Thank you Tohma," she answered as she blushed.
"Looks like our kids were made for each other, right Seguchi?"
Tohma could hear his father chuckle as he motioned for him to sit down as the blond pulled out the chair next to him for Mika.
The dinner went on as the father's chatted about future business plans while Tohma, Mika and his mother ate and listened. The blond knew the dinner was to make the engagement official but he wanted it to be more than that in order to make things work.
"Will you please excuse me gentlemen," Tohma said as he stood up. He asked Mika if she would have a word alone with him and left everyone else at the table. He led her outside in front of the restaurant where they were now all alone.
They were met with a slight breeze, so Tohma took off his tan blazer and draped it around her shoulders. He had on a white long sleeved dress shirt underneath so he figured he would be fine.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her calmly. He placed his hands in his pocket as he leaned against the building.
Mika leaned back as well as she let out a sigh, "I'm okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well you're being forced to marry someone you're not in love with."
Mika let out a soft sigh as she nudged him, "I may not be in love but I do like you a lot."
"Like huh…" Tohma trailed off. Like is good, it's better than love.
"Is that a problem?"
"No it's fine actually," Tohma answered coolly.
The two stood in silence for a moment before Tohma finally decided to finally do what he originally brought her outside to do. He pulled out the ring box and opened it up displaying the diamond ring. He bent down on one knee and he couldn't help but to notice other people watching him as they walked by.
"Mika-chan, I know that this is all arranged, but I really want this to work out between us so I wanted to do this properly."
The girl stared down at him surprised by the action, but it was quickly replaced by a look of happiness.
"Will you do the honor of allowing me to make an honest woman out of you?" He asked with a grin.
Mika laughed, "That's a strange way of asking but of course the answer's yes."
Tohma laughed as he slipped the ring onto her finger and hugged her gently, "I promise I'm going to try and make this work."
"You better," she responded with a giggle.
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"So do you guys have any idea what the next single off of your album will be?" the interviewer asked as she looked at them hopefully.
"Well it depends on how well this single does," Tohma answered honestly.
The interviewer nodded as she looked at Ryuichi excitedly, "I heard the song and I'm really excited about covering Nittle Grasper as a hot new up and coming band, where do you get your inspiration from?"
Ryuichi looked at the girl as he contemplated the answer. It was hard to tell if he was pretending to think because he had on sunglasses which made it hard to see his eyes, "I guess my inspiration comes from the different people in my life. I do sometimes think about if I had a special someone and what I would say to them."
"Really?! So does this mean that you have no girlfriend?"
"No I'm free as a bird," he replied cheerfully.
"That's going to get you a lot of fans quick."
Ryuichi chuckled at the statement.
"What about you two, have anyone special?"
"Not at all," Tohma answered.
"Ditto," replied Noriko.
"I find that hard to believe," the interviewer joked. "So how are things between you guys, are you close? Or are you the type of band that just meets up and do your thing and go your separate ways?"
Tohma and Ryuichi stayed silent, but Noriko spoke up before the interviewer could suspect any tension, "We're all very close."
"Really?! So would it be fine if we did a documentary on you guys up until the release of your self titled album? It'll be a great way to gain exposure to more fans. The documentary would air on the Pop Japan TV show."
"That would be great!" Noriko answered.
The interviewer stood up as she excused herself to retrieve the contracts so that they could look over them and bring them back later. Tohma sat beside Noriko in silence.
"So how did everything go with Mika-san?" Noriko asked Tohma calmly.
"I proposed to her properly and promised her that I would try to make our marriage like a real one."
"Awww Tohma you softie."
"Okay guys here are your contracts," the interviewer said as she walked back into the room. She handed one to each of them a packet as she smiled down at them. "Pop Japan producers will like you to return the sign contracts within a week. Feel free to make copies for your personal records as well."
"Thank you so much," Noriko said as she stood up and shook the woman's hand.
"No thank you guys, I haven't been this excited about new artists in a long time."
Everyone said their good-byes and left the studio. When they got outside they all hopped into Noriko's car, Ryuichi sitting in the back and Tohma in the front.
