ONE WEEK LATER
Stepping out of her office, Olivia's plans to go and get some lunch at the bistro around the corner were annihilated as Amanda got off the phone.
„Liv, DNA results came in, not surprisingly they're a match," Rollins informed her, rubbing her forehead with two fingers.
Dale Bernstein had been in holding for fifteen hours, Fin, Rollins and Carisi had taken turns questioning him on the alleged rape of thirty-two year old Viola Filter but it had been the same story over and over. He claimed it had been consensual and he had no idea why she was crying rape.
Olivia has been over it with Barba, but he didn't want to press charges. It was the classic He said - She said, and although Olivia was convinced Viola was in fact a victim with all the signs and the physical injuries, the fact that they had met in a sex chat and exchanged rather expressive private messages made things complicated.
Dale was a smug bastard, taunting them because he knew they'd have a hard time with the prosecution. He was so self-assured, that he didn't even think it was necessary to call a lawyer.
„Then we better get something out of him," Olivia said, taking off her glasses.
„He sticks with his story. They met online, were in touch for a couple of months, engaged in cyber sex until they agreed to meet in person to ‚fuck' as he puts it." They knew that much was correct, but whatever had followed was iffy.
„Fin still with him?"
„Yeah, in three," Rollins nodded in the direction of the interrogation room.
„His other contacts on that website?" Olivia inquired.
„TARU's on it, but up until now there is no indication that he's met with someone else, just very explicit messages. They're not through yet, his inbox is overflowing and they're tracing his activity on other platforms."
„Tell them to put a rush on it," Olivia said before turning on her heal, headed for the interrogation room.
…
Bernstein had been a piece of work and naturally Olivia had not gotten any further with him, either. He had smugly held a monologue about how women loved to be taken, needed a man who would tame their inner beast, even though they were all acting coyly outside the bedroom. His recount of the events had been sickening, simply because Olivia didn't believe it was consensual. Not with all the bite marks, the vaginal violations and bruising that were inflicted on Viola Filter. She believed it when the woman had admitted under tears to meeting Bernstein with the intention to have sex with him, but has ultimately changed her mind minutes after they had met in the hotel room because she had a funny feeling and he had been coming on too strong. That Bernstein had solicited her when she had wanted to leave and eventually overpowered and raped her.
When Olivia had gotten into his game, he had started to taunt her that she wouldn't understand, that she was way too uptight, probably frigid, and her ‚snatch' probably bone dry these days. Yes, he had been a real Charmer, that one. Not that it was something Olivia hadn't heard before, after almost twenty years in SVU she had actually been confronted with much worse.
By the time she had gotten home, they were still at a blind end and unfortunately running out of time. They'd have to talk to Viola again, and probably tell her that there was nothing they could do, circumstances that made Olivia incredibly angry. She tried to shake the case off during dinner with Noah and enjoyed some extra cuddles when it was his bedtime, recharging her batteries with proximity and love to get through another day. With one arm wrapped around her son's small body, her nose and mouth in his hair, Olivia inhaled his sweet smell deeply, focusing on all the good things. On how much she loved Noah, how much she had enjoyed dinner with him and hearing about his day. For the time being only this moment existed with her and Noah cuddled up in his bed, his breath slow and steady with sleep. Tomorrow morning they'd stop for breakfast at a bakery, have a cupcake and cocoa before preschool. She'd revel in his smile and the way he'd tell her goodbye from his classroom. She'd see Tom and…
Olivia gave herself a bit of a scare. Where did that thought come from? Ever since that night they had met at Central Park and ended up at his place to talk, Olivia had avoided thinking about him. Actually, that wasn't true, she has had too little time to think about anything at all. After three days off for Carrie's visit, Olivia had gone back to work and the case load had her busy from morning until the late afternoon. And when work was done and she was home, her sole focus was Noah and spending some quality time. Of course she still saw Tom every morning, and she no longer avoided him. A couple of times they had exchanged a few friendly words, but she was in a bit of a hurry both days. And now she had caught herself thinking of him, caught herself thinking that she was looking forward to seeing him for one or two minutes in the morning. To seeing his smile, hearing his voice greet her and wish her a good day.
