I was really upset with Clyde for laughing when Dale called me a slut. Despite already being about half way to my house I was still fuming about it. How could Clyde just laugh when he called me a slut I mean sure I did offer to blow him on Monday, but I was not in a proper mindset at the time. In the end I did not got through with sucking Dale off and I am not even sure I would of had the heart to go through with the action. In the end all I had done was offer him one so Dale was totally out of line for calling me a slut. Well I guess he was not totally out of line for doing so, but still I could not believe that Clyde laughed when he said that. In reality I knew why I was really mad at Clyde, but I was struggling not even to think about it. I was truly upset that Clyde was ok with sharing me with other people.

When I got home I saw my parents in the living room sitting down and watching television. I tried to be discreet as I did not want to be bothered as I tried to go up the stairs with out them noticing. It did not work as my mom was soon aware of my presence.

"Oh hey Kyle are you back from your friends?" My mom asked.

"Uh... yea mom I am," I said as I continued up the stairs.

"Well we are watching a lovely movie right now care to join us since your home?" My mom asked with sincerity in her voice.

If I was in a better mood I would of considered watching a movie with my parents but I was not.

"No... no thanks mom I kind of want to unwind," I said as I continued up the stairs.

My mom apparently had accepted my answer as I heard nothing else from her. I felt a little bad about brushing my mom off like that, but I really did not want to watch whatever sappy movie they were watching right now. I just was not in the mood to be around other people at the moment and felt the need to have some time for myself in order to sort my thoughts out. Ever since this thing with Kenny and now with Clyde had started I had been having less and less time to think. In the past I would spend hours at home thinking about my own desires and my affection for Stan. Looking back on it I was unsure as to whether or not that was healthy for me, but right now I felt like I needed to think some things through by myself like I used to. I guess I still always think things through by myself when it comes to anything involving my little secret.

Before going to my room I went into the bathroom to wash my hands. This was something that I was well accustomed to doing when Kenny was making me do things or whenver I was in an extremely uncomfortable situation in the past, but since dating Clyde this is the first time that I felt the urge to wash my hands. I do not know why but washing my hands always made me feel cleaner and eased my mind. After I was done washing my hands I went into my bedroom where I plopped down on my bed in a similar fashion to how I would plop down to think about my feelings for Stan.

I lied down for a bit before turning my thoughts to Stan once more. I almost was infuriated at Wendy deep down for taking away my chances with him, but I realized that getting mad with her was pointless after all it was Stan who never told me how he felt about me. I still felt bad for finding out about Stan's feelings in the manner I did so, but the information itself had slowly been making me more and more pissed at the raven haired boy that I loved. I tried to calm my feelings and rage that was building up towards Stan by going and getting fucked by Clyde, but Clyde instead of having a passionate moment with me recorded me being fucked by him and then actually expected me to be fucked by his friend.

I knew that I was not actually that pissed at Clyde for recording me or even expecting me to take his friends dick next, but what I was pissed about was that Clyde reminded me that I was not someone special to him that he wanted for himself but just someone to hang out and fuck around with. I was a slut sure I could admit that but now I was realizing that I wanted to be someones personal slut who the cherished and I was unsure if Clyde was capable of giving me that.

Ironically this all came back to Kenny who seemingly did just want me to himself, and as disgusting as it was I feel like Kenny does like me in some serious way deep down. I did feel like he only wanted to be friends with me again, of course, but with exclusive benefits that only he got. This line of thought only served to hurt me by making me remember the awful yet lustful times I had spent under Kenny's boot, and the shaky and mixed feelings I still felt in regards to my own sexuality. I thought I was going to be able to work things out in my mind and yet here I lied on my bed desperately trying to find something to cling onto that made me feel at least slightly less worthless than I felt about myself.

As I fell deeper into my depression suddenly my phone buzzed meaning that I had gotten a message. I picked it up lazily as I read who it was from. I was kind of expecting it to be Clyde who had texted me, but I was surprised to see it was Wendy.

Hey Kyle you got a minute Wendy texted.

