Chapter 9
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TREVOR'S APARTMENT
"I need to go!" I announced as I ran around the bedroom collecting my things and shoving them carelessly into my bag.
"Olivia"
"No, Trevor, please I just… really need to be alone right now ok? I can't… I – I can't think, I just…" my mind was such a complete mess.
"At least let me see you home safely"
"No I'll um, I'll take a cab, I'll be fine."
"Baby, talk to me"
"And say what? I'm sorry that I might be carrying my abusive ex-husband's baby? Oh yeah; a baby that was conceived the night he sexually assaulted me?"
"You don't know that it's his baby."
"And I don't know that it's not! God, what has happened to my life?" I asked myself as I sat down on the king-sized bed "This is not how I imagined things would be for us!" Trevor sat down beside me and reached for my hand, slowly intertwining his fingers with mine and we sat there in silence for a moment. "I can't ask you to do this." Trevor turned to look at me, the expression on his face told me on no uncertain terms that he was offended.
"You haven't asked me to do anything! What will it take to make you get it? I love you; all of me, every part – mind, body and soul loves you; all of you, and everything that comes with you! If you wanna use this baby as an excuse to run away from us, you go right ahead, but I will not give up that easily." He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. "I am here because you are home! You are where I was meant to be and you are worth fighting for; WE are worth fighting for! Baby, this situation can't break us, okay? I'm not willing to let it and neither should you be."
"I wish that I could go back and undo that night."
"But you can't" he said and kissed my hand "all we have is now."
"I can't have his baby! He is twisted and sadistic and will use this to make my life hell if he even thinks there's a chance… "
"Olivia, stop." you're making yourself crazy! "Just breathe" I slowly took a deep breath and exhaled; it didn't help.
"This isn't working"
"Then close your eyes."
"What?"
"Close your eyes" he repeated. I looked at him with a curious gaze "Just trust me." he insisted. I sighed but relented and did as he asked.
"Okay, now what?"
"Now, I want you to forget about me, forget about Elliot, forget about everything and everyone else in the world and just focus on you, and what you want for a moment; no buts, no maybes; just your simple uncomplicated truth." He paused before continuing. "Now, with everything else out of the way, do you want this baby?"
My heart had already known the answer the second I looked at those tests. I was scared out of my mind and had wished to god that I wouldn't be pregnant to begin with, then being completely devastated to see that the tests were positive. But once I knew, my heart knew. I opened my eyes and looked at him.
"I have to go" I said and got up, grabbing my bag and walking hurriedly from his bedroom.
"Olivia" I heard him call after me in a sad voice but I didn't turn around, not even when I heard his footsteps behind me. "Liv please, just talk to me." he begged.
"I'm sorry!" I cried, my face now flush with the tears I had been holding in. I refused to look at him; couldn't look at him.
"Baby, don't – " he started, but I was already out the door and heard it slam behind me as I made my way down the hall, my tears threatening to overtake me.
Inside the apartment, Trevor stood, staring at the door she had just walked out of; he ran a hand down his face and blew out a deep breath. His mind was now completely racing, wondering what the hell had just happened, and more importantly, how he could fix it.
.
HOWARD JOHNSON'S
"So just what the fuck is this?" Mairym asked, sitting up naked in bed and smoking a cigarette while Elliot dressed after their latest round of brutal sex
"This is whatever I say it is, now stop with the questions!"
"It's been a month"
"So"
"So you come here all hours of the night – and now the day. You fuck me senseless and you're gone; an entire month of this same routine. You keep telling me that you and your wife are working things out, yet you're always here." She said and took one last drag from her cigarette then reached over to the nightstand to snub it out.
"You don't need to be concerned about what goes on between me and my wife you stupid bitch. How many times do I need to tell you that?"
"I just think it's odd, considering I'm what led to you two having problems in the first place" she grinned "I mean you'd think that you'd be more diligent in trying to stay away from me" she said as she sat up on her knees, letting the sheet fall away from her naked body. "Come back to bed"
"I'm good" he declined as he reached for his jacket.
"This!" she said angrily then got up from the bed and walked over to him "I need more"
"More what?"
"More than what you're giving me! I am not just a piece of ass for you to use at your discretion!"
"That is EXACTLY what you are and you'd be wise to know your role, and play it like your life depends on it!" he angrily reminded her.
"Or what? I have nothing to lose, you already saw to that, so there is absolutely nothing to keep me from running to Olivia and telling her e-" before she could get another word, the back of his hand came flying across her cheek so hard that it sent her flying backwards onto the bed.
"Like I said, know your fucking role!" he seethed and calmly walked out of the room without a glance at Mairym, who lay shocked and holding her face as blood trickled from the corner of her mouth.