Bummer.
She kissed Noah on the top of his head before she carefully climbed out of his bed and left him to sleep. Funnily, Tom was still in the back of her mind. What did it mean, that she was now thinking about him? That she felt just a little bit excited to see him in less than twelve hours? He was a good looking man, that wasn't news to Olivia, she could admit that and had done as much as she had gotten drunk with Carrie. She had explicitly told her friend that there was just something about him and that she almost felt a little bit weak in the knees when he was wearing his specs, that they were beyond sexy on him. But more than that, Olivia slowly got the feeling that he was simply a really good person, attentive and sweet, confident and with a lot of charisma. He complimented her and it wasn't over the top, he was funny and made her laugh easily. Thinking about it now, she felt awful for pushing him away. He hadn't asked her for anything, all he wanted was to get to know her. And if Olivia was being honest with herself, she wanted to know more about him, too. She was intrigued by him, he affected her in ways that nobody had in many years and that was scary. So scary, that Olivia was awfully hesitant to simply allow herself to like him.
No longer as deluded as before, Olivia opened a bottle of wine. She thought about calling him, but couldn't quite convince herself she should, finally deciding against it as she had finished her glass. Instead she took a shower, put on her nightwear and slipped into her bed, falling asleep with Tom on her mind.
…
Olivia couldn't help but openly smile as she saw Tom, and she felt strangely captivated as he returned it. „Hey," she greeted softly. „I see the list is out."
As he had offered, Tom had already put Noah's name down and the list was by now full.
„Yeah, you just gotta put your signature there and he'll be ready to roll come August," Tom agreed. „Do you need a pen?"
„Oh, yes, that would be helpful," she agreed.
Tom grabbed a ballpoint and walked out into the hallway to where Olivia stood in front of the class's bulletin board. He sensed some kind of change in her, but couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. „There you go."
„Thanks," Olivia said, accepting the pen. She quickly put her signature in the field next to Noah's name, then looked at Tom, and on the inside she felt a little bit unsettled. She bit the inside of her lip and quickly glanced around, seeing no one else within earshot. „Well, I was thinking and… I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do coffee."
That almost knocked him out of his socks. Tom had hoped she would come around, but if he was being completely honest he didn't expect it would happen. The surprise must have been evident on his face, because Olivia gave a small, nervous laugh. „You look stunned."
„I… I am," he admitted. „I'd love to do coffee." He'd love to do whatever she wanted to do. Coffee, dinner, another stroll at night in Central Park. As long as she was going to be part of it, there was nothing he wasn't willing to do.
„Okay." She was glad she had asked, knowing otherwise it would have been on her mind all day. „Noah's going to spend his Saturday afternoon at a friend's house so I'd be free then."
„Saturday sounds fantastic." Who was he kidding, anytime would be appealing. He would gladly throw all plans over board for her. After he had taken her home, Tom had been convinced they'd never meet outside of school again. That for whatever reason, she was too insecure, too scared, or maybe not interested enough to want to get to know him better. He hoped that maybe he could make all of this go away, if only she'd give him the chance.
Olivia shyly glanced down for a second, then looked at him again. „Well, I have to get to work. But… I'm looking forward to Saturday. You could check Yelp for a place." It was a lame attempt at a joke but Tom laughed, glad she was coming out of her shell.
„You know, I think I will actually do that."
„So… until tomorrow then."
„Until tomorrow, Olivia," he responded softly, watching her walk away, and Tom couldn't help but smile to himself.
…
The weather on Saturday was fantastic, the air was warm, the sun was shining and there was no single reason to sit inside a café on such a beautiful summer day. Although Tom had sent Olivia a message with a place to meet on Friday, he had decided to call her and ask her about a change of plans. The parks would be buzzing with activity, but that wasn't the worst thing. He had gotten ready about half an hour ago, although there was still some time left until 2:30 PM when he'd meet Olivia. He would see this as what it was - not a date, but simply a chance to get to know her better. He'd take it slow and easy with no further expectations.
Grabbing his phone and went through his contacts until her name caught his eye and he dialed her. She picked up on the second ring.
„Tom, hey," she said, sounding out of breath. She figured he was about to cancel, maybe something else had come up for him.