Yea I guess why? I texted back.

Want to go out and get a coffee with me? Wendy asked.

I was surprised that Wendy was asking me out but at the same time sort of relieved. I felt like going out and doing something other than wallowing in my bed feeling sorry for myself.

Sure... at Tweaks? I asked.

Yea see ya there Wendy texted back.

I then donned my coat and went back down stairs prepared to go see Wendy. Right now I just felt like going out and doing something to take my mind off of Clyde, Stan, and Kenny and my attraction to guys in general. When I went downstairs I had to walk past my parents who seemed to be too invested in their movie to notice me or at least that is what I thought.

"You heading out again bubala?" My mom asked me.

"Yea just for a bit though," I said.

"Ok be safe," My mom said.

With that I was outside once more as I made my way to Tweak Bros. coffee shop. I still felt bad about how little attention I had been giving my family overall as of late, and that was including Ike who I had recently come out to, but I simply had too much on my plate to spend much time with them. I did not know what Wendy wanted to go out and get coffee with me for, but knowing her it probably had something to do with the Christmas Committee. I was still a little confused by the invitation as she had never asked me out to coffee alone before.

When I arrived at the coffee house I surveyed the inside until I spotted Wendy sitting by herself. I was half expecting to see Stan in there with her but she was indeed by herself. I made my way in as I looked around and saw very few people inside which made sense considering that the sun had pretty much gone down at this point and all the street lights were turning on. I knew that Tweek's dad sometimes had his son working here although I did not see him here at the moment, and he had seemingly started working here less and less from what I could tell from my visits.

"Oh hey Kyle," Wendy greeted upon noticing me.

"Hey Wendy," I said as I sat down across from her.

"Anyways thanks for coming Kyle I wanted to discuss some things with you real quick," Wendy said as she took a deep breath," First off I've noticed that you have not been as attentive during the Christmas Committee as you were during the Thanksgiving Committee and I was wondering if you were alright."

"Oh... I've been fine Wendy there's just been stuff on my mind is all," I said somewhat nervously," You usually do such a good job that barely any one else needs to come up with any bright or better ideas."

In reality I was a little alarmed that Wendy had noticed my lack of attention during the Committee meetings, but I guess I should of figured she would of noticed considering how attentive she was to the smallest detail. I of course could not tell Wendy the reason why I was having trouble focusing was that I was thinking about what Clyde would do to me during the weekend, or what Stan and I would get up to versus what I wished we would get up to, or even my troubles with Kenny that had been plaguing me far before Clyde came into the picture.

"Well Thanks," Wendy said with a half smile," But still Kyle you need to be more forthcoming during Committee meetings... I have seen your grades and you definitely have a bright future in store if you start planning ahead as soon as possible."

"Oh well thanks Wendy... But I don't know exactly what I want to do," I said," What do you have planned out."

"Well I don't like to talk about myself buuut," Wendy said as she clearly began visualizing her future," First I will graduate from South Park High with high grades and, of course, having spent time in SPFAC, once I join of course, I will have no trouble getting outside assistance for entering the college of my choice."

I was surprised by how far Wendy had thought things through. It also really made me reevaluate what I have been planning with my future. As things stood I only really had planned on graduating high school. I expected to go to college of course but did not know exactly where I wished to go.

"Then I will go to college to get majors in political science and business afterwards I plan to start my political career," Wendy said as she let out a breath after talking for so long.

I now realized that Wendy was kind of fantasizing about her own future, but at least she did in fact have a plan.

"Kyle you yourself have many school accomplishments to be proud of," Wendy said with sincerity in her voice," You should not be insecure because if you put your mind to it you will definitely have a successful career in virtually anything you choose."

