Inner anger and bitterness
Author's note: Before reading the chapter, I just want to explain a minor detail that could be misunderstood; Celegorm is not really someone who enjoys masochism, he just have a habit of being aroused by things that reminds of the thrill of a hunt
~X~X~X~X~X~X
The following day, Celegorm had to ge to a meeting with some other Elves and Maiar which Oromë had tasked with being protectors of those who sought sanctuary in the Woods. Mainly it was to put together a report to the Vala, and also to let him know if there was any troubles which he may need to solve.
"So, Tyelkormo, how is it going with guarding your family?"
Most of them knew him best by his Quenya names since he had only learned the Sindarin tongue in Middle-Earth, though Celegorm preferred them to use his mother-name for everyday tasks, as his father-name was more used for formal events back home with his parents and brothers.
"Rather well. Something of a rough start, but I am partly to blame for that, I was a bit careless and spooked the husband badly, which both the wife and two children was very unhappy about. Should perhaps have needed to do a few more protection duties in the past before the Oath, or when I had gone through that formal ceremony to atone for my actions as a Kinslayer."
Some of the others nodded in agreement over that he should have needed some more training in how to be a protector, even snickering as Celegorm told them of how he had been knocked out by the washing paddle. But they did not laugh to humiliate him, they just found it funny in that not even his battle-trained reflexes had saved him in a such situation.
"That reminds me...it is pretty chaotic in the south right now. Elu Thingol have promised a considerable reward to anyone who can find his missing grandson and his family, and bring him back to him, or at least can give fresh information about them. People who have claimed to see them somewhere and turned out to be lying simpy to get the money...was given a very different payment, you can say."
Celegorm got a bit nervous about those news. A big reward to capture a missing person would loosen lips and make people more watchful. As Caranthir had explained to him once, being promised a huge amount of money could lead to dishonest actions, that was something Caranthir had been taught and warned about by the Dwarves from the Dwarven city of Belegost he had been trading with in the First Age. Caranthir himself had never suffered from a dishonorable deal from the Dwarves but he had been deeply hurt by the betrayal from Ulfang and his people.
"We was ordered by our Master to spread that information around to the villages, if someone indeed would try to look for Thingol's missing relatives here in the Woods. The Sinda King does not have much area left to look around for them in Valinor, lesser for each day that passes. It is already two months since they vanished from his court and soon entering the third month."
Calling a small message bird to his hand, Celegorm gave it a small letter to carry in its tiny claws. Dior and Nimloth needed to know that they had to be on their guard until that he returned.
~X~X~X~X~X~X
Even as he tried to hurry back to the cottage as soon as the meeting was over, Celegorm was alarmed when Huan set up in even higher speed than normally, changing into a bigger size as he did so. The Hound only changed size when it was needed.
"Run ahead, Huan! I will come after you!" he called, already nocking an arrow on his bow to be ready to shoot if needed.
It was the sounds of screams, mixed with shouting and fighting, that first was heard as he rode closer. Then the unavoidable sound of someone throwing a heavy item on the head of someone else. And some of the finest swear words he had ever heard someone from Doriath use.
At the cottage, Huan had laid himself flat over two unfamiliar Elves, one who was knocked out cold while the other one was swearing angry over the Hound's noticeable weight. Nimloth was holding another clay pot in one hand, ready to throw it, breathing heavy as if she already done so several times. Dior, on the other hand, had slided down along the house wall behind his wife, trembling violently from shock and fear visible in his right eye. Eluréd and Elurín had taken cover inside the cottage, carefully looking out though the open window if they needed to hide again.
"Your message arrived just before those two showed up, claiming to be merchants who trade with the Woods. They tried to grab hold of the boys and then Dior when he came running to free them…" she explained.
Celegorm narrowed his eyes. Walking over to where one of the strangers had dropped a bag, he opened it. As he had worried about, there was three wanting posters found inside with some basic information about them, one of each parent and the twins sharing a image. On the wanting posters, the exact amount of the reward money also written there.
"As I am not familiar with the payment system in Thingol's realm...Nimloth, can you try and count out this? I do not think Dior is in the best shape to try anything like that at the moment."
