Chapter 9: Dorset

Kili was waiting at the station. When Fili's train pulled in, Kili spotted him, standing still and looking a little confused among the handful of people now striding down the platform towards the exit.

"Isn't it nice that this time it's me the one who's picking you up?" he laughed.

Fili's eyes narrowed accusingly as Kili led them to his car, a second-hand silver fox that had seen better days but was still shiny and for the most part un-battered. "You can drive!" he said accusingly.

"It's an automatic." Fili grunted in distaste and Kili grinned.

"How was your journey?"

"A bit nerve-wracking. The London Underground is a nightmare. And…" his voice trailed off.

"Not nervous are you?" Kili teased. He patted Fili's leg. "You'll be fine, it's just my mum, nothing to worry about. And you're here to see me, aren't you? You can say hello quickly and then we can barricade ourselves away and not talk to her again! Besides, don't you meet strangers for a living?"

Fili rolled his eyes but seemed reassured. They were swooping past green fields and quaint little cottages neatly encased within low stone walls. By some miracle it was a gloriously sunny day, despite being February. Fili had to admit that he did like England in the sunshine. He rolled his window down, and instantly regretted it when a blast of icy air hit him in the face. The sun in England is very misleading, he concluded as he wound the glass up hastily.

The silver fox took a sharp left through an open gate leading to a small red-brick house. They got out of the car, feet crunching on gravel. Kili smirked as Fili shivered. "Bit nippy are we?"

Fili glowered, but hastily rearranged his features into a small smile as a woman with dark hair, who could only have been Kili's mother, opened the front door.

"I thought I heard you drive in. Get inside, before you freeze to death!" Fili was all too grateful to comply.

"I'm Philip, pleasure to meet you," he said politely, sticking out his hand. Dis smiled and shook it warmly with both of hers.

"Lovely to meet you too, Kili's told us all about you."

"Bad things," Kili shot over his shoulder, where he was hanging up his coat.

"Good things," Dis corrected. "Take Philip's coat, you rude child."

"You can call him Fili if you want." Kili snagged Fili's coat on a hook and took off after his mother into the kitchen. "Mmm, I smell something good. You didn't tell me you were baking!"

"If I had, none of the rest of us would have gotten any. You're not allowed to eat a single one, I'm saving them for tomorrow." Kili peered through the glass oven door at the rising muffins with a mournful groan.

Dis turned back to Fili and sighed, though she sounded more amused than exasperated. "Sorry Philip, my son does take liberties…"

"You can call me Fili," he replied quickly. "It was a family nickname… that clearly escalated."

Dis smiled. "Alright – Fili. How long are you in England for?" Dis' smile was broad and kind, before he could reply, something furry bashed into the back of his knees.

"Oi! Bella! Behave!" Fili smiled down at the black lab as it sniffed interestedly at his fingers.

"Oh, don't worry, I love dogs. I have four of them at home."

"Four?! You must have a garden and a half."

"Well it's not my house and actually they're not entirely my dogs, they – "

But before he could get any further, he was interrupted for the second time by the doorbell ringing, promptly followed by the sounds of the door opening, a rustling of plastic bags and movement in the hall. Kili straightened up, confused. "Who's – Uncle Thorin!"

"Hello, Kili," a dark-haired man greeted him, just as another head popped out behind him.

"Uncle Frerin!" Kili cried gleefully, leaping to his feet and bounding across the room.

"How's my favourite nephew!" Frerin cried, laughing as he lifted Kili off his feet in a bear hug.

"Your only nephew, you mean," Kili chided.

"Then my favourite and least favourite nephew," he quipped as Dis groaned: "Honestly, I don't know why you bother ringing the doorbell if you just charge in anyway!"

Kili sidled up to Fili. "This is a bit of a baptism of fire," he muttered, grinning. "This is my uncle Thorin…" Fili shook hands with the man. He was very tall, with broad shoulders and piercing blue eyes. Looking around, Fili saw the same striking sky-blue eyes on all three siblings; they contrasted vastly with Kili, whose eyes were like burnt umber, almost liquid in most lights. They reminded him of the eyes of antelope he had seen. Thorin had long hair, with streaks of grey at the temples and a burly black beard, neatly trimmed.

"… and this is my uncle Frerin." Frerin shook hands with him, beaming. Frerin appeared to be in around his late forties, with the same dark hair as his siblings although it seemed almost a little faded, as if he spent a lot of time outdoors.

"This is my friend Fili."

"Ah, you're the famous Fili!" Frerin exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "I do a lot of travelling myself, I'm looking forward to hearing all about Kenya."

