I do not own Person of Interest or any characters you may recognize.


"Ms. Morgan," Joss held back her exasperation, barely. "What can I do for you tonight?"

"Please, call me Zoe - or Mrs. Reese if you'd prefer." The brazen woman smirked as if they were sharing a joke, then sashayed past her without waiting for an invitation

"Gee, why don't you come on in," Joss muttered under her breath then slammed the door shut and followed her surprise guest inside.

Zoe paused in the middle of the living room and surveyed the apartment - the well-worn couch and loveseat, the bookshelf behind it crammed with legal journals and police manuals, family photos and knickknacks on the mantel, and the basket overflowing with dirty laundry - in one sweeping glance, apparently not impressed by what she saw.

"Like I said Miss Morgan, how can I help you?" Joss crossed her arms over her chest and willed her pounding heart to slow down.

Confrontations were not really her thing, even though they were guaranteed in her line of work. It was so much easier to be an unbiased mediator than an injured party caught in the middle; but no matter how uncomfortable she was, Joss wasn't going to let Zoe come into her home and push her around.

Zoe turned away from peeking through the blinds covering the small balcony and regarded her with haughty brown eyes. "Actually the question is how can I help you Detective? John told me about your most recent accident and I wanted to see for myself how you were faring."

"John talked to Zoe about Saturday night?" She refused to give the other woman the satisfaction of seeing her surprise at that.

"Thank you for your concern, but as you can see I'm fine." Joss took several steps towards her front door hoping the silent hint would be all that was needed, but she should have known better. Zoe obviously had another purpose in coming over tonight.

"That's just it Detective Carter. For a woman who was nearly run over by a drunk driver, you look remarkably well."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Joss bristled at the suggestion in her tone.

"Nothing, it's just that after I spoke with John last night I was expecting to find you more bruised…battered."

"What can I say, guess someone up there likes me. So I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing, but if you'll -"

Don't misunderstand me Detective, I'm genuinely relieved that you weren't hurt, but one has to wonder about these accidents you continue to have."

"Excuse me?" Joss clamped down on her anger as best she could, but her mind was already reviewing take-down maneuvers she knew by heart from her academy training. She knew exactly how to grab Zoe's scrawny arms to force her out the door; and while part of her relished the idea of literally throwing her out, she wasn't going to resort to violence…yet.

"There's no need to get defensive Joss - may I call you Joss?" Zoe glossed over the big fat 'no' in her expression and glibly continued. "All I'm saying is I find it curious that every time John and I try to spend a free evening together you call needing his help with some wild emergency and he - out of concern for a friend - rushes off to your rescue."

Her silence didn't deter Zoe from talking, in fact it seemed to encourage her to keep going.

"You are an intelligent woman, so I don't understand why you continue to call him when it's clear he doesn't feel the same way you do."

"One - it's not my fault you can't hold on to a man; and two - what do you know about John's feelings, or mine for that matter?" She was quickly reaching her boiling point with Zoe.

"You can deny it if that makes you feel better dear, but it's obvious you have feelings for him. It was written all over your face when you found us together at the Coronet. I saw how crushed you were crushed when you realized John had chosen me over you."

The bitter heartache of that night stung her again, paralyzing in its intensity. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, but just as before she blinked them away rather than let them fall in front of Zoe.

"Oh I'm sure he wouldn't mind a quick roll in the hay if that's what you want - he is a man after all - but if you're looking for more than that I'm afraid you're going to be greatly disappointed. John thinks of you only as a friend, a helpful asset for his work with Harold."

Zoe brushed at an imaginary spot on her coat with a dismissive hand. "If he felt anything more than that wouldn't he have recognized you before you left the lobby?"

Recognize her? Did that mean John had tried to follow her after all?

"Or maybe he was a little too distracted to notice. Then that's always been the problem hasn't it Joss? John's never really noticed you, no matter how hard you tried to catch his attention. He sees you as a cop, a source of information, a means to an end; but never as a beautiful woman who is in love with him."

It was wrong to hate someone, Joss knew that; but at this moment she greatly disliked Zoe Morgan. The woman was like a cat, one that took great pleasure in toying with the mouse she caught before gobbling it up.

"John has always had something - someone - else on his mind hasn't he? First there was his old flame, then his work for the government and the bad things he was forced to do, then the loss of his mystery lover, his work with Harold…and now me."

Joss couldn't speak around the lump in her throat, couldn't find words to refute those assertions. Zoe had some of the details wrong, but that was the gist of it. Something always seemed to come between them.

"What's wrong Carter? Did I strike a nerve?" Her hard brown eyes glittered in triumph.

Joss felt her fury rise to unhealthy limits at the self-satisfied brow Zoe raised in challenge - as if daring her to argue the facts.

"Yeah my last one, so get out." She jerked her thumb towards the door wanting nothing more than to toss her out into the street; but she was not going to play into Zoe's hands.

The blonde strutted casually across the living room to inspect the pictures on the mantel up close, not hearing - or blatantly ignoring - the threat Joss had made clear in her request.

"Quaint," she mumbled, swiping a finger over a trace of dust around the frames. "You have a lovely family Joss."

"Do you have a point in all of this or am I supposed to guess?" Joss was through playing nice, her patience all but dissolved.

"My point, as you so bluntly put it, is that it you have so much to be thankful for. It would be an extraordinary shame if you were to suddenly lose everything." Zoe studied the same vacation photo Adam had two nights ago, then turned back to face her as if they were discussing something as innocuous as the weather. "Especially now that you've been given a second chance of sorts."

"Excuse you?" This bitch had a lot of nerve she'd give her that, but she wasn't about to let Zoe intimidate her like she did half of New York City.

"You heard me Detective. What would Captain Womack say if he found out you and Detective Fusco have been working with the Man in the Suit all this time?" Zoe ran the tip of her tongue across her upper lip. "The 'legend' of Jocelyn Carter would certainly take a beating if your fellow detectives discovered all the rules you've broken to aid and abet a wanted criminal."

Panic tickled her joints at the implications of that statement. Surely Zoe wasn't resorting to blackmail just to have John all to herself? Besides what proof did she have? Joss decided to play along a for the moment and try to find out what she was up to before she threw her first punch.

"So your plan is to what? Threaten me, get John arrested or even killed because if you can't have him no one else can either?"

That would happen over her dead body…hers or Zoe's if need be. She wasn't going to let John go back to prison. Being locked up again would kill him before his enemies or the CIA did.

"No, nothing so dramatic. I care about John a great deal and don't want to see him get hurt anymore than you do. I am just trying to help you see what's at stake Joss."

"You're playing a very dangerous game Ms. Morgan. There are pieces to this puzzle you know nothing about, pieces that could get you, John, or other innocent people killed."

Unwanted images of Donnelly's body twitching in death flashed through her mind.

"I know more than you give me credit for Joss - much more. John and I have grown very close over the last few months, especially after his recent scare.

So that's who John talked to after Harold un-strapped him from that bomb vest. It confirmed what she already knew, yet didn't make it hurt any less.

"You know it's amazing how open he is with someone he trusts." Zoe stared a her with a look of innocence and wonder.

"Open with someone he trusts?" The thought caused an uncomfortable pinch in her heart.

Joss had a hard time picturing stoic John Reese talking about Snow, Stanton, or even Jessica with Zoe. She thought their relationship was only about sex, stress release, but what else could explain how she knew some of the more private details about his life. More had happened out in Far Rockaway than she realized…which made her doubly grateful she didn't give in and let John kiss her Saturday night.

He had wanted to and as much as it embarrassed her to admit, she did too. God help her, Joss didn't think she could have stopped it from going beyond just one kiss. Now in hindsight she saw that for the mistake it would have been. They were both coming down from an adrenaline high, not thinking clearly - well she wasn't at least. John was probably thinking about where she would fit in his line up.

"I also know the police and the FBI believe John is dead now and are not actively looking for him. Interestingly enough, what they aren't aware of is your unique role in all of this"

Dread squeezed her spine, bearing down hard enough she struggled to stay upright. "You have no proof that I've done anything wrong."

"I would be more than happy to prove you wrong Detective, but I don't think you would like the consequences of forcing my hand." Zoe withdrew a picture from her leather handbag and offered it to her.

Joss' eyes narrowed at the grainy image. There she was, clear as day, switching DNA samples at the lab. Her face was partially obscured, but there was enough there to start an Internal Affairs investigation. "Where did you get this?"

