Disclaimer: I no own

Author's Note: PLEASE READ
Okay, now that I have your attention, my computer is a piece of...well...you know, and it isn't sending me your reviews, so if you have anything you'd like to say or any questions, please email them to me at la.vie.boheme at hot mail . com (take out the spaces and piece it together, you can figure that out, right? and yes, those are supposed to be dots.) Now here's Chapter 9, sorry about how long it took, I had to work all weekend.

Also, this chapter is based off of a song, if you can guess before I post the final chapter you'll win an email five (like the Todd, so also include your email address along with your guess) Also, this is the only chapter to not have any first person POV in it, that was in fact intentional.

Now read and review my little reviewing readers!

Chapter 9

Dr. Cox stared through the window of Jace's room, amazed at how clean it had become over night. His shift had ended hours before but he couldn't bring himself to leave yet. He had to wait for the kid to get back.

JD rounded the corner, not even changed for work yet. He had a batch of pictures in his hand that Dr. Cox could only assume he was hoping to share with the patient. Dr. Cox had one that had been found under the girls pillow that he figured must have been special to her.

"Newbie," he shouted down the hallway. "Break room, now. We need to talk."

JD looked nervous as he turned into the room. Dr. Cox followed and sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs. JD stood in front of him.

"So, what's up?" Dr. Cox groaned, this was the hard part.

"Sit down, it's just a talk." JD sat and cast his mentor a smile, Dr. Cox tried to return it but was sure it looked more like a grimace than anything. A shadow from the window cast the doctor in a dark light he was, adding years to his appearance that had surfaced over night. JD noticed nothing, or he didn't show it, but Dr. Cox knew it was there.

"JD, there were some complications last night..."

Time seemed to stop in the room. JD knew what he was talking about before Dr. Cox got a chance to say anything. He took off from the room, making a quick left turn to get to Jace's room faster. Dr. Cox stayed in the doorway, watching the other man collapse to the ground.

It was an eerie silence as JD cried at the other end of the hall, partly out of the pain of losing this patient that was so closely connected to his own life, and partly out of the fear that years ago it could've been him.

And Dr. Cox still stood in that doorway, watching, and wondering why he had stayed.


Somwhere along the lines he had messed up, he just couldn't figure out where. She had been more than a patient to him, she was him. He couldn't help but wonder the same questions that always tagged along with Death. Was she alone when it happened? Was she angry? Was she scared? Was she in pain?

Why did he go home that night...


"Oh my God," Dr. Cox heard Carla gasp as she turned into the hallway. She started to walk towards JD but Dr. Cox stopped her.

"Carla, he needs to be alone right now."

Carla's firey latin attitude began to show itself. "Is that always your answer to everything, Perry? Let the person suffer alone? Just because you can survive with all of that pent up doesn't mean everyone can. I'm going over there..."

"Carla," he said, a little more harshly. "Jace died last night."

The girl stopped in her tracks. "You should go talk to him..."

Dr. Cox shook his head but the girl pushed on. "That's what he'll want, believe me on this, I know best in times like these."

"I don't think I can," he replied. "I don't want to seem like I'm berating him this soon."

"Perry, you aren't just breaking his defenses nad you aren't playing Mr. Innocent, you're just helping. I know you know more about him than I do, whether you'll admit it or not, he'll open up to you. Let him."

"I've told you before, Carla," Dr. Cox said, firmly standing his ground. "I don't do emotion, I never have, never can, and never will."

Carla sighed. "It's your choice."

She turned into the break room, leaving the halls empty except for the two. Dr. Cox help his head and took a deep breathe, looking to the ceiling.

"God, why this girl?" He whispered. "Why can't you just give me a break!"


"JD," Dr. Cox said, draping an arm around the mans shoulder. "JD, it's not your fault, it's no ones fault but her own. I warned you..."

JD looked into Dr. Cox's eyes, his own red with tears and anger. "That's what you think?" He said, his voice slowly rising. "She's dead and you blame her? Don't fucking touch me!" He threw Dr. Cox's hand from his shoulder. Dr. Cox quieted and let him yell. Anger was, after all, a stage of death. JD stood and began to quickly walk away, trying to lose himself in the corridors of the building, praying that no one would see him crying.

"John, stop!" Dr. Cox shouted, using his first name and first name only for the first time. JD turned back around, breathing heavily.

"Dr. Cox, it is my fault," he said, leaning against the wall to hold himself up, letting the emotional flood gates open. "She knew I used to use drugs and she tricked me into getting them for her, but I didn't, I didn't give them to her, I swear. It's in my locker, I'll give them to the authorities, I'll confess everything."

Dr. Cox stoof there in silence, the pieces finally falling together.

"But I'm not like that anymore, I swear," he said, tears falling from the corners of his eyes. "I stopped years ago, I wanted to get better, and I wanted her to get better like I did, and I just want everything to stop hurting. I don't want to feel like this anymore, Dr. Cox, I can't."

JD fell to the ground and layed his head against the wall in a pose that set off an alarm in Dr. Cox's mind, a man destroyed by the loss of a woman. He pulled the picture of the sickly blonde man from his pocket, hi mind finally connecting the two.

Dr. Cox lifted JD and began walking him toward the door. "Come on, JD," he said. "We're going to give you a couple of days off." JD nodded, wiping his face. "Go to the waiting room, you aren't driving hom like this."

Dr. Cox turned into the break room and saw Carla sitting there. He smirked at her, the closest he could muster to a smile.

"Did you talk to him?" She asked. He smiled.

"Yeah, and I thought you'd like to know as well..." Dr. Cox smiled finally, for the first time since they found the girls body. "John is doing just fine."


Author's Rant: So that's the end of Chapter 9, one more chapter left to post and I'll have that up TOMORROW!!!! (I promise this time!)
Be sure to email me thoughts and feelings along with your reviews (that way I know I'll actually get them.) I hope this has answered some of your questions. Chapter 10 should somewhat sum things up. (Never know, I may be planning to sequel you guys, hint hint)