"Oh yea," Ryuichi said remembering suddenly. "Here are the lyrics for the new song," he said handing the lyrics to Noriko.
Noriko sighed heavily but took the lyrics and handed them to Tohma.
"Oh my goodness I almost forgot!" Noriko said suddenly as she looked down in her purse. "You guys give me five minutes I forgot my cell phone," she responded as she exited the car.
The two guys sat in uncomfortable silence as they waited for Noriko. Tohma wanted to say something but he wasn't sure if he would get a response back or not so he decided not to. Lucky for him his phone began to ring.
"Hello."
"Tohma! I'm happy I could reach you."
"Mika-san is something wrong?"
"Is there anything wrong with a girl wanting to talk to her fiancée? She asked flirtatiously.
Tohma chuckled, "no there isn't."
"Good."
"So is there anything new going on?" Tohma asked trying to make conversation.
"No, but I was wondering if I could spend the week with you."
Tohma contemplated on the answer. It wouldn't be so bad if he let her come up since he was growing a bit tired of living in solitude. He was about to give her his answer but then Ryuichi snatched the phone out of his hand and threw it on the car ground.
"Ryuichi what in the…"
"Tohma…no don't…I mean…I…" he stuttered.
Tohma turned around and glanced at the man behind him. Ryuichi had on his sunglasses so he wasn't quite sure how to react to his actions but he knew that him speaking was a good thing. The blond got out of the car and slipped into the backseat. He shut the door behind him as he reached over and took off Ryuichi's glasses slowly.
For the first time in weeks he was able to see his eyes and what he saw now wasn't the same expression he saw before.
"Tohma…I'm sorry."
Tohma smiled as he pulled him into an embrace, "I thought you were going to be disgusted with me for good."
Ryuichi sniffled, "Can I come back…to your place?"
Tohma contemplated his answer considering Mika had just asked the same question to him a few seconds before. If he told her no he would have to have a good excuse to why she wouldn't be able to come up to Tokyo.
But regardless he wanted to tell her she couldn't come. He wanted to make his marriage to her work but at the same time he needed Ryuichi by his side. Being apart from him had been harder than he thought it would and it wasn't because of their physical attraction to each other. Ryuichi was almost like his best friend in several ways.
"You can come over but under one condition."
"One condition?"
"Please believe that if I knew something such as that was going to happen I wouldn't have done what I did."
Ryuichi leaned his cheek on Tohma's as the pain in his heart threaten to take over his logic. He knew Tohma wouldn't have did that if he knew the outcome and that's why he had debated over the pass week on whether he would speak to him today or not. Regardless of the anger he felt for the blond, he did still harbor feelings for him.
"That wasn't a good thing, but I know that you did it only because you wanted me around. You didn't want to share me with anyone and I can understand that so that's why what happened then is in the past. It's not like you…did that to Taka…shi."
Tohma smiled as he loosened his embrace and pulled back slightly.
"Tohma?"
"Yea?"
"I miss your kisses."
Tohma laughed as he leaned in and planted a kiss on Ryuichi's lips.
"Jeez I thought if I left you alone you two would at least talk. But you exceeded my expectations," Noriko interrupted as she got into the car. "You two are lucky my windows are tinted unless the press would have had some nice shots of you two."
"Sorry," Ryuichi chirped.
"No problem."
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Ryuichi moved his things in by that evening. Tohma had him place his things in his guest room just in case Mika decided to come around. He looked at his cell phone as he expected a call back from Mika. Earlier when he and Ryuichi had made up, he forgot about his cell phone that had been lying on the car floor. Thankfully it was hung up and she didn't hear anything that had occurred, but then he couldn't be certain.
He had been careless and wrapped up in Ryuichi to care if she was still on the phone. Although it was cold hearted, the singer was the person who gave him the most comfort right now.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on his door. Ryuichi ran to the door before Tohma could get there. They both had been waiting for Noriko to come and it was about time she arrived.
He opened the door and to his surprise Noriko wasn't at the door…but Mika was. She stood there as she glared at Ryuichi as she held a bag in her hand. By the look she was giving him, his worst assumption had proven true, she did over hear.
