Writers comment: Hey guys! Look an update after...Some amount of time! Really sorry how this chapter turned out. I've been really busy with conventions and everyday life stuff? (Pfft more like Tumblr, and DeviantART.) This didn't come out how I would of liked it, But i'm pretty tired and it was a last-minute-before-i-go-to-bed thing. Really sorry ;~; - Kodiie/Wolfie.
Chapter 9 - It all came crashing down.
Your world, Your castle...Your empire, Has come crashing down around you. The sky is smashed and broken, The stars are dull and grey leaving you in the dark, with no light. Your little shred of light has flown away and left your empty and scared. You don't want to be alone. You don't like this...Please...Please come back...
You drop your phone to the floor and stand there in complete shock. Dave overdosed? Your Dave? You best friend DAVE? You feel yourself start to shake and the tears begin to spill over your eyes. You hear Gamzee on the other end of the line but you simply couldn't care at this moment of time. You stare at your wall for a little longer before picking up your phone and hitting the "End call" button. He'll understand. You throw your phone onto your bed and crawl under the covers shaking. This can't be happening! You can't be losing another friend like this!
"Not again..."
You pull the covers over your head as you shake more. You wanted to scream your lungs out. You wanted to rewind time and undo this mess. You wanted to just take their problems and fix them...But you couldn't..and you knew you couldn't...but you were going to try again anyway.
Let's time skip a head by...lets say a week and a half!
== Snap and break down.
You stare at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes were getting worse but you soon learned to not care. You look away from the mirror and begin to shake slightly. "Sh-shit...I can't do this...I can't go in..." You perk your head up slightly at the sound of your brother calling your name. You swallow and tense up as you pick up your phone with shaky hands.
It was a Wednesday, The one day of the week you had begun to hate with such a fiery passion it scared you. You could practically feel your social anxiety rising to the surface ever so slowly and it made you feel physically sick -Not that you could do anything about that- as your mind plagued you with thoughts of going into the tech instead of school. See, some of your year group and the one below you went to Tech on a Wednesday and do two courses through out the year. These then become two GCSE's which you guess is better than studying. You despise the place though. You had made a new best friend though! Her name was Nicole. She kept you sane...But their was just people you disliked so much in that class to the point of you just not wanting to face them and their harsh glares. Even though all you did in that class was sit and talk to your new found best friend , listen to music, Text Gamzee, Read fanfics with Nicole that left yous both mentally scarred, Drew with her, wrote your own fanfic's with her or just discussed your fandom's, Tumblr and various bands and games with her, You still just couldn't shake off the looks and whispers. Nicole distracted you with many things but she knew they were always clawing at you. They never stopped, Never loosened up and never lost their grip on you. They stayed with you all the time. Snapping at your heels wherever you went. And you had just about had enough.
You tightened your grip on your phone as Kankris voice faded into your senses. He was ranting and raving at you about something you didn't give a fuck about. You gritted your teeth as you felt the familiar feeling of tears filling your eyes and blurring your vision. You couldn't take this anymore. You were going to snapand break. You were losing the battle. Your demons were winning.
You turn sharply to face your brother, ignoring the fact that you were already crying. "STOP IT! I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS ANYMORE! JUST STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW KANKRI!" You scream at the top of your lungs at him before gripping your hair as you fall onto your bed. "I can't take anymore of this shit! I'm trying to keep everyone alive and keep them safe but it's becoming too much! I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING BREAK!" You keep on crying and shouting things at...Well nothing. You can feel Kankris shocked eyes on you. You knew he was surprised by the sudden change in your mood but you don't care. After your little break down and you finally get yourself and pull in the leashes of your demons. You don't let go of your head or do you dare look at your brother.
"Karkat...What are you talking about..." Of course he would ask that. He never did bother listening to you or believe you about anything.
You swallow and stare at the ground as a few tears drip off the tip of your nose and onto the floor. "...Dave tried to commit suicide... He's cutting again...He won't stop telling me what he does either... Gamzee has been doing it too...So have a few others...They keep coming to me with their problems like i'm suppose to fix them..an-and I try! I really do Kankri! But...It's becoming too much...and i'm scared..." "In case you do something like that too." He finishes for you and you give a weak nod. He nods back, "I wish you would of told me sooner, Karkat... Get into bed...I'm sure you're exhausted." He walks out and closes the door behind him, Leaving you a shaking, emotionally exhausted mess on your bed.
"...I'm so fucking sorry Dave..." Your whisper before sleep swallows you up.
