Clare woke up the next morning with a smile on her face. She got up and blasted some Paramore, loud enough for her to hear from the shower. She then came back to her room and chose her uniform clothes for the day.
She fixed her hair neatly and even slapped on some eye makeup.
Clare was ready to seize the day.
She looked at the time and noticed she still had a few minutes before she had to leave for school. So, she hopped on her laptop and checked her facerange page. One or two notifications that Drew had posted on her wall with pictures and such that made her smile.
She then decided to check her email to see if Darcy had written her. There were no messages from her sister. However, there was one from a BhandariSav123

Clare immediatly clicked into the message once she realized who the sender was.

It read:

Clare,

Hey, it's me Sav! How are you?
Im contacting you because we have been going through Alli's laptop files(for strictly investigation purposes only), and there was a document containing a letter addressed to you.
She obviously never gave it to you due to the conditions undergoing your friendship...
But i've come to learn that the letters never sent are the ones containing words you really wanted to say got the chance to.

Clare could feel herself tearing up.

So click the attachment to see the letter.

-Sav

PS: I know we've never talked much, but you were a big part of my little sister's life, so i hope we can keep in touch. Email me anytime. The results of this tragedy affect us all. Trust me..

PPS: i did not read the letter myself, i swear. I just saw the title of the document said 'Dear Clare'.

Clare was trembling.
Full-on TREMBLING.

She was overwhelmed with excitement, yet terrified if what the letter might have said.

She finally brought herself to click the 'Attachments' button.

And there was the letter from Alli.

Dear Clare,

Im sorry. All i can say is that im so completely, honestly and utterly sorry..
I am the worst best friend ever and i don't deserve you. I can see now why you chose Jake over me. Im a horrible person...

My reasoning for kissing him seemed like such a good allaby then, but now... It seems stupid.

I never did get to tell you the reason though..

So if you care.. Here it is.

I was vulnerable that night, i guess..

Me and Dave had broken up. I had finally found someone good for me and yet again i did something to chase him away. What i did isn't important anymore.

What's important is that my heart broke when you ended our friendship..

You were the one good thing/person in my life that never left my side. But now that you have, i realize that you had a good reason to and that its my own fault. And if i'm just going to chase away all the people i love.. What's the point anymore...?
Because...what's life without love anyways?...

I know your probably never going to read this and i would never want you to read it because i don't want you to feel guilty. I know you'd feel guilty about...what i'm about to do...bcause your just a good person.. always trying to take matters into your own hands to fix them...but this is too much of a big thing for you to fix...
You can't fix my life.
No one can.
So im gonna do it myself...
Maybe on the other side they'll be happiness. And love. And i'll be able to watch over you and protect you.

I love you, Clare. I love you so much.
I hope you and Jake will be happy together and that he'll love you more than i ever could.

Love your biggest disappointment,

Alli B.

Clare couldn't breathe.
This can't be happening, she thought.
I must be dreaming.

She sat there staring at the computer screen, reading it over and over again, expecting her vision to begin blurring little by little and then she'd wake up to the real world.

The sad part was that was not going to happen. This was the real world. And in reality, she had been a major contribution to her best friend's suicide.
She KILLED her best friend.
On the inside anyways.
Alli had just finished herself off on the outside.
Clare sat there, still in shock, not wanting to believe the letter she had just read existed. But she knew it did. And that killed her inside. She wanted to cry. she wanted to scream. She wanted to run. Away from it all but she couldn't.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her bedroom door. She looked blankly at Jake as he entered the room. His face made her sick. The last line about Jake living her more than Alli could kept repeating itself in her mind. Him love me, my ass.

"Quit looking at me like that".
She continued staring.
"what, am i that attractive?", he said with a wink.
"Ugh", she ran out of the room and pushed passed him.

She heard him yell after her, "Don't you want a ride?"

And with that, she ran out of the house. She couldn't be near him right now. She couldn't be around anyone.
Her mind went blank. The only one she could think of right now was Drew.
His face kept appearing in her mind.
She needed him.
He was the only one who could make her feel better when she felt this low. He proved that to her yesterday.
But the weird thing was, she could barely feel anything.
She was numb.
All she knew was that she needed him.

She ran and ran and ran without stopping.
She had nothing. She didn't even bother taking her phone or her bag.
She needed him. She was running to him.
She finally reached the school, her adrenaline still keeping her from feeling out of breath.

She ran through the halls until finally reaching the one containing his locker. She began to slow down and eventually stopped completely in the middle of the hall when she caught eye of him and...her.
Drew and Bianca.
Torres and DeSousa.

Why was he talking to her? His ex-girlfriend!
Clare knew she wasn't Drew's current girlfriend...yet.
But still, anyone could see what she and Drew had was special. And now he was standing there with Bianca and not her!

