Jake and his little sister were standing still at the end of the hall, him holding his sister in his arms so she could look at my photograph.
Lily was simply enjoying the picture because she naturally loved wolves but Jake was looking at it with curiosity and interest. He looked at me as I walked up, a curious gleam in his eye.
"So where did you take this one, it's a beautiful wolf." He said. I couldn't agree more it was one of my favorites, the one where a lovely and strong grey wolf had come close to me near the fence and looked straight into the camera.
"The zoo actually, I always wished I could get closer seen them in the wild, but that was never really possible." I said confidently.
Jake put Lily down and she wandered off into the kitchen playing with Natty.
Jake and Billy were looking at the picture now.
He turned to me with those eyes that made me want to melt and smiled.
"Why do you like wolves so much, Lilah." Billy asked, Jake nodded in agreement to the question. It was an easy answer.
"I've always loved wolves, ever since my mom died. I would go to the zoo and I recognized something that I had lost…that the world didn't appreciate anymore. Family. Looking at a pack of wolves you notice an incredible bond, one that is there even if the wolves aren't related. I know that part of my interest was that I was jealous of it, I felt alone and yet I looked at these wolves and saw something incredible in them, no individual was ever alone. Even if a mother died her young were always cared for. You don't see that anymore in humans, now it's all space and boundaries and dividers." I said, my heart pinching slightly.
I took my eyes away from the picture and looked at the two men before me. Billy looked impressed and seemed to understand. Jacob's gaze almost made me want to cry, and I couldn't understand why. He looked so sad, a huge amount of empathy just radiated from his dark eyes.
I felt my heart melt, my boundaries wanted to quiver and break. Everything I had feared simply wanted to disappear when I looked into his eyes.
"When did your mother die?" He asked kindly.
I mentally shook myself before answering.
"When I was ten, from cancer." I said.
"I'm am sorry for your loss, we lost my wife, his mother when he was younger as well. It's a loss that never really leaves." Billy sad, his voice echoing a pain that he still wrestled with.
I nodded as we made our way to the table.
Many more people arrived, everyone I had met from the previous night, and two new faces.
Leah, and Sure Clearwater. Leah seemed reserved and angry in nature while Sue was kind and wise when she talked to me.
Everyone arrived quickly and we all dug into the food. I was happy to see that Jake decided to sit next to me and Lily next to him.
Billy sat next to Lily and Sue next to him.
Jake and I chatted while we ate, talking about things we liked and just chatting absentmindedly.
Finally we finished eating and a young woman that came to pick her up, her current babysitter that was moving away soon, escorted Lily home.
I felt my face grow hotter as everyone's talking slowly died down.
Sue finally addressed the table.
"First off, we have a very important matter to attend to, dealing with our newcomer, Lilah Weldner.
Now before we get to that matter, I think it is important for us to understand how she came to be with us a bit better.
I know that it will tell us a lot about her character. Lilah, will you tell us what happened between you and Natalia. How did you meet first off and how did you come to know each other?" Sue asked as everyone turned to stare at me.
I sat straight up in my chair took a deep breath and pulled on my confidence.
"I was taking photos of the wolves exhibit one day at the zoo when I noticed her watching me. It wasn't weird when she came to talk to me, it was surprisingly quite natural.
From there we simply began to hang out, she became a mentor to me.
My mother had died when I was ten and since then…I had become a machine it felt like. The only thing I ever did that I loved was photography but I had given up everything else. She cheered me on as I took up dancing again and for the firs time I felt like I ha come home. It sounds strange but home for me had become a strange and barren place.
My father wasn't the same person, always angry and sometimes that anger fell on me. Natalia began dating my father, whom I found out later, was so she could still see me without him becoming angry. That's how we met and became close friends." I said finishing and waiting for the next question.
Sue was nodding in understanding her eyes deep in thought.
"And how did you end up here. What events transpired that led to you coming here?" Sue asked.
