Not too long after our reconciliation, I returned home trusting my harmless bag to the abandoned Yukino to know what's best. However, upon returning home I didn't find the peace of mind I desperately sought. The sofa? There you are my sole companion in life now let me once again burden you to hold onto the tears from my scorched mind.
A simpler way of saying it is...
My face heats up at the thought and I squirm. What the hell you moron?! All that embarrassing touchy-feely stuff is going to make me vomit! So embarrassing!
Our (that is, me and Gahama) return home was awkward grunts and wordless phrases, taking the next step left both of us with a speech impediment it seems. Thinking of anything about tomorrow was making me nauseous like the thought of Yui following me and maybe stalking me more then she already does. The thoughts of a yandere Yui was terrifying but even worse was an ice queen scorned. Indeed, I would need experience with the former first but undoubtedly, Yukino Yukinoshita didn't let things slide.
The best solution to this was to kill myself but I doubt I'd have the guts. It'll be too painful for starters and there would be too much extraneous energy involved. A noose would work about now but that takes like, quite a while...
I want to die so bad...
Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by a chubby grey striped cat lazily looking at my direction in a gaze I'm too familiar with which was of mild irritation or full irritation. The line between them is sort of hard to notice for animals but either way, the look reminded me of a certain other cat lover I ditched. Right yeah, I'll have to make up an apology of some sort right?
Kamakura, do you pity me? I'm certainly jealous of you, getting quite cozy there being the audience of my eternal suffering aren't you?
In indifference, his ears would flick and he would lick his paw. In my experience, that was body language for "I could care less" which now that I think about it, something that Miura often did whenever Tobe would take hold of the conversation. Admiring your nail's was a tactic of the female species to satisfy the male's egocentric behavior yet also keep their own minds clean of such filth.
I wish us guys could have such a brilliant tactic but unless your name was Totsuka Saika then chances are it'll burn and fail like today almost did.
"Onii-chan?"
A lightly voice cautiously peered into the room afraid of any creepy brothers during an identity crisis. Thing is though it isn't an identity crisis this time Komachi! Just someone wallowing in self-pity, onii-chan doesn't want to disturb you all right?
Upon thinking that, a great heavy weight sat upon my back. Ooof! Wait, this is much heavier then Kamakura!
"Having a identity crisis again? Or maybe something that broke the camel's back? Especially one as hunched as yours."
Hey, my posture was perfectly fine you seemingly fat she-devil! My rib-cage dug into the sofa and I was cut off from all chances of escape. Never judge a book by it's cover and that went for me and doubly so for her, not that I'd ever say anything to her face. Girls were oh-so sensitive about their weight, especially for those that can't help non-stop eating snacks in the club-room.
Ugh, and I was doing such a good job of distracting myself too.
As quick as I was crushed, the great mass relieved me of it's burden swapping physical pain for emotional pain.
"Ew, onii-chan you stink."
My to-do list small and my mind too occupied, I should've jumped at the thought of having a bath to calm my aching nerves and stiff joints. Truly Komachi was a help in every way!
But wait, traumatizing memories of girls and sweat flooded back to my minds eye playing the miserable highlights of my life on endless repeat. For instance, I would sweat profusely at the thought of holding a girl's hand in class for certain activities. Their looks of disgust forever imprinted to learn from. Ew! Don't you like, wash your hands? In the end, they got sick riling my suspicions that maybe I actually did have Hikigerma though that was long ago.
"I suppose onii-chan does stink today. I'll go take a bath." Saying it in the most blunt manner, I find myself surprised at my imouto's shocked gasp.
"Wait? Where's the snarky retort? The complete change of subject? Justifying why it's society's fault? Onii-chan, are you all right?"
"But it's me that stinks though?"
I appreciate the concern but shouldn't you show it when something bad is actually happening? Like my emotional distress instead? How about that?
Though she was right on one front, my odor was likely clouding up the room and staining the couch. I proceeded to get up and move out to take a nice refreshing bath.
"Man, I want to die so baaaad."
"Eh?"