"That's for me to know and you to hopefully never find out Joss, but lets just say Finch isn't the only one who can work magic with a computer."

She crumpled the photograph in frustration, fighting the urge to give in to fear.

"Please keep that one, I can always get another copy."

Joss was going to slap that smirk right off her face. "What is it you're after Zoe?

"That's quite simple really. I think it would be best if you stayed away from John. He is trying to rebuild his life and move on. We're starting over together, but that's not possible with your constant interference."

Zoe flipped a thick lock of dirty blonde hair over her shoulder, shaking her head as though confused by something.

"You've got a lot going for you Joss, I would hate to see you mess that up. And lets not forget Adam, the new man in your life. He's gorgeous, dependable, charming - half the women in this city would kill to have him look their way just once." She adjusted her grip on her purse. "Doubt he would stick around if he found out about your little 'side-job'…or how you've been chasing after 'Marshal Jennings'."

Enough was enough. Joss quietly crossed her living room until she was only inches away from Zoe's face. "Leave my friends and family out of this Ms. Morgan," she ground out. "If you've got a beef with me then take it up with only me."

"Oh I intend to Joss, but I don't think you're prepared for the…collateral damage from such a fight. So you see, it's best if you stay away from John before you end up losing the things that matter to you most - your freedom, your job, friends, even your son and a really great guy."

One last arrogant smirk then Zoe side-stepped her and headed towards the door to finally leave, feeling her message was delivered, but Joss was not inclined to let her waltz out just yet.

"What makes you so sure John would give me up so easily?"

Despite what Zoe claimed, Joss was sure he wouldn't. He said he would be there for her and she believed him. Granted it might mean he was there as a friend, or a big brother; but she was certain he wouldn't walk away even if she asked him to.

"That's where you have to be strong Joss and let him go instead. John is too loyal for his own good, he won't leave so you have to do it for him."

"You want me to push John away?" If this was Zoe's idea of a joke she needed to keep her day job. "Wouldn't that make him suspicious and seek me out all the more?"

"Don't worry about that, I can keep him occupied so he won't notice your absence…like I did at the hotel."

Zoe's smile grew even wider as she realized what a soft target her words had found.

"In fact as many times as he called out my name, it's safe to say you didn't cross his mind at all that night."

Unbidden, images of John kissing Zoe outside the elevators sprang to mind, but she wasn't going to run this time. Her warning was probably meant to leave her cowering in fear, but it only served to rouse her protective instincts.

"So one night in the penthouse suite means he's yours to keep?"

"Oh it was more than that Joss and we both know it. Living together in Far Rockaway as husband and wife helped rekindle our relationship, and since then we've tried to spend as much time together as our schedules allow."

Joss almost believed her, likely would have if it weren't for a thirty-second conversation she shared with John while they were spying on Graham's meeting with his old crew.

"Trying out a new look?" On the surface it was a harmless question about his new, decidedly more casual wardrobe; but deep down she was also asking about the new 'partner' he was trying out.

"No, more like missing my old one." John didn't even hesitate to answer and she felt a silly warmth spread through her heart. He probably meant he missed his trademark suits; but they way their eyes locked, Joss felt sure he heard her real question and gave her an honest, if indirect, answer.

Obviously he had grown to like his new look.

"We meet up at my place sometimes, but mostly at his apartment where he feels more comfortable," Zoe continued, unaware of Joss' wandering attention. "The view of the city from those big windows late at night is breathtaking - not that I had much time to look if you know what I mean."

That snagged her drifting thoughts.

John, who guarded his privacy almost as closely as Finch, brought Zoe to his loft? Joss resisted the urge to grab her purse and show off the key John had given her the night she returned from Texas.

With the way this day was going Zoe would be able to open her purse and whip out one of her own.

"If you two are that close then why are you here? Unless you're not as confident about his feelings as you think you are." She didn't miss the twinge of discomfort shudder through Zoe before she strapped her aloof mask back in place.

"Nice try Joss, but I have no doubts about my relationship with John. I know for a fact that his feelings for you are nothing more than guilt over not being able to prevent what happened."

Zoe repositioned her handbag on her shoulder and leaned in close as if sharing a secret. "But even that wasn't enough to stop him from sneaking back to my place every night after you fell asleep to fuck me senseless."

The blunt answer delivered a crippling blow to her resolve to keep her tears at bay. Joss had her suspicions about where John went when he left the hospital at night, but hearing it in those terms made her ill all the same.

"Now he's running himself ragged trying to make it up to you - answering your calls day and night, canceling our plans to jump every time you snap your fingers. It's time you put your selfish needs aside and let John go."

Joss stared at the corner of a framed print just over Zoe's shoulder, her skin burning with fury that simmered just under the surface.

"We're a lot alike you and I." Zoe said quietly.

"How do you figure that?" They were nothing alike as far as she was concerned - except for their strong feelings for John.

"We are both beautiful, hard-working, intelligent, independent women who fight for what we want. John cares about both of us, and I'd like for us to be friends someday, for his sake if nothing else."

Joss shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't see any scenario where a friendship with Zoe Morgan was possible. Hell would be more likely to freeze over first.

"I'm willing to try, but if you can't manage that then stay out of my way Joss and I'll stay out of yours." Zoe seemed tired of keeping up a polite façade and brushed past her in a cloud of heavy perfume, but not without one last parting shot. "Oh and Detective?"

Joss regarded her warily, fists balled up at her sides.

"You should watch who you keep company with. Cal Beecher is mixed up in some less than savory business." A calculating smile twisted her lips. "Wouldn't want that to soil your lamb's wool reputation."

"What do you mean by that?" Her nails bit into her palms as she grudgingly gave Zoe credit for her knowledge of the city and its players large and small.

"Consider it a friendly warning so you can look after yourself." One perfectly manicured hand yanked the knob and opened her front door. "Instead of relying on John to save you."

Zoe stepped over the threshold but not without digging in her claws a little deeper. "I have a feeling he'll be tied up next time."

With that she strolled to the stairs calm, cool, and collected - the exact opposite of Jocelyn Carter.

Her restraint finally snapped and the needle on her moral compass took a sharp turn southward. She took two steps out the door, ready to toss her badge aside and show Zoe what a real fight looked like when Taylor emerged from his self-imposed hibernation.

"Hey mom what's for dinner? I'm starved!"

Joss paused just on the other side of the door. "What am I doing?" This wasn't her, she didn't engage in catfights over men - although John Reese was a man worth fighting for no matter how conflicted he made her feel.

She shouldn't be this worked up about it, yet Zoe's claims that John was hers left Joss wanting nothing more than to wipe that arrogant grin right off her face by proving her wrong.

"Mom?" Taylor's worried voice sounded closer. "You going somewhere?"

Joss drew in a deep breath and unclenched her fists, forcing a smile for her son's benefit.

"No baby." She turned to face Taylor, the concern in his eyes intensifying her guilt. "Just thought I would take out the trash."

"But you don't -"

"What are you hungry for?" She cut him off with an exaggerated clap of her hands. "How about Chinese?"

Joss had absolutely no interest in food, but the need to get out of the house was overwhelming. She would use any excuse she could to escape for a few minutes. "I'll go pick it up."

"Or we could get it delivered…" Taylor eyed her with another suspicious pause. "Like we always do."

Her son knew she would rather pay for the convenience of delivery than trudge eight blocks to Hunan Palace to save five dollars.

"I've been cooped up in here all day, I could use some fresh air," she hedged.

"It's like ten degrees out there." Taylor was not letting this go easily.

"The car has a heater." If she decided to drive instead of walk, and after Saturday night that was probably a smart idea. Joss knew she had to be careful and she would, but she desperately needed a few minutes alone.

"Okay, okay, I'll get my coat. We can eat there if you want."

"No!" she yelped more forcefully than intended. Taylor regarded her with wide eyes that narrowed in mistrust. "I don't mind going by myself, just have the table set by the time I get back."

"Sure you're alright mom?" He trailed her to the coat closet. Joss stopped, mad at herself for the unease Taylor obviously felt.

"I'm fine T, I promise." She kissed his cheek and winced when his arms wrapped around her middle, grazing the fresh scratch on her back he didn't know was there. As much as she wanted to time alone to clear her head, her little boy needed her more.

"Tell you what, why don't you grab your coat and we'll eat there." Zoe wasn't going to get the better of her.

"It's like ten degrees out there," Taylor scoffed again, more at ease now. "I'll just wait here in our nice toasty apartment."

"Oh no mister, you made the offer so let's go." She grabbed her purse and prodded him out the door.