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CASEY'S APARTMENT, BROOKLYN HEIGHTS
While Alex and Olivia were busy reacting to the news of their impending arrivals. Casey sat at home in her newly acquired Brooklyn apartment with her mind adrift. Lately, it was a struggle just to pull herself out of bed every morning when she wanted nothing more than to lie there, hide underneath the covers and shut out the world and everyone in it.
She thought back to what had been the happiest day of her life; the day he'd proposed in front of all of their friends with a gorgeous diamond ring that Olivia and Alex had helped him to choose for her. Who could have known that less than six months later, everything would fall apart when her doctor told her after a routine physical, that her blood tests were abnormal and that she had tested positive for the HIV virus. She had never even suspected; had no reason to suspect that he had been cheating. She could remember the dread that had lodged itself in the pit of her stomach, how her mouth went dry and she felt as if the room were spinning when her doctor gave her the news. But even fresher in her mind, was when she'd confronted him about it.
It was Valentine's Day, and he'd gone about planning a romantic night for them as if nothing were wrong. She'd sat quietly all through dinner at the ultra-chic restaurant where the dined that night and he hadn't noticed for even a second that she hadn't been herself. After the restaurant, they'd gone back to the gorgeous home they shared in Washington Square – his home; the home he promised her that they would fill with children and memories and so much love and she wanted to believe him, so she did with her whole heart and never once did she question what she felt or what he told her that he felt. They were in love and nothing else mattered. Now, as they sat drinking champagne in their living room, she felt nothing but contempt for the man she thought she knew; the man she loved.
He'd kissed her lips before he got up to get her gift and came back to the sofa carrying a black velvet box. She smiled when he handed it to her.
"What's this?" she asked
"Just a token of my affection; Happy Valentine's Day." He said as she opened the box. Inside was a gorgeous diamond tennis Bracelet. "do you like it?"
"I love it." she exclaimed. "Though it would probably be better suited for your whore… or is it whores?" his face was a stone expression of shock and guilt.
"W-what?" he had a huge, nervous smile plastered across his face.
"I'm sorry, did I not speak loud enough?" she stood up, cleared her throat and spoke a lot louder, practically yelling as she looked down at him. "YOU ARE A LYING, CHEATING, ASSHOLE OF A FIANCE AND A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MAN!" the tears she had been holding in all night finally let loose and she began to weep.
"Casey…" he stood and reached for her but she quickly backed away.
"You didn't even love me enough to protect me. I gave you my love, my trust, my loyalty and what did I get in return? A death sentence"
"What are you talking about?" he was genuinely confused.
"Here" she said, shoving an envelope into his hands."
"What is this?" he asked as he opened it.
"Test results. Congratulations, we're HIV positive!" she announced before punching him hard in the face; knocking him to the floor and then delivering a swift kick to his balls when he was down
"I'll send for my things!" she spat, throwing her engagement ring at him, grabbing her coat and purse and walking out the door, only stopping to take her already packed suitcase from the closet.
she ran a hand through her hair; she hadn't thought about Mike Cutter in years, nor had she ever divulged to anyone the real reason behind their split. Yet here she was, eight years later and he was front and center in her thoughts. She'd learned to live with her diagnosis, accepted it because she knew that she couldn't change it and she lived her life fully; but now… now everything had changed
"I have AIDS" she whispered to herself and she thought of Mike again. What was his life like? Was he well? Had he too been given this same diagnosis? Was he feeling as hopeless as she was right now? "Damn life for hitting me with this shit!" she hurled her tea mug across the room and hanged her head, sobbing into her hands.
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THE 16TH PRECINCT, THE FOLLOWING DAY
Olivia sat at her desk in a daze; she'd been this way all morning; unable to concentrate on even the most mundane things. She hadn't talked to Trevor at all since she left his apartment yesterday morning; she thought that time alone would be good for her but she just found herself alone at three in the morning, mind racing, unable to sleep and wanting him there to hold her but her stupid pride wouldn't let her pick up the phone; that, and the voice in her head that kept telling her that Trevor didn't deserve to be caught up in this drama and that she should just cut her losses and walk away. Then there was the other voice; the one that was speaking to her right now. This voice was much smaller than the first voice and it kept telling her that she'd be a fool to give up because Trevor is a wonderful man who loves her and that everything would be alright if she'd just trust him.
Trust. She'd trusted Elliot and look where it got her. Trevor is not Elliot. You have to give him a chance to be the man he promised he'd be; the good man that he is. Don't shut him out.
'You wanna talk about it?" Nick asked as he took a seat on the edge of her desk, snapping her out of her reverie.
"Talk about what?"
"Whatever has you so distracted today."
"I'm fine, I just… I'm fine." She said and closed the files in front of her, stacking them neatly on her desk.
"Liv, you know that you can talk to me; about anything. I'm here."
"I know and I appreciate it but there is really nothing to talk about." She insisted but Nick knew better. Still, he also knew better than to press her if she wasn't ready to open up so he quickly changed the subject.