I felt uplifted by Wendy's words and came to a great revelation. My worth was not tied down to who wanted to fuck me or how much they even loved me. I had other valuable assets such as my mind that made me worth something. I had always known this but for some reason I had let Kenny bring me down. I realized I had still not gotten up from all the times he tried putting me down and degraded me to feel better about himself. I still knew I had been an arrogant blowhard who viewed myself to be greater than Kenny and treated him like a second class citizen because of it, and that was the reason Kenny wanted to take me down a notch by striking me where I felt the lowest. Kenny at one point had actually gotten me to view myself as nothing more than his bitch and that was simply not true. I had already talked this out with Kenny and he seemingly also wanted me back as a friend, so it was up to me now to pick myself up from this low I was in and I did not need someone to help me do it. I may be desperate and desire love, but while searching for love and sating my desires I still needed to be sure to have a plan for my future. I started thinking about how I started my relationship with Clyde as Wendy's phone went off.

"Excuse me," Wendy said as she answered the phone.

"Oh hi sweety," Wendy greeted who was obviously Stan over her cell phone.

I then sat there as Wendy preceded to have a conversation with Stan over the phone. It was mostly a benign conversation with Wendy and Stan trading the usual pleasantries that go along with being a couple. The way Wendy was talking indicated that she and Stan had plans for tomorrow and it seemed as though she was confirming that she would in fact be there. I found myself growing increasingly uninterested in wherever this location was. As she was talking to Stan Mr. Tweak came by and I ordered a coffee and preceded to sit there waiting patiently for her to get off the phone. As she continued talking though I found it increasingly difficult not to listen in on their conversation. I began to remember how much I desperately wanted to have the relationship they had despite just remembering how I had a life to look forward to based on my academic merit alone.

Maybe that was the reason Wendy was able to put so much focus into her school career and did not have to focus on petty lustful and broken romances like I did. Hers and Stan's relationship was so ideal, so perfect, and they never got into a serious argument, and whenever they did get into an argument it was usually petty and solved within the day it had started. Yes that was likely the reason Wendy could focus on her life as she already had a perfect love life. I was now split on focusing on getting a future career that I could be proud of immediately or worrying about that later as I try to build a stable relationship with Clyde.

Unfortunately Clyde and I could never have a stable relationship from the looks of things as he was way too loose and easygoing and I just did not seem to matter to him as much as Wendy mattered to Stan. Speaking of Stan even if I was to get him our relationship would be mired in the fact that I discovered his attraction to me by spying on him like a pervert. Not to mention Wendy would not take kindly to me taking her man away. Then there was Kenny who had such a terrible relationship with me that I almost shuddered upon the mere idea of thinking of him as a potential life long partner. I was suddenly taken out of my deep thoughts by Wendy.

"Kay Stan bye bye," Wendy said as she exited the call.

She then looked over to me and seemingly remembered that I was sitting across from her.

"Sorry about that Kyle," Wendy apologized as she looked outside," Anyways it's getting late so I better head on home... think about what we talked about K?"

"Ok Wendy I will," I said as I took my first sip of my coffee.

"Bye Kyle," Wendy said as she got up and through he coffee in the trash and left.

As I sat in the coffee shop and drank my coffee I realized that there was now no one left in the little establishment. Not even Tweak's father could be seen anywhere and I looked outside to see it was now completely dark out with the sun having completely disappeared. I realized it was definitely going to be cold outside and almost dreaded having to walk home but luckily I had remembered to bring my jacket. There was only a week left of school before winter break started and I realized that Stan and Token were probably going to start getting invited to a few more grander parties than the usual run of the mill stuff, and Stan would likely invite Wendy and I to tag along as always. I sometimes really wish I could get in Stan's head, especially now after witnessing what I saw in the bathroom of the movie theater. I was just about to walk out of the store with my coffee in hand when a familiar face came into the shop. I looked up to see Craig staring back at me and I saw his face show mild surprise before returning to it's usual bland expression.

"Hey Kyle what are you doing here?" Craig said while not looking directly at me.

"Not much... just drinking coffee," I answered.

I was unsure as to how Craig felt about me at this point. I remembered how Clyde seemed a little shocked at the idea of Craig being mad at me. Craig had also witnessed Kenny and I the other day and he seemed a little more antagonistic towards Kenny which only confused my opinion of him more. Now here he was just standing next to the door as he suddenly began approaching me. I was unsure what to do but when he got a few feet closer to me he spoke.