Sinking in, the overwhelming pleasure of the hot water soothed and massaged my bones. The pleasure instantly calming my nerves even with the day still fresh on the mind. The bath was also a great way to get away from Komachi's bothersome curiosity of my private life. A brotherly bond can surpass many things but physical traits for both sexes is not one of them. Now spread out in the tub, I relax.
This form of meditation allowed me to stay calm and logically speculate the events of tomorrow. Feeling the need for human contact with chosen subject, subject B would be close to subject A, a specimen not used to circumstances of a societal nature involving feelings of lo-.
Feelings.
I need to add that to my calculations even with how unpredictable it could be. Taking the further steps in our relationship, I struggle to maintain my boundaries once considered safe. Yet the disease that was the Yuigahama virus had breached my strong immune system, even the Yukinoshita's barriers were not effective counter-measures. Just how powerful was Yuigerma?
Even under the pressure of my rumbling stomach, I continued to run simulations of tomorrows events. Mainly of the walking affection giver I'd have no choice but to accept. Even then, that was perhaps better then being trapped alone with a murderous Yukino hell-bent on revenge or a somewhat cute kouhai dragging me along as free manual labor.
Relieved and tensed at the same time, I sink further into the steamy water and almost lose myself in the luxury.
With yesterday's over-dramatic events once again fresh in my brain and my state of ongoing embarrassment warn on my sleeve, I force every fiber of my being to battle against the psychological amount of illusionary kinetic energy pushing me back. A very scary delusional way of saying I really, really don't want to go.
Last time I said that, it was because I was scared. This time, I said it because I was fearful of any intimate actions to be forced on me.
But wait, didn't that just mean I'm going round in circles? Talk about progress...
If loners controlled the world, it'd be the perfect utopia sure but I'm pretty sure our progress as human beings would be dramatically slowed.
The daily site of the school seemed strangely oppressive, the atmosphere thick with frost 's like someone held a grudge and that hate manifested itself as an icy atmosphere before the kill. Forever haunting the boy who ditched the victim to her fate. Could Yuuko be haunting this place I wonder?
It was then amidst the crowds of the other students, I spotted a floating lone hair-bun prancing about it's hunting grounds and now it's getting closer!
"Ahh Hikki!
A wild Yui Yuigahama appeared! Jogging towards me, I try with all my might to ignore gravity's effect on her, errmm ahem's. Some of the other passer-by's faces turned to witness the science project of how a loner would react when a girl calls for him. I know I'm flustered but stop looking all of you, ever heard of privacy? In a act of (too) late consideration, she halted huffing and puffing in front of me. Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief. I thought she was really going to hug me right there...
Upon meeting my gaze, she then tilted her head and made the dumbest smile she could conceive with her eyes closed.
One of the brightest smiles I've seen and also one of the dumbest. It's effect on me was no less lessened however, my rib-cage felt like they were trying to contain a great building pressure and not very successfully. Are you actively trying to turn this into a romantic comedy? I'm so embarrassed!
"W-why are you here?"
In confusion, she instantly looked around. The summer breeze whirled past us and her bun remained still while the locks of her hair fluttered and shook in the wind.
"Huh? Me?"
"Yeah, you."
Her form lowered and she raised a finger, her nails coated a glittery pink and she played with a lock of her name beside her ear. A sign I mistook for hidden affection back in my regretful middle school days. In a more subdued voice, she muttered.
"W-well, I was waiting for you."
"Oh, oh, Oh! Right. That's n-not something you have to do."
Along with that more subdued voice, she raised a much more subdued smile whilst moving her glance to the ground and with that, her words moved my heart.
"It's something I want to do though."
Yuigaham-Yui made that wish known to me. As a response, I make a small secret promise known to myself and only myself.
"In that case, shall we go to class then?"
"Yup! Right! Sure thing!"
The boisterous girl half-heatedly held out her hand before twitching in hesitation then placing it back to her side, mindful of my own hesitance towards showing such lewd publicity. However, it is a notion that I'll return someday, eventually. Another small promise I make to myself when heading into the warm confines of the school.
That first small promise also still remained. For all the times I'll keep Yuigahama waiting, I won't keep her waiting for long.
The atmosphere in class seemed warmer upon entering, the aftermath of the raw chaos valentines brought seemed to have dulled. About as subdued as Yuigahama's struggle to not close the gap between us. Hey, just a bit longer and you won't have to all right? Your group proves to be an excellent distraction.