Once outside they made a mutual decision to walk rather than drive and forfeit the much coveted parking spot Joss had scored directly in front of their building. Taylor talked her ear off the entire trip to Hunan Palace, but Joss found her attentions drifting back to Zoe's visit.

She should just let her have him, and move on from there. Adam could definitely make her happy, and Joss could honestly see a bright future with him. A relationship with John would never work whether he was interested or not. They were too different - she enforced the law and he broke it every chance he got, John had a long list of enemies looking for him where Joss had Taylor's safety to think of.

It just wouldn't work, but that didn't mean she wanted Zoe to have him either. John could do better, although no options readily sprang to mind. Joss toyed briefly with the idea of warning him about what his girlfriend was up to; but that would only raise more questions - ones she wasn't ready to answer.

Taylor held open the restaurant's red paneled door for her and she stepped in to the overcrowded lobby. It seemed everyone else in the city was in the mood for Chinese as well, and since the wait for a table was more than an hour they opted to take their dinner back home instead. She and Taylor poured over the menu but ended up ordering their favorites: lemon chicken, sweet and sour pork, Mongolian beef, Kung Pao shrimp, Chinese broccoli with garlic sauce, and vegetable fried rice. Joss winced when the waitress read back the total, but the leftovers should feed Taylor for at least two more meals.

A rowdy party of college kids was called just then allowing Taylor and Joss to squeeze onto the bench they vacated next to the large tropical fish tank. They admired their beautiful colors and Joss managed to get a genuine - and embarrassed - laugh out of Taylor with her impersonation of a black speckled catfish that floated by.

Talk turned to the big play-off game Wednesday night and Joss could tell he was more nervous than excited about the game that could send them to the state championship tournament. She promised she would call Harold and John the next morning and invite them even though she was pretty sure Taylor already had.

"Joss?" She instantly recognized the voice calling her name and it certainly wasn't the waitress with their food.

"Adam?' She stood and picked her way towards the bar area where he was waiting as he weaved through customers and wait staff to meet her in the middle.

"What on earth are you doing here?" she asked leaning into his warm embrace. His powerful arms folded her into his chest and she soaked in the comfort he unknowingly offered. After the crazy day she'd had she could use a hug

"I just left the fire station and thought I would pick up dinner before heading home. He lifted a hand to greet Taylor and walked with her back to their bench hand in hand. "What about you guys? I thought tonight you were serving up a home cooked meal."

Joss glanced over her shoulder at the stool he'd vacated and the attractive brunette - make that the attractive yet scowling brunette - who was now shooting daggers her way. What was wrong with the women in this city tonight?

"Did we interrupt something Mr. Orsini?" Jealousy flickered to life in the pit of her stomach before she could squelch it. Her relationship with Adam was by no means exclusive, hadn't even talked about it, yet she thought they were possibly moving towards that.

"Huh?"

Joss tipped her head in the direction of the bar where the young woman hefted a fresh Mai Tai to her pouting lips.

"Who her?" He was honestly confused. "She sat down a few minutes ago to wait for someone, we said hello, that's about…wait are you jealous?

She felt her face redden at being caught but still shook her head in a feeble attempt to deny it. "Ha, no! You're - it's - and I was just -"

"You are!" he laughed.

Another leggy brunette hobbled over to the open seat, but Adam turned back to Joss and wrapped his arm tightly around her waist. "We'll have to talk about that later Joss," he murmured in her ear as they stopped in front of the fish tank.

Taylor shook Adam's hand with a smile and allowed another couple to take their seat so the three could wait together.

"So what you guys are doing at Hunan's?" he asked again.

"Mom forgot to go to the store today." Taylor volunteered.

"I meant to," she explained to them both. "The day just got away from me."

"You were busy as I recall," Adam agreed with a smirk. He knew darn well what kept her from stopping by the supermarket, but thankfully he didn't mention her field trip to the office in front of Taylor.

"I'll go tomorrow while you're at practice," she promised, although truth be told she was not looking forward to lugging all those heavy sacks up three flights of stairs by herself. She grew tired just thinking about it.

"How about I keep you company while you're shopping?" Adam suggested.

"I'd like that. We could grab a bite to eat after and hang out until Taylor gets out of practice?" Paying for dinner was the least she could do after the workout he was going to get carrying her groceries for her.

A waiter interrupted, bringing over Adam's order. It was on the tip of her tongue to invite him to eat with them, however Taylor beat her to it.

"I would love to, if that's okay with your mom." Two sets of eyes turned to her for an answer.

"That's fine with me," she agreed with a smile. How could she say no, plus he would provide a welcome distraction from the anger and hurt Zoe's visit left behind.

They talked about their plans for the next night and ten minutes later their dinner was ready as well.

"Let me walk you to your car then I'll meet you back at your place." Adam offered when the restaurant's door closed behind them.

"No need," Joss declined. "We walked tonight."

"Walked?! It's like ten degrees out here Joss!" His surprised breath puffed out to mingle with theirs.

Taylor turned to her, eyebrows raised and lips pursed in the perfect "I told you so" look. She swore he was shivering for added effect, not because he was truly that cold.

"We didn't want to lose our parking space." She defended their decision even as a strong gust of wind blew her hair across her face.

"Come on, it's not that cold. I've been out in worse weather than this when I worked patrol. We had to be there no matter what the conditions were, which meant I walked -"

"Uphill through the snow both ways." Taylor and Adam said in unison. Joss rolled her eyes at the clowns, but the effect was completely ruined when she laughed with them.

"Fine, if you're offering a ride we'll take it….I might be a little chilly."

"Great. Your chariot awaits milady." He bowed with a flourish and led them to his truck just down the block.


John automatically righted himself before yanking his prey back into the cover of the trees lining the hiking trail. He kept one fist curled tightly around the detective's jacket front and scanned their surroundings for signs of anyone else lurking about, watching.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Fusco struggled and failed to free himself from John's iron grip.

Reese ignored the question and turned on Fusco, backing him into the trunk of the nearest tree until he had nowhere to run, their faces only inches apart.

"What are you doing here Lionel?" he snarled. Had Finch gone against his earlier instructions and sent Fusco out here as back up anyway?

"What am I -? You're the one who left the message asking me to meet you here."

Message? No, that couldn't be right. He trusted Lionel, not only with his life but with Finch, Joss and Taylor. The idea that Fusco would hurt his partner was as absurd as accusing Finch of being in on it too.

But what if his past was catching up with him? HR had plenty of incriminating dirt on Fusco and was not above using loved ones as leverage to gain cooperation. Maybe they were blackmailing him, threatening his son to force him to go along with their plan to get rid of Joss. Fusco might have felt he had no choice but to do what they asked, and then called 911 at the last minute hoping Joss would be rescued in time.

If that was the case he would show him mercy in the end, but he would kill him all the same.

"Give me your phone," he demanded in a voice laced with deadly intent.

John snatched it out of his hands and looked the device over finding nothing out of the ordinary, not even a logo or marking that would identify it or make it stand out in any way. He flicked it open, the mellow blue light from the blank home screen not bright enough to dispel the shadows around them.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on - why you're acting so squirrelly? What did you find out about Carter's case?"

Reese increased the pressure on Fusco's chest keeping him pinned in place while he accessed the phone's voicemail system. Only one message lingered in the inbox, one dated for earlier that morning - the exact same time when he left one of his own.

His earlier fury was now dulled to the point of numbness at the possibility that one of their own had betrayed Joss. With a shaking finger he pushed play and listened to his raspy voice fill the still air around them only to be replaced with the clacking of tree branches in the breeze once it stopped.

Lionel broke the silence with an irritated huff. "And I'm here now - freezing my balls off - so you wanna tell me why you dragged me all the way out here instead of meeting at a coffee shop like we usually do?"

"It can't be him" continued to run through his mind. How had Fusco managed to fool him all this time? John had been sold out before by people he'd considered friends, but this one cut deeper than the rest.

"You tell me Lionel. I left that message this morning for the bastard that made the call to 911 about the fire and tipped off Reyes about Wetherby's involvement." He latched on to Fusco's coat collar and squeezed mercilessly.

"That wasn't me!" His face contorted with pain and an unidentifiable emotion - fear, anger, confusion maybe?

"You sure it wasn't you Fusco?" Reese hauled the shorter man off his feet and shook him roughly for an explanation, not phased by his frantic struggling. "Does your pal Simmons have something on you? Did you decided to sacrifice Joss so you could save your own worthless hide?"