Sending her sons to bring out a blanket and a cup of steaming hot tea if Dior indeed was about to go into shock, Nimloth took a closer look at the written down amounts. As Dior tried to avoid spilling out the tea because of how his hands was still trembling, she hissed in a low voice;
"He is offering triple the cost of the annual salary of an ordinary palace guard for all four of us to be brought back by force?! No, the offered sum for Dior is slightly higher, I guess that he really want his "black sheep" in the family back to use as target for his disappointment…"
No one was surprised by the small crash heard as Dior dropped the tea cup to the ground, breaking it. But when Celegorm turned around, he was really shocked by the aura which now surrounded Dior even as the half-Elven did not look up from the ground where he still was sitting. Anger, hate, displeasure, bitterness and humiliation and above all, plain resentment.
"Celegorm...please take Dior on a hunting trip, a long one over several days. He is about to snap…" Nimloth pleaded, her sons hiding in terror behind her as they never had felt anything similar from their father before.
"Pack what he needs for about ten days. I will return after leaving those two money-greedy fools in the village to someone who can deliver them to Oromë for judgment.
~X~X~X~X~X~X
Dior had not protested at all when being told that he needed to follow Celegorm, barely answering his family's request to return when he no longer had all those negative feelings inside him. Celegorm did not doubt that the main reason for Dior coming along was the fear of lashing out on his family, when none of them had done anything to deserve his anger.
When finding a good place to set up camp, Celegorm allowed Dior some rather vast space while he fixed a fire and choosing the best dry places, sheltered from rain and wind, to set up their sleeping bags not far from each other if something was needed. Dior may not mean it to be aimed at him, but he had a pretty intensive murderous glare right now. Had they been back in Doriath, during that death duel, Celegorm seriously doubted that he still would have mistaken Dior as a easy target to kill due to his far younger age. This was a death glare worthy that of Maedhros or Fëanor in their worst fury. From how tensed up Dior was in his whole body, he needed a way to let out all those feelings, preferably quickly.
"I will not go far, just getting some new water in the water skins from the stream over there."
But while he gathered fresh water, Celegorm hid himself behind some bushes so Dior would not see him pull down his riding pants and oil himself up in preparation. He had originally planned to first have Dior learn how to be taken gently under controlled surroundings, in the master bedroom with Nimloth around for comfort so Dior would not get a possible panic attack, before switching the positions so Celegorm would be taken by him. But as things were right now, it was better to change that plan. He needed to carefully lead Dior into a position of the dominant partner, offering himself as a target to take out that inner chaos on. Preferring to be taken in a rough way would make it easier for Celegorm, who did not doubt that some of Dior's hidden Maia powers may show themselves due to the intensive feelings in his body, but he doubted that it would be enough to rival how Oromë could show his displeasure over something.
"He was not exactly gentle in how he took me after my rebirth, even if he made a point of not forcing me into it….showing just how disappointed he was by me allowing the Oath to take over my life…"
It was a good thing that he also had requested something else from the village shop, something normally used in training.
Dior looked up at hearing Celegorm calling his name, and then a wooden sword, padded with several layers of sheep wool below a binding of long fabric strips to avoid injury outside simple bruises, landed at his feet.
"I think we need to recreate our last duel somewhat, due to all that tension you carries inside you right now. No killing this time, I promise, the swords are padded especially to avoid that. Besides, Nimloth would kill me before I even would be sentenced to the Halls of Mandos…."
Dior said nothing as he rose to his feet, then picked up the sword before taking a fighting position. Celegorm did so as well, allowing some distance between them.
Then, Dior changed forwards. Whatever it was his anger or the Maia powers, Celegorm was forced back a few steps by the hit he blocked with his own padded sword. Dior may not have that much body strength right now, but sometimes very heated emotions could give some unexpected power to keep going on in battle.
"He is stronger than he looks! No big wonder, really, given how he and Nimloth train together when he was not allowed to train with the guards….!" Celegorm thought, trying to not hit Dior on the left side as the half-Elven kept attacking. Attacking Dior where he could not see, would be cheating and likely mess up the intention of this duel. He could see Dior clench his teeth, the cold stare in his right eye coming even more angry.
