All characters with the exception of my own belong to Lauren Faust, Her team, and Hasbro. As stated before, I can only claim ownership of my personal characters and an old computer. This is a non for profit story meant for enjoyment and fun.
Inner Chaos
Chapter 9 – Skin
Twilight watched Grevin begin to fiddle with the straps holding the gauntlet to his arm with great anticipation. She wanted to take in every detail so she could make the most complete set of notes she could. Her eyes grew wide as the first gauntlet fell to the ground with a soft thud drawing her gaze to his fingers which quickly moved to the other gauntlet in a well practiced manner. She didn't blink at the firelight gave brief glimpses of his skin tone in the evening light. Within moments the second gauntlet fell joining its twin on the ground at his feet. She watched as he rolled the sleeves of his shirt up a bit on his forearms and sat back letting his arms rest on his knees, his palms pointed upwards allowing all the ponies to see. "Well...this is a start...please give me a few moments to get used to this. I don't exactly show my face to every single person-"
"Pony." Pinkie Pie said appearing over his shoulder before grinning and popping back over where she had been sitting before.
Twilight couldn't help but smile at her friends antics but that soon stopped when the firelight washed over his exposed skin showing her part of what he looked like. His forearms and hands looked strong and lean with toned muscle, and his skin lightly tanned and he had a few small scars in some places, and though they seemed aged there was a pair of them that made her pause. Beginning from his wrists on both of his arms was a medium scar running down the middle stopping just before his elbows. She slowly raised a hoof about to ask a question when he pulled his arms back and raised them to the edges of his hood taking the fabric into a light grip.
Grevin sighed as he slowly rose to his feet as he pulled the fabric of the hood back allowing the warm glow of the fire to wash his skin in light. The mane six all rose to their feet some stepping closer their anticipation showing clearly on their faces. As he lowered his hands they could see everything except for his eyes which remained closed. His hair was medium length stopping just below his ears its color a very dark brown if not black and it was unkempt and somewhat wild looking. His face had a strong jawline, lean and toned leading into a somewhat muscled neck. His skin was smooth and tanned as well, showing a small amount of stubble along his jaw, but there was one flaw. Beginning from the base of his left eye and running down the middle of his left cheek was a thin aged scar, clearly made from the work of a blade.
Twilight felt her face heat up slightly as she looked at him, taking in his features. With his hood down and cloak pushed back some she could see how broad his shoulders were as well as how well his armor fit him putting most of the palace guards to shame. As she focused more on his face something caught her attention. "Um...Grevin? Your eyes are still closed. Are you alright?"
Applejack had moved around to Grevin's front and had joined her friends in taking in his features, her own cheeks taking on a slight red hue of their own. Upon hearing Twilight ask her question she turned her head and found that the other ponies had similar looks on their faces as she did causing a slight furrowing of her brow before turning her gaze back to her new friend. "Easy does it everypony, just give him a moment to get comfortable." She moved closer and reached up placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Just take yer time sugar-cube. We're not going to judge you."
Grevin nodded once more before taking a steadying breath and then opening his eyes resulting in a small collective gasp from the mane six. The six ponies didn't dare blink as the took in what they saw, a pair of red eyes staring back at them. While many times, eyes such as those would mean that the one who held them were evil, his eyes were different. They held no malice, no hate, but instead they held a look of concern, and a hint of sadness. All in all he looked to be quite exotic and strong...if not mysterious and fearsome.
What he saw when his eyes adjusted to the dim firelight surprised him to say the least. The six ponies were standing there silently with wide eyes, slightly open jaws and some had hints of red adorning their cheeks. His eyes darted to each pony his breath coming in slow steady breaths in an attempt to calm himself. The only sound that filled the air was the pop and crack of the large campfire. The silence was deafening and it worried him. Perhaps this was a mistake, perhaps he should try to escape before they could become to afraid of him. He took a small step back as his hands began to instinctively reach for his hood to pull it back up when he saw Twilight step forward and raise her hoof placing it on his hand. "No...it's ok Grevin."
He pulled back a bit a look of surprise washing over his features. "You...you're not frightened of me? "
Rarity blinked and shook her head as she stepped forward "Why would we be frightened of you dear?"