"This is none of my business I guess," He said," But I would like to ask you about... Kenny."

"Craig... I just really don't want to talk about Kenny," I said," And I don't even know... why you are even talking to me right now."

"Because... Well I just want to make sure nothing... bad is happening," Craig said.

I realized I was probably coming across as kind of cold, but Craig had been somewhat hostile to me just recently so I was confused by him taking interest in me all of the sudden. Now he was asking if something bad was happening and I wondered if Kenny or perhaps Clyde had told him something. I knew that Craig was close friends with both Clyde and Kenny at this point so odds are he actually did hear something but I had no idea what.

"Craig can you please... just be blunt?" I asked desperately wanting to get this conversation over with.

In the past I probably would of tried running away if I thought someone knew or even was about to allude to me being gay, but after constantly coming out and being outed to various people I was feeling more and more open with myself. For all I knew Craig did not know I was gay or had been fucked by both of his friends, but lets face it he was probably catching on at this point. He was suspicious when I was just going over to Kenny's house and Clyde from what I could tell was kind of loose lipped even though I desperately was hoping that he did not out me to anyone. I had made it clear to Clyde that I did not want to come out of the closet and despite his behavior I was going to trust that he kept his word. Although he had told me about Craig, Tweek, and him, as well as all the girls he had been with so that caused me to doubt him.

"Listen Kyle," Craig said quietly as he sat across from me where Wendy was sitting," Did Kenny do something... did Kenny force you to do something you were uncomfortable with?"

"What?" I asked as I felt my body freeze up.

Despite us still not being on the friendliest of terms I never thought that Kenny would tell anyone about what he did with me and yet that seemed to be the case.

"I mean... I really thought you were just sleeping with him to pass the time like... some guy I know would, but the way Kenny was talking to me just a bit ago made me a little... concerned," Craig said with a hint of worry on his face," I am not trying to make you uncomfortable but..."

"Your failing," I said interrupting him as I felt a uneasy feeling in my gut..

Craig noticed and looked a little surprised and apologetic as he got up from the booth.

"Yea I'm sorry... I shouldn't of even said anything," Craig said as he began walking away.

"Wait... It actually would... be really nice to talk to someone," I said nervously," If I'm being honest."

"Come with me then," Craig said as he started walking to the restroom.

I followed him inside the boys restroom as he closed and locked the door behind him. It was one of those small singular restrooms that only one guy could use at a time, and if someone else was in the store I might of felt a little nervous about going into the room with Craig. Craig let out a heavy breath and turned to face me with a blank unreadable expression on his face.

"So Kyle what do you want to..." Craig begun to say.

"So I'm gay," I just blurted out unceremoniously as I interrupted him.

I just wanted to get that out of the way in the hopes that it would make me feel more comfortable. As I looked at Craig who was giving me a slightly confused and bland look I realized that all I did was make myself look stupid.

"Uhh... yea I kind of figured that dude," Craig said in an inexpressive tone," I just want to find out if Kenny did something to you he should not of."

"Craig, can you tell me what you figured out about me and how first just so I know we are on the same page," I said as I felt my body shaking," I am not used to just talking about this kind of stuff... to just anyone."

"Fair enough," Craig said," I know Kenny has been with you and Clyde has been with you."

"I know that your gay since you just told me and I figured as much anyways," Craig continued.

"Kenny and Craig had a conversation about an hour ago about you and that's how I figured out about what was going on between you, Kenny, and now Clyde," Craig said maintaining a mostly monotone voice.

"What?" I said in surprise," Kenny and Clyde talked about me?"

"Yea Kenny texted Clyde to go to our work place seemingly just to tell him to break things off with you," Craig said," Then Clyde shared some video of you and him... doing things... I didn't look of course, but Kenny did and after that I left them to talk to themselves."