"STOP TOYING AROUND WITH ME! THAT IS WHAT EVERYONE KEEP DOING, NO MATTER WHAT I SAYS! THINKING ME TOO FRAGILE OR UNIMPORTANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, JUST BECAUSE I AM THE SON OF THAT DAMNED WOMAN!"
Oh, Dior wanted to let out some resentment aimed towards Luthien? Well, Celegorm could deal with it. He allowed himself to be slammed into a tree with his back first, despite the resulting pain, and then moved around in a manner around the camp that was similar to a chase, Dior following after him with the sword ready for another hit.
"GRANDFATHER AND ALMOST EVERYONE AT HIS COURT ALWAYS KEEP TALKING ABOUT HER BEAUTY AND GENTLE HEART, QUESTIONING WHY SHE FELL FOR MY MORTAL FATHER WITHIN EARSHOT SO I HEARS IT! A FAIR, INNOCENT MAIDEN WHO WAS SEDUCED BY A MAN UNWORTHY OF HER HAND IN MARRIAGE?! NOT IN MY EYES, WHEN SHE TOYED AROUND WITH THE HEARTS AND FEELINGS OF OTHER PEOPLE LIKE YOU, NEVER CARING FOR HOW THEY MIGHT FEEL AFTERWARDS WHEN SHE THREW THEM ASIDE!"
Dior did not seem to view his famous parents in a very good light, despite being their son, most likely because he had been the one having to deal with the consequences of the Quest for the Silmaril. Clearly he resented to be viewed as a weak link in the chain which was his family tree, only joining one famed generation to another.
"GRANDMOTHER MELIAN IS NO HELP, EITHER! NO PROTECTION AGAINST MY GRANDFATHER DESPITE THAT I AM THE ONLY CHILD OF HER DAUGHTER, IGNORING MY PLEADS FOR MAKING HIM STOP BELITTLE ME FOR THE WHOLE THING ABOUT DORIATH FALLING! AND I AM TIRED OF BEING VIEWED AS FLAWED AND NEEDED TO BE CORRECTED WITH ABUSE BECAUSE I AM DRAWN TO BOTH GENDERS! "
Celegorm grabbed hold of Dior's right arm so he could see it, carefully pulling them both down on the ground. There it became more of a wrestling match, Dior cursing and yelling in Taliska as Celegorm held him down. The cursing was cut off temporarily as the Fëanorian kissed him, not the most easy task with how Dior trashed around below him and tried to get free.
"Get off me, bastard!"
"Not yet. This is not over for a little while more," Celegorm grinned in a arrogant manner on purpose, making Dior growl dangerously at him, looking for a moment really similar to how Maedhros may have looked like without the red hair from Nerdanel in the First Age with his blind eye on the other half of his face, as if Dior really had been carrying the blood of Fëanor in his veins instead of the mortal blood from Beren, even if that was impossible since Celegorm never had tried to bed Luthien. Removing their clothes without too many punches and pulling, was not easy but Celegorm managed it.
"Celegorm, I am warning you….!" Dior snarled, now far from the passive manner he normally would show in love-making.
"Feel welcome to attack me with all your might, your majesty, you would not be the first one to take me in a rough manner of bedding. Besides, you really want to let out all the anger you hold against Thingol for how he have been mistreating you, right?" Celegorm smirked in response, realizing that Dior secretly needed another lover that could stand the more violent side he rarely showed, given how tender he normally was with Nimloth. Did Thingol really think that his grandson would not end up resenting all the restrictions he had been given in the long run?
"I said, get off me!"
Allowing Dior to punch him hard enough to draw blood between his lips, Celegorm used that same movement of falling backwards to straddle the half-Elven's hips and be mounted, one leg on each side of the hips. But he was not done yet, turning around and laying down so his back was firmly against Dior's chest, then grabbing hold of Dior's right arm and leg, one in each hand, Celegorm made them roll over to switch positions.
