Amazing. A chapter? Never thought I'd live to see it…

Yeah. It's been a while. And I'm a teensy, tinesy review away from 100 :D which is pretty cool. For me. :)

It's short. I wrote this in 30 minutes. It's barely 1,500, if even that.

Sigh.

And onwards with the mistery of the missing Cullens…

Oh, and as always, my censur apologeez fer anee spelleng errerz :D


I've been standing here for a while now.

Standing outside Edward's bedroom. The one with the gigantic, probably bullet proof window.

How unnecessary. They were out in the middle of nowhere, and still the Cullens needed to reassure themselves that nobody would be shooting at their precious little Edward.

I glared at the damp, wet ground which squished whenever I took a cautious step, trying not to get my feet tangled together over the root of a tree.

Stupid rooted trees.

I saw several small pebbles and was incredibly close to either laughing or rolling my eyes at myself as a very cliché idea came to me.

I picked one of the tiny rocks and juggled it between my hands for a moment, before proceeding to throw my arm back and launch it at his window. I was panting and breathing quite heavily once I finished, but to my dismay, all the pebble had done was give a little tap at his window, not loud enough for him to hear even if he was sitting at his desk or something.

I had been pretty much hoping that the stone would magically cut through the probablybulletproof glass and hit him in the head.

I mean, really, what gave him the right to all of a sudden ignore me? And what was going on with Jasper? Obviously his situation had some connection to it all.

What shocked me the most, was that Esme – adorable, sweet, motherly Esme– would be behind this whole thing. She hadn't seemed angry or anything. She'd just looked determined. Like she would go through with the whole, let's suddenly ignore Bella for no reason thing.

I picked up a bigger stone this time, putting all my strength in the throw. It made a louder sound this time, but not quite as loud as I wanted it to be…

Suddenly I was hurling handfuls of rocks at the glass, iron, plastic, bubble wrap or whatever the fuck his beautiful window was made of and it was making noise.

A lot.

And then, like an answered prayer – or an unwanted nightmare –Edward's face appeared, looking positively pissed. When he saw it was me he frowned, but had the decency to look somewhat guilty.

"Edward, get down here!" I yelled, tossing more rocks.

Although my idea had seemed cliché and like a lovey dovey romantic thing, it was everything but.

His shoulders lifted and he stared down at me, contemplating, and I saw the decision forming in his eyes as he nodded at me and lifted his hand up, giving me the 'wait' signal. I crossed my arms.

He came in to view, wearing a blue jacket over a simple white tee and a pair of beat up jeans.

I took quick, angry steps towards him and glared. He looked afraid.

"What the hell is the matter with you?!" I demanded as soon as I was in yelling distance. His face was blank. "I call for days and you won't answer. Nobody in your family will answer me. Nobody! And when I eventually decide to come over here and see if you're still alive, Esme – fucking Esme, Edward! – lies to me about where you and Alice and Emmett are and… ugh! I can't even get it all out! I am so mad at you right now, Edward!"

If I thought he looked afraid before, he looked terrified now. But he kept his posture upright and tried to keep his face a blank slate, void of any emotion.

He tried and he failed.

"I'm sorry," he finally said quietly.

"Oh, it's alright," I muttered.

"Bella, please, you need to hear everything, and here is not the right place. Can we go somewhere else?"

"No, Edward."

"Don't be difficult, Bella."

"Honestly, Edward, you are really not in the right place to be giving orders around here."

I looked at him. He really did look sorry – but I definitely knew what a good actor he could be at times. I sighed. "Fine, Edward. My truck is out front."

We walked in an uncomfortable silence. After my outburst, neither of us knew what to say. I felt somewhat guilty, although I didn't regret what I had said. It was true.

And he didn't say anything because… well, I was getting the feeling that he felt guilty, too. Or that I was like a ticking clock, and if he said something wrong I might explode.

We hopped inside the car and I turned my body to face him.

"Okay," he murmured. And then that uncomfortable silence resurfaced.

"Edward, come on," I said.

"Okay. Well…" he started. "I don't really know where to begin."

"Why don't you start with what was going on with Jasper. I'm guessing it had something to do with this?"

"Well, yeah. You know how Jasper went to Texas?" I nodded. "Well, Jasper and his mom were going out to buy some dinner or some shit like that and they came back earlier than expected…" he trailed off. I stared dumbfounded at him. "Jasper's dad has been... having a no-strings-attached thing with this woman in Texas for a couple of years?"

I gaped.

"What?" I finally asked. "How could he do that? To his family? To Jasper… and while his own mother was still in the house… on a family vacation! Oh my god, Jasper must be torn up…"

I continued rambling on about how horrible the whole situation was. I mean, really, who would do such a horrible thing?

As I mumbled to myself, I couldn't help but notice Edward's pained expression. Well, pained blended with plenty of other emotions. Like sorrow. Understandable, since he must have been affected by Jasper's mood somehow.

And anger. Well, hell, I was angry too.

And guilt.

Guilt…

Guilt. He was feeling guilty because what Jasper's father had been doing… was exactly what we were doing right now. "Edward…"

"I'm a horrible person, Bella," he whispered. "Jasper's family has been torn in to pieces. I'm like his dad. Having a meaningless friends with benefits thing which could ruin the friendship you have with Rosalie – not to mention the relationship I have with her. Oh, Bella, she's so beautiful and so sweet and she doesn't deserve any of this we've been doing and she's such an angel… if you could just see her through my eyes you'd see how truly beautiful she is and how loving she can be and… I messed it all up."

And, irrationally, hurt hit me.

And I know. I should burn in hell for this shit I've been doing with Edward – my best friend's boyfriend. It was low. So, so low…

But when he said that my friendship… and the feelings that I'd noticed were starting to bloom for him... was meaningless? And the way he talked about Rosalie, like she was his savior after the way he had basically looked down on her before…

This was all so confusing. Part of me felt jealous, part of me felt angry and the rest felt like… dying? I couldn't even describe it. My emotions were just a tumble of random feelings… all of them negative, of course…

"Edward," I said quietly. "What…"
"I need to think, Bella."

I nodded. But I knew that his words were only so he could stall… to find a way of telling me it was over.

I wanted to end it, too. I wanted the lying and the hiding and the rest of it to end.

I wanted Edward to myself.

God, why was I such a selfish bitch?

Rosalie had him first. I came and tried to take him. Now we shared him. Only Rosalie didn't know who she was sharing her significant other with.

Edward opened the door and started to climb out, put I tapped his shoulder before he had a change to really get away. He tilted his head towards me and I planted a quick kiss on his cheek. He smiled sadly and mumbled a goodbye to me. I stayed parked in his garage until he went back in to his house, before resting my cheek on the wheel of the truck.

Oh, trusty truck. You'll be here, right? I found you first… you won't see some beautiful black Mercedes and start going on about how beautiful it is, will you?

But I was wrong, yet again.

I found my truck second, didn't I?


the beginning of a (hopefully) interesting angst brigade? we shall see :D