Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls
"I don't understand. I thought our contracts were locked, regardless of the fact that they were acqu-" I stopped mid-sentence.
The flashing Instant Message from Patrick caught my attention. There's a chick here...Loreali Hayden? Gilmore? Rory? Ring any bells? Psycho-stalker? Should I call security?
Holy Shit! She's here, outside my office. Then it hit me...my body hummed, I could feel her. Before I could second guess myself, I was in motion. I think I even knocked my chair over. But I didn't care. I grabbed the handle of the door and swung it open wildly. She jumped from the sound. I paused to take her in, what I could see of her. Her face was as beautiful as ever. I rushed towards her, ready to scoop her into my arms.
Fuck.
I stopped abruptly. I was definitely closer than was socially acceptable, but whatever.
She probably won't appreciate you wrapping her up in a bear hug and never letting go.
We locked eyes and just stared.
She's really here. Why is she here? Wait? Where is Landon? Is he okay?
I frantically looked around, like she had him hidden behind the wall.
"Is Landon okay? Are you okay? What's wrong?"
A small smile spread across her face. She slowly nodded and stood, "Yeah, yeah. He's okay."
I felt my body immediately relax at her words. But then tensed again as a frown took over her features and she tilted her head and then pointed towards her ear.
Huh?
I tilted my head in confusion.
"You're on a call," she mouthed.
Huh? What?
Then I suddenly noticed frantic voices calling my name in my ear.
What the hell? Oh, shit I'm still on the call!
"Oh, oh shit. Excuse me, um we're going to have to reschedule. Emergency. I have to go. Thank you. Bye." I didn't wait for a reply and just ended the call.
"You didn't have to do that, I would have waited." She said in a soft whisper.
"No it's okay. I'll deal with it later. Why are you here? Where's Landon?"
The smile came back to her face as she responded.
"He's alright. But I was hoping to have this conversation with you, ahem, in private, without an audience." She said, jutting her chin, pointing to something behind me. I looked over my shoulder and for the first time remembered that Patrick and Amy were still here.
Ooohh.
"Oh, oh, of course. Hm, let me just get my things." I said as I turned my attention back to her.
"Oh no, no. We don't have to leave. It will be quick, no worries."
I grimaced at her words. Oh. She's not staying? She's leaving already?
What the fuck did you expect? Don't be a beggar...this is better than nothing.
Ugh, okay okay I'll take what I can get...for now.
My shoulders sagged in disappointment and I nodded my head towards the door to my office. "Hm, okay let's go talk in here then."
She nodded her head, turned around, and started to gather her things. I couldn't help but stare and appreciate the way she filled out her grey wool pencil skirt and the sway of her hips as she made her way toward my office with me following slowly behind her. A throat clearing broke me out of my ogling and I snapped my eyes towards Patrick.
Fuck. I keep forgetting he's here.
"Ahem, you guys should go. It's late. Have a good weekend. See you on Monday." I instructed. I didn't wait for a reply from them either. I had more important things to do than be polite. I'll apologize later.
oOo
"So, Landon asked about you. He figured out who you are and what you are too him." Alrighty then, okay I guess we were getting right to it.
I had just barely closed the door.
She continued, "He saw your box…your boyfriend box. And after seeing you at Liv's show, then the article, he put everything together. He's really smart. Sometimes too smart. And apparently nosey too. He'd make a great reporter. He asked if you didn't like him. I didn't know what to say. So I just said you didn't know him, which technically isn't lying. Cause you don't. But do you want to? He wants to know."
"I want to know him." I interjected, but she didn't hear me since she continued talking.
"I know what you said before, and with everything tha-," she cut her self off and huffed. I opened my mouth to speak but she continued, "but I always said if he wanted to know who you were, I'd give him the chance to reach out to you. But I didn't think it would happen for another twenty years and since he obviously can't come here on his own, I had to ask for him. Trust me, this is the las-."
"I want to know him." I interjected again, louder, more firmly, so she'd hear me over her rambling.
Her eyes grew wide and she let out a long breath, "Wow. Wow. Five words. Five. I ne- I never thought I'd hear. I mean I hoped. I hoped. For Landon. Of course. But wow. Hm, okay, I need to sit down."
She looked so overwhelmed and confused, my heart clenched for her.
"Come on, have a seat. I'll get you a glass of water." I said, leading her by her arm toward the sofa. The feel of her arm under my fingers sent shockwaves throughout my body. I was elated to have her near me again.
I want my family. I want my family.
I felt her shudder and hoped it was for the same reason and not that she was repulsed by my touch. I walked to my fridge to grab two bottles of water, but stopped short. Wait, was I seriously about to give Rory Gilmore a bottle of water? I was already messing up. No water. Coffee. I needed to find coffee.
