A/N: In the first chapter, I laid down three rules for this story. 1: No swearing, unless it is in character and the character has sworn before. 2: I will not drag Pixar into this rampant destruction of your childhood icons. And 3: There will be no sex scenes, just innuendo. Technically, this chapter doesn't break the third rule, but it comes close, so any of you squeamish might not want to read onward. This chapter does not in any way reflect upon any of the author's fetishes.

Now, as for Alice, I had some trouble deciding what to do with her. After all, there are two canon Alice movies. However, I decided that both movies were compatable. It explicitly said in the second movie that Alice had been to Wonderland before. On the topic of changes between character images in the two movies (particularly, the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts) they are devils. They can change their appearance at will.


Alright then. I wash my hands of this wierdness.


Robin and Steve were marched into a small town. The buildings looked like they used to be bright, but as they were, flying the Nazi flag, they seemed drab and depressing.

The ninjas pulled them into an alley. Robin smiled as he saw a golden glint in the corner of his eye.

Crunch

The remaining ninja and his captives looked behind them. The other ninja had bite marks covering his chest, and his entire upper body was crushed.

"Wha…" Suddenly, the other ninja was lifted off his feet and hurled into the side of the alley with a resounding crack.

There was a shining blue light, and a monster emerged from it. It was neither a fish, nor a mammal, but some horrible amalgamation of the two. It had the head of a camel, the slender neck of a crocodile, monstrous lion paws, and a pair of tiny bat wings. Its stomach was huge, and it smelled horribly, like burnt apples.

"Rarrrrr, kn kn kn kn kn." The dragon muttered, with an impressively goofy smile for something so ferocious.

"It's a d-d-d-d-dragon." Steve said. He'd never stuttered before in his life.

Robin felt Trouble gnawing at the rope tying his hands together. He pulled them apart, the rope snapping. "Well, this is new. I've never met a dragon before." He began to untie Steve. "Don't panic Steve, this dragon just saved our lives. I don't think he wants to eat you."

"Yeah, yeah you're right." Steve suddenly realized that he was taking orders from somebody under recruitment age. "Why are you so calm?"

"I'm used to strange creatures." Robin said. "I've never seen a dragon before, but my dad runs and asylum for unusual animals."

"Unusual like Trouble?" Steve asked.

The fox looked up at him. "Yes." It said. "Unusual like Trouble."

Steve very nearly fainted on the spot.

"Trouble is the son of a hound dog and a vixen." Robin said. "And yes, he can talk. Still, a dragon. That's impressive. Where did you find him Trouble?"

"He found me." Trouble said. "His name is Elliot. He said he was taking care of a girl, but she was taken by Nazis. He's tried to rescue her, but he's too big to get into the place where she's being kept. In exchange for rescuing you, he wants you to rescue her."

The trio looked at Elliot, who was looking at them expectantly.

"Alright." Robin said. "I'll do it."

Steve shook his head. "I won't."

The dragon sniffed, and Robin turned to his new friend. "You won't?"

"I'm a brave man, but this is too surreal for me." Steve said. "I have to get out of Maldonia while the Nazis are still focused on taking it. I joined the army to protect my country, and I can't do that while I'm on dragon quests."

"I understand." Robin said. "Don't worry about it."

Steve was torn. The look on Robin's face said that he truly understood why he wanted to run, and didn't blame him in the least. How on earth could he desert somebody like that?

"Alright then." He said. "I wash my hands of this weirdness."

He left Robin and the talking animals before he could change his mind. He didn't look back.


Getting inside was the easy part. Their headquarters was essentially a boarding school, and they hadn't gotten around to making it a true fortress yet. All he had to do was climb a tree and snaek in through one of the higher windows.

The hard part was walking around in the corridors unnoticed. It was a hustle of activity. He'd taken one of the ninja's costumes to get around in, but he became increasingly self conscious about his stature. How does a ninja walk? Are they supposed to be climbing in the rafters? Do they constantly slink around like shadows in the night?

His worst fears were confirmed, when one busy Nazi stopped by him in the hall. "Hey Shien, aren't you supposed to be in the field?"