"A few us goin out for drinks after work, you in?"
"I can't, actually I'm leaving early today for an appointment. But um, raincheck?"
"Yeah" he said dismally as he stood." Whatever it is, it'll be ok, just let it." he said with a hand on her shoulder before walking away. She felt like crying again and got up from her desk, heading for the cribs. From her own desk, Amanda watched Olivia as she walked away. She was obviously as worried as Nick was and quickly made a motion to follow her but Nick looked over to Amanda and shook his head, letting her know that perhaps, it would be best to leave Olivia alone, at least for the time being. Amanda rolled her eyes mockingly and sighed as she got up and followed Olivia in spite of Nick's objection.
.
Cribs...
Olivia sat, on the bed furthest from the door, nervously wrenching her hands. "If you shut him out, you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life." She heard that little voice in her head say, just before there was a knock at the door and Amanda came inside.
"Hey. I saw you headin this way, I wanted to make sure you were ok." She said as she shut the door.
"I'm fine" Olivia insisted"
"You're a terrible liar" Amanda grinned as she sat beside Olivia. "But I'm a good listener."
"It's not really something I can talk about"
"you never know until you try." Amanda said softly. Olivia shook her head and laughed to herself.
"You're gonna find out anyway." Amanda looked curiously at Olivia before Olivia turned to look at her. "I'm pregnant!"
"Oh my lord, Liv, that's great!" but the look on Olivia's face told another story. "Oh… not great?"
"Not great at all."
"I mean, you said I'd find out anyway, which means you're gonna have it, so why isn't it good news?"
"That's the part I can't talk about. It's complicated."
"Not sure who's the daddy, huh?" Olivia was shocked at Amanda's brazenness and sighed.
"No."
"Liv; it's alright, I mean… it happens."
"Oh yeah? To who?" Olivia asked, her head still in her hands. Amanda was at a loss for words
"Women… on… Maury?" Olivia looked at her disbelievingly and shook her head, laughing.
"Well at least you're able to laugh."
"Only because it beats crying!"
"Trevor's not handlin' it well?"
"Trevor is handling it beautifully! He is the poster child of acceptance and understanding. It's me who's not handling it well"
"I'm probably gonna sound hella naïve here, but if you're having the baby, then you must want it, right?"
"In spite of everything; yeah, I do"
"So why in hell are you mopin around here like your dog just died? If you want it and Trevor wants it, what the hell else matters?"
"I'm worried that this is too much and he only thinks it's what he wants."
"Honey, you gotta trust that man to know his own mind. I've seen you two together; he worships you and if you push him away, you're gonna regret it!" she finished speaking and got up to leave. Leaving Olivia to think. Just before she walked out the door, she looked at Olivia. "Now get your head out of your ass and smile, you're gonna be a momma!" she said and left the cribs. Olivia put her hand to her still-flat stomach and as if if Amanda's words had been a revelation to her, she repeated them.
"I'm gonna be a momma!" she smiled as the words sank in "Wow!"
.
Back in the squad room…
Amanda walked back to her desk feeling pretty pleased that Olivia had opened up to her the way she did. She sat down just as Nick made his way over.
"I told you it would be a bad idea." He gloated
"Amaro, stick to sports because you know nothin about women." She grinned just as Cragen entered the squad room.
"Fin, Rollins, we got a vic over on St. Marks raped and robbed in the storeroom where she works.
"We're on it Cap!" Fin said as he got up from his desk and headed for the door with Amanda following close behind. Nick watched her leave, wanting details about what she and Liv discussed but Rollins shrugged her shoulders and kept going, a mocking smile on her face as she disappeared.
"Rollins she talks to, but all I get is I'm fine!" he mumbled as he went back to his desk just as Trevor walked in carrying a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses.
"Nick, hey. Is Olivia around?"
"Oh hey man yeah, she's uh…" before he could finish Olivia walked in and began collecting her things from her desk
"Nick, I'm leaving for my appointment, tell Rollins to- Trevor." Her face completely lit up, as did his.
"I missed you last night" he said as he handed her the flowers.
"I missed you too; they're beautiful." She mused as she sniffed the bouquet.
"They pale in comparison." She smiled bashfully
"Can we talk?" he asked.
"Yeah" she smiled before turning to put the roses on her desk then heading back to the cribs.
.
Moments later…
Olivia's POV
There were so many things that I wanted to say to him right now but I had no idea where to even begin.
"Did you feel ok this morning?"
"A little nauseous… last night was what I couldn't handle; it wasn't right they way I left things between us.
"I will always respect your need for space, you know that, but you had me worried sick! Then when I didn't hear from you this morning…"
"I know. It's just, this whole normal relationship thing… it's not something I'm familiar with, to be honest. I've gone through one dysfunction after another; after a while, shutting people out becomes second nature. But you didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry." she apologized, caressing his face. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.