„Hey, listen, I know we planned coffee, and I guess we could still do that, but the weather's lovely, so what do you think about meeting at Central Park? We could grab something to go there."
„Yeah sure, that sounds good," Olivia agreed. She had just dropped Noah off at Amanda's who was going to take the kids to the Zoo. Her plan was to take a quick shower and take some things to the dry cleaners before she'd meet Tom at the place he had suggested the day before. „Want to meet at West 72nd again?"
„2:30 at West 72nd, got it," he confirmed.
„Great. Later then," Olivia smiled, hanging up. She was actually looking forward to this afternoon and wasn't as nervous as she had been before their date. It would be casual and the overall feel was more comfortable for her this time.
An hour later, freshly showered and casually dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a thin dark blue cotton cardigan, Olivia left the dry cleaner's. She checked her phone, realizing she better hurry or she would be late. She could take a cab, but figured hailing one was going to take longer than she was willing to wait. Walking at a good pace, she reached their meeting point, seeing Tom maybe fifty feet away, waving at him as he spotted her. She was almost ten minutes late, apologizing as she reached him.
„I'm sorry, I probably should have left earlier," she said. He looked good in a pair of chinos and simple T-shirt.
„Don't worry about it," he assured warmly, reveling in her presence. „I'm glad that you've made it, that's all that counts. Wanna go someplace to grab coffee, maybe something to eat?"
„Yeah, let's go," she agreed. They slowly started strolling through Central Park, the sun warming Olivia's face. There was a gentle breeze, just enough to keep her from sweating.
„So, Noah's on his playdate?"
„Yeah, he's with a colleague and her daughter, she's decided to take them to the zoo and takes care of dinner, which is nice for a change," Olivia chuckled. „My cooking's… leaving room for improvement," she explained. „So, I'm grateful for every meal I don't have to cook on weekends." They often had take-out on weekdays and sometimes Lucy threw a little something together when Olivia was getting home late.
Tom thought she was fascinating. A mother who admitted to not being a great cook wasn't something he came across often, and it seemed she didn't feel the need to learn either from the sound of it. „And I thought it's the men that can't cook."
„With my hours I never had the drive to learn, it was easier to grab something somewhere and take it home," Olivia admitted. „Plus I was alone most of the time anyway, and cooking for myself held little appeal. Since I've had Noah I'm cooking on weekends, mostly easy pasta dishes but I hate the clean up."
„You bake then?" He asked. „I once heard people who can't or don't like to cook have a thing for baking."
Olivia snorted, certainly not backing up that theory. „My baking is actually much worse than my cooking."
„In that case you'll love the upcoming bake sale," Tom teased.
„There is an upcoming bake sale?" Olivia dreaded these things. She'd probably order a cake or two, that's how bad she was at it.
„Yeah, I think in September or so. It's an annual thing."
„Great," she groaned. „Thanks for the heads-up."
„It's actually quite stupid, it's no longer about raising money but more of a contest who turns in the prettiest cake," he explained. He never got this silent competition between mothers, although it could be amusing to watch.
„I can tell you who's not," Olivia scoffed.
„I can tell you that makes you very congenial," he smiled, glancing over at her.
„Or outlandish," Olivia spoke to the contrary.
„Not to me," Tom said honestly, and he thought he saw her blush a little as she dropped her gaze.
„What have you been up to before meeting me?" Olivia asked, curious what a Saturday looked like with Tom.
„Not too much, actually. A little bit planning for an upcoming project at school, then I jammed for an hour or so, had a quick lunch, got ready to meet you. You?"
„Long breakfast with Noah, then we were at the playground, had lunch at a diner before I dropped him off. And well, some cleaning, which was my least favorite part."
„I can see how that holds little appeal," he winked.
„Really? That's almost hard to believe with how tidy your place is."
„Sadly some things need to be done," he shrugged.
„Were you born here?" Olivia asked, curious where he was from.
„Long Island, actually. „I've lived there up until… I think four years ago. Yeah, four."
„What made you move?"
„Work. Among other things," he said.
„Long story?" Olivia assumed, asking cautiously.
