Port-Ed Chapter 9
Created by rcmero
Edited by Yoshermon

Eddy quickly ducked, feeling the wind of the bullet as it passed right over his head in a fraction of a second. He quickly scrambled back into the trench along with Edd.

"Target lost," said the turret in its childish voice as it retracted its arms.

"A trap," Edd said as Eddy regained his composure. The two were in a trench that formed a square around the large room they were in. The walls were extremely high up, and far way in the distance the boys could see a catwalk. However, except for the floor, the trench and the small openings in the walls at various heights that contained turrets, the room was covered in metal.

"I've got an idea," said Edd as he bravely climbed out of the trench.

"I see you," said the turret as it revealed its machine guns. Before it could fire, however, Edd quickly fired a blue portal underneath it and an orange portal on the wall behind it. The turret screamed as it fell through the portals, eventually gaining enough speed to bypass the blue portal on the ground. "I don't blame you," it said as its glowing red "eye" faded out. Edd's victory was short lived, as more openings in the walls opened up to reveal more turrets. Edd quickly dashed back into the trench before they could target him.

"Nice one," Eddy said as Edd fired a blue portal in the wall in front of them. "I can take it from here."

Eddy quickly dashed through the portal and fired one of his own on the wall behind a turret. He fired another on the wall next to him and went through, kicking the turret out of the opening that was off of the ground a ways. Edd joined him and the two made their way up the rooms, deactivating the turrets and portaling to the openings above. When they reached the highest opening, however, they were still a ways under the catwalk. Eddy peered down and saw that one of the openings just a small distance below them had a concrete latch that was hanging above it at an angle. Edd saw this and the two nodded at each other. They both shot blue portals at the latch and jumped from their openings, firing orange portals at the floor below them. The two rocketed out of their respective portals and landed on the catwalk. By the time Edd regained his footing, Eddy was already halfway across the catwalk.

"Wait up!" Edd called as he ran after Eddy.

"Hurry, Double-D! That Gladys or whatever took Ed!" Eddy replied. The two soon reached a long hallway dotted with offices on either side. They checked each one, finding all of them empty. They neared the end of the hallway and found a door, but something caught Edd's eye.

"Wait a minute," he said.

"What is it?" Eddy asked impatiently. Edd went into an office and saw that the computer on the table was running. "It's a computer, so what?"

"Eddy, you remember that writing we found earlier?" Edd asked, "The one that said, 'Login: cjohnson Password: tier3'?"

"Not really, the guy wrote all kinds of crazy crap!" said Eddy, "he kept going on about a cube or something like that and saying the cake was a lie."

"Well, I have a hunch that this isn't a lie," said Edd as he typed the login name and password into the computer. It took a second to process before showing a welcome screen. On the desktop was a single icon that said "Personal Log". Ignoring Eddy's groans, Edd clicked the icon and read the file that popped up.

Aperture Science Data Log
User: Ca2+saw Date: as=1*2+

"Why's the name and date all screwed up?" asked Eddy, taking a slight interest in the file.

"I don't know," said Edd. "It looks like someone doesn't want us to know. Quite a lot of this has been tampered with, but there are still some things in tact."

"Well hurry up, Ed's waiting for us!"

Log #1

Today was a tremendous success! We have just started up our new artificial intelligence system: our Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, or GLaDOS for short. This AI will be a tremendous help with testing, taking care of virtually every aspect of monitoring our test subjects. I hope to see great things from this unit.

Date: ao24+-

Log #2

GLaDOS is working perfectly, as we designed it to. The rather mundane task of monitoring our test subjects is now completely automated, and the results are far more accurate and detailed as well. We recently installed a voice simulator to allow it to talk with a feminine voice, though it creeps me out a little sometimes. Still, GLaDOS is the best thing to ever happen to Aperture, aside from the portal technology we developed a year back.

Date: 11+/*2kj

Log #6

My scientists truly are geniuses. GLaDOS is not only very efficient, but she acts almost like a regular person! To tell the truth, I actually had a conversation with her once! Can you believe that, a man having a conversation with an Artificial Intelligence Unit! However, she said some things that unnerved me a little, but I guess her AI isn't absolutely perfect. But still.....

Date: 24*fds-

Log #10

GLaDOS is starting to worry me. The last five test subjects have all died, and while she says it was due to incompetence, I'm not quite sure. None of our scientists have even had a second thought about the test chambers; GLaDOS has access to rearrange the walls and import any testing apparatus we tell her to, or that she pleases. I'm going to take a look at her hardware to see if there's some kind of malfunction.

Log #11

Date: 7/16

"Hey, isn't today the twentieth?" asked Eddy as he saw the unscrambled date.

"I'm afraid so, Eddy," said Edd, gulping.

Everything has gone wrong; I don't have much time.
To all who see this message, get out of the facility! If you cannot, you must destroy GLaDOS's four proceskl;

The log ended there.

"Freaky," said Eddy as he turned around to walk out of the office. Edd began to log off, but reconsidered and left the computer on. He followed Eddy through the door at the end of the hallway. The boys found themselves in another hallway, though the walls were filled with windows that showed they were in an enclosed catwalk suspended above an incredibly large room. The two boys started to walk down the long hallway. When they were halfway across, the large metal door on the other end slid up, and out of it walked....