He looked down a moment as he allowed his hands to drop once again. "Where I come from, anything that is different tends to be looked down upon and hated. Especially when they tend to look and have abilities as I do."
Pinkie Pie snorted out a small giggle, "Well that's silly, we don't see anything evil, we just see you."
He shook his head as he knelt down and rested an arm on his knee. "I don't think you understand. Where I come from I am far from normal. I may have the basic appearance of an average human but I'm not one. I'm stronger and faster than an average human, also my magic is different then what most people can use. Then there are my eyes, all of which make me appear monstrous and combine that with my physical appearance and how imposing I can be even when just standing in place doing nothing and it makes for something that people love to hate. So you'll have to forgive me when I have a hard time believing that you can just say that you see past all that so easily."
This caught Twilight's attention. Human...she had heard that term before back in Canterlot. She raised her hoof to her chin in thought and after a few moments her eyes widened as it hit her. Humans! They were creatures of myth and legend only mentioned in a few rare texts in the Canterlot Archives. She would have to ask him about this later.
Rainbow Dash snorted and flew over the fire a frown on her face as she moved so she could look directly into Grevin's eyes. "You think we would let something like that make us think differently of you? Were you expecting us to be afraid of you? To hate you? That's not cool."
Applejack nodded "That's right, you've already proven to us that you mean no harm. So stop thinking we're gonna hate you cuz it's not gonna happen." She smiled as she sat down before him. "And don't worry about the folk in Ponyville, we'll make sure the pony folk give you a fair shake when they meet you."
Grevin slowly nodded in hesitant acceptance as he allowed himself to relax and sit back while still facing his new friends. "...Very well...I appreciate that, and I'll do my best to relax more around you six. However, when in town, if I ever go to town, I still would prefer to keep my hood up...at least for the time being. This will take some getting used to."
Fluttershy smiled as she sat down beside Applejack "It's alright, we'll help you however we can. Um...can I ask a question now...if...that's ok?" Her wide cyan eyes shimmered as she looked from side to side.
He simply nodded as he shifted his weight so that he sat back and was able to rest both his arms on his knees palms upwards. "Alright...ask away. I'll try to do my best to answer your questions."
She looked down and lightly pawed the ground. "Well...I was wondering...what were you doing out here in the forest every night?"
He grit his teeth and averted his gaze. "I was training, you know, relaxing."
Rarity frowned. "Relaxing? Darling, that hardly seems like relaxing to me. A good massage and spa treatment, now that's relaxing." She looked at her green eyed friend. "Applejack, what kind of work are you putting him through?"
Applejack shook her head "I know that working the orchard is a hard days work," She turned her gaze back to him a look of worry adorning her face her ears drooping a bit and her eyes widening in a gaze that could only be named the 'puppy dog look'. "Is it that stressful for you?"
He looked away once more, mostly due to him wishing to avoid the issue, but also because he would be helpless against that face. "No, it's not stressful at all. I find it to be refreshing honestly."
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and grit her teeth as she landed next to him. "Then why do you need to relax if you already find it refreshing to work in the orchard? You're looking tense Grevin..."
Applejack sighed and walked over to him reaching out and placing a gentle hoof on his arm a small smile on her face. "Grevin, I'm the holder of the Element of Honesty. I'm gonna know when you lie. So why not be honest with us...please."
Twilight nodded and moved to sit next to her friend. "She's right. So are you going to tell us what you're really stressed about?"
He sighed allowing his head to fall in defeat but not before pulling his arm back, the contact making him feel a bit uncomfortable, which caused Applejack to frown but say nothing. "Alright, if you must know what I was doing is part of a training routine I have, and it does help me with stress but it has nothing to do with working the orchard."