I could not believe what I was hearing. I almost wanted to slap Craig and accuse him of lying, but unfortunately I have never known Craig to lie about something so serious. The fact that Kenny wanted Clyde to break up with me made me feel very conflicted. I did enjoy being wanted, but the fact that Kenny was the one doing it added a layer of discomfort to the whole thing. I was even more hurt that Clyde had shared what I assumed he would know to be a personal video that I never even agreed to being made in the first place. I almost wish Craig would of seen it so he could describe what I was wearing or something to confirm his story.

"I can't believe it," I said in utter shock.

"Well yea... but during the conversation Kenny kind of indicate that he sort of bent your arm to get you to go over to his place," Craig said clearing choosing his words carefully," And later when we were doing more... work I asked Kenny about it and he made it seem like he kind of had to blackmail you."

"Kind of blackmail me," I said with a scoff.

"Yea that's kind of where I take issue with... whatever happened between the two of you," Craig said still talking to me in a manner that made me believe he was used to having to speak delicately to someone," I knew something was up when Kenny started hanging around someone who he had previously told me he couldn't stand."

"He told you that?" I asked.

"Well yea... but now he seems to have a...," Craig said in an unsure tone," I don't even know anymore dude."

It sounded like Kenny was just as conflicted as I was which almost made me feel better. I almost wished that I could go back in time before all the mistakes that Kenny and I had made and rewrite history. Maybe the two of us could of stayed friends at the very least. Unfortunately like nearly everyone else who wishes to go back in time it was simply impossible. As things stood now Kenny's actions just made no sense to me.

"Why did Kenny even tell you about... what he did to me?" I asked Craig nervously.

"He kind of wanted me to help him... hook up with you or something like that, he was vague as fuck and seemed totally uncomfortable with asking me to help," Craig said with a sigh," I asked him to give me the full story on you, but he just gave me a vague idea as to what happened... so that's why I'm kind of glad I ran into you so you could clear things up."

"Well... I also don't feel comfortable talking about this," I said as I let out a sigh as well.

"Yea I get it," Craig said as he unlocked the bathroom door," Just don't tell Kenny that I told you all of this, because he begged me not to and I really don't want him mad at me."

Kenny clearly knew that I would not want to hear that he and Clyde were talking about me, that Clyde was showing them the video his friend took earlier, or Kenny trying to get my boyfriend to break up with me. Clyde was my boyfriend was he not I mean sure he did not really seem to care about my feelings when it came to wanting some privacy, but he obviously did care about me based on those nights I spent sleeping with him.

"Did Clyde say anything about me?" I asked as Craig was about to leave the bathroom," When Kenny told him to break things off with me."

"He did not say he would break things off with you...," Craig said.

I felt kind of relieved and happy that Clyde at the very least would not just break up with me under pressure.

"But he did tell Kenny he could... you know... if he wanted," Craig said in a delicate tone.

I felt that momentary high of thinking that I mattered deeply to Clyde shatter. I mean sure I kind of liked this exhibitionist thing as well, but still I did not like the idea of just being whored out to whoever. I wanted to be only one guy's boy not the whole damn towns. The idea of being gang banged by multiple guys did sound pretty hot in my head, but in reality I knew I would just be doing it to fill the hole in my heart. What I wanted was indeed sex, but more deeply than that I wanted love like Wendy had.

I so wish that Craig was well known to be a total liar and shit starter but that just was not the case. The thing I hated the most about what I was hearing was that it sounded like Kenny wanted me to himself but Clyde was pretty ok with sharing me. True Clyde did say that he wanted an open relationship and I was ok with it at the time, but now I am beginning to realize that I really want to be the apple of someones eye their one and only and I feared that Clyde would not be able to give me that.

"Kyle... before I go I need to know that your alright with what happened or if you want to... do something about it," Craig said in a serious tone.

I was kind of happy that Craig seemed to really have my back in this instance. I did not know what he meant about do something about it but I had some ideas about what he meant. Craig was being very nice to me but it did make me wonder what his problem with me was in the first place. I guessed it probably had something to do with Kenny being one of his close friends and he probably used to talk a lot of shit about me. I myself have developed opinions of people based on rumor and gossip alone so I kind of understood it.