"Be careful, he can talk the leg off a horse," Dis called a warning over her shoulder, pulling the muffins out of the oven. She tested them, pressing her fingers lightly to their domed surface and they sprang back obediently. Satisfied, she began laying them out on a cooling rack. She winked at Kili. "That's where we got this one from."

Kili was helping Thorin unpack the bags of shopping he and Frerin had brought in. He turned around and stuck his tongue out at his mother.

Eventually, someone made tea and the five of them traipsed into the living room to sit around the coffee table. Kili's house was nice, the furniture well loved but still in good condition. Everything in it looked as if it had earned its place and each seemed to have a story to tell, from the mismatching eclectic cushions on the sofas and armchairs to the hand-painted mug full of fragrant tea Fili gripped in his hands. He stroked Bella absently with one hand as he answered the questions Kili's curious family asked him.

Kili, for once, didn't say much, just grinned at Fili, glad to see he was getting along well with his mother and Frerin at least – Thorin was quiet, but then again, he always was.

Dis looked up as her son sauntered casually back to the kitchen. "Hey! I said those weren't for you!" Kili grinned mischievously around the mouthful of lemon and poppy seed muffin stashed in his cheeks.

Fili had never seen Kili this cheeky. It was rather endearing.

"Come on, Fili, I'll give you a tour of the house," Kili offered, jumping up and taking Fili's empty mug out of his hands and placing it unceremoniously on the floor.

Fili had already seen the open-plan kitchen-dining area and the living room. Kili showed him the tiny toilet concealed in the cupboard under the stairs. Upstairs was a small landing with a bathroom and three bedrooms; Dis' room was en-suite. The house was undeniably cosy.

They went into Kili's room and sat down on the bed. It was small and simply furnished, with a single bed and a pale wooden desk pushed against the window, a chest of drawers nestled in a corner. Fili smiled as he recognised a map of Kenya pinned to the wall next to the bed.

"Sorry about that downstairs. I didn't realise the whole family was coming, and by the sounds of it you'll meet even more of them tonight."

"That's okay. You met my family when you were last over! All the important members of it, anyway."

"What do you think?"

Fili had long decided he liked all of them, even if Thorin intimidated him slightly. He hadn't said a word practically since Fili had arrived, only asking Kili in a low rumbling voice to pass him the sugar for his tea.

"They're wonderful," he said honestly. "But Thorin's a bit scary."

Kili laughed. "He's always like that. He's quite intense, but he's got his heart in the right place. I think he's just quite shy – seems odd doesn't it, compared to my mum and Frerin! He owns a mining company, and Dwalin, that's his business partner, is probably coming over tonight. They've been friends forever and he's a big softy, despite anything he says..."

Fili wasn't sure what that meant, but decided to remember it when the time came.

They were called downstairs for lunch, consisting of hot soup and fresh bread.

"Did you make this, Dis?"

"Yes, I hope you like it."

"It's fantastic!" Fili wondered how all of Dis' talent in the kitchen appeared to have bypassed her son.

After lunch, Dis looked outside and wrinkled her nose. "It looks like it's going to rain later. Would you boys mind taking Bella out for a walk? She needs the exercise and if you go now you might miss the storm."

"You'll need to borrow some clothes," Kili told him, dragging Fili into the hallway and opening a closet. He tossed out two pairs of wellies and held out two heavy Barbour jackets. "Mum and Dad got these years ago, before they were fashionable. Almost twenty years old, but they're still waterproof."

Fili pulled on the wellies and the jacket dubiously. To top it off, Kili hooked a farmer's cap onto his head. Fili glanced down at himself awkwardly.

"I feel like a twat."

"Oi, that's my regular Sunday walking-the-dog-outfit you're talking about." Kili grinned as he shrugged on his own jacket and boots.

He led the way down the drive and into the fields. The terrain under their feet alternated between crunchy frost-covered grass and squelchy mud. Fili mentally reiterated his decision never to trust British weather.

They climbed over a fence and on the other side Kili unclipped the leash. Bella bounded ahead, racing the flurry of small birds she had disturbed hiding in the stubs of wheat.

"How's your mum?"

"Fine, fine… She keeps treating me, it's as if she thinks she can persuade me to see more of her if she plies me with new clothes and days out whenever I'm over."

Kili glanced sideways at Fili and noticed for the first time everything he was wearing looked very new. He looked as if he'd had a hair-cut as well, though it was pulled back in its usual scruffy bun. Kili tried to resist the urge to lean back and check out his behind in his new well-cut Levis and failed.

"Can't say I'm complaining. Your arse looks fabulous in those jeans."

Fili laughed aloud as Kili suddenly blushed, and Fili realised that once again Kili's mouth had spoken before his brain had given him permission to.

"You can have them. I hate designer clothes. They cost too much."

