Gail stuffed her uniform in her locker, glad to be finished with the day. She still felt shaken, and disappointed with her performance in the interrogation room. After everything, she didn't even manage to squeeze a name out of the man.

The image of his smile popped into her mind, and Gail hit the locker with her fist to try and quell the rage she felt inside. 'God, what a complete failure.' She thought despairingly.

"Gail." Oliver's voice sounded behind her.

"This is the woman's changeroom, Shaw." She sighed, without turning around.

Oliver cleared his throat. "Yeah, I know that. Anyways, I need to speak with you."

The anger hadn't quite abated by this point, and some of it displaced towards him. "I was just leaving." She said through gritted teeth, turning to face him. "I thought you didn't want to see me afterwards."

To her surprise Oliver didn't flinch, and she finally registered the look on his face. Cautiously blank, the same look she'd seen a hundred times before. Something had happened.

"What is it?"

Oliver gestured towards the door. "Just come with me to my office, Gail."

Perturbed, she followed him down the hall. As they approached, she spotted Traci and Frankie waiting for them. Frankie looked frustrated, Traci just confused.

A horrible thought struck her, and Gail stopped at the threshold of the room. "What happened?" she asked again, looking back and forth between Oliver and Frankie.

Her brain began overanalyzing. If Steve was hurt then Frankie would look more upset, but why else would the three of them be called into Oliver's office? Gail felt sick then, guilt clawing up from the pit of her stomach…

"Perik is dead." Frankie said gently.

'Oh.'

Gail felt a rush of relief, her knees weakening under her. Frankie had to step forwards to steady her. "I thought you would be happy, Peck." Frankie said, her expression concerned.

"I thought… Steve." Gail said weakly, sitting herself in the chair beside Traci.

A pregnant pause.

"Clearly I did not think this through." Oliver muttered to himself, his expression guilty. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Gail huffed a laugh, and beside her Traci crossed her arms. "Really Oliver?" Traci chastised. "What else were we supposed to think, you guys pulling us in here?"

"Okay, okay." Frankie said, holding up her palms. "Seriously, our bad. Yes, Steve is fine. But Perik is dead."

"How?" Gail asked simply. Her mind wasn't capable of asking anything more complex at that point.

"Guards found him curled up on his bed shortly after he was returned to his cell." Frankie frowned. "He slit his wrists with a razor, and bled out before anyone noticed the blood."

Traci exhaled heavily beside her. "Well, that's over at least." She muttered.

"His copy cat is still out there, and I just blew our last chance at getting a name." Gail said bitterly, pressing a palm to her forehead. "What part of this sounds even remotely over to you?"

"Gail, Luke gave me the rundown." Frankie interjected. "He told me Perik never had any intention on telling you anything. He just wanted to scare you…" She crossed her arms. "I don't know, maybe all this was just to have one last chance of talking to you." Her tone indicated that she wasn't convinced.

"Like things are ever that easy." Gail muttered darkly. "So what now?"

Frankie sighed. "The body's on its way to our morgue, escorted by Luke. Now we see if the autopsy will give us anything."

Our morgue. "You can't be serious." Gail protested. She felt sick at the idea of Holly being in the same room as him, dead or otherwise.

"Gail, it's an open investigation." Oliver soothed. "Dr. Stewart is the best, and it's our best shot at getting this guy."

The day was getting too long. Gail felt anxiety beginning to claw at her, the room starting to feel stuffy and too hot. "I need some air." She said weakly, getting up from the chair. No one moved to stop her as she pushed the door open and left the office.


As she moved down the hallway, her phone began vibrating against her leg. Gail pulled it out of her pocket, answering the call as she entered one of the interrogation rooms to have some privacy.

"Are you okay?"

Gail paused for a moment, allowing Holly's voice to wash over her and ease some of the pain in her chest.

"God, no. Not at all." She replied, her voice sounding strangled. Her breath stuttered slightly, and she realized her face was wet. She was crying.

"Oh honey." Holly sighed in her ear. "Luke called me, he mentioned the interrogation. You are so incredibly brave, you know that?"

"Not really." Gail managed. "I'm a total wreck right now."

"That's okay. Anyone would be." Holly soothed. "Honey, I'd give this to Rodney if I could, but I have to do the autopsy. But I'll text as soon as I'm done, and you can come over, okay?"