"What are you do-...!?"
Now, with both of then bending over, Celegorm raised his own hips so his back was arching. Using Dior's own weight to create a really deep penetration, the Noldo then started to push back as a invitation for Dior to take action.
"CELEGORM!"
He was rewarded with a deep bite into his shoulder, hard enough to draw blood, as Dior thrusted really hard into him with a force worthy that of a actual Maia. He could also see the green markings from the other evening show up on the hands which held down his arms, a sign of that Dior must be almost overwhelmed by his own feelings.
~X~X~X~X~X~X
"My, he really enjoys being taken roughly, huh? I have never needed to question why the third son of Fëanor is a favorite of yours to bed, even with the Oath in the past," a female voice laughed as husband's attention was against a magical tapestry on the wall, showing what happened between Celegorm and Dior right now.
Oromë pushed his wife closer to himself with one strong arm without looking away from the scene of the two male Elves, he knew that it was very arousing for Vána to watch others have sex without knowing about that she was watching them. She may seem innocent and sweet, almost looking delicate enough to easy break within the large hands of her husband who towered over her, but enjoyed to shock others with how sexually active she could be with Oromë. She was the only one able to make him drop all dominance and act in a passive role during love-making, all to please her.
"Any idea how to do with Melian? By not protesting against how Thingol is acting with their grandson or telling of that it is not acceptable to do so, she is indirectly abusing young Dior as well. After all, she is one of your Maiar despite being married to Thingol."
Vána snorted in clear dissatisfaction, blowing some of her honey-coloured locks away from her eyes as she laid down on his strong chest.
"You are welcome to remove her spirit from that Elven body she created again at the news of his rebirth. If she now can not accept that her grandson have some minor flaws yet willingly looks past those flaws of her long gone daughter, then I think she needs to open her eyes for reality by force. Some hundred years stuck in a circle of death and rebirth into various human bodies who are bound to be among the various social classes and cultures of the race of Men, should do the trick, especially if she always ends up dying in the mortal body no matter what she does to prevent it from happen."
Even if the Valar kept themselves to Valinor since the war of Wrath, they still knew how the race of Men had developed since the First Age.
"Shall we taunt her with having to giving birth to a dozen of brats that she have to take care of herself since she is too poor to afford servants to help her out like with Luthien, and in other lives be set aside for another wife because she is found out to be barren? Dying in a young age before she even have a mature body to be wed in, or from a old age all alone because her relatives is already gone from life?" Oromë suggested with a slightly feral smile. A giggle was heard in his ear, as a kiss was placed on his jaw.
"Yes! And showing her that favoring her dead daughter is not a healthy manner of handling the younger members of the family, given that Luthien and her mortal caused a lot of trouble for the Elven realms without thinking of how things could go in the larger scale of events."
Oromë smiled at the sound of Celegorm teasing Dior in the magical image, despite that he had to be in some pain now from being mounted so hard and kept down with several vines around his arms and legs too, some which even turned out to be thorny. There was little doubt that Melian had neglected the important task of training Dior in how to use his Maia powers now when he had chosen to be among the Eldar.
"I will only use Dior quickly as a bait for Melian, neither he or Celegorm will be aware of it. I will be back as soon as I can, so please do not use thicker arrows to pleasure yourself again during the wait, sweet Flower of mine."
To ensure that she would indeed wait for him, Oromë took with him the wooden arrows without a metal head, the thickest ones.
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Dior was gasping deeply for breath where he now had collapsed on the soft moss, shocked over how intensive his feelings had made him act so out of his normal manners. By the stars above, what had he done?
"Before you starts feeling guilty over mounting me that rough, so do I think that you honestly needed that, since you care too much about your wife to try anything similar with her. You already feel a lot more calmer in your aura than from earlier today. Imaging that it was your grandfather who finally got a taste of his own medicine?" Celegorm attempted to joke, his voice hoarse from screaming, as he raised his head up. He did feel sore, but nothing too worse than what he had felt before. Sure, he would have some bruises, minor wounds from the thorns and bite marks on his skin for the next couple of days, but it would be worth it since Dior had needed to let out all those feelings without snapping mentally.