"Well, apart from being spoiled to death, which only you could possibly moan about, is it nice being home?"

"Mmm," Fili hummed noncommittally. Home.

Kili glanced over at him questioningly and Fili tried to explain himself.

"Well, this is hardly home for me is it? Of course, my family is English and in Kenya we white Kenyans stick out like a sore thumb… but at the same time I can't help feel like a stranger here. I hardly know where I stand. I think I've come to realise that home is people, more than a place," he concluded, rather lamely, he thought.

"I'm so sorry," Kili blurted out. "I'm so stupid, should have thought my words through more carefully. I didn't mean it."

"Why are you apologising?" Fili asked in surprise. When Kili bit his lip he realised Kili thought he had offended him. He smiled to show he had done nothing of the sort.

"You can be so silly. I'm not upset. C'mere," he said, coming to a halt and opening his arms.

Kili's mouth cracked into a sheepish grin before he walked into Fili's arms and hugged him tight. He could feel Fili's heart thumping in his chest and wondered if Fili was as nervous as he suddenly was. He looked up at Fili through his lashes and decided to be brave.

It was a sweet kiss, cold lips against cold lips, which blossomed into warmth as they slid over eachother, tender and caressing with every move. Fili wanted to commit every detail to memory, his fingers clutched on Kili's jacket, one of Kili's hands on his shoulder, the other pressed against his chest, vague birdsong in the background, the biting chill that still numbed the tip of his nose and the icy breeze suddenly freezing his cheeks, making him pull away abruptly then smile as he drew Kili into him for a hug.

"I'm fucking freezing," he whispered. "Any chance we can go inside?"

"I raise you one hot chocolate," Kili replied. "if that is agreeable."

"That is most agreeable."

Kili served up some hot chocolate with the help of his trusty friend Mr. Cadbury (Fili said yes to whipped cream but no to marshmallows) and walked into the living room with two mugs to see Fili examining some of the photos on the mantelpiece.

"Is that your dad?" he asked softly, pointing at a photo of a blond man with his arms around a child on his knee; the black-haired child was missing its two front teeth and could only have been Kili.

"Yes."

"He looks nothing like you," Fili said before he could stop himself – it seemed Kili's lack of thought before he spoke was contagious. He kicked himself as Kili's face fell.

"Yeah, I know," he said lightly. Fili wasn't fooled and gave him an apologetic hug.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, it's only the truth," Kili said with a low, humourless laugh. "Everyone says it. But I have his eyes though."

"That's for sure." The glittering chocolate eyes sparkling back at him through the glass were unmistakable.

"Interesting look…" he commented, staring at another photo of Kili's dad, bald, and pulling a daft expression as he posed next to Dis.

"He lost his hair after chemo. He first got cancer when I was really small," Kili told him.

"I meant the silly face," Fili said softly, giving Kili's hand a squeeze.

"Oh." They stared at the photos, the figure so full of life and love who now existed frozen in time in home-made picture-frames, tacked with sequins and dry pasta and drawn-on smiley faces, ink bleeding into the grains of the wood.

"They wanted more kids," Kili said, so quietly Fili almost didn't catch the mumbled words. "But the chemo made him… unable to." He turned to Fili, biting back the moisture that threatened to rise in his eyes. "Don't ever be sorry for having a twin, Fili. A sibling was the only thing I ever really wanted in the world."

Fili grimaced comically, trying to lighten the mood. "You say that. Even a sibling like Tory?"

"You know, you really shouldn't complain about Tauriel, you're much more similar than you think."

"What? How can you say that?" Fili cried in not entirely mock outrage.

Kili grinned wickedly, glad to note that the tears had stopped pricking at his eyeballs.

"Such a stirrer, you are," Fili muttered, sipping broodily on his hot chocolate.

"Aren't you boys too old for cartoons?" Dis scolded, walking in on them half an hour later sprawled on the sofa in front of cartoon network.

"It's Tom and Jerry," Kili whined.

"And you've had hot chocolate! You're going to spoil your appetites."

Kili gave her a look expressing the sentiment 'Oh, please'.

"As if anything could spoil your appetite," Dis conceded with a laugh. "Why don't you go help your uncles in the vegetable garden?"

"No need," Frerin piped up, suddenly emerging behind her, a streak of dirt on his face and traces of weeds under his filthy fingernails. "Is that Tom and Jerry?!"

Fili and Kili laughed as Frerin bounded towards them and plonked himself on the floor in front of the television. Dis and Thorin exchanged a withering look, then closed the door to the living room behind them with a pointed snap.