"Hm, actually we have some coffee in the reception area, let me go get you a cup or four." I offered as I made my way toward the door.
"Um, thanks that would be really awesome. I could really use some." She said with a timid smile, a little bit more visibly relaxed now that there was promise of her elixir. "I'll come with you."
"Hm, no it's okay. Stay here, I'll be back in two seconds. "
She simply nodded her head, leaned back on the sofa, and closed her eyes, taking in deep breaths.
oOo
"Oh Amy, thank god your still here."
"Hm, sir. Yes. How may I help you?"
"Hm, I need coffee. Like stat."
"Oh, okay. What flavor?" She asked as she took keys out of her drawer and walked toward the closet.
"No, no flavor. Just plain coffee."
I watched as she revealed a closet with shelves filled with snacks, mugs, a small fridge and a Kuerig coffee maker.
Aahh, one of the best inventions, ever.
"Oh! K-cups I love those! Best invention ever!" I heard from behind me.
I smiled wide at Rory's enthusiasm.
"I was thinking the exact same thing. Is there any blend you want specifically?"
I waved at the vast array of choices like a game show host and smiled brightly as she stepped closer to inspect our collection.
"Wow! Dallis Brothers?" She exclaimed, taking notice of the box with the blue label. "I haven't had any in years." She said quietly, casting her eyes down to the floor.
We discovered Dallis Brothers during a trip to New York and she immediately fell in love. She said it was the closest thing she could ever get to Luke's coffee. So naturally we bought it in bulk. I might have also bought a stake in the company. But I haven't had any personally in years. Whenever they sent me anything, I usually just gave it away...it hurt too much.
"Oh, sorry sir. Hm, I know you don't like that brand. But hm, hm Patrick and I like to keep a box here in the office. I'm sorry, sir." Amy immediately apologized. Poor girl looked like she was ready to cry.
Fuck. I guess Patrick warned her about the shit fit I had when one of the other interns brewed a cup from a gift basket once and sent me into slight rage. It was slight. It was around Rory's birthday. I might have made the dude run away crying. Fuck.
"Ahem, It's alright, Amy. No harm, no foul." I said, trying to ease her fears. "Can you just please make us a couple of cups of whatever Rory wants, and bring it into my office."
"Of course, sir. Hm, what would you like Miss?"
"Oh, please call me Lei-, I mean Loreali. It's alright, I can do it. I have the same one at my office, but thank you." She said, grabbing a mug from the shelf, putting it under the spout to begin brewing the coffee. I watched as she stood preparing two cups to her specifications. I was surprised when she walked up to me, giving me one of the cups in her hands. I brought the cup to my nose. I couldn't help inhaling the familiar scent of the Dallis brew and Rory. It was the smell of home to me. I closed my eyes as an onslaught of memories came to the forefront of my mind. Memories of us at the loft, the Vineyard, London, Yale…just memories of us. I opened my eyes and met with the tear filled celestial blues eyes of my love. She took a ragged breath and blinked. The tears were gone. But I had seen them. They gave me a smidge of hope that maybe, just maybe, she was missing US too.
oOo
Once again, Rory was the first to speak as soon as the doors were closed. We were seated at opposite sides of the coffee table, her on the couch, me on a chair across from her.
"Look, I want to apologize for how everything happened."
Is she seriously apologizing to ME?
I opened my mouth to cut her off and interject but she shook her head and kept going.
"I did what I did. There's no excuse for it. I know that. I should- I shouldn't have been so childish and just run away like that. I'm really sorry about that. I'm saying this now because I honestly don't want to rehash the past. Can we just leave it at that? What is most important to me is if you want to be a part of Landon's life? I assume since you guys have been trying to recruit McRae London branch's best family lawyer you were going to try to do something."
"How the fuck do you guys find out information like this?" I asked stunned.
This is suppose to be proprietary information, what the fuck.
She just shook her head and chuckled quietly.
"It's all Mase, he's just connected like that. I really don't know how. I learned a long time ago to just accept the information."
"Fucking Masen, of course." I muttered under my breath.
But based on the quirked eyebrow, I could tell she'd still heard it.
Shit.
"Ahem, look Ac- Rory, I'm sorry too." She opened her mouth to cut me off but it was my turn to shake my head and keep going.
"I get it. You don't want to talk about our past. But I think we will need to..." She opened her mouth to interrupt again "eventually, Ace. Eventually. Not tonight."
She nodded her head in acquiescence.
"Regardless, I want you to know that I want to be a part of both of your lives in whatever capacity you'll let me." I made sure I put emphasize the both part.
"Hhmm, well I need you to be sure Logan."
"I am sure."