"I'm fine, but thank you Craig," I said sincerely," I can deal with Kenny by myself, and I have already sort of moved past the nasty stuff that happened."

"You sure," Craig said.

"I am one hundred percent sure," I verified.

"Just what are you so... sure about Kyle!" I heard someone screech from just outside the bathroom door.

"Oh Tweek there you are," Craig said calmly.

I then realized who the voice belonged to as Tweek made his way into the bathroom. He looked uncharacteristically pissed and yet as nervous and a little twitchy as he practically always was.

"Don't you Tweek me Craig just what were you doing in the bathroom... with him!" Tweek said as he pointed at me accusingly.

"Relax Tweek we were just talking," Craig said in an attempt to calm the crazy blonde down.

"Really... is that that right Kyle?" Tweek asked.

"Yes Tweek relax," I said.

Seeing Tweek behave like a nervous psychopath really reminded me of how nervous I could get whenever I start trying to do something remotely sexual with other guys.

"Ohh geeeeeeze you probably are wondering why I... Why I was freaking out," Tweek said as his eyes grew wide in terror," Oh no... i just made everything so obvious I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Tweek just go to my car I'll be out in a second," Craig said in a somewhat sweet tone that I was not expecting.

"Craig jesus your making it worse," Tweek said as he pulled on his hair," Kyle is going to figure out everything at this rate."

"Tweek trust me Kyle is cool and we're fine," Craig said as he looked Tweek directly in the eyes.

"uh... ohhh... ok," Tweek said as he made his way out of the bathroom.

I felt a similar jealous feeling that I usually got around Stan and Wendy. Tweek and Craig were clearly a thing. Even though they clearly were not necessarily a perfect ideal relationship I did see in Craig's and even Tweek's eyes that they cared for one another as well as trusted each other. Stan had never given me that look, Kenny never looked me in the eyes like that either and I was pretty sure I did not want him to anyway, and even though Clyde had given me a similar look I still felt like something was missing.

"Kyle I'm gonna have to go soon... I just wanted to ask you why Clyde?" Craig said in a serious tone," Why hook up with him?"

"I just kind of... felt like I needed to after Kenny," I said.

"And do you actually want to be in a relationship?" Craig asked.

"Well yea of course," I said.

"Love love Kyle, not friends with benefits love," Craig said blandly," Listen I don't mean to insert myself into your relationship, but I'm just worried about you now... and feel the need to apologize."

I was still confused by what Craig was getting at. I never really thought that someone would get so intimate with just a friend, but then I remembered how Clyde was shocked when I told him Stan and I had never fooled around before. It did seem like Clyde was down for having sexual relations with those who he considered to be his friends.

"What... what do you feel the need to apologize for," I asked.

"I thought you were initially just fooling around with Kenny to pass the time," Craig stated in a simple tone," You honestly reminded me of Clyde and I thought you were just going to go around playing with whoever you wanted to without acknowledging the consequences of your actions."

"Oh well Clyde's not that bad is he," I said," I mean you two are friends right?"

"Kyle I'm only telling you this because I believe you when you say you want to be in what I consider actual relationship and not Clyde's definition," Craig said with a sigh," I love Clyde he is one of my oldest friends but listen to me he does not like the idea of getting tied down just ask Bebe."

I did remember him telling me about Bebe and all they had been through and at the same time he was just being sort of dismissive about the whole thing.

"Well it's been a while since Bebe and maybe he'll...," I started to say before Craig interrupted me.

"Kyle has he given you any indication that he wants to actually be in a committed relationship?" Craig asked me in a skeptical tone.

"He... he calls us boyfriends," I said remembering that we were technically dating.

"Kyle," Craig said as he gave me a sympathetic look for a brief second," He called Tweek and I his boyfriends back in middle school when we jacked off together it does not mean very much to him."