An hour later, Dis, who had refused all Fili's offers of help ("Kiss-ass," Kili muttered), opened the door and announced that dinner was ready. As they entered, Frerin immediately being sent out to "Wash your hands, your nails are shocking!", Fili laid eyes on the most enormous man he had ever seen. He liked to pride himself as being fairly muscular, but this man dwarfed him in both height and brawn. To top it off, his meaty hands and his shiny bald pate were both covered in swirling ink and his ears contained so much metal he looked as if he'd set off a metal detector with a mere glance.

"Hi Dwalin." Kili, far from quailing at the sight of this monster, smiled up at him. "This is my friend Fili."

"Pleasure," Fili said feebly, holding out his hand. To his surprise, Dwalin's grip was firm but gentle.

"Nice to meet you." His voice had a pleasantly lyrical Scottish accent, and Fili felt strangely put at ease, an ease that lessened considerably as Thorin sat down next to him at the dinner table.

"Dis, Dis, Dis, you sit down," Dwalin chided, flapping her away from the kitchen. "We'll get this. Come on Kili!"

Kili got up and he and Dwalin brought the rest of the food through.

It turned out that Dwalin, as well as being a family friend and Thorin's business partner, was also Kili's godfather. Before he left, he pushed a twenty-pound note into Kili's hands with the words, "Look after yourself. Don't spend this on anything stupid."

Kili's face brightened as he thanked Dwalin, then turned to Fili. "When's your train again?"

"Ten."

"Got time to pop to the pub. My treat?"

"I'm pretty sure 'don't spend this on anything stupid' includes alcohol…"

Kili waved a hand. "He's from Glasgow! I'm pretty sure Dwalin thinks beer is good for you!"

Fili said goodbye to Kili's relatives, Frerin and Dis both giving him a big squeeze and parroting brightly for him to come again soon. Fili was amazed at the pub Kili drove them to – it was the picture of a perfect English pub, with a beer garden, an old-fashioned sign with a picture of a deer painted on it, and golden lit-up letters spelling out 'The Mitre.' Fili thought this must have been how Kili felt in the Mara, as they stepped inside and Fili found himself regaled with memories of every British sitcom he had ever seen – the wooden bar, the attractive oak panelling on the walls, the leather-covered barstools, and the shiny dark high tables and chairs dotted around the place.

They ordered drinks and sat at a table, chatting amiably, Fili resisting the urge to play footsie with Kili under the table. He sipped his pint; Kili had ordered him a snakebite. He had never had one before, but he liked it, the tart beer contrasting nicely with the tangy sweet cider.

"I used to work here," Kili reminisced, gazing fondly around him. "In my last two years of school, and all through uni… it was how I saved up enough money to finally come to Kenya."

"You worked in a bar?" Fili raised his eyebrows over his glass.

"Don't look so surprised! I may be hopeless in the kitchen, but I can pour a mean pint. If you ever fancy a liquid lunch, I'm your man. I can whip up a decent coffee too."

"Kili the barista," Fili imagined, and snickered.

Before they knew it, it was twenty to ten. They piled back in the car and Kili walked Fili onto the station platform. They looked at eachother.

"Well, bye," Fili said, outstretching his arms. They hugged.

"I'll miss you," Kili whispered.

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

They could see the train, approaching slowly, its headlights glinting off the metal tracks. Kili smiled at Fili.

"Don't die on the London Underground."

"I'll try. I'll also try not to get mugged."

"You're afraid of getting mugged? In London? When you're from in Nai-robbery?"

"Big cities are all the same," Fili laughed, sticking out his tongue.

The train pulled in and Fili climbed onto it. He lowered the window on the door and waved.

"See you soon!"

See you when? Kili asked in his head, watching as Fili's train took off, rounded a corner and vanished from view.

The first thing Kili did when he got home was root in the freezer for the tub of Phish Food he knew was hiding in there somewhere. He grabbed a spoon and was shoving it morosely into his mouth, watching reruns of Frasier when Dis found him. She burst out laughing.

"You couldn't be more cliché."

Kili made no reply, only picked at a fudge fish, trying to dislodge it from the frozen ice-cream around it.

"Pass." Dis took the spoon from him and scooped a glob of chocolatey coldness into her mouth. "He's really lovely, your friend."

"Friend," Kili mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"We didn't even kiss goodbye at the station. And I don't even know when we'll see eachother again. Why am I so hopeless, Mum?"

"You are far too melodramatic." Dis stole the fudge fish Kili had been trying to unearth and popped it in her mouth as Kili cried out in protest.

"Mum, I had dibs! That was mine!"

"See? There's bigger problems in life than boys," she told him brightly.

Kili glared at her mutinously before wrapping his arm protectively around the tub.

"There's always facebook, and skype. You'll see him again soon, I'm sure of it."

Kili half-smiled, leaning into his mother for a one-armed hug. "Who knows."