I looked at Natalia first.
"Is it okay if I tell them about your relationship with my father?" I asked unsure if it was my part to tell.
Natalia nodded and smiled reassuringly. She seemed so confidant, compared to me.
"Well, weeks passed and she and I became closer. There was a problem though and as the weeks passed I was growing more and more aware of it. My father always came home frustrated…because Natalia hadn't slept with him yet.
I knew because he told me and it was easy to tell why he was frustrated.
The thing that scared me though, was that he was getting angrier and more restless. More than once he let his frustration out on me, but I was relieved every time Natalia came to visit me unmarked.
One night though I could feel that everything was going to explode. My father was angrier, and he looked like had made up his mind. He would have her whether she wanted to or not.
They left around nine and I went about the house hiding any sharp object I could find. When they came home before at eleven I knew that he was trying to force himself on her. I grabbed the bat I had ready and ran downstairs hitting him until he let go of her. I pushed her and made it so she could go get help, she ran out to get the police…."
I paused for a moment unsure of how to continue.
I could feel Jakes hand suddenly find mine under the table and I suddenly let out the breath I had been holding. He seemed angry, almost shaking a little with the anger I could feel radiating off him. Wolves were always prone to a temper; they probably gained the same trait.
I took a deep breath and continued, making eye contact with the table.
Everyone was serious, and astonished by the story.
"When she was gone I realized I had forgotten a weapon in a drawer in the living room. He brought the whip out, and I'm sure you can guess what happened.
When I woke up I was in the hospital my father was in jail and I was alone.
My father is the only family I have. Natalia was there and she asked if I would want to live with her, if she could adopt me. And I said yes, it was everything I ever wanted and more." I said finishing and sitting back for a second.
Sue looked at me with curious eyes, understanding eyes.
"You are a brave young woman. That much is for sure. I wonder though, why didn't you run out and get the cops. Most young adults would leave the older one to handle the pain and the younger one would find help. Why did you push her out of the way and take the pain yourself." She said in a serious tone.
I was shocked; it was as if she had seen straight through me. I didn't even need to say that is what I did and she knew.
"It wasn't really a choice I guess.
When I met Natalia the thing that really caught my attention was an innocence that she had, not to sex, but to the world. It was like she believed in it; she hadn't been shown the monsters that lie in the dark. She told me about her family and friends and this whole place on many occasions.
It was incredible, a place that I could only imagine. When the weeks became strained with my father I never questioned that I would step in front of his hand.
The last thing I wanted was for that innocence that she had to be broken. I…I always felt that she deserved it. I mean she has you guys here and she is loved by so many.
I'm just a simple girl in a broken, home. Why would I be selfish and have her broken when I already am broken, I couldn't let her come back home to a place she loved destroyed because of him.
When the time came it wasn't a choice it was just a fact to me." I said looking down at my plate.
I looked up to Natalia, and tried not to cry when I saw thin tear streaming down her face.
I could feel Jake's hand still holding mine tightly under the table. The most comforting thing to me and surprising thing was that he was still holding it still accepting me after everything had said.
The eyes that looked at me from the gang that hung with Jake were astonished. Even Emily looked close to tears. Many of the guys looked impressed but seemed to understand the sadness of the situation.
I looked to Sue and Billy now whose expressions seemed softer and more understanding.
"First off Lilah I want to thank you for your sacrifice. Having Natalia come home unharmed is the best gift her friends and family could ever have. And second you are worth more than you think. You may be broken but you aren't worthless…far from it." Sue said.
I felt my eyes begin to tear up, as one hot tear after another seemed to cascade over my face.
I should have been embarrassed to reveal so much in front of practical strangers but I wasn't. Sue had hit the mark with her last statement; deep down I always felt that I wasn't worth it.
"And now, Natalia can you grab the folder please. It seems that our newcomer has figured out a pretty large part of our secret. I will have Natalia pas the photos around and Lilah if you will explain how you came to your conclusion and how you feel about it." She finished as the photos were passed around. I waited until Jake held the one of him looking straight at me before I started.