Robin froze for a split second, then pushed him out the window. He looked around, and when it looked like nobody saw him, (or, possibly, ninjas killing people was a normal occurrence around here, how was he supposed to know?)he carried on at a quicker pace.

Elliot had informed him that the girl he was here to rescue was in the Headmaster's office. But according to Trouble, Elliot had no concept of 'giving directions' so he'd just have to do his best. Robin knew Trouble knew that Robin had no sense of direction either, and did stuff like this just to mess with him. After three girl's bathrooms and one basement sonar lab, he decided that he had to get a better sidekick. Or, possibly, just kill the one he had.

Five wrong turns, and five dead Nazis later (they stumbled onto him when he was climbing out of the janitorial closet. First time he'd ever killed anybody with a mop) he was finally in front of a door with the shiny plaque that said; Headmaster's Office.

The inside was lavishly decorated, but it seemed worn somehow. Like somebody had decided being surrounded in luxury was so important that they had to haul the luxury across countries with them. There was a cheetah skin rug, and some cracked Greek vases. But no girl.

Robin opened the window. Elliot peered in, muttered something and pointed to… the bed.

Robin pulled the silk curtains back. The girl was chained to the bedposts. She was covered in bruises, and only wearing black lace.

She screamed through her gag when she saw him, and tried desperately to pull away. "No, no it's okay." Robin pulled his mask off. "I'm not with the Nazis, I swear. Elliot sent me to rescue you."

She stopped squirming, but she kept her eyes on him, fearfully. They were red from crying. Robin ground his teeth angrily, even though his parents told him never to do that, and moved over to look at her shackles. Realizing that searching for a key would take time, time that he did not have because he wanted to get this girl to safety NOW, he instead kicked at the bedposts until they broke off.

She ran to the window, and embraced Elliot's outstretched neck. Tears ran down both of their cheeks, and Elliot gently broke the handcuffs off.

Robin rummaged through the drawers and came up with a Nazi uniform far too big to belong to anything human, and draped it over the little girl. "Thank you." She said, her eyes saying that 'thank you' wasn't nearly enough. Robin helped lift her out through the window, onto Elliot's back.

Robin tried to follow, but the window was narrow. Halfway through trying to wriggle out, the door to the room opened.

Robin just had time to pull the curtains over the window, before two little girls and a pair of Nazis walked into the room.

"And I think I can isolate it." The red-headed girl said. "I honestly think I can isolate the part of the brain that holds people's evil thoughts."

"And then Anna?" The blonde girl moved over to the window. Robin hurriedly moved off to the side as she pulled the windows open. All she would need to do is look to her right and he'd be caught…

"And then I could do anything Alice." Anna smiled. "Dr. Dementor's been teaching me how to conquer the world. I think it sounds fun."

Alice smiled faintly. "Anna, I have a job for you."

Anna waited expectantly.

"Summon the Huntsmen." She turned away from the window (Robin exhaled in relief as she turned left) and gave a smile so wide that her cheeks disappeared. "There is an invisible dragon in the courtyard."

Robin's blood ran chill. Just the opposite seemed to happen to Anna. "A dragon?" She squeeled. "Can I…?"

"Maleficent's standing orders." Alice said. "Go ahead."

Anna eagerly hurried out of the room, followed by the pair of Nazi guards.

There was silence.

It was unbearable. Robin held his breath, mentally begging her to leave. He had to leave too, to save Elliot, and the girl, from whatever Anna had in store for them.

But Alice just walked over to a wall. She took the cover off of what Robin had assumed to be a painting, and instead revealed a mirror. And what a mirror! Alice's reflection was a stormcloud. A dark thunderous mass, with flashes of lightning accentuating the wide grin it bore. There was no lips, no gums, no mouth, just a set of pearly wide teeth set in an evil grin.

Robin couldn't help but shudder.

Alice looked at her reflection. "Alone at last." She sighed.

She picked up the ornate mirror and threw it onto the ground. Robin winced, convinced that the ancient looking mirror would shatter, but it didn't even bounce.

Alice started up a phonograph and music began to play. She climbed on top of the mirror, smiling her disturbing smile.