"Fuck you asshole!" Lionel gasped and swung out with a right that glanced off his jaw. "Carter's my partner…I would never…hurt her."

"Why should I believe you? It wasn't all that long ago that Elias and HR were trying to kill her and you wanted me to let them, said my life would be easier without her." John's fingers dug deeper into Fusco's neck as the memory of that conversation fed his rage.

"Mr. Reese stop!" Harold's panicked voice broke in. "He's telling the truth, that is not his HR issued phone number."

"He could have changed it Finch," he ground out between clenched teeth. "Maybe he bought another phone or Simmons gave him a new one for when they were found out." John squeezed harder, knowing it wouldn't take much to choke the life out of him - just like they had tried to do to Joss.

"Think about it John, please. If Detective Fusco was trying to keep his involvement a secret, why would he show up tonight?"

"To play dumb, and throw us off his trail." Harold was making sense, his gut was telling him the same thing; but John was so damn tired of running into dead ends.

Fusco clawed at his arms, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge them and get air back into his lungs. Sweat ran down his florid face but he continued to kick out and fight although they both knew it was a losing battle.

"We've been played John. Whoever is behind all of this must feel that we're getting too close and they used the detective to throw us off their trail instead." Harold grew quiet for a moment, but he could sense the other man's worry through the open line.

He growled in frustration as he dropped his hold on Fusco, more angry at himself and the mess he'd created.

"Let's meet at Thelma's in an hour to regroup and decide where to go from here." Finch suggested.

"Yeah, okay." John didn't have it in him to say more and disconnected the call. He had screwed up royally this time, been blindsided and in his overzealousness to get someone for what had happened to Joss he'd attacked a friend. John could only hope his friend would accept his apology in time.

"I'm sorry Lionel," he looked away from the man rubbing his reddened throat.

John was aware of how differently he treated his two detectives, Fusco usually bore the brunt of his frustration, but he considered the cranky cop a trusted friend. If not he wouldn't have overlooked Lionel's attempt to kill him or made him a part of their team. He deserved better than "I'm sorry".

"I should have trusted you. It's just this case, I can't -"

"I know." His shoulders heaved with the effort to breath in enough air to get the words out. "…It's Joss…we're all a little on edge."

The two men stared at each other for a moment, a sincere apology given and accepted in the ensuing silence. Reese nodded, knowing he was forgiven; but repairing the damage would take more time.

"Any idea who this phone really belongs to?" He was the first to speak and handed the cell back to Fusco.

"Nah it looks just like all the other HR issued ones. But whoever it is, he - or she - must be pretty high up in the organization."

"What makes you say that?"

"Simmons doesn't want them to fall into the wrong hands. He only gives out phones to HR members after they've proven their loyalty, and even then they only go to detectives or higher ranking officers."

"So we're thinking this is HR now?" It made sense, but there were aspects of the case that didn't fit with their usual MO. "Was she working any cases connected to them - say in the last six months?"

"None that I knew of. We've caught a lot of regular murders lately - your basic arguments over money, lovers quarrels, people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, that sorta thing…"

Fusco cleared his throat and continued in a gravelly voice that made John wince. "Moss has been sniffing around the precinct over the last few months, so my guess is he talked her into working a few investigations for him off-book."

John suspected Donnelly's replacement had no trouble recruiting Carter to continue the Bureau's crusade against HR. But was that the reason someone was trying to kill her now?

"Maybe HR saw an opportunity to finish her off at the Chamberlin crime scene, then framed the boyfriend for both so they could walk away clean."

"And faked his suicide to shut him up, making sure the case never got to court," Reese finished his thought, trying his best to ignore the guilt dogging him. Even HR noticed his abandonment of Joss and felt it was safe to try to take her out again.

He was going to take great pleasure in proving them wrong.

"Get that phone to Finch, he'll be waiting for you at Thelma's; but take the long way in case anyone followed you out here."

"Where are you going?" His tone suggested he already knew the answer to that question. John felt awkward at having to explain himself to Fusco, but he had a right to know.

"I'm heading to Carter's place. We need to have a little chat about what she's been up to these last few months."

Fusco turned to leave but John stayed him with a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you Lionel, for every thing."

He bobbed his head in understanding then turned to pick his way back through the brush to his car. John did the same making his way to the parking lot just beyond the closed nature center.

Thirty-five minutes later he was knocking on Joss' apartment door, worried when he didn't get a response. From the outside he had noticed the bedroom and living room lights were off, but it was too early for Joss and Taylor, his night owls, to have gone to bed.

Tuesdays were grocery night for the Carter family, so perhaps they were making a late run or had decided to go out for dinner instead.

He refused to let his mind linger on other disturbing possibilities and pulled out his phone to call her…only to hear a faint ringing on the other side of the locked door. What the hell was her burner phone doing at home if she wasn't there? He immediately dialed her personal cell and was sent to voicemail. After he found Joss and was sure she was alright, he planned on giving her a lecture that would make her ears burn. She wouldn't be so reckless with her safety again.

Finch and Fusco would be meeting right about now, but they could spare a few minutes to find Carter for him before he kicked her door off its hinges in frustration.

His finger was just about to tap the hidden ear piece to contact Harold when he heard laughter drift up the stairwell. The swift relief at hearing Joss and Taylor arrive home safe and sound was cut short when he heard a deep male voice join theirs.

"How old were you when that happened Taylor?" Adam asked as they rounded the last turn.

"Five, and when I say mom freaked out I mean she - hey John!"

They turned to him as a group and there was no time to hide even if he wanted to. The trio stopped at the last step, one happy to see him, one suspicious, and one who looked…what was that? Worry? Fear?

"Taylor." He accepted the boy's high-five with a sincere smile then eyed the couple behind him.

His dark mood continued to deteriorate at how happy they looked, exactly like a close family coming home to eat a late dinner before settling in for the night - except this was his family. He had been taking Joss and Taylor out to dinner long before Adam showed up and would be long after he was gone.

"John? What are you doing here?"

"Protecting what's mine," sprang to mind first, but instead he said, "I have something I need to run by you about Wetherby's case…but I can see you're busy."

She narrowed her eyes and John knew she was trying to judge his true motives. He made no move to leave, curious to see what she would do - who she would choose.

"Taylor, why don't you and Adam go on in and set the table while I speak with Marshal Jennings out here." Joss handed her son the keys and he bit back a smug grin when he caught sight of the colorful hummingbird key chain he gave her for her birthday last year.

Taylor unlocked the door and stepped back to let his guest in first, yet Adam hesitated.

"This won't take long, I promise." John didn't miss the familiar squeeze she gave his arm.

Sea green eyes defiantly met his steel-blue ones in a challenging stare before Adam walked past him into the Carter apartment.

"What was so important you couldn't have called John?" Reese cocked his head at the irritation he heard in her voice. He had not done anything that would warrant that kind of reaction - at least not yet.

"I tried to call but someone left her phone at home Joss." He couldn't keep his own aggravation from creeping in to his words.

"Taylor wanted to go out for dinner and I forgot it on the charger. I do have my cell phone with me," she shot back.

"Which you also didn't answer."

"I was kinda busy."

"Doing what?" he wanted to ask, but kept that to himself.

"So, what did you need to tell me John?" Joss looked up and down the hall then pulled him inside to talk in the privacy of her front entryway.

"We may have a lead on who called 911 the night of the attack." He hadn't wanted to tell her like this, but the situation forced his hand.

Her eyes widened and he saw the obvious question there long before she spoke. "Who?"

"Not sure yet, Finch, Fusco and I are working that angle." There was no need to go in to detail about the fiasco at Pelham Bay.

"What can I do to help?" She was all business now, her earlier annoyance seemingly forgotten.

"I was hoping we could talk about the cases you've been working on recently."

"You think it could be related?" John watched in fascination as she transformed from Joss Carter, woman on a date, to Joss Carter, homicide detective right before his eyes.

"I don't know that either, just following up on a hunch at this point."

John inched closer and breathed deeply, expecting Joss' light perfume to wash over him, yet a heavier overpowering scent hung in the air. It was definitely a woman's perfume, a heady mix of sweet and spicy - just like the one Zoe favored. Had one of her girlfriends dropped by for a visit this evening?

"Entertaining guests tonight Joss?" John asked, wondering if he would have to make a reservation to spend any time with her. He became concerned when she paled slightly, then flushed at his guess.

"Adam and I ran into each other at the restaurant tonight by accident John, not that it's any of your business."

