A/N: Chapter 9 already! Enjoy reading it and please review.
Summary: Six years have gone by since the birth of Hikari and everyting seems to be going fine with the family of three, but will it last? Or will something happen that threatens to tear them apart?
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!
Izaya had been allowed to go home the day after. They had wanted to keep him for one more day, just to make sure that everything was fine with him. Physically that is, since it was clear to Shizuo that Izaya was blaming himself.
Shizuo opened the door to their apartment and let Izaya in before walking after him and closing the door.
"Iza-nii, you two are back! How are you feeling?" Mairu asked almost immediately. Shizuo had expected the raven to at least say something, but he ignored her and walked past Kururi and Hikari. Everyone was staring after him while he walked up the stairs and disappeared into the bedroom.
"Shizuo-san, is Iza-nii alright?" Shizuo's attention got grabbed by Mairu and he looked at the young woman to see her looking concerned.
"I don't know, I'm going to see what he's up to, alright? Can you watch Hikari a bit longer till I'm back again?" Shizuo asked.
"Sure, take your time, we don't mind watching Hikari." Shizuo nodded his thanks and then went up the stairs and towards the bedroom.
Opening the door he walked in to see Izaya laying on the bed with his back to the door. Shizuo could tell almost immediately that the raven was not sleeping.
"Izaya?" He said softly and went over to kneel beside the bed on the side the raven was facing. "What's wrong?" He wanted Izaya to talk to him. If the raven wouldn't talk to him, then he didn't really know what to do.
"I'm sorry." A small voice said and hands went up to cover the face in front of him. "I'm sorry Shizu-chan." Even though the hands were trying to hide the face, it didn't cover enough to hide the tears streaming down the raven's face.
"How many times do I need to tell you that you don't need to apologise?" Shizuo kept his voice soft and slowly started stroking Izaya's hair with one hand while prying one of the hands away from the face with his other.
"But it's my fault." He was indeed still blaming himself and Shizuo didn't know how to get the raven to think different. He had already told him over and over that it wasn't his fault, but Izaya didn't seem to listen.
"It isn't, so please don't blame yourself." Shizuo was almost begging him now, but where he had expected Izaya to say something back, the raven kept quiet. He didn't say anything anymore and just let his tears fall.
"Just rest for a bit, alright? I need to go see to Hikari now, since she must be wondering where we went." Shizuo took a deep breath and let it go before standing. There was still one thing that would need to be done. Hikari would need to know what happened, since it was clear that Izaya wasn't going to come out of the room yet. The girl also needed to know that she wouldn't be getting a sibling.
Before he walked out the room he looked one more time over his shoulder at the raven before exiting the room.
xxx
Once downstairs he walked over to Hikari and slowly picked her up from the ground. "Papa?" The girl asked, but Shizuo turned first to the two women.
"Thank you for taking care of Hikari. Izaya's resting for now, so I would like it if you don't go to see him." Shizuo said and looked at the women seriously. It was clear to him that Izaya needed time and that he would not want anyone to see him like this.
"Sure, don't worry about it Shizuo-san. Just tell us when he's up for visitors, alright?" Mairu said while Kururi nodded.
"I will, thanks again for taking care of Hikari." Shizuo said and then the two women left, leaving him alone with Kururi.
"Papa, what's wrong?" Hikari asked and Shizuo looked at the girl in his arms. He would need to tell her that she wouldn't be getting a sibling. He swallowed hard before heading over to the couch and sitting her down before sitting down her himself.
"Hikari, I want you to listen to me." Shizuo said and waited for her to nod before continuing. "I don't really know how to say this to you, but…" Shizuo trailed off, he really didn't want to tell her, but he knew he would have to. "You won't be getting a sibling. We lost your sibling." Shizuo said in a soft voice and he watched her reaction go from confusion to realization and then it turned to a sad one.
"Is that why mama is upstairs?" She asked softly and it almost broke Shizuo's heart to see her like this.
"Yeah, he's very sad and wants to be alone for a bit." He said and slowly took the girl in her arms when he saw tears starting to appear in her eyes. "It will be fine." He said softly while holding her and stroking her hair.
"Will mama be fine?" The girl asked through small sobs and Shizuo nodded slowly. He hoped he was right and that Izaya would really be fine, but he couldn't be sure.
"I will do everything to make sure of that." That was at least what he could promise, since he couldn't promise the girl that Izaya would be fine, but he could promise her that he would do anything to help Izaya.
xxx
Shizuo had just finished making dinner and was now heading up the stairs to see if Izaya would want to eat anything. He hoped the raven would, since it would not be good to not eat anything.
Standing at the bedroom door he knocked, but when he got no reaction he went inside. Izaya was still laying on the bed with his back facing the door. It seemed like he hadn't even moved from where Shizuo had left him last time.
