Chapter Nine – My Tainted Love
She was so peaceful and quiet when she slept. Kagome didn't snore at all and every now and then she talked in her sleep. He would sit there, listening intently and watching her expressions change.
She looks like so innocent and vulnerable. Inuyasha thought to himself.
Earlier, he almost kissed her. It hadn't been his entire fault; actually, he hadn't been able to help himself. When he had been growing up, his mother had taught him almost everything there was to know about life. He still remembered what she had told him about such things when he was younger…
"Mother, why are you bleeding?"
The beautiful woman blushed lightly. She scooped the small boy up in her arms and kissed him gently on the head.
"I am not hurt, Inuyasha."
"But, Mother, you are bleeding! I can smell it."
"Yes, my darling. You see…uh…once a month, a lady goes into heat."
"Goes into 'heat'? What does that mean, Mother?"
"Erm…when a female dog is ready to have babies, she starts to bleed to let out impurities in her system. That lets the boy dog know that she is ready to have babies."
"But, Mother, if you are ready to have babies, then why can't you give me a brother or a sister?"
"Well, I'm done having babies, Inuyasha. You are the only baby I want."
"I see…do only dogs and mothers bleed when they are ready to have babies?"
"Oh, no. All females bleed. It is the way of life."
A blush stained Inuyasha's cheeks as he stared at her in her sleep. His dog instincts were reacting the way that was expected, but it was still embarrassing. He sighed.
The young half-demon closed his eyes to think. What had she been trying to say to him earlier? All he could remember were the words 'special to me'. Was it wrong for him to feel this way? Was it possibly wrong of him to want to kiss her?
Kikyo…does my heart still belong to only you?
Kagome was always there with him. She never left his side no matter how much he hurt her feelings. And yet, he still couldn't shake the nagging feeling in his heart that he might be disgracing Kikyo's memory by feeling this way towards Kagome.
But, would it really be awful to move on? He didn't like Kagome because she looked like Kikyo. In his mind, she didn't look like Kikyo at all anymore. But it wasn't like he was trying to erase Kikyo. He would never be able to forget her. She was his first love…his first kiss…his…first.
As the hours ticked by monotonously through the night, he thought on this. Kagome slept silently.
Inuyasha leaned down close, his lips inches from hers. She smelled wonderful.
"Kagome, I love you." He whispered softly.
He watched as a wistful smile appeared on her lips. As light as a butterfly's wings he gently touched his lips to hers. It was short, and very sweet. As he pulled back he felt like chains were weighing him down. How could he ever tell her how he felt when she actually could hear and acknowledge him?
Kikyo had died years ago, and he could've stopped it. It was his entire fault that she had died with such anger and hatred. If he would have only trusted her, she would have still been alive.
No, my heart had always belonged to you, Kikyo. I loved you, but it wasn't enough. I'm so sorry…I'm so…so sorry…
Inuyasha watched as Kagome stretched in her sleep. She looked so peaceful…
"Inuyasha…" She whispered in her slumber.
Kagome, I'm in love with you. So, sleep now. Sleep and be naïve…you are safe when you know nothing. I will only hurt you…