"Your mood seems a lot lighter." He said.
"It is. You know that question you asked me right before I freaked out and ran away?"
"Yeah."
"I wanna have this baby; and I know that it's crazy with us still being so new and still learning each other, and especially because of the Elliot factor. When you first mentioned 2 weeks ago that I might be pregnant, I started thinking that if I were, maybe you'd want out, and if you did, I swear to you, I would understand."
"I don't want out. Okay? We're it; for me, you are endgame and if god forbid, somewhere down the line we fall apart, I will never love another woman, I will never want another woman, because no one will ever mean to me, what you mean to me and I need you to believe that."
"I want to."
"Then just do it. Trust me to be the man that I say I am; trust me to keep every promise I'll ever make to you; but above all, trust that I will never, ever hurt you! And for the record, you're not crazy; I wanted this baby from the second I started thinking that you might be pregnant." He confessed as his fingers gently brushed her stomach.
"I don't want you to feel pressured into-"
"I would never do anything because I was feeling pressured to. Am I nervous? Yes. Scared? Hell yes but it wouldn't be any different if this were happening a year or two from now; we're gonna be a family. Whether she's mine or his, she's ours and I swear to you, we'll make this work!"
"She, huh?"
"Yeah; I think it's a girl"
"A little soon for that, don't you think?"
"Nope. I was absolutely right about you being pregnant and I'm right about this." There was silence for a moment while they simply stared into each other's eyes, speaking volumes without saying a word. "So, we're ok?"
"We're more than ok." She promised.
"Good, because I can't take missing you another night" he said, and pulled her into his arms, devouring her mouth with his kiss.
.
OLIVIA'S HOME LATER THAT EVENING
Olivia's POV
At the end of the day, Trevor and I lay soaking together in a nice, warm bubble bath. His hard body against my back while his strong arms were wrapped around me made me feel so incredibly relaxed, even though we weren't discussing the most pleasant of topics. The doctor told us that I was five weeks along but since I'd been with both Trevor and Elliot just two days apart, without a paternity test, there was just no way of knowing.
"You will need to tell him eventually…"
"And I will… eventually"
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, it won't make a difference. Even if he is the father, I am not letting him anywhere near my child." I said as I placed my hands protectively over my flat stomach. Just the thought of Elliot being in his or her life frightened me; there was no telling the type of stunts he'd pull.
"Are you sure that's the best thing to do?"
"He is violent and unpredictable and I won't expose my baby to that. I'll have a paternity test done when he or she is born and if he's the father, I'll tell him and we'll deal with it, but I just wanna focus on having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby and I won't be able to do that with him breathing down my neck and stressing me out at every turn"
"I'm not advocating keeping secrets but under the circumstances, I think you're right, and if you believe that waiting is the right thing to do, that's what we'll do. Besides, the only person I want breathing down this gorgeous neck is me." he smiled as he sensually kissed me just beneath my jawbone and his hands traveled south, parting my thighs and exploring between them as he caught my lips in a kiss and I moaned into his mouth. I hoped with all my heart that what he said earlier was right and that we were it, because as much as I had dreaded falling again, it was too late. I already could not imagine my life without this man!
.
Summer turned to fall pretty quickly and now, four months into my pregnancy, I knew that I was right in not telling Elliot about him possibly being the father. I ran into him in the lobby of the building they live in while I was visiting Alex. As I was waiting for the elevator, I stood there, absently rubbing my tiny bump when the elevator doors opened and he stepped out.
"Liv"
I froze. His eyes began to look me over and landed right on my stomach, to which my hand was still attached.
"You're pregnant" it wasn't a question and he did not hide the anger in his voice as he said it.
"Yeah, I am." I confirmed as I moved my hand away and let it fall to my side. "and I need to go so…" I said as I stepped past him to enter the elevator. I had one foot in the car when I suddenly felt his hand wrapped around my upper arm; I turned my head to look at him and was about to protest.
"Mine?" he asked, looking at me with cold eyes. I swallowed hard.
"No." I answered simply "Now if you'll excuse me…" I attempted to walk away but he tightened his grasp on my arm and pulled me in closer to him; so close, our noses were practically touching and he looked me dead in the eye as he spoke, his voice dropped to a low sinister tone.
"You know better than to lie to me, don't you baby?" he said as his hand gripped my belly hard, sending cold fear through me, but I refused to give him the benefit of knowing that I was afraid.
"I am not lying. Now get your hands off of me!" I demanded with as much authority as I could muster. He looked down at his hand on my belly and relaxed his grip then began caressing me there; it made my skin crawl. "I mean it Elliot; MOVE!" he looked up at me and flashed a smile before releasing his hold on my arm.
