So this is for meyou744. Personally I don't know how well this works but its my attempt and pure fluff; mostly just reflections on Elliot's part. This one is totally done.

Epilogue

Elliot stared, his wife and best friend were down the beach with his youngest son. Eli was almost nine now, he dangled from one arm of each woman; it was strange how much life had changed. It had been a roller coaster the last five years with ups and down that had nearly devastated them.

Yet Olivia had always been true to her word, even in the middle of the night and putting off her own career for him. It had taken a long time and two more bouts with Eli being hospitalized for him to truly make peace.

His son's life was something he couldn't make even with her or pay her back for but he could accept . It was something he had needed to do, thirteen years she had been his best friend and at odds with Kathy. But once they came home and Eli begged for a trip to see Olivia Kathy had taken him and something had changed.

His wife had spent years in envy of Olivia, barely knowing her but ready to hate her with any incentive. When she helped Kathleen a door had been presented; after his partner spent two weeks in a coma it changed. His wife had been able to accept who Olivia was and her values in life and friendship that her fears over the years had no ground.

Still as they drew close he had struggled with the reality of it and how fragile it was. His child's life had hinged on her, after the first time they brought him home he had spent weeks in a daze; hardly believing it could last.

Yet only six months later he had relapsed but Olivia had been there the same night, this time they hadn't put her under. She came and went from the hospital as an outpatient, stopping to talk to Eli every time she came in; giving him a little hope. He didn't get as sick that time.

After that it had become less awkward, it wasn't watching her as a ghost of herself but as the person he knew. She was fighting for his son and holding him close; his entire family. Two weeks after they brought Eli home again he ended up at her door, minus his family.

It was about the first time he had been alone with her, truly alone that was; they had talked. He had talked more and she had listened but it opened a door; she was quickly becoming part of his family even then.

Slowly she was integrated, his kids inviting her to birthdays and family diners, every year she came for Eli's birthday but others she missed; the reality was she was still with the unit. Moving slowly through the ranks, taking the Sargent's exam and then as Munch and Cragen retired taking the lead.

They laughed that she lead an entirely new unit the same age as his daughters; only Fin remained from when he had worked with her. But he knew she was good at the job and the rare time she had off was more and more spent with his family, and his wife; which was good for both of them.

Still this was a first time they had really gotten out to do something since the transplant, the entire crew together on the beach. Olivia, Kathleen and Maureen had all negotiated out of work, he had since taken his retirement completely; family took more and more importance to him. Kathy was still on round shifts, they had planned it around her schedule and bribed Dickie into it with the promise that he could drive Olivia's car with his twin.

Now his family spread across the beach, all three of his daughters were sunbathing down the beach and Dickie was out in the water with a knee board. His wife and Olivia had Eli out of the water. He tried not to cringe at the outfits his daughters wore but the fact Olivia had stripped down to a similar outfit; his battle was lost before it began.

Yet he had to cringe as he watched them come back towards the towels. Olivia and Eli had matching scars from the last run in; more than three years ago. He had fought back on his own until his kidneys failed.

Olivia had gone under the knife to give him a chance. They both had fought a long recovery and now the scars were faded but a permanent reminder of the fight that was now years quiet. Still Elliot struggled with it, almost every day, every time he hugged his child.

He could cope in a way, relax in a sense as he could trust someone would be there for his own child. The fear didn't rule his life anymore and it didn't threaten his family. He could accept the fading threat.

The doctors grew more confident as time passed, Melinda kept Olivia ready but the need had not come. Still he now understood how life could change in a heart beat. It wasn't something he could leave at work, it wasn't something that was a part of the job anymore.

His family was lucky, he was lucky and he knew it. He made a point of showing it, to his family and to her. It was hard to show it to her, not in the sense that it might make Kathy jealous anymore but more to make her accept it.

Kathy had developed a friendship with her and it had taken time but he knew they talked about it all; Olivia would even let Kathy check the port if she had pulled it when working and it happened every so often. In that sense he knew they had their own balance.

He struggled even though they talked. There were times when it frustrated him to no end, he wanted to protect his family; and provide for them. But even letting Olivia into that wasnt as hard as trying to express it to her.

There was no way to explain his feelings to her, and no way to go back; their friendship had been forever changed. They both had to acknowledge it and deal with the changes. He had to accept that his daughters looked to her as a role model, his son respected her courage and she was a second mother to his youngest.

As his wife flopped down beside him, he couldn't help but smile, Kathy was warm from the sun and radiant; it was good to see her happy. Olivia sat beside her, pulling a t shirt over her bikini, clearly they were done in the water for now.

Dickie however was out and chasing Eli, his sons tore across the beach; the older forcing the younger into the shallows. Before the little one dodged around him and came tearing towards them. Elliot laughed as he watched them come, Eli was fast ducking behind him and Elliot found himself being used as a shield before the boy ducked down to try it with his mother.

A squeal told him things had not gone as planned, he looked over to see Eli stretched over both Olivia and Kathy's laps; Dickie dive bombed the sand in front of them tickling his little brother. Everyone was laughing and tickling as their little angel tried to escape; it was just right. Olivia belonged with them,as a part of their family where no one else could fit; and she knew it.

He watched as her face lit up with Eli's squirming, the little boy ended up settled between the two women and the three exchanged soft words; both women glowing. As he watched the scene before him Olivia looked up and met his eyes; he felt his smile grow.

That had been hours earlier, now he was driving the van back, Olivia was in the passenger seat dozing while Eli and his wife slept in the back; everyone else had split off into separate vehicles. He knew she was only half asleep, and if anything happened she would react in an instant; still he had a slight advantage.

" Thanks Liv, for everything." He spoke softly, but her eyes flickered; he knew she had heard every word.

" We decided a long time ago that we don't need to talk about that. But I had a really good day, I think everybody else did too." Her head rolled, he didn't need to look over to see he was getting a look; he had got it thousands of times when they worked together.

" I know but sometimes I just need to say it. Especially when I watch my son discovering something new."

" Do you remember years ago, when I told you I would give you a kidney if you needed one? Even back then that offer was extended to every member of your family. They are a part of you and you need them; you needed them even when you were away.

I will do anything to let you keep that, then now and any day in the future. El you are a part of my family, just as Cragen, Munch and Fin were. But I don't need to be reminded that our relationship is special; it always has been." Olivia's voice was as it always was, soothing and safe; it was why he struggled with seeing her in a hospital bed, it was so out of context compared to who she was.

" My family is yours and you know that. My kids look to you as much as me and you have always been there; even in times I haven't. Liv I can't put what that means into words...its just not possible." Elliot glanced over at her, wishing he didn't have to focus on the road.

" I know and I wish you would stop trying; I know. Lets just enjoy health and good times, today was a really good day. I decided a long time ago, before any of this that if I can I will; that was my choice then and I've lived it with no regrets." Her hand briefly touched his arm and he nodded; it had been a good day, in so many ways.