Dior refused to look at him, still ashamed over how much it felt like he had lost control over himself.
"...is this the reason to why you did not use your powers back in Doriath? Despite that you could have won the duel and me being the only one to enter the Halls?" Celegorm asked, putting some healing salve over the worst injuries, covering up himself with his cloak over his lap. Dior had not made any movement to dress himself, though.
"...I was never given any training to use or control them…neither when I grew up, or here in Valinor after my rebirth….I think my grandparents really want people to believe that I am unworthy of being the son of my parents..." Dior finally admitted.
"Ignoring everything with the Silmaril, Doriath and that Elwing failed to learn a lesson from your mistakes, I think you clearly are doing better in the job as a parent than your grandparents and parents. Especially as you tries really hard to admit your mistakes and….Huan! Are you eating the midday meal without us?!"
The Hound only barked loudly as if laughing at the question, already halfway eating through a freshly caught bird he had hunted while Celegorm and Dior had been busy with other things.
Far above them, Oromë flew past and landed in a tree, ensuring that Celegorm would not sense him. Using a very small arrow, he caught a tiny part of Dior's Maia powers which he carefully pulled away from the half-Elven,formed that small amount into a shade of a glowing leaf which the Huntsman then held in one hand as he continued away.
~X~X~X~X~X~X
Meanwhile Melian was just outside the Woods. She would have preferred to not enter there at all, but she could feel the raw power of Dior from somewhere inside there, almost like a trail to where he was, at least.
"He is too dependent on Nimloth to leave her and the boys for too long. If I manages to catch him, they should be easy to find as well so all four can be brought home."
Honestly, why was Dior so difficult? Luthien had never caused any problems outside that event with the Silmaril, could not her son be more similar to his mother so everyone did not have to gossip so about him? It was embarrassing, really, especially as he had taken up the throne in Doriath as a King for the last few years of his short life?
"Perhaps it was a mistake to have Nimloth as his wife once we realized that he indeed was old enough to wed and father future heirs to the throne...she is too strong-willed, not as demure as a princess should be...we should maybe have chosen a different bride rather than the easy choice..."
Now, Melian did not just serve Vána, she did also serve Estë, the wife of Irmo. What she did not know however, was that her two mistresses actually had talked about the problematic relationships in Thingol's family over the last years and that Estë had no wish to be associated with a servant who neglected her own family members in that way.
"He is close! I should catch him before he goes deeper into the Woods again…!"
However, Melian was a bit careless now, as she walked straight into the forest. By failing to think of the possibility that it could be a trap and that she should be careful, she showed that she was partly to blame for how Luthien had never been encouraged to think of possible consequences from her actions.
"Dior? Dior, there you are! Get over here, now! Your grandfather and I are so much disappointed over that you vanished like that….!"
Melian was dumbstruck when it appeared that Dior, rather than obeying as she expected, instead got up and started to run away in the opposite direction.
"Stupid boy! It is Nimloth who told you to run at seeing me, right!? We really should annul your marriage to her and and make you wed another, more demure wife who is not encouraging you into foolish….?!"
Suddenly, Melian fell into a deep, black hole in the ground she had not seen even with her Maia powers. As she vanished screaming into the darkness which led straight to the Halls of Mandos, she saw that it had not been the real Dior she had tried to chase, but a simple illusion so life-like that it could have been real.
"Silly woman. Did you forget that I was the one to find the first Elves once so long ago? I am not called the Huntsman for nothing. Now, I think Námo should not have any trouble with trapping her sprit in a mortal body, and my sweet Flower is waiting for for some fun in my bed," Oromë laughed for himself as he blew on the glowing leaf, returning the small power to Dior since the Vala no longer needed a bait.
~X~X~X~X~X~X
Author's note: as I mentioned already on the A/N for earlier chapters, idahlrillion is the inspiration for how Maedhros looks like in this story and she normally draws Maedhros with a blind right eye after his time in Angband for the rest of his life during the First Age, so that is what Celegorm meant with Dior looking a little similar to Maedhros