"That's not what -"

"You're welcome to join us though. We have plenty and afterwards we could go over my case load."

He would love to stay and eat dinner with Taylor and Joss, but John doubted he could sit through another date night without doing something he should - but wouldn't - regret.

"Nah, I wouldn't want to intrude." He took one last step forward, crowding Joss against her apartment door. When she raised her wide eyes to his he dipped his head down to whisper in her ear, "Call me after your company leaves and we'll talk more."

A mischievous impulse had him cupping her sweet face in one hand and rubbing his thumb across her delicate cheekbone. John knew he couldn't leave without giving her something to think about while she was having dinner with Adam, something to ensure she wouldn't forget about him.

As much as he would love to kiss her and wipe away any trace of that other man from her thoughts, now wasn't the right time. Taylor or Adam could walk by at any moment and catch them. No matter how desperate his need was, John wouldn't place her in such a compromising position. Instead he settled on feathering his lips across the same path his thumb had taken.

Pride welled up in his chest when he pulled back just far enough to watch her eyelids flutter closed. He leaned in to kiss his way back to her ear, enjoying the warmth of her small hand on his chest, clutching his shirt and pulling him closer.

John heard the clatter of plates and silver wear coming from the kitchen, but couldn't resist pushing his luck a tad bit further. He didn't pause to consider what he was doing, just placed an open mouth kiss on the tender skin just below her jaw, his tongue darting out for a quick taste.

"Don't forget to call me Joss," he murmured against the sensitive spot, then gripped the door knob by her waist and slipped out of the apartment.


"Don't forget to call me Joss." John's request rang in her ears as she pushed the last of her rice around on her plate.

By themselves the words were harmless, yet when he said them with his full weight pressed against her and his lips nuzzling her neck they were anything but.

"Mom?" Taylor asked with a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

Both he and Adam were staring at her waiting for an answer to a question she never heard.

"I'm sorry T, what was that?" Joss smiled at her son and gripped her fork tighter. Damn it that was the second time since John left that he had caught her woolgathering.

"Are you done with your plate?" he was being suspiciously well-mannered tonight. Usually it took a couple of firm reminders before the table was clean.

"Sure sweetie, thanks." She handed him her plate and stood to help him clear the leftovers, thankful for the diversion from her jumbled thoughts.

Adam rose from the table as well and gathered the take-out cartons, ignoring Joss' insistence that he have a seat in the living room.

"If it weren't for you and Taylor I'd be sitting on the couch in my apartment eating in front of the TV so it's the least I can do."

Several minutes later the dishes were rinsed and the leftovers packed away in the fridge. Taylor scooped up his backpack and headed off to bed leaving her alone in the living room with Adam.

Joss grabbed his hand and led him over to the couch, not in any particular hurry to have him leave. Hanging out with Adam was definitely more appealing than sorting through everything that had happened today…the worrisome conversation with Ray, the lecture from Captain Womack, Zoe's visit followed by John's…it could all wait.

Adam eased back against the sofa cushions and drew her against his side. Joss followed willingly, content to rest her head on his shoulder and trace the outline of the Maltese Cross embroidered on his black FDNY pullover.

"Want to talk about what's got you so distracted tonight Joss?" he murmured, weaving his fingers through hers to capture her hand.

"Not particularly," she thought, but there was no use denying it. "I'm sorry about that, I don't mean to be. John just caught me by surprise showing up like that."

"You never did say what he wanted." His fingers lightly skimmed across the healing abrasion on her palm.

Joss winced at the underlying frustration in his question. She hadn't missed the way his body stiffened in suspicion when they came home to find John waiting on her doorstep; and if she didn't know any better she might be tempted to believe he was jealous.

No matter how fun it would be to tease him about that, the last thing she needed was for Adam to start asking questions that might expose John and Finch. Her two lives had already intersected too much, so the truth - or a slightly modified version - was her best bet now.

"He stopped by to discuss a new lead he came across while he was interviewing a witness in my assault case."

"I thought Detective Terney closed out your case after Wetherby committed suicide."

"He did," her disgruntled sigh came out louder than she had intended. "But I just can't let it go yet, not with everything that's happened since then."

Adam hugged her tight letting her know he was thinking about the accident Saturday night. Joss had not planned on telling him, but an article in Sunday morning's Post did it for her.

After reading the story, complete with a picture of her standing in the rubble with Davidson and Nelson, he had called in the middle of his shift to make sure she was alright. His concern for her safety touched her, and she smiled remembering how close she had been to taking him up on his offer of a full body check-up.

"Next time we go out you get dessert - no exceptions. I still can't believe you walked home after that."

"What else could I do? I spent the last of my cash on those damn cupcakes." she smirked to cover the guilt she felt about lying to him. It couldn't be helped, at least that's what she kept telling herself. Trying to explain why she called John and what had happened afterward would have been difficult if not impossible.

"You could have called me," he spoke quietly against her hair.

"I didn't want to be a bother. You had your hands full helping your parents clean up Sal's." She curled more fully into his side and pillowed her head on his chest.

"Jocelyn look at me."

She obediently lifted her head to lock eyes with him, liking the emotions she easily read there.

"You are not a bother, don't ever think that. I would gladly do whatever is necessary to make sure you're safe."

"Thank you." Joss swallowed hard around the lump that formed in her throat at the thought of being taken care of by him. It was appealing, way to appealing considering they had known each other for all of three weeks.

She searched for something to say to lighten the moment. "But if you haven't noticed, I am a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

"Trust me honey I've noticed, and I have no doubt you could handle any situation that comes your way. I just want you to know I'm here to help whenever you need me." Adam lowered his head to kiss her softly. "Call me next time?"

"Maybe," Joss whispered around her smile before wrapping a hand around his neck to pull his mouth back to hers. She reveled in the sensation of this man's strong desire for her. Deep down she was certain this was more than a momentary distraction for Adam, that if she let him in it could definitely lead to something more permanent, something she was searching for without even realizing it.

The couch creaked slightly as he shifted to face her and Joss didn't resist when his large hands gripped her hips to tug her onto his lap. Gone was the playful eagerness of their previous kisses, replaced with an embrace that held equal notes of hunger and impatience.

One hand remained at her waist to keep her pulled flush against him, the other smoothed up her back and over her shoulder to cup her head and tangle in her hair, crushing her mouth to his.

To hell with taking things slow and playing it safe - she was tired of worrying about everyone else's happiness. What good had that done her lately?

Her lips parted easily under the insistent press of his, and Joss felt her skin prickle with anticipation at each sweep of his tongue against hers. She allowed him to take control the kiss while her hands slipped under his sweater to wander over the tight bands of muscles layered across his abdomen, fascinated by the way they rippled under her fingertips. Adam's answering moan rumbled through her clear to the soles of her feet.

The dire need for air forced Joss to break the kiss, but he let her go just long enough to suck in a quick gasp before capturing her mouth with his again. She tilted her hips forward and brushed against the solid bulge straining against the barrier of his dark jeans. Joss' body urged her on, her skin growing hot at the promise of a release for the tension that had been steadily building inside of her for months, years - ever since her first meeting with a certain man and his soulful blue eyes.

No! No, she was not going to think of him now, John wasn't going to steal the pleasure of this moment from her. Joss scrunched her eyes closed tighter and willed the image to go away…yet there he was plain as day, leaning against the kitchen doorway, shaking his head in disapproval. If she listened carefully enough - which she wouldn't - Joss could hear his deep voice asking if she was aware of what she was doing.

Of course she was, it was called moving on, living her life. Granted she would have liked to have satisfied her curiosity about what a John Reese kiss would feel like, but that was destined to be an itch left unscratched now.

Such a shame really. Joss would bet her entire pension he was as skilled at kissing as he was at hand to hand combat. Sex practically oozed out of every pore and his natural swagger promised he was an expert at using his entire body - lips, tongue, teeth, hands and parts lower - to fulfill any fantasy a woman could dream up.

Joss imagined how John's firm lips would feel burning a path down her throat, his hot breath grazing over her skin in bursts that would only intensify the ache between her legs.

She struggled for air and bucked against him again as his tongue found a particularly sensitive spot on her collarbone. The knave knew exactly what he was doing and repeated the action to draw out another needy moan from her. Her hands stopped roaming over the rock-like muscles of his chest to grasp his head and anchor him to her.

Cool air rushed over her lower back as John's powerful hands eased under her sweatshirt and up her heated skin to flirt with the clasp of her bra. Joss opened her eyes when the silky material slipped loose, needing to see his face and assure herself they were ready for this new level of intimacy.