"You need more than five seconds to be sure. This is a big deal, Logan. Every kid deserves to know their father, especially little boys. I know that. But I need you to be sure. Cause if you do it, you'd better be prepared to give him your all. None of that half ass bull. Or changing your mind. If you're going to be a part of his life, you need to be all in."
"I'm all in."
She sighed deeply. "Think about it more. Be sure Logan. You can't turn back."
"I'm sure."
"Sleep on it, at least. Please. Talk about it with your family. You lot need to talk about how this would effect you. Do they know?"
"We've talked about it. They know. They're all in too."
"Hmm...You talked about it with all of them? Not just Honor?" I chuckled at her bewildered expression. I'm sure she wasn't expecting that.
"Yes, all of us. My parents, my grandfather, Honor, Josh, Colin, Finn, Steph, and Rose. They are all excited about having you both in our lives. Honor can't wait to see you. She's chomping at the bit to see you both and have a cousin for Helen." Again, I made sure to emphasize the both part.
"Okay. Hm, just please, At least sleep on it."
"Ace, I've had a five years to think about it." She opened her mouth again, I was sure to object. "Okay, maybe officially a week or so. But over the past five years, I've thought of nothing but what it would have been like...to-to have a child with you." Fuck. My voice faltered due to pain, guilt, and regret. "And now that I know that it is possible. That it is true. I will do anything for us to be a family. I cou-could never apologize enough for saying that shit." She started to shake her head frantically and her face crunched up in pain. I made a move to get up so I could comfort her but she recoiled and sank deeper into the sofa. My heart broke at her pain and from the fact she didn't even want me near her.
"You said we-we wouldn't." She let out a shaky breath. I could instantly feel the distance and walls she was steeling around her.
Crap, why did I have to go there.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't. But I just want you to know I'm sure." My voice was strong and confident even though my emotions were warring inside.
"Don't. Not tonight, Logan. Please. Think about it some more, please." She begged.
Then it finally clicked. She needed this for herself. She needed the reassurance that I gave being a father some thought.
I'll give her that. I'll give her tonight.
"Okay," I agreed softly.
With a nod and a deep breath I watched as she composed herself.
"Ahem, okay, well I won't keep you any longer," she reached for her purse and pulled out what appeared to be a lean, black scrapbook or portfolio. She took an audible breath.
"Um, my mom made me make two of these...in case you ever...you know. If you didn't, I would have just given it to Landon." She said as she slid the album across the coffee able.
I opened it slowly. My heart clenched and tears sprang to my eyes. The first page was a smaller version of the picture from the art show that I now realized was Rory. It was the silhouette of Rory's pregnant form in profile. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The next page was a sonogram picture. It was Landon. Though I didn't think it was possible...my heart broke more. I thought again of all the things I had missed and would never get to experience with her…with him.
"Ahem, I..I put my card in the um back...um just call me when you're ready. We'll be here at least for the weekend." Her voice was low but filled with emotions I didn't want to place just yet.
I nodded but kept my head down. It took everything in me to not shout, 'I'm ready now!'. Or to break down. Or both.
"Ahem, where are you guys staying? In the city?"
"No, we're in Hartford with my parents."
I nodded again.
"Ahem, okay well good night." She said, as she gathered her things and got up.
I quickly reached for her coat and held it out for her so I could help her put it on. A familiar gesture, one I've done countless times before. I couldn't help but take in a deep breath of her. Creepy! I know, I know. But fuck, she smells like home. I need it. I need it to fill me until I can be home. With my family.
I watched her shoulders rise as she took in a deep breath. She whispered a thanks so low it was hard for me to catch it. Then she stepped away from me.
I closed my eyes to the tears that threatened to spill. I couldn't watch her leave, it was too much.
"Tell Honor I said Happy Birthday."
I snapped my eyes open to see her standing by the door, looking at me over her shoulder with a slight smile on her beautiful face, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"She'll be happy to hear that. She misses you. We all- I miss you." I said the last part softly, my head down, but I knew she heard.
"Have a good night Logan. I'll speak to you soon."
The door clicked shut.
In. Out. Deep breaths.
I was going to make sure that soon would be very soon.
Thank, thank you reading and big thanks to everyone who puts this on their favorites, story alerts and reviews.
And HUGE thanks to Kitty J for being awesome, her grammar lessons, making this chapter readable and helping me find my past-tense, forreal. HUGS.
Kuerig single cup coffee makers...BEST INVENTION EVER...I can't boast enough about it. It is an essential in my life.
Dallis Bros. makes yummy yummy coffee but they don't make K-cups...yet (but I'm trying to convince them), but I figured if you were Logan Huntzberger they'd make it for you...
Till next time...