„Not really. I needed a change. I was going through a separation at the time so a change of scenery made sense. Then I got the job offer and the school's pretty amazing compared to the former institutions I've taught at. So all in all it was the best decision I could have made." He felt comfortable as part of the city. He played with the thought to maybe move back someday, but for the next ten or so years he saw himself in The Big Apple. His job was secure and paid exceptionally well compared to other places. „How about you?"
„I'm a real New Yorker," she teased with a smile. „Born and raised here."
„Did you ever want to live anywhere else?"
„Hawaii maybe, that would be tempting. But other than that, no. This is home," she said. However unstable her life had been, New York had been a constant. Olivia couldn't imagine to live anywhere else. Her heart and history were here, her very few roots. She indulged in the thought for a little while as they walked on. The weather was fantastic. They have had many warm days since May but the temperatures were slowly climbing up now and it actually felt like summer.
„Did you always want to be NYPD?" Tom asked after a couple of minutes.
„No, I didn't. I was thinking veterinarian for a while but well, things happened and suddenly it was crystal clear," Olivia shrugged, but wasn't ready to explain further. Her family history was complicated and she wasn't yet ready to disclose that her being a product of rape left her with no other choice than wanting to help victims of sexual crimes.
There were questions that she wanted to ask him, but Olivia wasn't sure if it was the time yet. Maybe they were too personal. Then again, she didn't want to feel like she was avoiding perfectly normal questions, either. „Were you ever married?"
„Nope, but almost engaged once," He said sheepishly.
„Almost?"
„I had the ring but before I had the chance to pop the question - well," Tom said heavily, not sure how much he should disclose. „I don't think you wanna hear about that."
For some reason Olivia did but she didn't want to push, either. „I wouldn't mind if you wanted to share." This didn't have a date feel, so hearing about a former relationship wouldn't feel as weird.
„We had our problems, but I guess I was a little naive. That wasn't her fault, actually, I am probably an obstinate optimist," Tom chuckled, scratching the back of his head. „Basically, I didn't attach as much importance to our situation as she did, or I was too positive to think we weren't going to get over a rough patch. To cut a long story short, she had an affair, I eventually found out and as I said - naive -," he explained, pointing at himself. „- I wanted to work it out, I would've forgiven, or at least I would've tried to but she wanted to move on with the other guy. That's it."
„I'm sorry," Olivia offered.
„Nah, don't be. It takes two, I may not have cheated but I've taken some things for granted. Not deliberately, I wasn't aware when I should have been. But it's okay. As far as I know she's happier now, so that's a good thing. And I've learned a couple of things along the way. To take things more seriously next time. And in the end, I think everything happens for a reason. We were probably just not meant for each other. There was a time when I didn't see it that way but honestly? If we had gotten married, I don't think we would've made it in the long run."
„I think you're the first man who doesn't hold a grudge after he's been cheated on," Olivia admitted. She had a feeling that men could be very bitter if their ego was hurt like that, and she's seen her share of marriages turned sour because of adultery through the years.
„I'm not that good. I did hold a grudge for quite some time, it took time for me to reflect the whole relationship honestly. It helped to put the distance between us." He came from a rather small town, not in the sense of the word, but after the separation he had still run into his ex or friends and relatives of hers constantly. „But enough of that," Tom smiled. He was over all of it and didn't want to revisit that part of his past with someone he was interested in. „Let's get some coffee on West Drive," he suggested. There was a food cart that also offered coffee in Central Park between West 74 and West 75 Street.
„Alright," Olivia agreed and they walked over. Due to the weather it was pretty crowded.
„Cream, sugar?" he inquired as they stood in line.
„Just cream."
They had to wait about five minutes until they got their coffee and kept on walking with no hurry. Even the moments of quiet between them were comfortable this time, nothing had a forced feel to it.
„Is there anything you're really passionate about?"
„My job," Olivia answered without having to think about it. „Maybe it sounds strange, but I couldn't imagine to do anything else."
„So, that's where you see yourself in the coming years, huh?" Tom asked, wanting to find out about her plans.
„Hopefully until retirement," Olivia nodded with a small smile.
„You kind of warned me that if something came up work-wise you might have to cancel our date or leave early," Tom pointed out. „That happen often?"