Instinctively looking at the area of my seating place, Totsuka Saika heartily waved at me sending me inwardly jumping for joy.
A harsh poking jabbed my shoulder, a tactic spreading too fast for me to stop. Upon turning back to Yui, she whispered silently.
"Wait for me after class Hikki?"
"Uhh yeah, I see you later-"
"Right, thanks!"
"...outside..."
My words went unheard however as she asserted herself inside her clique once again. Thanks to that, I'd have to brace myself for some Yui-punches. Hold on, doesn't that mean she's training to be like Hiratsuka? Well, technically she has a boyfriend now I guess so there are still ways to reverse the effects. Absolutely.
Looking back to my place, Totsuka rested his perfectly formed cheeks in his perfectly formed hardened hands. He had a secret place in my heart but I'm not worthy of your love...
I mean, isn't this considered cheating? Two-timing? I really am the scum of the earth!
"Hachiman."
"Sup."
Even with human perfection literally in front of me, I find myself uncharacteristically insecure. We and Yuiga-non, we didn't make a scene did we? No one suspects a thing right?
"Hachiman, you feel alright? You look distracted."
Surprised, my shoulders straightened by themselves. Naturally, one of the people I've grown close with would notice my subtle changes in attitude and personality. In contrast to my first year here, I've really changed huh?
"It's nothing, just little things is all."
Thankfully, someone else became the center of attention derailing the topic.
"Oi Yuigahama-san. I can trust in your opinion right?"
Tobe, with that question heard aloud had the class's attention. He may sound like an idiot fellow class-not-mates but Tobe is really a good guy! He even got my attention with that so he must have the Hikigaya vote of confidence!
"O-oh yeah! Sure you can!"
"All right! Here goes, which guy is more attractive d'ya think? Me or Yamato?"
I take everything I said about Tobe back. He really is an idiot! Even so, I hated to admit it was a valid question. My brow twitched as I impatiently waited for her response.
"Huh? Oh, errrmm, well..."
"Don't leave us hangin! It's a serious competition yeah so answer truthfully. I'm counting on ya Yuigahama!"
Keep going, I dare you. Even more bothering was her upcoming answer. Yui looked around the room looking for a savior of a sort I couldn't fill. Once her summer-coloured eyes went over to me, she then padded her fist into her open palm and turned back to the male oppressors.
"You're equal to each other!"
The male hierarchy held empty stares as they felt their pride and spirit fall to the darkest pits of the human condition.
I couldn't help but feel relieved though. That response as hurtful as it to those it was aimed at, tasted like dessert.
"What's with that on-the-fence answer? I'm relying on you!"
"She said you both get a point. Stop asking, it's like annoying."
Immediately upon hearing the voice of a cobra, Tobe and Yamato backed off respectfully.
"Ahh right away ma'am!"
"As you say Yumiko-san!"
My tense shoulders loosened and I relaxed back in my seat. Eavesdropping even more then usual, I was only doing it because I was just curious. Whatever Yui's taste in guys were, it was her taste and I have no say in it! Like at all! It's her life and all!
In a more grumpy mood then usual, I turn back to one who would never let me down even if they tried to. Totsuka held a knowing glance my way.
"I see, if it's like that..."
"Huh? What, you mean Tobe?"
He then waved his hands playing it off.
"It's nothing Hachiman. You don't need to be concerned I'm sure!"
Huh? Well what if you got sick or injured? It's my duty to care for you like a life partner should.
"Well, if you say so then."
Leaning in dangerously close, Totsuka spoke.
"You and Yuigahama-san don't usually enter class together after all."
"M-maybe so."
The class remained noisy as ever as the two bothered the other girls in class about their competition in something cosmetic yet some things remained the same. Yui Yuigahama is unrealistically considerable of others and Totsuka Saika is more perceptive then I thought.
Waiting outside of class for her, I go into a deep temporary sense of special loner-meditation. One of my 108 loner skills. Using this, time would go by at twice the speed and I would sift through the corners of my mind to organize and estimate.
"Hikki!"