Mirror, mirror, on the ground,

Mirror, mirror, smooth and round,

Mirror, tell me all you know,

That I may my evil fortunes sow

The Mirror shuddered.

I am not yours, that you may ask,

I cannot do this wicked task,

The future is not for you to see,

Now go away, get off of me.

Alice laughed then. She laughed a wicked, evil laugh, that bespoke of knowledge beyond mortal ken, of total control and total chaos working in tandem terror. Her fingers lightly stroked the glass, and cracks ran along its surface.

Mirror dear, do not test me,

I want a peek, so I will see.

Mirror mirror, you will tell me

What is to be my destiny!

Robin winced as the mirror cried out in pain. The cracks in the glass seemed to glow with unearthly light. This time the mirror answered, though it sounded like it was in pain.

In twenty months precisely,

The planets will align, ever so nicely

And the time to ask will be at hand,

To become the White Queen of Underland!

Alice moaned and stretched on top of the mirror like a cat. She licked the mirror passionately like it was covered in sugar, moaning with pleasure.

Mirror, mirror, tell me true,

Of the things I ask of you.

How do I become the Queen?

And what can stop my plan reign?

Tendrils of magic light emerged from the cracks in the mirror, gently stroking Alice. Alice's hair rose and blew around her face, as her lips made a small 'o'.

Your plan requires just two things, to come to full fruition;

A Devil, like no one's ever seen, a dark abomination!

"Yes…" Alice moaned. "Yesssss!"

Seek the child from Neverland to turn him down dark paths,

For he shall have a power, that no other Devil hath.

Alice began swaying to the beat of the music, the mirror still cried out in pain, even as the magic flowing from it continued to brush against Alice's cheek.

And after that you need to find the seven golden flowers,

For only with their magic can you keep your newfound powers

"Yesss! Yes!" Alice cried in ecstacy.

And as for who can stop you and your dark and dreadfull plan;

Easy enough to answer; only seven people can.

The seven who will hold the keys to the Magic Kingdom;

A Pirate, a Princess, a Hero, a Thief, an Inventor, a Wizard, and a Star.

One of them will scowl and glower.

Two of them lived in a tower.

Three of them have magic power.

Four of them from death would cower.

Five will save the earth in an hour.

Six of them will have a magic flower.

And each their enemies devour.

"YESSSS!" Alice cried out in pleasure as the music reached its climax.

And they will come together though time and space divide,

The Seven of the Order and a fairy too beside.

And the Shadow Man will follow, and the Oracle will guide!

The phonograph stopped, and the mystic lights faded. Alice sighed with delight.

She straightened her hair and, almost reluctantly, got off of the mirror. Still breathing heavily, she placed the mirror on the wall, and wiped it clean with her apron. As her apron moved over it, even the cracks disappeared. On the outside it looked better than new, but it still felt… wrong. In a moment of horrible clarity, Robin realized the parallels between what he'd seen and what the girl had been through. With one final, horrible kiss, Alice draped the clothe back over the mirror.

"So, what did you think of that Absolom?"

A bright blue butterfly flew in through the open window, almost brushing against Robin's cheek. It alighted on Alice's finger. "Oh my." She smiled, and this time it was without any teeth. "Well, I hope he enjoyed the show. Come along." She left the room, with the butterfly still on her finger.

Robin peeked out of the curtains. He sighed with relief, and looked out of the window. Elliot was on the ground, hiding the girl in one of the utility vans, unaware from his vantage point of the several armored men sneaking towards him with nasty looking weapons. Robin spotted the red-head – Anna. She was carrying a particularly nasty looking saw.

"Elliot." Robin raced out of the room to warn him…

And fell flat on his face as something grabbed his ankles.

"Aaauggh!" He pried his face from the floor, suddenly realizing it was quite wet. He looked at his ankles, and saw that they were submerged into the carpet, as was the leopard skin rug.

"It's called a Persian Quick-rug." Said a frighteningly sweet and sugary voice.

Robin twisted his head around. Sitting right on the edge of the windowsill, where he had been standing moments before, was a girl with golden hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that knew more than you ever would.

"If you wouldn't mind, could you scream a little before you die? Screaming is like music to my ears."