„It did when I was dating more actively and was still a Detective. It's not a 9 to 5 job, we work when there's work, sometimes three days straight with short naps in between. Dating wasn't always easy, for different reasons. Some couldn't deal with me canceling a date or cutting it short when I was on call, some… let's not go there," she shook her head.
„Now you've got me curious, come on, do tell," he chuckled, not sure what Olivia was getting at.
„I don't know how to explain it but I guess some thought that the job was a turn on for me - or it was for them. When they found out what I do for a living eventually the questions would start if I liked to use handcuffs in bed, or if rape scenarios turned me on," she cringed a little. „Then again, that helped to weed out the pervs. I guess it's one thing to have certain fantasies, but quite another if real rape cases do turn you on, not that I understand either," Olivia explained.
„That's sick," Tom sounded disgusted, his brow furrowed.
„Yeah, it is. It wasn't the majority of men I've gone out with, but it were a few. And a lot of those that were left couldn't deal with the hours or the fact that I couldn't make them a priority when we had cases that made demands on my time, which in a way I understand, it isn't easy to play second fiddle forever."
„Is that what it is? A man would always come second?" Tom wanted to know, just to get an idea what it would mean to be with her.
Olivia took a deep breath, thinking about it for a short moment. „Well, yes and no. Yes because I have got to do what the job requires me to do. If there's a serial rapist on the lose, that's a worst case, and we're running against the clock, I simply can't put my private life first and say… go on a date, have dinner, catch a movie, go on vacation," Olivia explained. „I have a squad to run, decisions to make, be on the scene. No because I'd put my private life first whenever I actually can put it first, and that would include a partner. It's a balancing act and it can only work if the person I am with can understand that."
It was reasonable. Olivia had a demanding job, Tom knew that. And it was a job that he thought was incredibly brave. He couldn't imagine to walk in her shoes and be confronted with the lowlives of the city, to see so much hurt and darkness. He didn't even want to imagine. He figured, if it came down to it, he could deal with not always being the first priority. In a sense it was for a greater good. Spotting a vacant bench, Tom drew Olivia's attention to it. „Wanna sit for a little while?"
„Sure," she agreed, taking a sip of coffee. They got as comfortable as possible and Tom turned to Olivia to be able to look at her.
„I still can't believe you don't have a favorite movie. Nothing that ever stuck with you?"
She laughed, throwing her head back just a little as the sound scattered around them loud and full. „You can't get over that, hm?"
„Not really," admitted. „It's surreal. Everyone has a favorite movie."
„I barely get to watch an entire movie," she shrugged. „Noah's up until 7:30, sometimes 8:00 PM, I try to go to bed early on weekdays because I have to get up around 5:00, sometimes I still work from home to get paperwork done, and watching alone, nah," she made a face.
„I should give you the Tetley-Movie-Night experience," he said mystically. „Any movie would be a favorite of yours." Movie night had always been a big deal with the Tetley family as Tom grew up.
„Is that so?" Olivia asked, the words coming across as a challenge.
„I bet," he nodded fully convinced.
„Your Momma teach you you shouldn't make promises you can't keep?" Came her tease in return.
„Doesn't matter, what matters is, would you accept an invitation?" He grinned, trying to keep it light, but it was obvious that the question itself was the invitation, and deep down Tom was wrecked by the inner tension as he hoped she wouldn't decline. He noticed Olivia's demeanor was getting a little more serious and she seemed to give it some thought as she tore her gaze away from him, taking in their surroundings.
„Think it'll be worth my time?" She asked after a short while, having a sip of coffee.
„I'll make it worth your time."
„No horror, no stupid comedies," Olivia attached a condition.
„Better yet, you bring the movie."
„I thought I'd bring the popcorn," she sighed dramatically, making a long pause. Picking a movie would be overwhelming, especially since she wasn't in the know when it came to the quality of whatever she would decide on.
„Popcorn's for rookies," Tom scoffed.
„Fine, I'll pick a movie and there will be no complaining if it's a bad one."
„So, it's a date?" She lowered her gaze coyly at the question, once more thinking.
„Yeah, it's a date."
….