Beside me, a pink-haired creature of known origin stood beside me with her hands clutched into tiny balls. Fearful for my body, I instinctively leaned back.
"You said you'll wait for me!"
"Huh? But I did wait."
"I mean in class!"
"But I did say outside but you were gone before I could finish."
"You did? Ugh, it doesn't matter now, where shall we go then?"
Huh? She was asking me? Ohh, right. This is something that couples do right? Relying on shoujo manga cliches only got me into trouble and that's probably how it'll always be. With nothing to guide me, I settle for something everyday for me.
"I guess we can eat at the usual place?"
Clueless, she asked again.
"Usual place?"
Whaddya think genius? Hands in pockets, I slouched and moved onward with Yui trailing closely behind.
Upon reaching my solitary spot, I sat down on the step and heard Yuigahama do the same. It was definitely more peaceful then before, the sun shone warmly at our fronts bringing with it a blissful summer heat.
"This place, huh?"
"Yeah, guaranteed sunny weather and privacy."
Upon hearing the words come out of my mouth, the weather grew insanely hot! Man, I think it's better to go back inside would you say so Yuigahama?
However, I couldn't quite believe it upon seeing her face. Yeah, it's too hot for you too huh? Hahaa...
"Yeah, privacy..."
You do have a safety filter on there right? Please stop your thoughts before you're forever corrupted, I won't be able to look at you the same way if you don't...
Upon setting her bag down, she rummaged through it though not before turning her gaze back towards my still sat form.
"Huh? Hikki, are you not going to eat?"
I've been prepared for this problem so her concern will not be necessary this time. I already have the change to go to the convenience store and buy some bread so there really was no issue. Komachi left earlier then usual for exams and even if she did prepare any lunch, I had no bag to store it in. The possessor of that object is someone I left implying I'll be back.
I look towards Yui who had her own pink bento box in hand with a prodding gaze and I return it with a content look.
"I don't have my bag with me so I don't have lunch, anyway I'm not hungry so enjoy."
Yet my gaze lingered onto that half-open box. The food looked clearly edible and my stomach longed for it. I felt a pang of sympathy for her mother, her daughter's inability for cooking only piles on more tasks for her workload as a house-wife.
And for whoever marries her in the future. Perhaps that's a sacrifice I'll have to make, I mean no other guy will be able to stomach whatever monstrosities she cooks up right?
Noticing my longing gaze to that package she held in her lap, she then looked back and forth between it and me then came to a conclusion.
"I know! We'll share this then, right Hikki?"
Acting like it's the most natural thing in the world, the chopsticks held between her fingers would clatter together as a prelude to this festivity.
"There's r-really no need..."
"Not taking no for an answer. Besides, you'll like it I think."
As long as you haven't touched it, we're good. But wait, what about my consent? Before I could think up any words of refusal, a pair of chopsticks holding onigiri is presented in front of me.
"Go on. Say 'ahhh'."
What the hell? Shaped like a panda, I find the situation slightly amusing. Yeah I know I gotta apologize pan-san but give me a minute to get my bearings.
Looking away, the panda is only brought closer to my lips and the summer heat makes my cheeks burn. It's sunburn, obviously it is.
"Come on Hikki. 'Ahhhh'."
"A-aah-Ahhhh."
Opening my mouth and my last line of defence, Yui pushes the rice-ball in and I close my jaw chewing it down in mind of the communicative act we're currently performing.
Mhmm, yeah it's good but I can feed myself. Seriously, what was the point in that? I felt like a pet or like a child being fed.
I pay close particular attention to where those chopsticks were going as I anticipated the next meal. Instead, Yui took hold of a sushi roll and then devoured it with the same chopsticks. Y-Yui, what do I keep saying? Pay attention to your surroundings at all times, even to things so obviously in front of you. Eating from the same pair of chopsticks is just unsanitary and is a great transport for germs and getting sick and-
And then a sushi roll was prepared in front of me to feast.
"Ehe~! Come on Hikki. 'Ahhh!'
"A-a-ahh-ahhhh."
With that blissful smile in front of me, It was something I wanted to keep up for just a little while longer. Hygiene, be damned.
All right, done. I'll finish this in 2-3 chapters