"Can't be too sure." He grinned, then turned and walked away as if nothing happened. I immediately got into the elevator and pressed the button with urgency. When the doors closed, I backed against the wall, my breath coming in deep, erratic gasps as my body shook. I tried desperately to calm myself but I knew that look and I knew that grin; he was threatening me.
By the time I had gotten up to Alex' apartment, I had managed to collect myself enough so that I appeared calm during my visit with her. Yet, in spite of pretending that I was ok emotionally, my body told another story and I ended up having to go to the hospital that afternoon. The stress of that encounter had left me feeling light-headed and my heart was beating way too fast. Trevor was out of town and so it was Alex who stayed with me. My blood pressure was high, which was unusual because until now, I had been having a problem-free pregnancy. After monitoring me and the baby for a couple hours and getting my pressure back down to a normal range; I was sent home and told to avoid stress.
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OLIVIA'S HOME
Olivia's POV
I tried hard to put the day's events out of my mind but all I could think about was What if? And from those what ifs, I would imagine every horrific scenario that could happen if he found out the truth, that there was in fact a very good chance that I was carrying his child. Later that night, I lay in bed unable to sleep because I missed Trevor and was still unnerved over what happened earlier. I closed the book that was open in my ipad just as a skype call came through.
"Hey baby." I answered, relieved to see Trevor's face
"Hey; how are my girls?"
"We're ok"
"Why do I feel disinclined to believe you?" I suddenly grew quiet.
"Olivia?"
"I ran into Elliot today when I went to see Alex… let's just say, it didn't go well." His face changed and I could see how angry he was.
"Did he touch you again?"
I don't know why I did it but the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
"He didn't, but it was still upsetting and it caused my blood pressure to rise and I felt a little sick; Alex had to take me to the hospital.
"Oh God; are you alright? Is the baby alright? What did the doctor say?" he couldn't hide the worry in his voice or in his eyes that quickly replaced his anger.
"Baby, we're both fine, I promise. The doctor said that it was stress and that I need to avoid it and I will."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there; you could've…" I knew what he was thinking.
"But I didn't; we're ok… I was just so scared." I said as my tears broke. It was the first time I'd let myself cry all day.
"Sweetie, don't cry; remember what the doctor said about stress. Why don't you try to get some rest? "
"It's hard without you here." I confessed as I wiped my eyes.
"Then how about we pretend that I'm right there? Prop me up, get comfortable and I'll talk to you until you fall asleep, no matter how long it takes."
"I think I'd like that." I was starting to feel better already.
I lay there in bed with Trevor and we talked and talked until I couldn't stay awake and finally drifted off to sleep. The last thing I recall was him saying I love you just before I closed my eyes and had a wonderful nights sleep where I dreamed of him throughout. Little did I know, while I was in dreamland that today's episode was only the beginning of the hell I'd go through because of Elliot, and I had no idea just how bad it would get!
.
CASEY'S APARTMENT BROOKLYN HEIGHTS A WEEK LATER
"I gotta say, this place looks amazing!" Olivia said as she took a seat on the sofa.
"Thanks."
"I keep telling you, you missed your calling." Alex teased. "Your eye for interior design is incredible!"
"Ah, but my gift for convicting criminals is even better!"
"Never the modest one, huh Case?" Olivia joked and they shared a laugh but Casey quickly got serious again.
"Guys, this isn't just an ordinary girl's night. I um… I have something I need to tell you both."
"you're not going back to Chicago, are you?" Olivia asked
"No, no it's nothing like that."
"Good, because I don't think either of us could take losing you." Alex said. Casey's eyes immediately filled with tears that quickly spilled before she could catch them; she didn't want to do this, didn't want to devastate her sisters this way but since she had gotten that diagnosis 4 months ago, it wasn't good. Her doctor was struggling to find just the right combination of drugs but so far, nothing was working. She didn't look it, but she was getting sicker and if she continued at this rate, she wouldn't last another six months. While she prayed for a miracle, she knew that she needed to prepare not just herself, but the two women she loved so dearly for what was looking right now like the inevitable.
"None of us have a choice this time." She said in an almost-whisper as Olivia and Alex looked on, confused.
"Honey, what do you mean by that?" Alex asked as she put her arm around Casey. the redhead sat silently for a moment as the blonde and brunette gave nervous glances to each other, both unsure of just what revelation their friend was about to make.
"I wanted to tell you both; for years I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how." She continued as her tears continued falling. "Please don't hate me."
"Case, we could never hate you, you know that" Olivia soothed as she held Casey's hand between hers. "Just tell us what's wrong." There was a pause as Casey looked over at Olivia and then at Alex. She knew that she could trust these women with anything, always could and now, she mentally kicked herself for not having given them that same trust sooner. She reached over and took Alex' hand, holding on to it as tightly as she was holding Olivia's; she needed their strength for what she was about to say, and with quivering lips and a deluge of tears falling down her face. she took a deep breath and spoke the words that she never thought she'd be saying to the two people who meant more to her than anyone else.