"Jo…" No wait, what? That wasn't John in her arms, it was…oh God what was wrong with her? She was most definitely not the type of woman who daydreamed about one man while she was kissing another. But damn if that's not what happened.

"Ju…umm, just a minute," she stammered, praying desperately that would cover up the fact she almost called out someone else's name. Joss let him pull her into a bear hug, too busy wallowing in guilt to take comfort in the fact Adam had apparently not heard her the gaffe. "Sorry about that, guess I got a little carried away."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for princess." He covered her hand resting over his rapidly beating heart and gently bussed her ear. "You were not the only one."

The words were probably supposed to make her feel better, yet they had the opposite effect. Her muddled brain pushed her to keep talking, spouting off reasons why they needed to stop. "We can't…we're not ready and my son -"

"Joss it's okay, really. I know nothing can happen with Taylor here; and I won't pressure you into something you're not ready for."

"I know, thank you."

"I mean it when I say you are worth waiting for."

Joss was beginning to suspect she didn't deserve this man.

"But it's probably best if I get going. You are worn out and I need a cold shower."

Joss laughed and slid off his lap to stand by the sofa on shaky legs. Adam sent her a smug wink then pulled her close. "Do you need anything before I head out? Ice cream, cookies, cupcakes?"

"Thank you, but no, I cannot eat another bite tonight. I'm afraid it's going to take at least an hour at the gym tomorrow to work off dinner."

"You look fantastic Joss, I wouldn't change a thing." His eyes held no teasing this time, just good old-fashioned desire.

Joss ducked her head, flustered by the compliment. She withdrew from his arms to grab his coat off the lumpy easy chair and walk him to the door. Adam quickly shrugged it on then gripped both of her hands in his larger ones.

"Tonight was fun. I'm glad I ran into you and Taylor."

"Me too. Today was a little rough - well a lot rough - but you went a long way in turning that around."

"Glad I could help." Adam leaned down and gently brushed her lips once more. "Promise you'll call me if you need anything?"

"I promise," she whispered. Whether she would or not remained to be seen.

"Goodnight Joss."

"See you tomorrow." One last kiss and he was on the other side of the door waiting for her to lock up.

Joss glanced at the mantel clock as she straightened up the living room, startled to find it was already after 11:00 pm. Was John still waiting up for her to call or had he gone to bed? Should she even risk it after everything that had happened today?

Yes. The need to find out about more about their new lead outweighed any discomfort she felt at facing him. The man was potent, but what harm could come from a simple phone call that would only be about work? .

Joss breezed through her bedroom and pinned her hair up before jumping in the tub for a quick bath. Fifteen minutes she was lotioned up and ready for bed, staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The woman staring back looked the same on the outside, yet inside she was different. The changes were subtle, but she felt as if she was being pulled in two separate directions. Soon she would need to make a decision about which road to take, which heartbreak she could bear.

She sighed wearily and retreated to her room to settle under the covers with her fully charged burner phone. Her finger hovered over the speed dial button in a moment of indecision. What if Zoe was visiting tonight? A late night phone call might irritate her even more…Joss pushed the button with a gleeful smile, only slightly worried about her earlier threats.

John answered after only two rings. "Detective. I was wondering if you were going to call me tonight."

Was that jealousy or drowsiness she heard? "I'm sorry John, did I wake you?"

"Not at all, I'm just lying here watching TV…waiting on you."

He hadn't said anything about being naked, but that's the first image that popped into her mind: bare chested John, lounging against several pillows, one arm bent behind his head, phone in the other, and that smirk she had grown to love playing about his lips.

"Did your company finally leave?" Yup he was jealous. Maybe Zoe and Adam were on to something. Interesting…

"Nah, he's in the bathroom washing up. I wanted to call you before we went to bed." She secretly loved the harsh intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"Joss."His low growl vibrated through the phone and unfurled a wave of goose bump down her limbs.

A large part of her wanted to toy with him for a little while longer - after all it wasn't every day she had a vulnerable John Reese at her mercy - but she relented and let him off the hook…kind of.

"I'm kidding, Adam left a long time ago." He was making this way to easy for her. "Really John, Taylor is right down the hall. What kind of woman do you take me for?"

"Certainly not a tease, but I'm beginning to wonder…" His voice was scratchy with relief, but she sensed the slight agitation.

"I don't see what the problem would be if Adam did spend the night though."

"Taylor for one," John grunted. "You need to set a good example for your son."

"I do set a good example for my son thank you very much. Besides that boy sleeps like the dead. I could sneak Adam and a marching band in and out of here and he would never be the wiser."

"Why risk it? Like you said he's right down the hall."

"I suppose you're right." She paused before releasing a heavy sigh as if she were seriously considering the matter. "The best thing to do then is meet Adam at his place."

Joss pressed a fist to her lips to keep her giggles from escaping. Talking so casually about her fake sex life with John was a little weird, but his ill-tempered responses were making her downright giddy.

"That idea is even worse than your first one. You don't know him well enough to spend the night at his apartment. He could be some sort of…of…pervert for all we know."

"He's not that kind of guy, I've checked. And even if he did try anything I'm a cop remember? I can handle myself."

"Not against a man twice your size Carter."

"Well John how else will I get to know him if I don't spend time with him - either here or at his place?"

"You don't." He said the words as if that gruff, short answer should have been obvious to her from the start.

"I don't huh? Then what do you suggest I do, remain celibate the rest of my life?"

"No that's not -"

"Wait let me guess, I should take a page from your book and find a special friend who's up for a casual sexual relationship, no strings attached - like the one you've got going on right?"

Joss cursed under her breath and promised herself that one day he would not push her buttons so easily. She might have started this to rattle John, but his attitude about her relationship with Adam was starting to chafe.

"Not really my style Joss. I prefer committed relationships where I get to know my woman...thoroughly."

His seductive tone was doing funny things to her insides, so was the thought of his relationship with Zoe being more serious than she thought. Suddenly Joss regretted her decision to call him instead of going straight to bed.

"Did you have any particular friend in mind?" His husky murmur broke into her gloomy thoughts.

"Hmm? What was that?" She scrambled to steer the conversation back to a safer topic - something work related since that was why she had called.

"Who would you ask to be your 'special friend'?"

"I've got plenty of options John so don't worry, I won't ask you - I'm afraid you couldn't handle me anyway." Joss snuggled deeper into her covers and tried to play the whole thing off.

"You are definitely a handful Joss, but I assure you I am more than capable of handling anything you want to throw at me."

The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Care to test that theory smart ass?"

"Is that an offer?"

She screwed her eyes shut and lightly tapped the phone against her forehead. Yes it was an offer, but one she never intended to make out loud.

"Joss? You still there?"

Joss drew in a breath for focus and put the phone back to her ear. "Ye - yeah, I'm here. Um you…you wanted to talk about my recent cases?"

"Just when it was getting good," John moped on the other end of the line. "Maybe you are a tease after all."

She laughed distractedly, determined to keep them on topic this time. "What information did you get that led you to the 911 caller?"

Tension filtered through the line and it was John's turn to get quiet. If she didn't know him better she would say he was reluctant to share this bit of information with her.

"Finch was able to find the phone number that made the call to 911 that night and tipped off Reyes about Wetherby."

"That's wonderful," she interrupted. That bit of news boosted her flagging spirits, now they could finally start getting some answers.

"It is, but the number comes back to a batch of cell phones stolen a few years ago before they made it to the store."

"Oh. Maybe Finch could work his computer magic and trace the number…or we could just call it and see who answers."

"You're a woman after my own heart Carter," he chuckled. "Finch is working on finding any phone records he can; but I did call and leave a very polite message."

Classic John Reese, he always favored the direct approach. She could clearly picture the proud smirk he was likely wearing right now. "Get any nibbles yet?"

"Only one so far. We're wondering if it could be our old pals in HR."

"HR?" It wasn't completely outside the realm of possibilities, but why come after her now? She'd been working with the FBI on and off over the last few months to finish Donnelly's crusade; but all she had managed to do was take down a few lower level officers. SAIC Moss or one of the other agents closer to the investigation would be more believable targets if it was HR.

"Were you handling any cases recently involving them? Fusco mentioned you've done some work on the side with Moss."

Joss bristled at the censure she heard behind his words. She didn't owe him any explanation about her caseload or how she spent her off time - especially after he ran out on her.