"…Ed? Is that you?" Eddy asked in disbelief.

"Why hello, Eddy," Ed said. Eddy ran forward, but Edd stopped in his tracks. Something about Ed's voice bothered him.

"Ed! You're alive!" Eddy shouted as he ran toward his friends.

"Shut your trap!" Ed shouted in a dark tone.

"Ed? What happened to you?" Eddy asked, shocked. Ed simply smiled and cracked his neck. Edd saw a faint glint on the boy's neck as he moved it side to side.

"Eddy," Edd said in shock, "I fear GLaDOS got our buddy."

"Say what?!" Eddy shouted. Ed's dark smile grew broader, confirming Edd's statement. "Why that no good little… Double D, you go on!"

"Are you sure, Eddy?" Edd asked nervously.

"I'm sure. I gotta knock some sense into lumpy over here and you gotta find us a way out of this crazy place." Edd, realizing that Eddy was not going to back down, walked forward slowly. Ed stepped aside in compliance, his evil smile not wavering as Edd passed by nervously. As Ed turned around to face Eddy again, Edd noticed a robotic probe attached to the back of Ed's head.

"So… it all comes down to this, huh, Ed?" Eddy said as he tried to crack his knuckles, though only getting two of them. Ed did not respond.

Edd made his way past an emancipation grill and heard the metal door slam down behind him, sealing him off from Ed and Eddy. He found himself in a small office space containing a table that held a red telephone. The cord, however, was severed. Beyond the office was a big circular room, in the middle of which was a large mechanical structure hanging from the ceiling.
On one of the surfaces were the words "Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System". Edd started to walk forward until a bloodcurdling scream pierced his ears. He ran back toward the door to find no visible way of opening it. Eddy's screams suddenly came to a stop, and the room was once again silent.

"Well you found me. Congratulations." Edd spun around, his face red with anger. "Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far, is my heart," GLaDOS stated, her voice echoing throughout the room. She swung back and fourth slightly as she hung in front of Edd.

"You tried to kill me and now you're trying to kill my friends!" shouted Edd.

"Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day."

"No!"

"I guess we both know that isn't going to happen."

"What did I just say?" Edd said, his annoyance at her starting to replace his anger.

"You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you."

"Oh dear," Edd said, taking an involuntary step back out of fear.

"Deploying surprise in five… four…"

Before GLaDOS could finish, something snapped off and fell from her body.

"… time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me?"

Edd looked at the thing that fell off of GLaDOS. It looked like an orb of sorts, about as large as a Weighted Storage Cube with a purple "eye" on it.

"That's not the surprise. I've never seen it before."

Edd started to walk towards the orb.

"Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later. BY MYSELF. Because you'll be dead."

Edd ignored GLaDOS. He held his Portal Gun up to the orb and picked it up.

"Where are you taking that thing?" GLaDOS asked, her voice suddenly becoming worried..

"None of your business," he replied, looking around the room. Near the back he saw an incinerator, the same kind in which he "killed" his Weighted Companion Cube. He walked over to it, his memories of the Weighted Companion Cube quickening his pace and filling his gut with rage. He set the orb down next to the closed incinerator and fired a blue portal on the wall near it. Taking a second look around the room, Edd found a sort of indoor shack on the wall a ways from the incinerator. He fired a portal near it, facing the entrance to the metal bungalow. Inside it was a pedestal button, and Edd smiled. He walked through the portal and pressed the button, feeling a wave of heat brush past his back as the incinerator opened up. He grabbed the orb and tossed it in, causing a small explosion.

"Yooouuu're kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?" GLaDOS said, her voice worried and confused, "That has got to be the dumbest thing that whoah… whoah… whoah… whooooah." GLaDOS's voice suddenly changed. It became smoother, more seductive and less computerized. Edd felt a tingle go up his spine as she started to laugh. "Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did."

"Wh-what was it?" Edd said, fear welling up inside of him.

"It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin, to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin." she stated. Edd's mind raced back to the journal entries he'd read earlier.

"So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters" The monitors suddenly displayed a countdown timer with only six minutes on it.

"By the way," GLaDOS continued, "deploying surprise in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1."

An orange portal popped up on a wall, and out came...

"…Ed?!?" Edd shouted.

Behind Ed, unbeknown to him, came Eddy. He was injured, bleeding from his left arm, but alive.

"I ain't done with you yet!" Eddy shouted as he tackled Ed. The boys fell to the ground, wrestling each other until a sudden explosion caught their attention.

"That core may have had some auxiliary responsibilities," GLaDOS started, "I can't shut off the turret defenses."

Near the GLaDOS on the floor was what looked like a turret, only it was attached to the ground by a group of hydraulic arms and its eye was green. It pointed its targeting laser at Ed and Eddy and gave off a loud beep, its green eye turning orange. After a second, a small rocket fired from it and shot towards the boys. Eddy managed to break free of Ed's grasp just in time, but Ed was caught in the rocket blast. He flew a couple of feet backwards and hit the wall, but he recovered quickly.

That gives me an idea, Edd thought to himself. I just need to snap Ed out of it.