"Izaya?" Shizuo moved closer to the raven and when he kneeled down beside him, he noticed that the raven's eyes were open, indicating that he was not sleeping. "I made dinner, do you want something to eat?" Shizuo asked softly.
Izaya blinked a few times, but then shook his head. Shizuo saw it and frowned for a bit. "You should eat something." He tried again, but once again the raven shook his head. "Why?" But he didn't get a reaction this time. Izaya only closed his eyes and with that started to ignore the blonde.
Shizuo let out a frustrated sigh and then stood up. "I will get you something to eat, so try to at least eat something, alright?" But Shizuo didn't look to see what the raven's reaction was. He just left the room and headed down the stairs and to the kitchen.
"Is mama not coming down?" Hikari asked and Shizuo looked at the table to see the girl sitting in her seat.
"I'm taking his food to him." Shizuo said and started filling a plate and a glass of water. "He doesn't feel good enough to come down." It was half a lie, since Izaya did feel bad, just not physically. "Afterwards we will eat together, alright?" Shizuo tried to smile and when he received a nod he walked away with the plate and the glass and headed back to the bedroom.
"Izaya, I have brought the food and a glass of water." Shizuo said and placed the plate and glass on the bedside table before shaking the raven slightly. When Izaya opened his eyes, he let go. "Try to eat something, I will come back later to check on you." Shizuo said and then left the raven alone with the food and water.
Once downstairs he went back to the kitchen and filled his plate and Hikari's before placing them down on the table.
"How is mama doing?" Shizuo had dreaded these questions, since Izaya hadn't gotten better yet, which means that he couldn't tell her that.
"He's tired and wants to rest." Shizuo said, but he knew that Izaya couldn't sleep the whole day, there was no way that he was that tired. Shizuo felt bad for keeping Hikari away from Izaya, but he didn't want her to get hurt if Izaya were to yell at her or something else.
He had hoped that Izaya would be doing fine after the first few days, but it seemed like they weren't so lucky. He had only asked Tom a few days off and he needed to get back to work tomorrow. Now he just needed to find someone to watch Hikari and take care of Izaya while he wasn't there, since it was obvious that the raven was in no state to take care of Hikari.
"Would you like uncle Shinra and aunt Celty to watch over you tomorrow? I need to work." He said and looked at the girl.
"What about mama?" Of course, there was no way the girl wouldn't ask about Izaya.
"They would be coming here, so they could also help Izaya." Shizuo answered. He could see her looking a bit unsure, but she nodded anyway.
"Fine, I would like to see them too, since it has been a few days." Yeah it had only been a few days. Only a few days since they lost their second child. Maybe it had been too much to ask Izaya to act normal again, it had only been a few days after all.
The two of them finished their dinner and then Shizuo helped her to her bed to sleep. She didn't ask for a story this time and just let him go away while she went to sleep. Shizuo felt like Hikari was handling this a little too well, but who was he to say that. He was acting the same after all, but he had a reason for it, he did it to make sure his family would not break apart.
He grabbed his phone and called Shinra, since he hadn't even asked the doctor if he was fine with taking care of Hikari tomorrow. He had just told the girl the thing that seemed the most logical to him.
"Hello?" Shinra's voice sounded after a few rings.
"Shinra…" Shizuo started and suddenly didn't know how to ask this.
"Shizuo? What do you need?" He could tell the doctor was handling him carefully, maybe too careful.
"Could you and Celty watch Hikari tomorrow?" This was definitely not everything he had to tell the doctor, but this was a start.
"Sure, but what's the reason for it?" That was the question he hadn't wanted to hear.
"I'm starting work again tomorrow and Izaya…" That's where he trailed off, he didn't really know how to tell the doctor this.
"Izaya is not able to take care of her?" The doctor guessed and Shizuo nodded before realising the doctor couldn't see that.
"Yeah, he's been in his room since we came back and hasn't come out since." Shizuo said with a sigh.
"Hm, that's not good you know? Has he been eating?" Oh right, he hadn't checked on that yet.
"I have brought him some food, but haven't looked yet if he ate it." Shizuo said and then started walking back up the stairs.
"Shizuo, don't get angry at him if he hasn't eaten anything, okay?" Shinra said softly and Shizuo only hummed.
"I'm hanging up now, checking up on Izaya, I will see you tomorrow." He said and then hang up before the doctor could say anything else. He pocketed his phone and opened the door, walking in before turning on the lights, since it had gotten dark.
His gaze went to the bedside table almost immediately where the food was still on the plate, now cold, but the water was gone. Seems like Izaya had at least drank the water.
Shizuo walked over to the table and picked up the plate and glass, before looking at the raven who was now sleeping. He left the room as quietly as he could and went back to the kitchen where he would finish cleaning up, before heading to bed.
