Chapter 9. One Damn Amazing Robot
About two weeks and at least 43 hours of Super Smash Brothers Melee after Jack delivered Meg to the Heylin side, a Jack Bot approached its master with a message.
"Sir! A small convoy of cargo helicopters are requesting permission to land their shipment in the backyard!"
Jack jumped up from the video games.
"What? What are you talking about?" He grabbed his coat and goggles from a waiting Jack Bot and started for the door. "C'mon, Meg. Let's find out what's going on."
"Okie Dokie!" said Meg, jumping to her feet and leaving Princess Peach and Gannondorf to stare at each other blankly.
Dashing up the stairs and out the back door to the Spicer Mansion's massive lawn, Jack looked up to see four massive helicopters toting a crate easily half the length and equal the height of the mansion. Jack started up his Heli-pack and, fighting against the overwhelming force of the copter blades, he went straight to a cockpit window for a word with the pilot.
"What the hell is this?" Jack screamed over the roar of the engines and blades.
Down on the ground, Meg came through the back door and just stared at the gigantic crate, mouth agape.
"Holy crap!"
It only took about ten minutes for the well-trained men in brown to land the crate and unbuckle the cables and chains latching it to the helicopters. Standing on top of the crate, Jack signed for the package on one of those electronic clipboards. Once he handed it back to the last deliveryman, the man handed him a crowbar, bid him Good Luck, and scurried up the last rope after the others. As the helicopters titled off and flew away in synchronization, Meg bounced up in one mighty bound onto the top of the crate.
"What is this?" Meg asked.
Jack chuckled to himself quietly, wringing the crowbar in his hands.
"It's my key to finally defeating the Xiaolin monks, once and for all!"
"Really? What does it do?"
Jack raised one eyebrow. He actually had no idea whatsoever as to just what the thing did.
"It's a surprise," he explained. A number of Jack Bots came flooding out of the mansion to begin disassembling the crate. "I'd tell you, but I don't want to say anything out loud when we don't know if we're being watched."
Meg nodded knowingly.
"I see. And, so, when do we get to use it?"
Jack gave an evil grin as his Jack Bots popped the first bolts out of the crate.
"Once the next Shen Gong Wu reveals itself. Ooh, then they'll be in trouble!"
That same evening, circumstances neared bloodshed at the Xiaolin Temple. The four almost-Dragons were at each other's throats.
"This is all your fault!"
"How is it my fault? You're the one who pushed her way too hard!"
"What about all that, like, Girl Bonding stuff?"
"Will you two shut up? It's this kind'a stuff that set such a bad example in the first place!"
"Set a bad example? For what?"
"You mean t'tell me that Fire and Wind here couldn't'a just lit up the canyon and flown down after 'er?"
"It was too late by then!"
"Denial! Total denial! You just didn't want to save her!"
The whole group received this last comment- it doesn't matter who said any of this- with total silence.
"That's a terrible thing to say," Kimiko muttered quietly.
"Well," Clay gasped, but he didn't finish his thought.
"She might be okay," Omi said quietly with a shrug.
"Not likely," Rai retorted, sticking his nose in the air.
"What amazes me," Clay began as he backed away from the group, "is how Jack Spicer spotted 'er fallin' in the middle of the night."
The other three exchanged glances.
"That is a good point," said Omi, raising one eyebrow.
The next three days were quiet and melancholy at the temple. As each monk reviewed the mistakes he or she would or wouldn't admit to having made, Master Fung had produced for them a list of new disciplinary guidelines. They were also about to take Dojo off to Meg's hometown in Great Britain to apologize profusely in person to her parents. Their horrendous trip was cancelled, though, when Dojo had a Shen Gong Wu melt down.
The dragon when zipping through the temple, writhing like an agonized worm.
"Crimson-Red alert! Code thirty two! Move! Move! Move! This one is a whopper! It hurts! It hurts!"
"Dojo!" Kimiko exclaimed at his discomfort.
"No time to talk! No time to do your hair! No time at all! Quick!" Dojo grew to his traveling size and, once the four were aboard, he ripped off straight as a bullet, south.
The monks clung desperately, nearly pulling up scales in their aspiration to hold on.
"Where are we going?" Omi called, but Dojo was too focused on flying to answer. Kimiko pulled her GPS out of her pocket and had to fight to keep it from flying away. Clay had his hat pulled down tight over his head and all his bangs blown back.
"We're headed towards Taiwan," Kimiko said, looking at the map on the little screen.
"That is bad," Omi said over his shoulder. "Taiwan has been nothing but a great big problem for the longest time."
In a few minutes, the ocean came into view, along with the distant island of Taiwan. There were battleships docked in the Chinese ports and jets ready on the aircraft carriers.
The chilly weather and overcast skies suggested rain, but no one noticed. As they came over the water, Dojo began to dive downwards, straight towards the water.