"Okay."

Some noises sounded in the background. "Gail, I have to go. Luke's here." Holly said quickly. "Please tell me you have someone to stay with until then, I don't want you being alone."

"Yeah, I do." Gail lied, sniffing as she wiped her face. "I'll be okay, really. Thanks Holly."

"Okay good. I have to go now. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay, thanks. Bye." Gail responded, listening until she heard the click of Holly hanging up. She stayed in the dark room to gather herself, not quite ready to go out and face the others yet.

There was a hesitant knock at the door, and Tracy poked her head in. "Hey." She said uncertainly. "Oliver said you might be in here."

Gail wiped her face quickly with the heel of her palm. "What do you want?" she sighed.

Tracy allowed the door to close behind her. "Well," she began, leaning against the wall. "I know that if I need a drink right now, you definitely do." Her face softened. "I haven't been a very good friend lately. I was wondering if you would give me the chance to change that."

Gail was struck by the memory of Traci coming to visit her in the hospital. When Traci had asked her to be a friend, reaching out to a Gail who was broken and hurting. Traci was the only person who could possibly understand how she was feeling, because at that moment it was the same as before. Gail was broken, and hurting. And despite all the crap that the world had thrown at them, here Traci was. Again.

"I'd like that." Gail whispered. Traci gave her a small smile.


"Red okay?" Traci asked, pulling a bottle out of her cabinet.

"Yeah, that's fine." Gail replied, from where she sat on the couch with her legs curled under her. "Thanks."

Traci poured the wine, handing her a glass. They both sat there for a minute, neither of them sure of what to say.

"How's Steve?" Traci ventured, after taking a sip.

Guilt stirred within her. "I'm not sure." Gail admitted. "I haven't talked to him in a while."

Traci smiled understandingly. "It's hard." She offered. "I'm still unbelievably angry with him."

Gail chewed her lip, staring at the glass. "I thought he understood that being a cop was about more than just impressing others, or trying to get to the top. Me and him, we were supposed to be more than just the Peckspectation crap our parents pulled on us." She sighed. "I was so wrong. And he wasn't even remotely the brother that I thought he was… Like, he framed Oliver. Oliver."

"Have you talked to him about that?"

Gail shook her head. "No, just about the trial. I couldn't talk to him without wanting to cry or hit him or something… so I didn't. Then the fallout began hitting me at work, and my parents stopped talking to me, I just didn't want to try anymore. He stopped being my family the moment I heard him spill everything to Andy."

"I'm sorry." Traci said softly. "At first, I thought that I could put everything aside and we could still be us. But then I watched as you cozied up to the D's and Oliver, helping with parade in the mornings, and for some reason I just starting assuming you were the same."

"Oliver made me do all that stuff." Gail said, incredulously. "I would have gladly just curled up in a hole somewhere, or handed out speeding tickets for the rest of my life. But he wouldn't let me." She was hurt that Traci would even remotely group her into the same category as Steve. "Like, have you seen my rookie? That kid doesn't even need a T.O. Oliver only stuck him with me to give me something to do at work."

"I know." Traci replied miserably. "It doesn't make sense. But I was trying to get over Steve and it was just easier to push away anything that reminded me of him."

That at least she could understand. "You pulled a Gail." She said softly. "It might seem easier, but trust me Trace. Pushing everybody away just makes you miserable and emotionally stunted."

"You're not emotionally stunted." Traci objected. "You think you are, but you feel more than most of the people I know. That's why you're such good police."

"Everyone keeps saying that. But I'm just trying to make up for all the crap that I've screwed up. I'm still a cop so I can make up for how shitty my family is. I'm dealing with this Perik crap so I can make up for Jerry."

"Gail…" Traci sighed, but Gail continued.

"Seriously Trace. If I sit back and let Perik have his way, then what was even the point of all this? Jerry should have just let him kill me." Gail finished bitterly.

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that." Traci shook her head. "I told you, none of it was your fault."

"It was though." Gail closed her eyes for a moment, her mother's voice ringing through her head. Saying that if she had been better police, she might not have gotten a detective killed. "I should have checked before opening the door."

"Where are you even getting this from?" Traci exclaimed. "Gail, that shit could have happened to anyone. And you survived, and you've faced down that monster twice now. God Gail, why can't you see how incredible you are?"