"I have," she stated matter of factly. "A couple of weeks after Donnelly's…accident, Moss picked up the case against HR where he left off. He asked for my help so I did what could."

Truth be told she had jumped at the chance to work with the FBI task force again. It was the perfect distraction she needed to her keep busy so she wouldn't feel the loneliness quite as much.

"I provided him with some intel, testified at a handful of corruption trials and assisted with a number of high-profile arrests; but nothing lately. Moss had another more urgent case come across his desk around the same time I took time-off to chaperone for Taylor's field trip to Albany."

Joss cringed when she remembered how she had pathetically spent the first few days of the trip to the state capital looking over her shoulder, hoping to catch John sneaking up behind her, hoping he had noticed her absence and followed after her. She would have played along with any excuse he might have given her about being there at the same time as her son's social studies class. It wouldn't have mattered to her, she would have been happy to have him by her side even it was only for one day, to sight-see and discover a new city together like the other moms and dads on the trip.

But he never did show up so she finally stopped wishing for the impossible and threw herself into mom-mode, taking tons of pictures and video while trying to stay in the background so as not to embarrass Taylor. Joss had ended up enjoying the week away despite her disappointment.

"You were gone eight days," John spoke quietly.

"Didn't think you'd noticed," she said just as softly.

"I did Joss. I've noticed everything about you since the night we first met." Her heart tripped over itself in the heavy silence that followed John's revelation. It spoke volumes about his seemingly indifferent attitude back then; and while she melted at his words the damage had been done.

Joss tugged her well-worn body pillow under throbbing right hip and swallowed hard before continuing. "I'd been back from Albany for less than a week when all of this happened."

Her gaze flickered to the digital camera lying on top of her dresser in a shaft of moonlight. Taylor's teacher had granted him an extension, but his report about the field trip was due next Monday. Tomorrow while he was at school she'd sort through the pictures she'd taken and print out a few for him to include in his paper.

Joss flinched when she heard the heater rumble to life down the hall, its warmth slipping past the baseboards to slowly infiltrate her drafty bedroom. Usually she wasn't bothered by the noises her apartment made as it settled during the night, but the events of the last few weeks had left her unnerved. At night her fears weighed on her the heaviest, keeping her awake and disturbing what little sleep she was getting.

It would be wonderful to have a warm, solid man - well one in particular - in her bed at night to cuddle with and make love to, someone who would hold her and reassure her that the bumps and clangs she heard throughout the night were only her imagination, not a lock being picked or footsteps in the hall. She drew the blanket over one shoulder and wished she was brave enough to ask John to come over.

"Are the nightmares still keeping you up Joss?"

"Some nights," she freely admitted. Although they weren't dreams now, more like flashes of a movie she didn't remember starring in. Most recently she had been startled awake by a pair of cold grey eyes and a heavily accented voice grating against her ears: "You should have heeded our first warning Detective".

Whose warning he was delivering she still didn't know, but the memory sent chills up her spine. Joss was confident she could identify him by his voice alone if she had to, but what stood out even more was the uneven scar on his right cheek bone - a feature that came out in her dream Saturday night, one shared by the janitor at the hospital and the drunk driver.

At first she was worried she was losing her mind, seeing the connection she wanted to; but the more she thought about it the more convinced Joss became that they were indeed the same man.

The realization terrified her. Whoever wanted her dead was still out there and would continue to try, yet she had no idea who to be on the lookout for or when and where they would strike next.


"I'd been back from Albany for less than a week when all of this happened."

That had been one of the longest eight-day stretches of his life.

John had planned on shadowing the field trip - well a certain chaperone on the field trip - and even went as far as booking the hotel room next to Carter. His hope was that once they were outside of New York City, in a place without memories around every corner, they could talk and repair the damage done over the last several weeks.

The numbers had been steady, but he was ready to slip out of town for a day or two when the first opportunity presented itself. Unfortunately no such opportunity came and he ended up staying in the city to rescue a teenage run away and bring down an elderly arms dealer's network. He had spent the entire week brooding, pining, and snapping at Finch and Fusco over every little thing.

Perhaps if he had been able to spend time with her in Albany things would have been different when she came back to the New York. Maybe she wouldn't have gone back to work that night.

"Are the nightmares still keeping you up Joss?" John knew bad dreams continued to plague her same as him. He wanted nothing more than to be with her and hold her until she realized she was safe with him - which would be difficult considering Joss was keeping him at arm's length now.

"Some nights."

The soft admission nearly killed him. He had never felt more helpless in his life than he did at that moment. The best thing he could do for her now would be to catch these bastards and put them in the ground soon.

"John." The slight tremor in her voice was enough to rouse his protective instincts. "I'm scared."

"Joss what's wrong?" The dark sheets slid down his bare chest as he bolted upright in bed, straining to hear any sign of what had frightened her. "Are you okay?"

He didn't wait for her to answer, just grabbed a pair of jeans from the dresser along with his SIG and motorcycle keys. John pulled on the first shirt he could reach all the while kicking himself for not staying for dinner when she had invited him to earlier.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm fine - promise. It's just…" Another wobbly sigh reached his ears. "…with everything that's happened lately I'm starting to wonder if this is really over."

He sank back on the bed rubbed a hand over his face, hoping that would smother his groan of frustration. Going over there - no matter how much he wanted to - was not a good idea, not if he planned to maintain any sense of control at all. Yet Joss needed to know he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

"We'll find him Joss, you have my word." John had the same doubts, but he didn't want to say anything that might frighten her further.

"We will, it's just I keep seeing the man who shot me everywhere - even when I close my eyes. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear he was the drunk driver who almost ran me over Saturday night, the man at the hospital -"

"What man at the hospital?" he rasped. Never once in all their conversations since she'd returned home had Joss mentioned an incident at the hospital. "What man Joss?"

"He worked there as a janitor, his first day on the job actually. When I snuck out that last night I went down to the weight room to run through my physical therapy exercises, but I ended up over doing it. Before Glenda found me this guy came in to clean up."

John pounded a fist against his thigh thinking about that last night at New York Presbyterian. In his relief at finding her he had not asked where she had disappeared to or what had happened; and interestingly enough Joss never volunteered that information.

"Did he hurt you?" The list of men he would kill for touching her was growing longer every day.

"No, not really." John's attention zeroed in on her hesitation. "He just scared me a little."

"How?"

"There was something off about him, nothing specific I could put my finger on, more like a bad feeling. I wasn't comfortable around him."

"Tell me what happened Joss." He ground the words out between clenched teeth, adding his lack of follow-up to the long list of regrets from that night.

"I had gotten dizzy during my workout and was taking a breather when he came in to clean up. I stood to get out of the way and head back to my room, but lost my balance."

John remembered all too well how unsteady she had been when he came across Glenda practically dragging her through the hallway. A sharp reprimand itched for release, but he waited for her to finish.

"He caught me, saved me from falling on my face; but once the dizziness had passed he kept holding on to me. I pushed back, but he wouldn't let me go. Luckily Glenda showed up a few minutes later."

John was thankful indeed for Glenda's timing, however a NYP janitor's luck had just run out. Hopefully the hospital had a doctor on staff that could sew the man's arms back on after he ripped them off.

"Why didn't you tell me that night Carter?" He would have torn the hospital apart brick by brick until he found the pervert.

"I meant to, but it didn't seem important at the time - not with everything else that was going on."

It was important then, and damn sure important now. Finding this man just moved to the top of his to-do list.

"Can you describe him?" Hospital security tapes would give him a clear picture, but he wanted to hear it from Joss first.

She blew out a tense breath. "He was tall, about 6'3", solid build - I would guess about 220 pounds with light grey eyes and a scar that ran across his right cheekbone…just like the drunk Saturday night and the man who shot me."

John's heart pounded harder in his chest with each detail. These supposedly isolated incidents had to be connected to her attack. He didn't believe in coincidences and couldn't think of any other plausible explanation.

"You don't think I'm losing my mind do you John?" Her voice caught on his name and Reese swore he heard her sniffle back tears.

"No angel, you're not losing your mind. I'll have Finch pull the security footage from that night and look in to it. We're going to find this guy and figure out what's going on."

"Thank you." He felt her relief in those two simple words. There was more he could do, wanted to do, if she would only let him. A plan began to form in his mind, something he would mention to her after he ironed out a few details. Until then…

"Anything else you need to tell me Joss?"


"Anything else you need to tell me Joss?"