"Okay, Omi! You and me are going for a swim! The rest of you fly and keep an eye out for Jack or Wuya. You can be sure they won't dare pass up THIS one!"
Fire, Earth, and Wind jumped from Dojo and took to the air as their Dragon elements. Omi held onto Dojo's mane and, as the watery form of a dragon surrounded him, Dojo pierced through the surface of the water and brought him straight down. Through the murk, Omi spotted the headlights of the SMART bot striving downwards as well.
Then, Omi spotted what Dojo was heading for. Glowing in the sand, it looked like a fancy calligraphy brush.
Overtaking Dojo, Omi sped down with his Dragon's Blood move and sliced through the water towards the Shen Gong Wu. Just as he placed his pointy little fingers on it amid the sand, a metal claw reached out and took hold, too. Omi looked up to see the glare of Jack Spicer's goggles through the black blast shield of his SMART bot.
This time, Omi thought, we will destroy that robot!
Each tightening his grip on the Wu, they spiraled back to the surface, the light gradually increasing as they rose. When they burst from the water, the pen glowing fiercely, Jack made his challenge.
"Omi! I challenge you and the other monks to a Xiaolin Showdown, Chase Young style!"
"What are you talking about, Jack?" Omi demanded. "That is not any kind of Showdown!"
"It is now!" Jack exclaimed, raising the blast shield. "If Chase can challenge you to a Showdown where something other than Wu is wagered, then so can I!"
The other three Dragons came down and hovered alongside Omi before the SMART bot.
"Fine! What is your wager, Jack? We are not afraid of your robot! That thing is old cap now!"
"Old hat," Rai put in quickly.
"The game is Elimination for the Master Pen! The four of you against me and my robot! I have to eliminate one of you at a time to move on to the next round, but you only have to beat the bot! If I win, you all have to swear that you'll never go in search, or send anyone else in search for you, of another new Shen Gong Wu!"
"What?" Raimundo exclaimed. "We almost have them all, anyway!"
"Deal! And, if we win," said Omi, "you must give up your evil ways forever, Jack Spicer, and go back to High School!"
Jack cringed at the mention of the place.
"Oh, it's a deal, Cue Ball! You're going down!"
"Xiaolin Showdown!"
The Master Pen escaped and flew off to draw a massive circle in the air. The world began to change. The water lurched and rose right off the ground. The ground shattered and rose up into the air, revealing a pit of belching fire below. Jack and the monks were transported down to the bottommost arena, the arena of fire. The fire, water, earth, and sky formed four massive, round platforms, with six towering pillars framing the whole battlefield: one pillar for Fire, one for Wind, for Earth, for Water, for Light, and for Metal.
Looking around, the Monks saw Dojo sitting on the sidelines all by himself on a transparent, lucid platform. Directly across from him, beyond the underground field of flames, they saw Chase Young and Wuya standing by, though Chase looked more interested in the oncoming battle than the Shen Gong Wu. There were a few other shadows of villains, some familiar, but others simply big names in their countries of origin.
"I invited a kind of evil entourage to witness the rise of Jack Spicer!" Jack declared, throwing his hands in the air. He hovered in the air with his Heli-pack. He pointed to a third platform, on which Seek Patience stood watching in her pinstripe suite with Jack's mini SMART. Next to her was Meg, hold a little Spicer pennant flag.
"Meg! You're alive!" the monks exclaimed, almost in unison.
"Damn straight! And kicking! Evil is so much more fun, you guys!"
Omi shook his head and the other monks recoiled in shame, but Jack drew their attention back to the matter at hand.
"Prepare to meet your fates, Xiaolin Dragons! Gong Yi Tempi!"
Something stirred in the fires behind Jack. A massive form rose to meet them, glowing red from the intense heat. Jack backed up against it as a round hatch opened to let him in. The machine towered over them, the fire shimmering on its black armor and the screech of gears slicing through the air.
"Holy…" Clay muttered, staring at the machine.
"What is that?" Kimiko cried out.
Jack broadcast his new, infinitely improved, evil laugh.
"Welcome to the Taiwan Straight, and to your worst nightmare! Meet the Element SMART!"
The new robot was unlike anything any of them had ever seen before. It had an oval shaped torso with two arms, two legs, and a small, tapered tail for balance. It hovered easily with a pair of massive turbines mounted firmly on its back, and directed itself with similar, smaller turbines on its arms and legs. The machinery in its limbs were clearly designed for strength, but it otherwise didn't appear to be armed.
"Element SMART?" Raimundo repeated.
"That's right, Rai!" Jack laughed. As he spoke, Patience whispered the explanation at the same time. "Water extinguishes Fire! Fire burns the Earth! Earth halts the Wind, and," by now, Chase Young, too, recited the ancient lore, "Wind evaporates Water! On your guard, Dragons, and prepare to die!"