"I'm dying."
For an entire hour, there were no words spoken between the women. But the emotions ran high. Shock, hurt, disbelief, confusion; and there were tears, lots of tears but not a word. They held each other as they cried; they held each other in silence. They paced the room, held themselves, took turns holding Casey, held Casey together and when they had finally come to a silent agreement that they were individually, yet collectively strong enough to continue, Casey tearfully recounted her story of how the only man she had ever truly loved had betrayed her with a death sentence.
.
Over the course of the next week, Olivia and Alex were slowly learning to accept Casey's news and decided that instead of being sad they would treasure whatever time they did have left; Casey made them promise that they would not spend it mourning her when she wasn't even gone yet.
"We cried our tears already, now save the rest for when I'm gone!" she'd ordered them. Today; a rare Saturday where all three of them were free, they'd taken a trip to a day spa to relax and as they lounged in their robes while their avocado masks set...
"I can't believe what an ass he is. What gives him the right to think that he can dominate your life?" Casey ranted angrily.
"You just said he's an ass, there's your explanation right there!" Alex quipped.
"I just wish that he would get it through his head that we're over and I'm not coming back; but no, he continues to harass me. I don't even want to think about what it would be like if he knew that this baby might be his." Olivia said
"Elliot Stabler? World's most possessive man? The word hell comes to mind." Alex half-joked. "Thank God for Trevor."
"Trust me, I do!" Olivia said and they continued their conversation; none of them aware that there was a fly on the wall taking in every delicious word and smiling to herself at the thought of the fallout that would be unavoidable once she told Elliot what she had overheard.
.
AN HOUR LATER, ELLIOT'S OFFICE…
Barely eleven AM and he was already on his second full glass of scotch. These days, he couldn't think about anything but her and how she'd betrayed him by carrying Langan's baby. She took it too fucking far this time! Was what he had been saying to himself over and over ever since that day he saw her in the lobby of his building. He was angrier than he'd ever been in his life and in that moment, he wanted to hurt her; hell, if there hadn't been so many witnesses, he would have. I should have fucking strangled the life out of her and took that little bastard out at the same time! He thought and smiled as he took another gulp from his glass. How did he do it? She doesn't love him, so there's no way she wanted to have a baby for him; what did he, poke holes in the condom? He stopped himself, now angry at the thought of Trevor making love to Olivia but at the same time, aroused at the thought of her naked body. He stroked himself; he would kill to be inside her again…
.
The girls were now having pedicures done when Olivia's phone rang. She saw that it was from a private number but decided to answer in case it was important.
"Benson"
"Does he make you come?" Elliot's drunken voice came through on the other end.
"What?"
"Langan. When he's fucking you, does he make you come?"
"You're sick!"
"Answer me. Does he make your pussy as wet as I used to? Do you scream when he's insi" she hung up before he could finish.
"Liv? Who was that?" Alex asked.
"Nobody"
.
"You bitch!" he seethed upon realizing that Olivia had hung up on him. He finished off the half-full glass of scotch in one gulp and threw the glass into a wall, causing it to shatter.
"Stupid fucking whores!" he mumbled as he got up to pour himself another drink. Just as he put the glass to his lips, his cell phone rang; he took a big swig before he answered. "What?"
"Hello to you too." Mairym purred.
"Mairym, not in the fucking mood; what do you want?" he yelled and took another drink.
"How about you meet me at Barney's and bring your Amex?"
"Yeah, cuz that'll happen!" he sneered
"Fine, but no shopping spree, no reveal on what I overheard."
"Who gives a fuck?"
"You give a fuck; now do I get my shit or not?"
"Fine, but if it's not good, everything goes back!"
"Do I sound worried?"
.
ELLIOT'S APARTMENT EARLY EVENING
Elliot and Mairym entered his apartment, each carrying several large shopping bags from Barney's. They made their way into the huge master bedroom where they put everything down before she took off her hat and flung herself onto the bed, emitting a deep, tired sigh as she lay there on her back. Elliot had moved her back in two months ago and she wasted no time making herself at home in the luxury apartment.
"Well?" Elliot asked impatiently.
"Well, what?" Mairym asked
"What the fuck did you overhear?"
"Oh, that." she remembered as she sat up.
"Oh that." he mocked as he drew his hand back, threatening to slap her.
"So I was at the spa this morning getting my facial and in walks Olivia with bitch 1 and bitch 2 in tow. They, of course didn't notice that it was me under the seaweed wrap and they start going on and on like they're the only bitches in the place. ANYWAAAY, after a while, you become the subject of discussion among them; Elliot's an ass, Elliot's a loser, Elliot's the biggest prick walking the entire planet and someone needs to kick his ass – ok, that part was me but I digress. So, perfect fucking Olivia starts going on about how she wishes you'd stay the fuck away from her and let her be happy with the new piece; which, I gotta tell ya is not the worst idea in the world!"