Damn. His raspy steel voice was soothing, sexy, yet all business. The comfort that came with sharing those memories was muddied by the guilt of other incidents she was leaving out.

"Anything else? No, not unless you need to know about your girlfriend stopping by to blackmail me into pushing you away. Oh and how I almost made a fool out of myself by calling out your name while kissing another man."

Yeah that would go over well. She might as well start packing for prison now if she mentioned Zoe's visit tonight. Still a large part of her wanted to warn him about what he was getting himself in to; but any attempt on her part would just lead to more questions, ones she didn't want to answer.

The best thing to do was enjoy this closeness for now and find a way to put John in her past, in the 'strictly friends' category - like she had planned on doing before Zoe made her threats.

"Joss?"

"Uh no that's all," she replied around a slight yawn. Despite her intention of staying awake to sort through events of the last twenty-four hours, drowsiness was creeping up on her. She was in her own bed safe and warm. The only thing that could make it better would be to have John lying next to her, his solid body wrapped protectively around hers.

"Am I keeping you up?" It wasn't hard to imagine the smile she could hear in his voice, his anger apparently forgotten for the moment.

"Not at all." Joss was having a hard time keeping her eyes open, but she wasn't ready to let him go yet. She wanted to stay in this moment for a while longer where it was just the two of them, no other lovers, exes, friends, threats or cases. Just John and Joss. Like the old days. "I'm just getting comfortable."

"Anything I can do to help Detective?"

The offer was downright sinful and had her kicking off the bed covers to let cool air breeze across her overheating skin.

"You're the authority on pleasing women apparently," she retorted on impulse. "You tell me John."

"Well in my expert opinion, something relaxing is in order. We should start with a massage to ease all the tightness out of your muscles. I couldn't help but notice how tense you were when I touched you earlier."

Joss gave up any attempt at controlling their flirty banter and let go with him one last time.

"Yeah well unless you can do that through the phone we're at a stalemate. So much for your 'expert opinion' mister."

"I can be there in less than ten minutes Joss," he volunteered in that low voice that always rendered her defenseless.

As usual her heart responded with a resounding yes; but the danger of embarrassing herself in front of him was too real.

"That sounds heavenly, but I'm afraid I can't stay up too late. I have carpool duty tomorrow morning before my physical therapy appointment."

"Maybe there's another solution - one that's not nearly as satisfying, but would do for now." The barely restrained desire she heard on the other end of the line had her shivering with anticipation.

"Hmm, what would that be? A rain check that you can conveniently forget about later when I try to cash it?" she teased, hoping to distract them both from where this discussion was inevitably headed.

"I would never forget a promise to you, and I certainly would never deny you anything that is in my power to give…no what I have in mind is the next best thing; but first I need you to tell me what you're wearing."

That dragged a startled laugh out of her. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It will help me create a more authentic, pleasurable, experience for us. So don't be shy, feel free to go into detail."

For an instant she balked at the idea, only this time it was over how much she wanted to keep this conversation going. She felt no discomfort or awkwardness like she had earlier when Adam asked her the same question.

Joss thought about lying, describing her frumpy flannel pajamas, but what would it hurt this one last time? They were taking things this far, so she might as well tell the truth. There would be plenty of time for regrets tomorrow morning, right now this just felt too damn good.

"Well it's nothing too exciting, just a little pink nightgown - silky with tiny white hearts all over it and thin spaghetti straps. I don't wear it too often because it's almost see through and barely reaches mid-thigh; but it's got the cutest little ties that lace up the sides."

She told herself that her decision to wear the hot-pink nightie was because it was new, comfortable, and the first thing she pulled out of her dresser. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she would be calling John.

"I assume there are matching panties?"

A wicked smile tilted her lips. "Nope, went without tonight."

John was quiet for a moment, breathing heavily into the receiver; and Joss feared she had gone too far, then he cleared his throat. "I think I've got the picture. Hair up or down Joss?"

She had left her hair twisted up in sloppy bun after her bath and a few loose strands were escaping to curl against her nape.

"Up. Just got out of the tub before I called you."

"Fuck," John swore under his breath. "Did you use the rose scented bath oil this time?"

"No I - wait how did you -"

Why did she even bother to ask? John always knew somehow. If she didn't trust as much as she did, Joss would swear he and Finch had bugged her apartment. Of course it helped that John had gone over every square inch with her one Saturday afternoon shortly after they started working together, just to put her suspicions to rest.

"I decided to spice things up and try a new one tonight…reminds me of peaches and honey." The slow exhale on the other end made her smile.

"Damn. All helpful information. Now what uh, what hurts the most?"

Joss wasn't courageous enough to tell him the truth, so she started with the third most aching part of her. "That would be my neck and shoulders."

"Excellent place to start. I was going to suggest that actually."

"Sure you were," she laughed nervously.

"I was, now no more back-talk or you'll ruin the moment."

"Yes sir, I'll be a good girl." She did her best to sound contrite, but even to her own ears the words held a more sensual note.

"I didn't say that Joss…You know what, never mind. The first thing I need you to do is push your nightgown straps off your shoulders. As sexy as they are, can't have them getting in the way."

Her hand obeyed his smooth instructions without a second thought, letting the silky ties fall gently against her upper arms.

"Close your eyes and lean back against your pillows, but I want you to imagine it's me behind you, my arms around you."

Hell, he shouldn't have said that. Her mind conjured up a naked John Reese at her back, his large hands skimming down her sides to her thighs where he teased the hem of her gown. The sigh she heard must have been hers, and Joss bit her lips to keep from moaning his name.

"That's it. Relax, let me take your weight."

Instinctively she snuggled into the pillows at her back, but they were a poor substitute for what she really craved.

"Now take your right hand and with your second and third fingers, apply gentle pressure in a circular motion to the muscles at the base of your neck on the left side."

Again Joss did as she was told, kneading a particularly sore spot; but she barely noticed the relief it brought. She was too distracted with thoughts of other things they would be doing if he were really there in her bed.

"You know this would feel so much better if I were there with you."She smiled at his deep, gravelly echo her own thoughts.

"Uh-huh," was all the response she could come up with.

"Just say the word Joss and I'll be there."

"John," she whimpered. The dampness between her legs grew into an intense ache that would not let her run away any longer.

"What is it baby?" he murmured. "Tell me what you want."

"You." She wanted John there with her, wanted his hands on her body with his lips following after. More than that she wanted his heart, his love; but that wasn't possible so she needed to put a stop to this before it went to far - deciding to ignore the signs that it already had.

Joss gave a noncommittal groan. "I don't know." she gasped.

"Yes you do, tell me," he urged. John sounded as aroused as she felt. "I know what I want."

"Haven't you heard the saying 'you can't always get what you want' John?" It was a pathetic last-ditch effort to save her sanity and stop this madness.

"Yes, but that doesn't apply to us…especially when we both want the same thing."

They did, but she wanted more than just one night of hot sex.

"I need to see you tonight Joss, to talk and -" he sighed heavily. "Please, let me come over. Like you said Taylor will never know, and I can be gone before he wakes up in the morning if you want me to."

"Okay" was on the tip of her tongue still she hesitated. She couldn't face him, not tonight, not with her emotions so close to the surface. If they were alone it would only take one look from him, one touch and they would all spill out.

Not to mention this felt too close to cheating for her comfort. If only things could be different, but they weren't.

"That's not a good idea," came out instead. "It's too late John." In more ways than one.

"Joss," he groaned in frustration. "Don't say that. We both know that something has changed, things are different between us now."

"I'm going to get some sleep John. You'll call if Harold comes up with anything?"

"I'll call regardless." John was going to let her hide tonight; but the determination in his voice told her that free pass would end soon. "Goodnight Joss…if you need me…"

"Night John," she whispered before flipping the phone shut. She stared at it for a long moment before tossing it on the nightstand and curling under the covers - nightgown straps cutting into her biceps as she cried herself to sleep.


I've had this chapter ready for a little over a week, but the last couple of episodes really took the wind out of my sails :( I still don't see why Joss had to die. There are so many other ways that story could have been resolved that would have been just as "dramatic" and shocking. Hopefully they will find a way to bring her back, the show won't be the same without Joss AND John.

In the meantime, thank you all so much for your beautiful reviews. You continue to blow me away with your overwhelming response to this story. Each and every one encourage me to keep my story going. I've got Friday off this week so that will give me plenty of time to shape up chapter 10 (where something happens that you've all been waiting for!)and hopefully post chapter 1/2 of a story that is an alternate ending for 'The Crossing'.

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! - Meli