"Mika-san I was waiting for you to call me back," Tohma told her calmly as he walked up to the door.
She continued to glare at Ryuichi and didn't say a word to Tohma.
He felt himself becoming a bit annoyed at her behavior and he could see Ryuichi becoming extremely uncomfortable. He walked over and stood in between the two of them as he stared at Mika calmly.
"Look at me not him," he said to her coolly.
Mika turned her glare to the blond, "I'm here to spend the week with you."
"Mika-san I never told you that it was okay."
"But having your…boy…toy here is okay?!" she asked becoming agitated.
Tohma glared at he grabbed her arm and pulled her inside of his apartment, "that comment wasn't necessary."
"Oh and you cheating on your fiancée with a man is?"
Tohma's azure orbs wondered over to Ryuichi who was standing there silently. He looked confused and hurt, all Tohma wanted to do right now was to hold him until he felt better.
"I'm sorry," Ryuichi whispered.
Mika angrily turned towards him and smacked his him across his face, "how dare you even speak to me."
"MIKA THAT'S ENOUGH," Tohma yelled as he walked up to Ryuichi who stood there as his eyes teared up.
Tohma could only imagine how he was feeling right now. He had just lost Takashi and now he was dealing with this, something had to give. He needed to have some rest and relaxation before he had a nervous breakdown.
"I can't believe you're picking him over me?!"
"I'm not picking anyone, but I won't let you lay another hand on him. Your actions are completely out of hand."
"I can't believe this…" Mika muttered as her eyes began to water.
"I'll…leave," Ryuichi whispered.
"Yes please do," Mika responded nastily.
"Ryuichi you aren't going anywhere," Tohma spoke up as he grabbed his arm.
"Oh but I should leave?" Mika asked insulted.
"I didn't say that."
"Well someone has to! You can't have both of your…lovers here," she said disgusted.
Tohma sighed heavily as he thought about what he should do. There was a guest bedroom, Ryuichi could sleep there.
"He's staying in the guest bedroom; you're going to sleep with me."
He felt Ryuichi stiffen.
"Ryuichi stays with me now and I can't put him out on the street."
Mika nodded as tears began to fall from her eyes. Tohma's anger subsided as he let go of Ryuichi's arm and embraced his fiancée.
"I'm…sorry I just lost it when I heard you two earlier."
"It's understandable," Tohma reasoned.
He couldn't apologize to her because he wasn't sorry for his relationship with Ryuichi. In a sense he found himself feeling that if he were forced to make a choice he wouldn't pick Mika but then again, things in that aspect were fuzzy as well.
"Go and put your things up," he told her gently.
Mika nodded as she walked upstairs to his bedroom.
Tohma then turned around to a confused Ryuichi, "we'll have to deal with her for a week okay?" he whispered gently.
He could feel Ryuichi trembling and he couldn't help but to be concerned. He led him to the living room and placed him against the wall where he could see the stairway. He caressed the singer's cheek gently and then kissed its bruised surface. He used his thumbs to wipe his tears as his lips then kissed his forehead.
"I'm really sorry," he whispered as he rested his forehead against Ryuichi's.
"If she does it again I'll send her back to Kyoto."
"But she has a right to be angry."
"This marriage was arranged, it's not like I proposed because I loved her."
Ryuichi nodded understandably.
Tohma's heart dropped as he looked at his sad expression. He leaned in and kissed his lips as he held back the urge to kiss him more. Giving in a bit to his urge, his lips landed on Ryuichi's once more as he forcefully entered his tongue in the singer's mouth. He hungrily kissed Ryuichi as his hands roamed over his chest.
Ryuichi pushed him back as he looked at him out of breath, "we can't…"
"I know…"
"TOHMA!" Mika yelled from the top of the stairs.
The blond pulled away as he let out a heavy sigh and an apologetic look to Ryuichi. He then made his way upstairs.
Ryuichi pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed dial.
"What's up Ryuichi?"
"Nori-chan," Ryuichi said as his voice began to crack.
"Ryu…what's wrong? Is Tohma being obnoxious again?!"