"Get to the point before I shoot us both!"
"Chill, oh violent one." She said as she rolled her eyes. "Where was I? Oh yeah, so miss perfect is boo-hooin how much she hates you and in the same breath, says that she hopes you never find out that the kid she's knocked up with is probably yours!"
"What?" he was in total shock.
"You heard me Jekyll, miss prim and proper is trying to pull a fast one on you!" his jaw clenched as he got up, grabbed his jacket and stormed out. "Of course he's gonna go to her; fuck my life!" Mairym said as he walked out.
.
OLIVIA'S HOME
"Ok, baby, I'll see you in a few." Olivia said to Trevor and hung up the phone. Saturday was date night for them and he would be here soon to pick her up. As soon as she hung up, she heard banging on her front door. She left the living room, he phone still in her hand and made her way down the hall, into the foyer. Through the glass panels in the double doors, she could see that Elliot was on the other side and she wanted no part of it.
"Elliot, leave!" she shouted from inside.
"Olivia, open this fucking door!"
"I mean it Elliot!"
"You open this fucking door or so help me God, I will break it down! Now open the goddamn door!" He yelled, banging even louder; she was terrified and suddenly didn't feel too good as her heart began racing. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" he screamed and began throwing his body against the heavy oak. She quickly tucked herself into a corner and called 911
"911, what is your emergency?"
"This is detective Olivia Benson Badge 4015. I need a unit sent to my home, I have a trespasser attempting to break in."
"OLIVIA!" Elliot screamed
"We have your location detective Benson, a unit has been dispatched "
"Please hurry." She said and hung up before the operator could speak again.
"I am warning you, Elliot!" she screamed while cradling her small belly; she felt faint and in spite of taking deep breaths, could not seem to get enough air in her lungs.
"What the fuck are you gonna do? Shoot me, you stupid bitch?" he mocked and again threw himself into the door. Maybe if he'd known that in that exact moment, she had grabbed her keys and was now reaching into the closet by the door for the lockbox that held her gun, he would have backed off, but instead, he continued behaving like a stark-raving lunatic and was even more determined to get to her.
As she slid the clip into her gun with shaky hands, she looked over her shoulder, watching as the lock began to give and the doors came closer to completely bursting open. Nervously, she moved from the closet and positioned herself in front of the doors, making sure that she put enough distance between herself and them so that she wouldn't be hit when they flew open.
"Elliot, don't make me do something you'll regret!" she threatened as she took the safety off the gun and pointed it toward the doors just as they gave and he came bursting through, looking like a mad man.
"The police are on their way." She said as she kept the gun trained on him.
"You lied to me!" he accused, slowly stepping closer. She took a step back.
"Don't come any closer!" she warned. She thought her heart would beat its way out of her chest, it was pounding so hard! She could hear the police sirens in the distance but Elliot was so enraged that he seemed oblivious to them.
"You know that I hate being lied to, Olivia; especially when it comes to what's mine! That baby is mine and you looked me in the face and lied!" he yelled!
"I-"
"You what? You gonna deny it? You been out of the loop too long, baby. I think I need to remind you what happens when you lie to me!" he was coming closer.
"Elliot please, just go." She begged, her hands were shaking and she felt like she would pass out at any moment.
"I'm not going anywhere, now give me the fucking gun, cuz we both know you're not gonna pull that trigger."
"I mean it!" she said in a whisper as tears flooded her face.
"I SAID, GIMME THE FUCKING GUN OLIVIA!" he screamed as he lunged at her. She quickly pulled the trigger and he fell to the floor as the bullet tore through his shoulder. She felt sick to her stomach but she didn't dare take the gun off him as he lay there writhing on the floor, holding his shoulder. The police had arrived and she could hear them approaching the house.
"Detective, we need you to put down your weapon." She heard one of the officers say. She immediately raised her hands in mock surrender then lowered her gun and sat it down on the table beside the staircase."
"Arrest this cunt, she shot me!" Elliot screamed. Olivia stood trembling and had broken into a cold sweat.
"Why didn't you just leave?" she said then suddenly lurched forward, dropping to her hands and knees, and threw up on the floor.
.
HOSPITAL
She had given her statement to the police about the events that lead up to the shooting and was told not to worry, that it looked like a clear-cut case of self defense and that it should blow over very easily.
News had travelled fast about the incident and her squad had gathered at the hospital to show their support. None of them could believe that she'd had to resort to shooting Elliot, though they all agreed that the guy had it coming.
"Stabler needs to be grateful that his ass is still breathin!" Fin said as he and Brian stood around, drinking coffee.
"Man trust me, if Liv had meant to kill him, he'd be in the morgue right now!" Brian seethed. He could not believe that Elliot had gone this far again!