I was surprised and hurt that something I thought was a crucial moment in Clyde and mines relationship possibly meant very little to Clyde.

"You may have a point," I finally conceited as I let out a sigh.

All I wanted to do now was to go back home, wash my hands, lay on my bed, and think about all that Craig had just told me.

"I'm sorry Kyle I'm just trying to be honest with you," Craig said," Clyde is a nice guy and I totally would not blame you for fooling around with him from time to time... but don't expect any monogamous relationship to come from it."

That hurt but he did seem to have a point. Whatever the case was now it was my turn to find out what a real relationship was to Craig.

"Well how does your relationship work," I countered him.

"Oh... well that's kind of private," Craig said as I noticed a feint blush on his cheeks.

"You just told me you guys jerked off together," I said as I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Well Clyde told Bebe and his girlfriends that information so I assumed the rumor had spread to everyone by now," Craig said as he rolled his eyes.

"I hadn't heard about it," I said defensively," and besides all I want to really know is what you consider a real relationship."

"A real relationship... is about making concessions to please your other half... and they in turn also make some concessions, Clyde has always just wanted a friend to fuck... and that applies to both his girlfriends and his guy friends. I don't really blame Clyde for not wanting to settle down, but he has a bad habit of leading people on because he does not care to actually get to know them on an emotional level or to go far out of his way to make them happy."

"Ok so how do you know you and Tweek have a real relationship," I said enviously as I realized just how thoughtful of a person Craig was and how lucky Tweek was.

I guess at this rate I would always be a bitter person who was jealous of everyone who found love.

"I have made many concessions to stay with Tweek Kyle... I sometimes wish I would of at least waited a few years and played around freely like Clyde does," Craig admits," In a way I'm jealous of the freedom you have."

I was shocked that Craig was jealous of me when he seemingly have found someone who loved him already, but I guess he and I were just suffering from very opposite predicaments.

"You two seem so... close though, and if you do love each other why do you feel jealous of me," I ask him.

"Because Kyle is you go around expecting to find a perfect relationships that makes you permanently happy for the rest of your life your going to end up disappointed... and if you ever run into a relationship that does seem perfect I promise you that there is something wrong going on beneath the surface, either that or you simply have not been around them enough," Craig said solemnly," That being said I do love Tweek and have already committed myself to spending the rest of my life not having any form of relationship with anyone but him simply because he makes me feel happy about myself and I enjoy being around him more than anyone else in the world."

"That's pretty deep... thanks you have given me a lot to think about," I said as his words sunk in.

"We'll I leave you to it I got to go to my car now before Tweek gets anxious," Craig said and I noticed a small smile on his face as he left the bathroom," Oh and I trust you not to go around telling anyone about what I just told you."

"Right," I said.

It was fairly late by the time I got home, and my parents were seemingly preparing for bed. I guess I missed out on hanging out with them tonight, but for now what Craig had told me weighed far more heavily on my mind. I lied down in my bed and thought about all the guys around me. I realized that I really should not be looking for an ideal perfect relationship and should expect some difficulties to come with whoever I choose to hook up with. I also realized I really had rushed into this Clyde thing, and what I hated most was that the main reason I was with Clyde was because of Kenny. If Kenny had never exposed me to my sexuality and robbed me of my virginity I never would of had the courage to start very much of anything with Clyde. At the time I was hating myself for getting off from what Kenny was doing to me so I felt like I needed to escape and get into a new relationship to stave off my lustful desires that Kenny had awakened. I probably would of been fine with just jacking off if Kenny had not shown me how fun sex could be. The main reason why I accepted being in what Clyde called an open relationship was because I viewed it as better than what had happened between Kenny and I. I realized that I should not just settle with role playing as boyfriends with a cute guy, and should look elsewhere for someone who actually was compatible with me. Still I did not need to find a new guy to get fucked by in order to break things off with Clyde like I had with Kenny. I went to bed that night decided that tomorrow I would have a talk with Clyde and if he did not make the concessions I wanted then I would break things off between us, because I did feel like he deserved one last chance at the very least.