His hand had released mine and I looked at him. He was surprised and worried, I am sure most of him was wondering how much I had guessed.
"Well, Natalia had told me many of the legends of your tribe when we talked earlier.
But I doubt that either of us knew that I would be living with you guys in the future, so please don't be mad for her telling me them.
I found them incredible and amazing. Last night actually, I was out taking photos and I heard a wolf howl pretty close to me.
I probably should have gone back inside to be safe but I didn't really feel scared. I sat in the bushes and waited for a long time, before an incredible wolf appeared.
Larger than any I had ever seen and more…beautiful than any I had ever lay eyes on. I sat there and began to take pictures I probably should have been scared but a big part of me felt comfortable, as if I knew the wolf, which seemed crazy.
As I took pictures though he looked at me, the he just seemed natural. And those eyes, they looked so familiar. I had seen them a couple times since I had moved here.
They looked sad, lost….but hopeful. When he finally noticed me that's when it clicked. Those eyes they looked exactly like Jake's eyes. The same expression when they looked into mine, the same sadness, the same hope."
I paused to look over at Jake; he looked thoroughly stunned as he looked not my eyes.
"The wolf disappeared after looking at me and I rushed back home to develop the film thinking the whole time about the legends that your tribe had descended from wolves.
When I developed them I showed Natty and she seemed surprised. She said that she wanted to tell me but it wasn't her place.
But I said I would guess and I guessed that the legends were true, and that maybe your tribe or part of them were…shape shifters of a sort."
I stopped and waited for a minute. Truthfully I wasn't sure how to tell them how I felt, every way I put it in my head sounded stupid.
To my surprise Sam spoke up holding Emily close to him who was wide eyed with shock.
"Aren't you scared though? I mean I did this to Emily, and I will never forgive myself. One slip of anger…aren't you scared of that…of us?" He said his voice filled with a deep sadness as he looked at Emily's scars.
She looked back at him with love. She didn't look angry or scared.
"You mean shouldn't I think of you as monsters?" I said feeling slightly angry.
He looked at me and nodded solemnly.
"Never." I said feeling my fists clench, how could they think that.
It was too much, to see him so angry.
"How can you think that? I know monsters, I have met them.
You are not a monster. None of you are. In my opinion Jake looked incredible, I wasn't afraid. Maybe some people would, and maybe I'm stupid but I don't care.
I know that you think that you are a monster because of what happened with Emily but tell me something. Are you sorry for it?" I asked leaning forward in my seat, my eyes dead serious.
He looked at me almost confused for a second before answering with honesty.
"Of course I am, I will never ever forgive myself for losing control and hurting her." He said his voice despondent.
"Exactly. You guys don't know anything of monsters.
Real monsters that walk everywhere and look like you and me. My father was exactly like everyone else but I guarantee you that when he was yelling and calling me a btich and a horrible person that he will never think that he did anything wrong.
That is a monster someone who wants to cause pain.
You will always be sorry, you will always regret you are more human than most of the people I was friends with.
I am sorry to be frank, but I hate it when people see themselves in such a bad light. You guys are protecting the tribe, if what the legends say is true.
How can that make you a monster? Just like the old saying goes you should never judge a book by its cover.
So no, I am not repulsed by the fact that you guys can change into wolves. I don't think you are monsters either." I said feeling my anger slowly subside.
Sam seemed thoroughly surprised now. He looked confused as well. I locked eyes with Emily and I noticed the tears that streamed from her face. She understood the same fact I did.
I looked to Jake next.
He looked at me with disbelief.
His eyes melted my heart. I felt so connected so incredibly attached to him I couldn't even begin to explain it.
"You should be proud of the gifts you have. They are gifts, they may have drawbacks but it allows you to protect the ones you care about most." I said looking into Jakes eyes.