"No…his fiancée is here…can you come over and keep me company tonight?"
"…I'll be there in ten minutes."
Ryuichi hung up the phone as he exhaled. He could hear the two walking around upstairs and his heart threatened to break into pieces. Life itself didn't look like it was getting any easier any time soon.
He walked over to the couch to sit down when his phone rung again. He picked it up after the second ring.
"Hello."
"Aoi, where have you been?" A gruff voice asked on the other line.
Ryuichi began to tremble at the sound of the voice. How did he get his number?
"Aoi! Speak when you are being spoken to. You haven't changed; you're still disrespectful and obviously stupid."
Ryuichi wanted to hang up but he was fearful of what would happen if he did. "Da-dad…h-how have you been?"
"That doesn't matter boy, I heard that you making it big in the music business."
"We're not big yet, we're just starting out."
"Well your mother and I are having money problems we need $2000 by tomorrow."
Ryuichi inhaled, "but I don't have that type of money."
"Are you lying to me boy?! I thought I taught you that it was a bad thing to lie to me."
"No sir I promise that I'm not…"
"It's about time that you came home. You've been away too long."
"I-I can't…to.."
"ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME AOI!"
"No sir, I would never…"
Before Ryuichi could continue the phone was snatched from his hands. The singer looked up to find Tohma putting the phone to his ear angrily.
"If you call him again or come near Ryuichi again I'll make sure you're dealt with old man," Tohma said icily into the phone before hanging up.
"Tohma…why did you do that?!" Ryuichi asked as he began to panic.
"I won't let him hurt you again," Tohma said as he placed Ryuichi's phone in his pocket and made him self to the door when he heard the bell.
Ryuichi watched Noriko enter the door and walk over to Ryuichi. "We can stay here tonight or we can go to my place."
"What you're staying the night here?" Tohma asked in surprise.
"Yea, Ryuichi wants me to."
"Well going to your place is out of the question, you're staying here."
"Isn't that a bit insensitive?"
"I rather be insensitive than sorry."
"Sorry for what" Noriko asked confused.
Mika suddenly appeared at the steps as she eyed everyone in the living room. Her gaze landed on Ryuichi and didn't leave him. "I think it would be a good idea for him to stay with Ms. Ukai for a few days."
Tohma sighed as he bit his bottom lip, "Don't push it Mika," he said coldly.
Noriko's eyes widen at Tohma's behavior. She had never seen him act like this. Usually he was polite even when he didn't have to be.
"Tohma come with me for a minute," Noriko said as she stood up and grabbed his arm, pulling him outside. She shut the door and then turned around and looked at him. "What's going on with you?"
"I'm going to sever ties with my family," he said flatly.
"Have you put a lot of thought into that decision?"
"Yes, and besides the last thing I need is a fiancée breathing down my back."
Noriko sighed as she pulled him into a hug.
"I don't care about marriage, but I do care about protecting him right now. His father contacted him…Mika's attacking him. She has a right but he's dealing with the death of Takashi right now…he can't handle all of this."
"Well, if you want to go in there and tell her it's over then I'll back you up all the way. I don't know her well and I do care about Ryuichi's well-being."
"Thank you."
"No problem."
Tohma pulled away as he walked into the house and noticed Mika once again staring at hole in Ryuichi.
"Mika-san, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure," she said as she followed Tohma upstairs.
Noriko walked over to the couch only to find him desperately gasping for air. She ran over to him and froze in fear as she noticed how pale his skin was. She picked up her phone and dialed for the paramedics, but to her worst fears he passed out right in her arms.
End of Chapter 9
Author's Notes: Wow honestly this story is turning out more angsty than I originally wanted (I'm not a huge fan of angst). And it seems that I've made Ryuichi the prime target! But I will lighten up the story from now on. I'm going to try and dig the characters out of the hole that I've made for them. And if people noticed they would realize Tohma's nasty past as well hahaha. That just came out as I typed and I was thinking "oh my god I'm so horrible."
Also I'm not happy with making Mika so nasty. I love Tohma and Mika's relationship in the manga and I guess I want to start bringing some of that out.
I hope everyone liked this chapter.