He raised his head and brought his narrowed gaze to meet with the mane six's. "It has everything to do with what I was doing before I came here." He looked up to the sky collecting his thoughts for a brief moment before taking another slow breath. "Before I came here I was on a very important quest to save my homeland, Bastion. Due to my unique...heritage, I was the only one who could put a stop to an ancient, banished army from being released from their prison to reign terror, chaos and suffering over the land. I was on my way to the gate of their prison hoping to get there before the one who was trying to free them, hoping to set up some sort of ambush. As I was traveling through the mountains a vast and powerful vortex opened up and, despite my efforts to fight it, pulled me through. The next thing I knew I was in the orchard, my entire body aching. I didn't have long to get my barrings because I saw that club house on fire...and well...the rest is history. After our first meeting I remember waking up and you telling me I'd been in a coma for three weeks..."
Twilight frowned her eyes softening. "So...I'm guessing that in that time frame, the one you were trying to stop could have succeeded in their task...unleashing all that chaos and evil across your homeland...Oh Grevin..."
He slowly nodded his head, his eyes distant, his face somber. "Aye, it's a terrible thing, but sadly there is nothing I can do now except hope for the people of the various kingdoms there to come together and meet the threat with as much courage and strength as they can. I can no longer fulfill my purpose and there is nothing else I can do from here."
Rarity stepped forward with a sad look in her eyes. "Darling, we had no idea...we know what it feels like to be the last hope for the land...is there anything we can do?"
He shook his head "You all have already done quite a bit for me and there is nothing more I could or would ask of you. I come out here to try and clear my mind of my concern through my training."
Fluttershy stepped forward placing her face directly in front of his and a hoof on each of his shoulders her cyan eyes filled with sadness as she stared into his. Grevin froze at the touch, his shoulders tensing visibly, before trying to pull back only to have her lean in and begin to pull him back. She lunged forward resting her chin on her left shoulder, her hooves wrapping around him in a tight warm hug. "You...blame yourself don't you? It's not your fault Grevin...you can't blame yourself."
He felt himself tense for two reasons. First and foremost, the warm hug he was receiving caused a lump to form up in his throat, and second, he wasn't accustomed to physical contact except for when he was in a fight of course and the warmth she gave off was making him feel uncomfortably relaxed. "I...don't blame myself Fluttershy, but thank you." To be honest with himself, he did feel a little bit better than before.
She pulled back and nodded a small smile on her face. "You're welcome." She turned to look at her friends only to let out a small squeak when she saw the frowns on Twilight's and Applejack's faces.
Applejack ignored the sheepish look on Fluttershy's face and turned to look at Grevin. "She's right, you can't blame yourself. "
He frowned "I don't..." This caused Applejack to frown her green eyes showing her concern.
Her frown caught Twilight's attention who followed the orange mare's lead. "You did all you could..."
He narrowed his eyes and began to move to his feet. "I told you, I don't blame myself..."
Rainbow Dash rose to meet him her magenta eyes looking into his red ones. "Their right, you shouldn't place any blame on yourself."
Grevin felt a slight growl escape his throat as the familiar feeling of anger, shame, frustration and sadness began to return in the pit of his stomach and begin to rise through him a small bit of wetness in his eyes. "I told you already that I don't blame myself...now can we please change the subject?"
Rarity moved over and looked up at him as Pinkie Pie did the same on his other side and both moved to their hind legs and gave him a brief group hug. "Darling you shouldn't put it squarely on your shoulders."
"Righty right, you did all you could."
Grevin pulled back violently as his frustration, his anger and his sadness overwhelmed him nearly knocking the two ponies to the ground. He turned his back and took a few steps away putting some distance between the ponies and himself his hands balled into fists his shoulders heaving with each breath. "Stop saying that! I did nothing! Fucking nothing! Every time I fought, I failed to stop them! No matter who helped me, no matter what attacks I threw their way, no matter how careful I was, I couldn't do what I was meant to do and protect the people of Bastion and now they are the the mercy of an evil, monstrous, unstoppable force!" He drew a fist back and drove it into an apple tree causing the bark to crack and wood to splinter as the whole thing groaned and shook causing several apples to fall prematurely to the ground. "It was my responsibility and if I had just hung on for a bit longer on that cliff edge...if I had been stronger, faster, or smarter then all those people...women, children, innocent villagers, all of them would be safe! But now...now their blood is on my hands!"