Clare, finally beginning to feel all the pain that had been numb for the past 20 minutes, now felt a few tears fall from her eyes.

The bell rang through her thoughts. Everyone began heading to their classes. She couldn't go to class, now.
Not like this.

She turned around and began fast walking wothout a destination.

C&D C&D C&D C&D C&D

Bianca said goodbye to Drew as she began walking to her 1st period class. Suddenly she saw Clare Edwards dashing through the hall until she came to the staircase leading to the roof, where she noticed tears on the girl's face.
Bianca suddenly got a bad feeling about why Clare could be going up to the roof by herself, crying.

"Clare!", Bianca called after her. But she didn't bother turning around, and continued running up the roof staircase. The late-bell rang and Bianca turned back toward the direction of Drew's locker, hoping he'd still be there.

He was.
Classic Drew,being late for class, she thought.

"Drew". she called out, while approaching him.

"I just saw your girlfriend running through the halls crying-"

"You mean Clare? Where'd she go?", he asked worriedly.

"I saw her run up to the roof"

"What?", he asked with a confused expression, "why would she..."

They exchanged worried looks before Drew dropped his black messanger bag and ran through the hall toward the stairwell.

D&C D&C D&C D&C D&C

Meanwhile, Clare stood on the roof, tears flooding her face uncontrollably.
Clare reached the ledge of the roof and looked down. She'd been standing here for about two minutes and had already forgotten about the Drew/Bianca situation. Clare realized she had overreacted and now remembered Drew mentioning that his mom had been helping Bianca with legal stuff involving the gang situation.

But her overrection was what brought Clare up here. And she was glad.
Maybe..., she thought. Maybe this...is my escape.

She thought back to the evanesense song about death being peaceful.

And besides, she didn't deserve to live, anyway. She had killed her best friend.

Murderers don't deserve to live, she thought.
That's why there's the death penalty.

Clare took a step closer to the ledge, looking down, and then back up to the sky. More tears forming in her eyes now, she called out to the sky, "Alli!". She listened intently to the echo.

"Youre not my biggest disappointment, I am!", she began sobbing lightly. She then put one foot up to the ledge, about to fully stand on it, hands trembling.

Until, a pair of arms wrapped around her firmly and pulled her down.

She let out a shriek, followed by screaming, "Let me go, let me go!"

He turned her around to show her who he was, and when she saw it was Drew, she continued to scream and fight him off of her. But he wouldn't let her go, fearing she'd make her way back over to the ledge.

She continued trying to break free, yelling through her sobs. But he held onto her for dear life, almost embracing her. And that was what brought her back to reality. She finally broke down in tears and surrendered to his arms. And then she was the one holding onto HIM for dear life. He continued his grasp around her, practically dragging her through the door and back into the stairwell, trying to distance her as far as possible from the ledge.

She sobbed loudly into his chest, allowing him to drag her back down into the school.

Once they were halfway down the stairs, she completely stopped moving .

She no longer allowed him to walk her, she just fell to her knees in the middle of the stairwell. Still holding onto him, she brought him down with her. She weeped loudly and uncontrollably into his chest.

Drew, however, was in shock, still trying to figure out what had just happened. As realization dawned on him, he pulled her into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her so tightly, she could bary breathe. But she didn't care. She just needed him.

Drew suddenly felt tears start to escape his eyes also. He tightened his arms around her even more. He couldn't believe he almost just lost her!

He began thinking back to every conversation, every moment, every touch, every glance, every hug, every laugh, EVERYTHING. He had only known her for about a month, but suddenly he just couldn't think of life without her.

More and more tears began pouring out of his eyes. And Drew NEVER cried. That day in the football field was just about the only exception.
Otherwise, nothing made him cry this much. He just hated it.

Suddenly, he unwrapped his arms from around her amd looked into her eyes.

"Clare, what were you doing?", he exclaimed.

She was silent.

"Clare why would you do that? How could you do that to ME? Don't you care about me at all?"

He didn't mean to yell at her. He just hated to think that he almost lost her.

He continued in a calmer tone,
"Don't you see how Alli doing that affected you? Were you really going to do that to me?"

Silence.

The guilt and sadness in her eyes.
It killed him seeing her like this.
He didn't know what else to do.
So he just gave up and kissed her.
He couldn't help it. He NEEDED to do it.

He couldn't help but think that yesterday could have been his last time sharing an intimate moment with her. It could have been his last time holding her in his arms. It could have been his last chance to kiss those lips.

It could have been his last moment with her.
And would have never been able to live with that.

Suddenly, a figure standing in the door spotted them, and sighed in relief.

Ending sucked, i know :P
Reviews = next update
Which will include more of Ms. DeSousa ;)