He seemed speechless and unsure of what to think.
"Well Lilah, I think both Sue and I whole heartedly agree that you are worthy to hear our secrets. You are a friend of the tribe and we should all think of more as part of it seeing that Natalia is adopting you." Billy said and Sue nodded along with him.
That seemed to wake everyone up.
The boys around me looked excited as they bounced around in their seat like little kids. All of the sad points of my speech were long forgotten it seemed like everyone wanted to celebrate.
I looked at Jake again as everyone talked about what had just happened.
"Are you okay, I said laughing and smiling slowly?
He seemed to shake his head a bit before speaking.
"Yeah, it's just a lot I guess. So you saw me?" He said.
I nodded and smiled.
"You were incredible." I said beginning to blush.
"I still see myself as a monster of sorts." He said looking at his hands.
I put my hands in his, they were so warm, and it almost felt like he had a fever but it felt nice at the same time. I always seemed to run at a cold temperature.
"Hopefully my friendship will change that." I said smiling at him. His face broke into the most incredible smile I had ever seen. I felt my heart flutter and my stomach summersault as he looked into my eyes smiling like a fool.
He pulled me into a big hug that seemed to last forever. The warmth he radiated was incredible.
I pulled back with a deep blush lining my cheeks.
He seemed to laugh at my reaction but I didn't care.
My attention was drawn to the rest of the group.
I learned quite quickly and from many different people that when in wolf form the pack (which only included the younger boys, Sam and Lead) could speak with each other in their minds and hear what the others were thinking.
I also learned that they simply ran at a higher temperature and having a shirt off helped also the fact that phasing as it was called would cause their clothes to break. Carrying a shirt was too difficult, just shorts were much easier.
Vampires did exist, and when one moved in other than the Cullen's whom I found out Bella had fallen in love with one of the members (ironic huh) the fever sets in and members change into wolves to protect the town and village.
I learned that they were super fast and super strong and they healed much faster.
Which I thought was interesting because it turned out that part of Emily's cream was made of the boys spit.
Gross but totally made sense based on how fast I healed.
When they get angry they change and have to be careful.
They have a thing called imprinting where in a sense they find their soul mate with one glance. That caught my attention and part of me wondered if that was what I was feeling. What if Jake had imprinted on me like Sam had on Emily. For now though I think I had enough to handle being a new friend to these shape shifters who also referred to themselves as werewolves.
The night went on smoothly after that and I was sad to see everyone leave.
The guys got together before they left and each gave me a hug welcoming me.
"Hey so were still on for tomorrow right. Emily will be there too, Natty can come if she wants too." Jake said looking at me with such boyish hope it made me laugh.
I loved his innocence and hope when he looked at me, it was toxic.
"Of course I'm coming. Natty won't be she is actually going to be visiting Sue she said. But I will be ready at 11 for yah. I can't wait." I said giving him a big hug and holding on for as long as I could before it would seem awkward.
"Thank you." He whispered huskily in my ear before letting go. My skin was dancing despite my efforts to calm myself. I just smile like a fool and nodded watching all of them leave playfully punching Jake and snickering at our hug.
Boys, I thought with a laugh.
I helped Natty clean up in silence as we both thought about the night that had just transpired.
"Well I had a feeling it would all end well." She said as we walked up to bed.
"Will you be okay waking up tomorrow I have to leave early."? She asked as we reached the top step.
"Yeah I'll be fine." I said with a smile.
"Alright, well I'll leave the door unlocked though just in case you sleep through the alarm clock so Jake won't think you bailed on him." She said laughing. I almost wondered if that would happen I felt like could sleep for days.
We hugged goodnight and as I lay down I smiled at my incredible fortune.
It was too good to be true, but I wasn't going to doubt it. I just want to roll with life right now and enjoy every second I have.
I drifted off quickly into lovely and peaceful dreams filled with Jake in his wolf form so warm and soft sleeping next to me in the woods.