He shuddered as he pulled his hand back and leaned forward resting his head on the tree he just splintered his breathing coming in slow deep breaths, his eyes closed his focus now on trying to get himself back under control. For several minutes there was silence except for the sound of the crackling fire, crickets and his heavy breathing. The mane six stood in sad silence as they watched their friend grieve in his own way. The pure emotion in his voice had shook them to their core, and the violent hit the tree took scared most of them but after a few minutes both Twilight and Applejack began to step forward, both locking eyes with one another a simple nod the only communication they needed between them.
Twilight approached him on his right and Applejack on his left. They paused for a moment as they heard him quietly scold himself. "Dammit Grevin, get it together. They don't need your problems and they really don't need to be frightened by you."
Applejack had heard enough. She trotted over and sat herself down beside him soon followed by Twilight on his opposite side. "Grevin, you are not giving us your problems, and you are not frightening us. You just needed to open up sugar-cube, it's alright we're your friends."
Twilight nodded and placed a soft hoof on his arm which he didn't pull back. "Grevin, we are all very sorry about what happened, but we are also thankful to have you here. If it wasn't for you Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo would of died. I know that Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are eternally grateful to you for that. You've been here a very short time and already helped us so much. You shouldn't forget that."
He quietly nodded and took a slow shaky breath. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that and I didn't mean to scare anyone-"
Pinkie's voice cut him off with a small giggle. "Pony!" She then quickly rolled her eyes and mumbled "I wish the author would get it right..." Rarity paused and looked at her a look of confusion on her face while the pink pony resumed her usual silly nature.
Grevin paused for a moment before a small smile washed across his face. The simple interjection from the pink pony as well as her mirthful giggle was enough to push his sadness away and make way for a light chuckle to rise from his chest. He nodded and turned facing the others as he brushed his hands over his eyes wiping away the remaining wetness from them. He looked at Twilight and Applejack who had backed away from him a bit, their bright eyes looking hopefully up at him. "Thank you...I'll try to be better about opening up to my friends when I need to." He then began walking back towards the campfire and the other ponies who made room for him. "I'm...sorry if I frightened you. I'm used to keeping things bottled up tight...and I guess my emotions finally got the better of me."
Rarity shook her head. "Darling it's never healthy to do something like that. It'll ruin your complexion and give you gray hairs...though if that happens I know the perfect salon that can help with that."
He shook his head as he sat down once more by the fire his nerves finally calm once more and for the first time since he arrived there, he felt relaxed. "That's quite alright. I think I'd probably scare the stylists."
The other ponies laughed a bit as they joined him and they once again began to roast marshmallows, though this time they all sat closer to him than before all of them sharing stories of their adventures involving Nightmare Moon, Gilda, Braeburn and the Buffalo in Appleloosa, a Cider making car...whatever that was, and even a mystery on a train involving something called an MMMM.
The lives of these ponies were simply amazing. They had been through so much together and despite their differences, and the occasional falter, and they were as loyal as could be to one another. He doubted that anything could break up their friendship with one another which was something he envied. In Bastion he had friends, but he didn't trust anyone as far as he could throw them, but here...well it was different.
He glanced to his side and noticed that Applejack had laid down on her stomach and was beginning to look rather sleepy her tired eyes still smiling at the antics of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash across the campfire. Looking to his left he saw that Twilight was in a similar position with a small book in front of her. From what he knew, he doubted that this was abnormal for her.
His thoughts were interrupted by Rarity who had trotted over and had begun to inspect his cloak. "Can I help you with anything Rarity?"
She smiled and nodded. "Quite. I'm curious about this cloak of yours. How can this simple piece of cloth be so effective at hiding your face?"
He reached down next to him and lightly ran his fingertips over the old fabric. "Well, to be honest with you, there is magic in it."
Twilight's ears perked as she heard this and she turned her head to face him. "Did you say magic is in the cloth?"
He nodded once again. "Yes. This cloth was given to me someone I would consider to be an uncle. He knew what I would go through with my features and he had this cloth enchanted with a shadow spell that keeps my face hidden as long as the hood is up. A nice side effect of the spell is that I can blend into shadows a bit easier than before as well. "
Twilight smiled as she moved to her hooves and came over to inspect the cloth with Rarity, her horn lighting up with a soft glow. "That's amazing. Rarity, do you think we could try to do that with one of your creations sometime? It would be a great experiment. Nothing like that has ever been done in Equestria before."