"Mr. Cassidy, you can go in now." The nurse informed him. "Excuse me man." He apologized as he left Fin to follow the nurse to Elliot's room. He walked in to find Elliot standing and putting his shirt on. His shoulder was sporting a small bandage to cover the stitches he had just received.
"Hey Man." Elliot greeted as if nothing were wrong.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Brian asked him, still unable to wrap his mind around this whole mess.
"Cas, it's just a flesh wound. Clean shot, no muscle, no bone!"
"I'm not talking about the wound you ass! What the hell were you doin at her place?"
"Just trying to talk to her."
"Talk? You broke down her fucking doors and lunged at her; she shot you in self defense!"
"He said, she said. Who you gonna believe?"
"I'm inclined to go with her version of events."
"She lied to me Cas! She looked me straight in the face and told me that that baby wasn't mine when she knew all along that it is!"
"Might be! It might be yours!"
"So you knew?"
"I overheard her mention it to Al a few months ago."
"And you didn't fucking tell me?"
"It wasn't my place!"
"It is EXACTLY your place!" Elliot yelled "She's trying to keep me away from my kid so another man can raise it and I am not lettin that happen again!" Brian was confused.
"Again? What the hell are you talkin about? You know what, forget it!"
"Forget it? Wow!"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!" Brian yelled "I've tried, El. I've tried way harder than you deserved, I even forgave you for getting piss drunk and starting a scene at my wedding man, what the fuck? I can't keep doing this!"
"Then don't."
"What?"
"You heard me, don't do it anymore. Cuz to be honest Cas, I'm sick of your shit!"
"My shit? You're sick of my shit? Tell me El, what shit might that be?"
"Ever since Liv and me broke up, all you do is lord your perfect fucking life over me, rubbin it in my face every chance you get!"
"Bitch. ass…" Brian shook his head, not believing what was coming out of Elliot's mouth. "YOU ruined your marriage. Nobody but you; you had an incredible woman and you took her for granted because you're a greedy son of a bitch and that's who you've always been! You never deserved Olivia!"
"But you did? That's right, you think I don't know that you've been in love with my wife all these years? I've seen the way you look at her, the way you're so protective of her, the way you break your neck to do anything for her; MY FUCKING WIFE! Tell something Cas, she let you fuck behind my back? That the reason she wouldn't come to Chicago, cuz you were knee deep in her? But I suppose it's only fair; I mean I fucked your wife, you fucked mine!"
Brian had finally had enough and sent his fist flying into Elliot's face, knocking him to the floor.
"You're fucking insane, you know that? I'm out!"
"Good, go."
No El, I don't think you get it. I'm done. Done with you, done with the business, I am the fuck OVER IT!" he declared and stormed out of the room.
.
Just as it had happened two weeks ago, Olivia's blood pressure was sky-high by the time she'd gotten to the hospital. 2 hours later, it was within normal range again but the doctor was worried because the baby seemed to be in some distress when she was first brought in, and although the fetal monitor was now giving normal readings, they had prepped Olivia for an ultrasound just to be sure that everything was ok.
"This little one looks just fine!" The doctor assured Olivia as Trevor stood by her side, holding her hand."
"Hear that baby? She's fine!" he said. Tonight had been a trying night for both of them. He'd arrived at her place to find it swamped with police officers. The neighbor had told him that there had been a shooting and his heart dropped. He couldn't stop thanking god enough when he'd gotten inside to find that Olivia was the one who had fired the gun, but he could see looking at her that she wasn't well.
"You don't know that it's a girl." She smiled, trying to mask the fear she felt.
"Well, if you want to know, I can tell you right now; the baby's in a perfect position" the doctor informed them. They didn't need to think about it. They'd wanted to know since the beginning of the fourth month when she'd had her last ultrasound but the baby wouldn't cooperate. They both jumped at the chance.
"We wanna know."They said in unison. The doctor smiled and moved the wand over Olivia's belly, stopping a couple of inches below her navel then looking at the monitor.
"Daddy knows his stuff; in four months, you two will be welcoming a little girl! Congratulations!" Olivia's mouth fell open as tears slid down her face.
"A girl!" she turned to Trevor "You were right!"
"I was right!" he said, his own eyes full of tears as he kissed her. Right now, she wished more than anything that she could just let everything go and focus on the joy she felt at this moment. But it was impossible. She'd had to shoot Elliot because of the rage he was in at finding out that she'd lied to him about the baby. This wasn't the end of it; far from it. She knew that he would go to any lengths to make her suffer for keeping the truth from him and if that wasn't enough; tonight she shot him. She would have plenty of time to worry about Elliot; Elliot would make sure of it. This was far from over!
.
I am so curious, even more so than usual to know what you guys think of this chapter; so PLEASE review! The next chapter... well you'll just have to wait for that, now won't you? Lol, thanks for reading!