"I don't know." Gail whispered. "People keep saying that to me, but then I screw up more, or they leave. That's just how it is, I guess."

Guilt flashed across Traci's face again. "I'm sorry that I was being so selfish. But I'm here now, and I'm still your friend Gail." She paused for a moment. "And I get the sense Holly is here to stay as well."

God. Holly. "Traci, right now Holly is doing an autopsy on the man that she knows drugged and kidnapped her ex-girlfriend. She's read the file on Perik. I'll be shocked if she doesn't take off running after this."

Traci shook her head. "No… I think all of this is just going to make her see just how strong you really are. And she's going to be even more sorry that she left in the first place."

Gail took her first sip of the wine, mostly just to buy time before having to respond.

"I hope you're right, Trace." She said finally. "Because I'm scared shitless that you're not."


Gail gave a small wave as Traci drove away, dropping her off at the frathouse. The last hour or so had been filled with light conversation, like catching up on how Leo was doing and how much Gail hated Chloe.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Traci had asked, as she drove Gail back to her place. "You can stay with me until Holly's done, I just need to finish some paperwork back at the station."

"No, I can't be there right now." Gail said. "I need a break from people… and Chris should be home. I won't be alone."

Traci had looked concerned, but let it go after reminding Gail to be careful.

Gail unlocked the door to the apartment, noting how quiet it was inside. "Chris, are you home?" she called. His truck keys were still on the hook.

No response. It was strange, given that he had worked a night shift the night before. But she figured that he had been asked to stay late.

Gail turned on the TV, turning to the shopping channel to fill the apartment with some mind numbing distraction. It was better than the noise in her head.

She fiddled with her phone while chewing halfheartedly on one of the doughnuts Dov had bought. She really wasn't hungry, but also hadn't eaten all day and she hoped it would quell the anxious nausea she felt.

Gail really wished that someone was home. Anyone. She'd even take Chloe.

She jumped when her phone buzzed suddenly with a text. Gail chastised herself silently for being so high strung.

Lunchbox: Hey, I'm done and Rodney's closing for me. Where are you?

Oh thank god. Gail texted a response immediately.

Gail: At home. I'll meet you at yours?

Lunchbox: Sounds good, see you then.

Gail eyed Chris's keys on the hook, deciding that he wouldn't mind. She grabbed her bag, and headed out to the truck. She sent a quick text to Chris as she left, letting him know that she borrowed the truck. He didn't respond, and she tucked her phone in her jacket pocket.


When she pulled up at Holly's building, there was no parking left in the tiny lot. Gail circled around, taking an empty spot on the street about half a block away. She slung her bag over her shoulder, stepping onto the sidewalk after locking the truck.

The anxious feeling in her stomach had gotten worse. Gail discounted it as a result of the day, just the stress piling up. But she still felt uneasy as she walked by a few cars and a silver minivan that were parked on the street.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard the distinctive noise of the side panel of a van opening, and fast footsteps behind her.

Gail was fast, actually getting the gun out of her bag and squeezing the trigger at the dark form before it reached her.

Instead of going off, the trigger squeezed too easily and the gun clicked. Gail belatedly remembered removing the first bullet, swearing silently.

Her finger pumped the trigger again, but by then the man was too close. He pushed Gail's arm upwards, the bullet firing uselessly into the air. He slammed her into a parked car hard enough for her to lose her grip on the weapon, pinning her front against the vehicle. One of his hands covered her mouth roughly, and she felt a sharp pinch on the side of her leg.

'No, no, no…' her inner voice chanted uselessly, as Gail flailed her arms and legs, trying desperately to free herself. None of her hits were at an angle good enough to hurt him, as he was hugging her tightly against his body from behind. The movement caused the man's hood to fall back, revealing dark hair and a yellowing black eye. She bit the hand against her mouth, making the man yelp and hit her hard in the side.

'That should have hurt.' Gail thought dimly. But she felt no pain, the strength falling out of her limbs and she could no longer feel the ground beneath her feet.

The fear she had been feeling faded away, leaving nothing but a giddy calm that she should have been scared of, but wasn't.

Her vision blurred before darkening, and the last thing she saw before falling into a dark hole was the smile on Ross Perik's face.


Author's note:

I'm sorry.

Just kidding, I'm totally not.