Rarity grinned letting out a small laugh. "Absolutely. The applications could be endless. This could change the fashion industry." Her own horn lit up taking a small corner of the cloak and floating it up near her eyes so she could get a better look at it. "Well...this clearly isn't a cotton blend..."
Twilight watched Rarity work but then allowed her eyes to wander to Grevin for a bit while he spoke to her about the material she was looking at. She took a closer look at his shoulders and allowed her eyes to move down his arm her eyes widening at how deceiving they look. Sure he was muscular, but she would have never guessed that he could do what he did to that tree earlier. She allowed her eyes to travel further down till they caught sight of his forearms, specifically the lower portion. She had seen the particular scars earlier but now that things had settled down, her curiosity was beginning to get to her. Why did he have them? Was it from helping some one like he did Fluttershy?
Applejack had turned her attention from her prankster friends to the three next to her and was surprised to see that ask Grevin and Rarity spoke Twilight was leaning in to his arm with a curious look on her face. She raised her head and adjusted her stetson for a moment before speaking. "Twi...what are you lookin at?"
Twilight snapped her head back and blushed a little bit as everyone's attention was pulled to her. She cleared her throat and brushed her mane away from her eyes. "Well...I was just curious about something I noticed."
Grevin sat back a bit "Alright, I did say I would do my best to answer questions...so what's on your mind?"
She sat up and cleared her throat. "Well...I was wondering, do you take on wounds from the ones you heal?"
His hand instinctively went to his abdomen where the most recent wound of his was, earned when he healed Fluttershy. "Sometimes."
Twilight reached her hoof out and gently grasped his arm and slowly turned it so the scar running across his wrist and down the middle of his lower forearm could be seen in the dim fire light. "Well...you have a scar like this on both arms...I was wondering what kind of wound you healed to receive those?"
Grevin frowned his eyes darkening as he pulled his arm back letting it be tucked back into his cloak. "I...I didn't."
This caused a confused look to cross over her face as she watched him avert his eyes to stare at the ground between his feet. "W...what? Were you born with them?"
He shook his head once more and frown pursing his lips. "No..."
Applejack quirked one eyebrow into the air. "Well...where did it come from sugar-cube?"
He sighed and closed his eyes as he raised a hand to lightly rub the bridge of his nose. "I don't think you want to know."
The mane six all stood up their curiosity getting the better of them but no one said a word until Applejack nodded her head. "I do."
The others nodded their heads in agreement causing his frown to deepen and spoke in a quiet whisper. "Dammit..." He raised his gaze to meet theirs "Are you certain you wish to hear this?"
Rainbow Dash slammed one of her hooves into the other a look of determination coming over her face. "Absolutely. Everypony knows that when you get scars there's an awesome story behind it. So were you doing some kind of wicked trick? Freak training accident? Some kind of epic battle?"
He slowly shook his head in silence. "No."
Twilight's ears flattened at the conversation her own frustration growing. She was curious and wanted to hear his explanation. "Well...what did happen?"
He pursed his lips for a moment as the memories washed through his mind bringing with them old and dark memories. He slowly turned his gaze to all of them looking into their eyes, his own looking as though he were apologizing without words for what he was about to say. "...They are from when I tried to take my own life."
Authors Notes: Hi everyone. I hope that the build up to his reveal was worth it. I rewrote the entire reveal scene at least three times because I wanted to give you readers the best bang for the build up as I could. I hope I didn't disappoint. I also wanted to let you know that Grevin is not going to stay this mopey down and dark person forever. Like most people some of us have demons that we try to keep in the past and move on from as we grow, mature and get older and he is no different so no worries, I've already worked out several chapters in my head with what I want to do with the characters, interactions and events. The hard part is writing it into a decent story with good flow and development. I don't want to rush anything so I can give you readers the best story possible.
As always I want to encourage everyone to read and review especially if I've missed something cannon, show wise or other. Let me know what you think. Until next time keep reading and have a good day. /)*(\
